Feeling defeated, when do you settle and give up on dream?

[RN2MD2015]

Long story short, I have a terrible fear of the MCAT based on my previous track record on standardized exams.

I am currently a RN. I graduated #10 in my class in an all girl catholic high school, attended a private catholic university in NY and graduated with a (3.76 cGPA) while working full-time, attended law school on a full-ride but decided to leave after a year because I wasn't about that struggling attorney life (the law school I attended was not tier 1), I took all my prereqs for medical school at cc (sGPA 3.79) [I was working full-time and cc accommodated my schedule, I feared I would bombed the MCAT so I didn't take it even after paying $2000 for a Princeton review course], I subsequently enrolled in an ABSN program at a state school, I finished with a (3.82 cGPA). I was also concurrently working 30 hrs while in nursing school.

Although I have always done well academically I have always performed poorly on standardized exams. Thus I have an unwavering fear of the MCAT. I'll open a page to study and I'm immediately consumed with thoughts about how "I am wasting my time because I will never do well." It's so frustrating because I actually believe what I am saying to myself. I want to be a doctor but I simply cannot get passed the MCAT. Moreover, now that I'm actually thinking of tackling this beast, I would now have to repeat Orgo, and Physics because it has been 5 years since I originally took those classes and I feel like I don't remember enough to do well on the MCAT and the physics/orgo cc courses I took were inadequate. If accepted into medical school I would not be too concerned about the USMLE because I feel that, that is more content-driven and less trickery. Moreover, I know two people who did VERY poorly on the MCAT and went on to do very well on the USMLE (although their performance is not an indicator of my personal performance).

I'm from NJ but I am currently living and working in Texas. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I just give up and pursue my back-up plan, Pharmacy (nursing does not suit my personality)? I feel so defeated but I would like the truth. I will be 28 in August and feel like such a fail .

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[Silent Cool]

Long story short, I have a terrible fear of the MCAT based on my previous track record on standardized exams.

I am currently a RN. I graduated #10 in my class in an all girl catholic high school, attended a private catholic university in NY and graduated with a (3.76 cGPA) while working full-time, attended law school on a full-ride but decided to leave after a year because I wasn't about that struggling attorney life (the law school I attended was not tier 1), I took all my prereqs for medical school at cc (sGPA 3.79) [I was working full-time and cc accommodated my schedule, I feared I would bombed the MCAT so I didn't take it even after paying $2000 for a Princeton review course], I subsequently enrolled in an ABSN program at a state school, I finished with a (3.82 cGPA). I was also concurrently working 30 hrs while in nursing school.

Although I have always done well academically I have always performed poorly on standardized exams. Thus I have an unwavering fear of the MCAT. I'll open a page to study and I'm immediately consumed with thoughts about how "I am wasting my time because I will never do well." It's so frustrating because I actually believe what I am saying to myself. I want to be a doctor but I simply cannot get passed past the MCAT. Moreover, now that I'm actually thinking of tackling this beast, I would now have to repeat Orgo, and Physics because it has been 5 years since I originally took those classes and I feel like I don't remember enough to do well on the MCAT UM, no you don't have to repeat those classes. That would be the worst use of your time. Self-study (see below). and the physics/orgo cc courses I took were inadequate. If accepted into medical school I would not be too concerned about the USMLE because I feel that, that is more content-driven and less trickery. Moreover, I know two people who did VERY poorly on the MCAT and went on to do very well on the USMLE (although their performance is not an indicator of my personal performance).

I'm from NJ but I am currently living and working in Texas. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I just give up and pursue my back-up plan, Pharmacy (nursing does not suit my personality)? I feel so defeated but I would like the truth. I will be 28 in August and feel like such a fail .

As someone who struggled immensely with the MCAT (and took it multiple times) let me allay your fears.

1) Your grades are great--much better than mine. That said, I don't know how competitive your school was (and that does make a significant difference), but fear of a standardized test should not deter you from applying to medical school. I still managed to get a 30 on the MCAT (not great, but decent).

2) In general, I have also performed poorly on standardized tests.

3) Let me share with you what I think works and what doesn't and therefore what the best prep resources are:

Examkrackers MCAT total study package
Examkrackers MCAT practice tests
All AAMC practice tests
Berkeley Review practice tests
The Gold Standard MCAT practice tests
Examkrackers 1001 questions in MCAT Biology
Examkrackers audio osmosis:
***NOTE: This is especially important for verbal. The best verbal strategy is EK, and it is best explained on the audio osmosis CDs. It is absolutely essential that you listen to these CDs if you want to excel on the verbal section. IMO, the hardest section is verbal, and you must employ the correct strategy to get a decent score on it.***

That's mostly it. There are other books of course to drill in the basic sciences--you need to drill them through repetition and learn timing on the exam. For the most part, you don't even need to read the passages--just go directly to the questions, do the stand-alone questions first, and run through as many questions as you can (on the sciences) on your first pass.

