Feeling discouraged

[justwhy]

I've finally accepted that it's over for this cycle. I'm still on the waitlist for a school, but I'm not holding my breath.

This was my second time applying and the thought of having to go through all of this again is frustrating, to say the least.

Life has made it so there's really only one school I want to apply to - the same one I was waitlisted at. My mom has terminal cancer. It sucks. And there's a real chance that she will die before I finish med school, so I really would like to stay in the area. There's another school about an hour and a half away, but it's still too long a trek to do very often. I don't want to only come home if things get bad.

I don't really have a question or point. It just finally truly hit me that I'm not going to go to med school - at least not this year - and I needed to either vent to someone or throw something, haha. I figured that you guys would understand the frustration that goes along with this process (though I know that I'm making the application process infinitly tougher by 'suiciding' with one school). It feels like I have so much experience with medicine from being on this side of the table, especially at this point in my life/career. I am so much more involved in her treatment now than I was when she was diagnosed for the first time in highschool.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it's given me more insight into what makes a good/bad doctor than anything else I've done.

But it's not enough. And after spending the last 6 months glued to my phone, checking my email whenever I had a spare minute, I'm kind of...tired.

I would make a good doctor. It's discouraging to know something, to be certain of it, but to not get the opportunity to prove it.

Fingers crossed 3rd time's the charm.

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[LingoLaine]

I'm sorry. I understand how discouraging it is.
I know it totally sucks to be going back to the drawing board but you CAN do this.

I too was limited in geography. First year applied to #1 choice only and didn't even score an interview. Second year raised my MCAT by two points, continued my volunteering activities, got an interview there, and was accepted. But my point, really, is that I was planning to give it three rounds before throwing in the towel, just so I wouldn't have any regrets. It sounds like you're in the same situation and I hope the best for you.

 

[QofQuimica]

Maybe this is life's (fate's? God's?) way of telling you "not right now" when it comes to medical school. Even if you were going to med school locally, you would have a lot of limits on your time and ability to be with your mother during the last months or years of her life, a time when being there for her (and with her) matters the most to both of you. Why not postpone your third app so that you can be there completely (including emotionally) for your mom while you still have that ability? Med school will wait.

 

[jl lin]

Been through this + other detours. I agree w/ Q. I am still glad for every extra second I had with my dad. He had leukemia, and it was so very hard. He was really on the young side. Give your all to being there with mom and cherish every second.

 

[Entadus]

Agreed with QofQuimica. I am sorry it didn't work out this time, but when you finally do start medical school, you want it to be at a time in your life you can give all the focus it demands. It may sound cliche but in my own experience I can say it's probably a good thing I didn't get in the first time. It allowed me to be present for other aspects of life before committing to medicine.

Consider how you can develop your application, and really ensure that your 3rd round of applications "hits it out of the park". I'm sure everyone here is rooting for you!