Feeling hopeless

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newbeginnings

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I graduated 2 years ago from college and have been working and volunteering here and there since.. A few months before I graduated, I took the MCAT and did really, really horrible. I knew I was going to do bad because I didn't take any FL's before, and I basically had only done content review. But I submitted because my parents were incredibly pushy and would've been extremely upset if I had voided. That score to be honest really ruined my confidence and kinda made me depressed for a bit, to the point where I voided when I attempted it again. Well, fast forward to now, and I've regained all motivation to study, but now I don't have my family's support. They think I should never be a doctor: "you've already tried and failed the MCAT". That I don't have what it takes. Their second point is that I'm 24, a girl, and I should have been in my second year in med/dental/pharm school by now like my friends because "being a girl, age is important" and crap like that. My younger sibling had just received their score recently and did well (32) so I think that was a catalyst for their view of me.

How do I regain confidence for this test? Am I even capable or should I really just move on? I have an okay GPA (3.7 culm, 3.5 science) and know I'm capable, but not having the support of my family and having to study in secret kinda kills me inside and my heart's broken. It's like my whole app and life revolved around a career in health, and now I'm being told that I can "never go into medicine, only my x sibling/friend/etc can" and that I am basically incompetent (I started to believe it and do have a backup plan). Of course, it is my life, and I know I'll regret it if I don't try again, but I'm so afraid I'll mess up again, that it's really ruined my confidence (my thought process: I'm 100% applying this year, but I might do bad on this test, and then have to retake, then starts the cycle).

tl;dr my family is against me taking the new MCAT, saying that I'm incapable of being a doctor, that it's over and that I should get a new career. I don't believe it, but my confidence level is now almost nonexistent

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Pardon my language, but screw their opinion. You are capable and at the end of the day it's about what will make you happy in the long run.

Put your all into the new MCAT and make them feel stupid.
 
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Your GPA is fantastic.
Your parents didn't want you to void probably because it costs a lot of money...

If your ECs are snazzy just retake the new MCAT. Just make sure to check out the resources here at SDN because I've heard it helped people ace their mcats. You can make sure you're ready with the AMCAS practice tests. Content review is not enough. You need to practice reading passages.
 
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Pardon my language, but screw their opinion. You are capable and at the end of the day it's about what will make you happy in the long run.

Put your all into the new MCAT and make them feel stupid.
Thank you, but I just feel like while I'm capable,and even if I get good practice FL scores, I'll somehow screw it up come test time. I never had such bad test anxiety before, but it came out of nowhere. :(
 
Thank you, but I just feel like while I'm capable,and even if I get good practice FL scores, I'll somehow screw it up come test time. I never had such bad test anxiety before, but it came out of nowhere. :(

Mental toughness is half the battle. Don't defeat yourself before you even sit down.
 
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Thank you, but I just feel like while I'm capable,and even if I get good practice FL scores, I'll somehow screw it up come test time. I never had such bad test anxiety before, but it came out of nowhere. :(

Did you take any FLs before the 2nd time you took the exam and voided it? I would venture to say that if you actually do well on the FLs that it will boost your confidence enough to get over some of your anxiety from previous experiences. Also, make sure you take the FLs in an environment that closely simulates the real exam environment. And stop thinking so negatively. You shouldn't be arrogant, but you should believe in yourself.

You sound like you are capable of doing well, so the only thing standing in the way of your success is yourself. Who cares what your family thinks/wants (I know it's tough but you have to find a way to get over it). My father didn't want be to become a physician because of the entitled attitude that some of them have. He hated them. I went against what he wanted and he now supports my decision since he has seen how well I am doing and how motivated I am to succeed.

You've gotten this far, and you can defeat the MCAT with the proper mind set and motivation.
 
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Thank you, but I just feel like while I'm capable,and even if I get good practice FL scores, I'll somehow screw it up come test time. I never had such bad test anxiety before, but it came out of nowhere. :(

At the end of day, you have to remember that regardless of what score you receive, you will be fine and your life will continue on.

If you actually want to go medical school, there's no getting around the MCAT. Take your studying seriously. I took 7 full length exams in the weeks leading up to my test under exact testing conditions. I woke up at 5 the morning of each one, and was at the library by 715 to start each test at 8. By the time the real deal rolled around, it mostly felt like just another test.

24 is not old. At my UG school's med school, the average age of matriculants for last years class was 27. Other students here have classmates in their 30s and 40s. I believe @Goro says one of the best students he's had recently graduated at 50!
 
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What an unfortunate series of events -- To have your parents push you into taking the test before you were ready, then berate you for performing poorly. I can see why your confidence is shaken and why your internal self-talk is now making things even harder.

Your GPA shows that you are capable. You were also correct in your evaluation that you were not ready to take the test when you did -- but just succumbed to parental pressure to take it anyway -- over your own best judgement. Knowing that you were not ready, realize now that your score does not reflect your ability, and throw it out! Throw that score out of your mindset and self-perception and vow to give yourself a fair chance -- which you haven't had yet.

Not that I think you're crazy, but I'd suggest a few sessions with a therapist to help you get your head right. Learn how to manage your own thoughts and emotions, what to share with your parents and what to keep to yourself, whether and how to confront them about your past performance, and how to set and follow a study plan and psych yourself UP for the test instead of down.

If you can get your head right and block out the past and that nasty little voice of self-doubt, you can succeed going forward. (You've got plenty of time.)
 
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Go talk to a counselor or therapist. Medical school is a furnace and you have other issues to deal with first, if you wish to pursue this.
How do I regain confidence for this test? Am I even capable or should I really just move on?