Trust me. You can do this.

If you have more questions, PM me.

 

[edgerock24]

Long story short, I have a terrible fear of the MCAT based on my previous track record on standardized exams.

I am currently a RN. I graduated #10 in my class in an all girl catholic high school, attended a private catholic university in NY and graduated with a (3.76 cGPA) while working full-time, attended law school on a full-ride but decided to leave after a year because I wasn't about that struggling attorney life (the law school I attended was not tier 1), I took all my prereqs for medical school at cc (sGPA 3.79) [I was working full-time and cc accommodated my schedule, I feared I would bombed the MCAT so I didn't take it even after paying $2000 for a Princeton review course], I subsequently enrolled in an ABSN program at a state school, I finished with a (3.82 cGPA). I was also concurrently working 30 hrs while in nursing school.

Although I have always done well academically I have always performed poorly on standardized exams. Thus I have an unwavering fear of the MCAT. I'll open a page to study and I'm immediately consumed with thoughts about how "I am wasting my time because I will never do well." It's so frustrating because I actually believe what I am saying to myself. I want to be a doctor but I simply cannot get passed the MCAT. Moreover, now that I'm actually thinking of tackling this beast, I would now have to repeat Orgo, and Physics because it has been 5 years since I originally took those classes and I feel like I don't remember enough to do well on the MCAT and the physics/orgo cc courses I took were inadequate. If accepted into medical school I would not be too concerned about the USMLE because I feel that, that is more content-driven and less trickery. Moreover, I know two people who did VERY poorly on the MCAT and went on to do very well on the USMLE (although their performance is not an indicator of my personal performance).

I'm from NJ but I am currently living and working in Texas. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I just give up and pursue my back-up plan, Pharmacy (nursing does not suit my personality)? I feel so defeated but I would like the truth. I will be 28 in August and feel like such a fail .

Although I do find the price of most MCAT courses outrageous, I feel like you may be somebody who could benefit from the "structure" that such a course provides. Even if it is just to get you started, and help you "fill in the gaps" of the content you may have not been exposed to, a course could be helpful. The MCAT is a scary thing for all of us. However, it is not something that we should allow to destroy our dreams. Find the type of prep that works well for you (video/audio lessons vs. prep books, for example) and stick with it.

 

[ZedsDed]

Long story short, I have a terrible fear of the MCAT based on my previous track record on standardized exams.

I am currently a RN. I graduated #10 in my class in an all girl catholic high school, attended a private catholic university in NY and graduated with a (3.76 cGPA) while working full-time, attended law school on a full-ride but decided to leave after a year because I wasn't about that struggling attorney life (the law school I attended was not tier 1), I took all my prereqs for medical school at cc (sGPA 3.79) [I was working full-time and cc accommodated my schedule, I feared I would bombed the MCAT so I didn't take it even after paying $2000 for a Princeton review course], I subsequently enrolled in an ABSN program at a state school, I finished with a (3.82 cGPA). I was also concurrently working 30 hrs while in nursing school.

Although I have always done well academically I have always performed poorly on standardized exams. Thus I have an unwavering fear of the MCAT. I'll open a page to study and I'm immediately consumed with thoughts about how "I am wasting my time because I will never do well." It's so frustrating because I actually believe what I am saying to myself. I want to be a doctor but I simply cannot get passed the MCAT. Moreover, now that I'm actually thinking of tackling this beast, I would now have to repeat Orgo, and Physics because it has been 5 years since I originally took those classes and I feel like I don't remember enough to do well on the MCAT and the physics/orgo cc courses I took were inadequate. If accepted into medical school I would not be too concerned about the USMLE because I feel that, that is more content-driven and less trickery. Moreover, I know two people who did VERY poorly on the MCAT and went on to do very well on the USMLE (although their performance is not an indicator of my personal performance).

I'm from NJ but I am currently living and working in Texas. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I just give up and pursue my back-up plan, Pharmacy (nursing does not suit my personality)? I feel so defeated but I would like the truth. I will be 28 in August and feel like such a fail .

Yeah, the MCAT sucks. I imagine studying for the USMLE sucks as well, along with all of the rest of the standardized exams you will have to take regularly for the rest of your career. I suggest seeing a therapist to work out your test anxiety, it worked wonders for me.

 

[2Pints]

My situation was fairly similar to yours. I started the application process when I was 27 after bedside nursing for a few years. Decided to go to medical school and had all my pre-reqs so I only needed to take the MCAT. Hadn't touched any of the MCAT topics in almost 8 years but I was surprised how much came back with practice. I have a few questions/suggestions:

-Have you taken a practice exam?
-Don't retake any of those courses because that's a waste of time and money. You might as well take the prep course (again?) to have the material presented in a way that's specific to MCAT , which it wasn't clear if you actually took the prep course or not from your post
-I used ExamKrackers but should have gotten additional materials for physics. It just wasn't enough...something to consider. I listened to the audio osmosis a lot but don't know how much it helped me personally. I found a person selling it for $45-50 on eBay so I don't feel like I necessarily wasted my money.
-Khan Academy videos and CourseSaver.com videos were very helpful for my learning style
-Stop with the defeatist attitude. MCAT sucks like @ZedsDed said. There is no alternative path to getting into medical school. You either want to be a doctor or you don't. If you can't deal with it, you have a great lifestyle option of being an NP. If you want to be a doctor, I second therapy. It should help put things in perspective and give you tools to work through the anxiety. I'm beyond grateful for my therapist and think she helped me build a good foundation to deal with stress in med school
-Cut back on work as much as possible. Drop to part time or step and commit to studying for the MCAT. I worked way too much during that time period and it hurt me
-Figure out a good study schedule and stick to it. Take practice tests often and apply early in the application cycle. Don't try to rush for this cycle at all because you might be about your age. I'm going to be 33 when I graduate and all my friends from undergrad are already attendings or will be this year...I couldn't be happier about my decision though. Getting into school was one of the best feelings of my life. And almost every shift I work right now as a nurse only reinforces my decision.

Best of luck! Feel free to PM.

 

[oldanddone]

Sounds like a fear that gets in the way significantly. Consider therapy sessions they are specialized to deal with performance destroying issues such as these. ..which is why there is sports psychology etc.

 

[Grace184]

May I ask why "nursing doesn't fit your personality"? Not an attack just a question- I'm currently a pharmacist applying to med school (also went to a private catholic school from ages 3-24 haha) but my closest friends I graduated with are all nurses or pharmacists. What nursing department do you work in? Just trying to get an idea about what you're looking for in a career. As you know department changes make a huge difference. My best friends a transplant nurse and she loves the OR and the Drs and the cases, etc. Another's a gastro NP.

I can give you insight to pharm school and admissions (clinical prof for 3 yrs) so PM me w/ any of those.

And take all these guys advice on MCAT prep- they're the experts

 

[imfeelingsick]

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[imfeelingsick]

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[RN2MD2015]

Guys, thanks for your response. After much deliberation, I think I'm simply going to pursue pharmacy. I seriously do not think the MCAT is something I can conquer and I applaud all of you who did. I seriously appreciate the advice.

 

[ZedsDed]

Guys, thanks for your response. After much deliberation, I think I'm simply going to pursue pharmacy. I seriously do not think the MCAT is something I can conquer and I applaud all of you who did. I seriously appreciate the advice.

You understand you will have to take the PCAT right?

 

[Dral]

Probably a good choice then. The stakes only get higher with Step 1 and Board Exam after residency.

 

[RN2MD2015]

You understand you will have to take the PCAT right?

MCAT >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> PCAT.

 

[RN2MD2015]

Probably a good choice then. The stakes only get higher with Step 1 and Board Exam after residency.

I'm less concerned about Boards and USMLE because again those are content driven and less trickery. I've taken the NCLEX to become a nurse and I'm going to have to pass the boards if I want to practice pharmacy. I'm not concerned.

 

[RN2MD2015]

May I ask why "nursing doesn't fit your personality"?

The biggest reason why I HATE (i know strong word) nursing is too much responsibility not enough autonomy. I work in a Big-Deal ICU . I work with LVADs, ECMO, balloon pumps, my patients regularly get mass infused, daily codes, and etc,. While I am providing a high-level of care and one mistake on my part can literally kill my patient, I feel like I'm treated like some interchangeable part that is easily replaced. As a nurse you have to answer to everyone, and more often than not I feel like I'm a slave as opposed to trusted member on the "team.". Another big reason I detest nursing is the culture. I've never worked with a group of individuals that gain pleasure in seeing another colleague struggle. Nursing is a very toxic environment.