Your family?????!!! You're 24. That means you're old enough to vote, drive, drink, work, pay taxes, and fight and die for your country. You're old enough to grow a spine and tell your family you'll do things way, and on your timetable, period.

tl;dr my family is against me taking the new MCAT, saying that I'm incapable of being a doctor, that it's over and that I should get a new career. I don't believe it, but my confidence level is now almost nonexistent
 
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Go talk to a counselor or therapist. Medical school is a furnace and you have other issues to deal with first, if you wish to pursue this.
How do I regain confidence for this test? Am I even capable or should I really just move on?

Your family?????!!! You're 24. That means you're old enough to vote, drive, drink, work, pay taxes, and fight and die for your country. You're old enough to grow a spine and tell your family you'll do things way, and on your timetable, period.

tl;dr my family is against me taking the new MCAT, saying that I'm incapable of being a doctor, that it's over and that I should get a new career. I don't believe it, but my confidence level is now almost nonexistent

Very true that you should not let your family run your life at 24, but the fact of that matter is that many young adults still deal with familial pressure.

I know I do in other aspects of my life, and it's a battle sometimes to make my parents respect me as an adult. However, you should definitely set 'em straight at some point.
 
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@GodComplex, @TheLionheart: thank you, but unfortunately, for this new mcat, there's only ONE official AAMC FL. I'm going to try and get some from another test company, and I'm still going to take all the old FL's that I've saved, but judging from the sample questions the AAMC provided, the old FL's seem outdated. Thank you so much for your advice.
 
What an unfortunate series of events -- To have your parents push you into taking the test before you were ready, then berate you for performing poorly. I can see why your confidence is shaken and why your internal self-talk is now making things even harder.

Your GPA shows that you are capable. You were also correct in your evaluation that you were not ready to take the test when you did -- but just succumbed to parental pressure to take it anyway -- over your own best judgement. Knowing that you were not ready, realize now that your score does not reflect your ability, and throw it out! Throw that score out of your mindset and self-perception and vow to give yourself a fair chance -- which you haven't had yet.

Not that I think you're crazy, but I'd suggest a few sessions with a therapist to help you get your head right. Learn how to manage your own thoughts and emotions, what to share with your parents and what to keep to yourself, whether and how to confront them about your past performance, and how to set and follow a study plan and psych yourself UP for the test instead of down.

If you can get your head right and block out the past and that nasty little voice of self-doubt, you can succeed going forward. (You've got plenty of time.)
Thank you, yeah I'm definitely going to make an appointment to just talk to someone, maybe join a support group to stop with the negativity. It sucks not having my family's support, but I suppose I'll just have to get over it, and have that motivate me even more.
 
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Others have said this in the thread already, but I'll repeat for emphasis.

You have everything working in your favor, EC's, cGPA, sGPA, etc. Right now the only thing standing between you and med school is a 4 hour test with ~144 questions, its up to you. Do you want to get it? Show your f***** family that you are able to do it, show yourself that you're better than that, and go out and get it.

I'd kill to have your GPA, because honestly I screwed up my first year in college, and had to the pay the price thereafter, graduating Cum Laude by the skin of my teeth. You have the chance, so do it, work hard, invest your time effectively, and enjoy the fruit of your efforts. Best of luck and you should totally check out @SN2ed or @Spinach Dip 's threads on conquering the test. They worked out in my favor.
 
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Others have said this in the thread already, but I'll repeat for emphasis.

You have everything working in your favor, EC's, cGPA, sGPA, etc. Right now the only thing standing between you and med school is a 4 hour test with ~144 questions, its up to you. Do you want to get it? Show your f***** family that you are able to do it, show yourself that you're better than that, and go out and get it.

I'd kill to have your GPA, because honestly I screwed up my first year in college, and had to the pay the price thereafter, graduating Cum Laude by the skin of my teeth. You have the chance, so do it, work hard, invest your time effectively, and enjoy the fruit of your efforts. Best of luck and you should totally check out @SN2ed or @Spinach Dip 's threads on conquering the test. They worked out in my favor.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I'll definitely be referring back to this thread anytime I feel hopeless.

I wish I could go back and take the old MCAT, but there's a new one, and it's now 7ish hours, with only 1 FL provided by the AAMC. So I'm probably going to buy some other FL's from other test companies. But I won't use that as an excuse, I'm really going to try my best. Thank you again, you don't know how great it is for me to hear this.
 
This is exactly why SDN is such a beautiful place. I try and motivate others, because other did the same for me when I was down.
 
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Sorry to hear that your family put all that pressure on you. The same thing happened with my parents. They were gutting me for taking 2 years off and it was annoying because I knew what I needed to do to strengthen my app and they had no idea.

Just explain to them that getting into medical school is not simply a matter of doing things on time, you have to work for it and apply when you're ready.

Also, don't stress about the new MCAT. If it's a mystery for you, then it's the same for everyone else. You just have to do well relative to everyone else. Put in the work, DO MANY PRACTICE PROBLEMS (at least 60% of your studying should be strictly practice), and kill it.
 
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Sounds like you have overbearing Asian parents. Mine haven't stfu about me being a girl and "still not settled down" even though I did what they wanted and got a professional degree. The aggravations never end. If it's not one thing to complain about, it's another.

/end rant
 
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Whether you think you can, or you can't, you're right.

Study up; if you are able to, take an official prep course for the mcat. Give it all you've got and Godspeed.
 
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