I do not want to become a NP/PA either. The NPs and PAs on our units practice in fear everyday, and I couldn't live my life like that. An example to illustrate, last week one of my patients pulled out his feeding tube and attempted to self-extubate multiple times throughout my shift. I work nights so the PA/NPs are on-call. I called the PA and asked for restraints and her first question was, do you think attending so-and-so would like that? I said, ummm I'm not sure, but what I do know is that I have two patients and this patient is seriously at risk of hurting himself because I can't be with him at all times. She said she didn't feel "comfortable" ordering restraints and if the patient pulled out his ET tube to call her back. Long story short, I ended up waking up the attending myself and he put in the order for restraints and he said if I needed to sedate the patient to call him back. Ordering restraints on a patient that is trying to self extubate and has successfully removed his feeding tube isn't rocket science. There are also several other examples where the PA/NPs didn't put in common sense orders because they feared ramifications from the attending. I've also floated to our outpatient clinics where patients routinely refused to deal with PA/NPs. I wouldn't like that either.

 

[Gurby]

Please see a psychiatrist before you give up on this dream. It seems that you'd be a strong applicant, and the only thing holding you back is MCATphobia.

 

[Dral]

I'm less concerned about Boards and USMLE because again those are content driven and less trickery. I've taken the NCLEX to become a nurse and I'm going to have to pass the boards if I want to practice pharmacy. I'm not concerned.

Which of the following is not a feature of PCOS?
A. Elevated levels of Homocysteine
B. Type I diabetes
C. May be inherited in an autosomal dominant pattern
D. Cysts in the ovaries are actually immature follicles
E. Metformin and OCPs are mainstays of treatment


There is a question a just came up with off the top of my head. The answer is B. Why? It's associated with type II, not type I.

That is a totally valid question to see on any step or boards for certain specialties. Easily construed as a 'trick' question.

Numerous board exam questions base their answers on BEST answer.

SCC appears at the base of cutaneous horn how often?
A. Rarely
B. 15% of the time
C. Always
D. 25% of the time
E. 80% of the time

Answer is 15%. Why not rarely? Because studies show 15%...that is the BETTER (more specific) answer.

Trust me, the steps and boards do much to trick you if not more. I remember an MCAT question asking which was the structure of Alanine...can't get much more straight forward than that.

If you get nervous with MCAT, I'm guessing you will be worse on following exams, at least in terms of becoming a boarded physician. If you can get over it, great. Assuming they are more content oriented and thus less stress inducing is probably not a correct assumption imo. However, I can see what you mean based on the verbal section of the MCAT...that can be stress inducing because it seems less 'concrete' than the other sections.

 

[RN2MD2015]

Which of the following is not a feature of PCOS?
A. Elevated levels of Homocysteine
B. Type I diabetes
C. May be inherited in an autosomal dominant pattern
D. Cysts in the ovaries are actually immature follicles
E. Metformin and OCPs are mainstays of treatment


There is a question a just came up with off the top of my head. The answer is B. Why? It's associated with type II, not type I.

That is a totally valid question to see on any step or boards for certain specialties. Easily construed as a 'trick' question.

Numerous board exam questions base their answers on BEST answer.

SCC appears at the base of cutaneous horn how often?
A. Rarely
B. 15% of the time
C. Always
D. 25% of the time
E. 80% of the time

Answer is 15%. Why not rarely? Because studies show 15%...that is the BETTER (more specific) answer.

Trust me, the steps and boards do much to trick you if not more. I remember an MCAT question asking which was the structure of Alanine...can't get much more straight forward than that.

If you get nervous with MCAT, I'm guessing you will be worse on following exams, at least in terms of becoming a boarded physician. If you can get over it, great. Assuming they are more content oriented and thus less stress inducing is probably not a correct assumption imo. However, I can see what you mean based on the verbal section of the MCAT...that can be stress inducing because it seems less 'concrete' than the other sections.

Again, your example proves nothing. I wouldn't be concerned about USMLE because it is content driven (not that it does not contain trick questions). My biggest fear with the MCAT stems from the fact that I have too much to lose in terms of time, resources, my current relationship (my bf thinks nursing is just fine and that I need to make up my mind and it's a constant battle bc I feel he is being so unsupportive). If I was ever accepted I truly feel like the anxiety would go away. If you disagree, then I respect that as well, albeit I disagree with you.

 

[RN2MD2015]

Please see a psychiatrist before you give up on this dream. It seems that you'd be a strong applicant, and the only thing holding you back is MCATphobia.

This is something I'm contemplating, thank you for the advice.

 

[Dral]

It proves that these exams can be just as tricky as the MCAT. I'm studying for boards now and...well, you don't have to believe someone who has been through it if you choose not to.

Just because something is more specific, doesn't mean it is more content driven. It just means you have to know more about the fewer (not few) things involved.

To do well on step one, I had a half hour by half hour sets schedule from when I woke up to when I went to sleep at night for 2 months straight. I'm talking 7:30 - 8:00AM take practice quiz, 8:00 to 8:30 breakfast, 8:30 to 9:00 correct quiz and annotate First Aid..etc. It's STRESSFUL

And think about your statement about time investment. What happens when you're 7 years into medicine finishing residency (minimum), $200,000 in debt from loans, and studying for your Board exam. There is a HUGE HUGE HUGE time and money investment by that point. You're just at the beginning...again, it only gets worse. The MCAT is content driven, USMLE is content driven, Boards are Content driven...they all are. There are correlations of MCAT and USMLE scores.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16296216
If you feel something about your situation makes that different than almost every other individual, then that's fine.

It's difficult (near impossible) for premeds to truly comprehend what they are signing up for. I don't say that to turn people away, but it's too common for people to find it's way more than they bargained for.

Hopefully you can get over your anxiety if you choose to pursue medicine. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

 

[atomi]

Some frank advice...

I am currently a RN. I graduated #10 in my class in an all girl catholic high school, attended a private catholic university in NY and graduated with a (3.76 cGPA) while working full-time, attended law school on a full-ride but decided to leave after a year because I wasn't about that struggling attorney life (the law school I attended was not tier 1), I took all my prereqs for medical school at cc (sGPA 3.79)

Nothing here unfortunately stands out in a good way. It's not bad, just not good compared to typical MD students these days.

Although I have always done well academically I have always performed poorly on standardized exams.

Based on what you have written so far, you have not pushed your self academically near the level of what is required to succeed in medical school.

Thus I have an unwavering fear of the MCAT. I'll open a page to study and I'm immediately consumed with thoughts about how "I am wasting my time because I will never do well." It's so frustrating because I actually believe what I am saying to myself. I want to be a doctor but I simply cannot get passed the MCAT.

It's not just about getting past the MCAT. You will have myriad more difficult tests to complete going forward.

I would not be too concerned about the USMLE because I feel that, that is more content-driven and less trickery. Moreover, I know two people who did VERY poorly on the MCAT and went on to do very well on the USMLE

Who are you trying to convince here? The hard truth here is that standardized exams for the most part test intelligence compared to your peers. If you have consistently performed poorly on standardized tests, it's either because you don't prepare for them at all or because you've maxed out your god-given cerebral limits. All you can do is try your hardest. The idea that everybody is capable of a top score on the MCAT or USMLE or whatever if they just study hard enough is just blatantly a lie. Nearly everybody is going to max out somewhere below the perfect score. The admissions committees will assume that your number represents your maximum effort and represents your ultimate capability. If you get a 25 on the MCAT because you have a nervous breakdown when you try to test and guess on half the thing, that's one thing. If you get a 25 because you studied for a year and still can't conceptually understand the krebs cycle, that's another. Even if you get past the MCAT, it's not like it's all going to be roses going forward. Exams at my med school were the length of the MCAT and we had one every two weeks. The USMLE requires 2-3 months of 12 hour/day prep and you only get to take it once and that score will decide your career for the most part. Will you be able to deal with that stress?

I'm from NJ but I am currently living and working in Texas. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I just give up and pursue my back-up plan, Pharmacy (nursing does not suit my personality)? I feel so defeated but I would like the truth. I will be 28 in August and feel like such a fail .

No need to feel like a fail. That's what you 20s are for, figuring out what you like. You tried nursing, you don't like it, so move on. Have you considered professions outside of healthcare? The health care industry kind of sucks, and the only reason the vast majority go into it is because of job availability and security.

 

[crazy87]

OP, I also had MCAT fears and even started a prep program and then stopped going because I was so stressed out that all the students seemed to know more than me, and I was embarrassed of being called on and having no clue as to the answer (the "Socratic approach" used by TPR). I delayed the test a couple times. I did get a private tutor to help me with my weakest spots (physical sciences) and then took an entire month off work to study leading up to the test. Ended up getting a 31 which I was very happy with. I spent and wasted a lot of money to get there but I am happy I finally did it. If I were you, I would regret that my fear of one test held me back from an entire career. Wouldn't that haunt you? Pharmacy is also very difficult and has entrance exams associated with it that have more complex problems, at least in certain areas such as chemistry (from what I understand).