Feeling lost and depressed

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Mourningdove

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Hey peoples,
I'm having a really hard time and it would be great if someone could give their advice. I've never done this kind of explain your situation on the web thing before, so hopefully people aren't totally insensitive in their responses. Here's the situation, sorry if it comes across as super melodramatic:

It's my first year at vet school and I feel so lost and depressed. I was depressed before I came halfway across the country from home to go to vet school and being in vet school, so far away from my family and pets, has intensified it. I went home for the first time this winter for break, started crying tears of joy at being home before the plane landed, and now I'm dreading going back. What I can't tell is whether I'm having such a hard time because I'm homesick or because I don't know whether it's worth it to become a vet.

This first semester was so difficult; I'm terrible at anatomy and having integrated classes hasn't helped. Every day I come home from gruelingly long hours of classes, I feel exhausted (also from chronic sleep deprivation) and then am supposed to study the rest of the night. I saw a counselor the whole semester which did help a little, but she's not coming back next semester. I'm involved in some clubs, and I generally like my classmates, but I feel so alone and sad. Most of them are in-state or live close enough to drive back home, or have significant others here. My state has no vet school, so out-of-state was the only option. When I'm there, I feel so unmotivated, so stupid compared to my peers, and feel so overwhelmed I avoid studying until everything crumbles around me. Every day is a struggle. I'm just barely hanging on academically (70 is failing and I have a 73) and I just don't know what to do. I worked so hard to get here, gave up a social life for a good GPA in undergrad, logged over 1,000 hours of vet/animal experience, and have a **** ton of loans that aren't just going to disappear if I stop now. I even tried to go the military route for the HPSP so that I didn't have to worry about finances, but was disqualified due to a physical health condition. If I quit now, I'm not sure what I would do with my life and I know my mom would be so disappointed with me. Never mind her, I know I would feel like a failure and that I'd wasted so many years of my life.

I wanted to become a vet in the first place because I wanted to make a difference in the world and do something altruistic. I wanted to help animals, especially those in shelters/on the streets who didn't have anyone looking out for them, and I loved how challenging and different every day at work would be. But after seeing all the posts/data about how much burnout goes on, clients often not being able to pay so the patient suffers, and overflow of new grads making it harder to find a private practice job, awful income to debt ratio, it's disheartening. Vets have told me vet debt is like dragging around 2 mortgages and to become a pediatrician instead and make 10x salary. But when I look at the patients at the teaching hospitals, all I want to do is to be able to help them recover and am fascinated by the wisdom that comes out of the vet's mouths. I think second year will be easier based on the subject matter being more microbiology related, but who knows. I can't tell whether I just need to quit before I get too deep in debt, transfer to somewhere closer to home although I feel that's impossible given my crappy GPA, or just stick with it and feel awful now, but trust everything's going to be okay in the long run.​

Ouch, this is pretty long. Thank you in advance for your feedback.

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MourningDove,

The only person to truly be able to answer this is you. I have had many of the same struggles so know that you are not alone. I had a major life crisis my first semester of vet school and failed out. I was fortunate enough to start again with the next class but I can tell you I still miss home intensely and cry everytime I leave. I frequently question if this is all worth it. I have made so many personal sacrifices, it sounds like you have too, but only you can decide how much more you are willing to sacrifice. I will say that if you are struggling in the first year, in my experience with vet school, it only gets harder. I don't know your background or your strengths or weaknesses so it is hard to say how you will do. Talk to your professors and share your concerns. They are there to help you and they might possibly have some advice for you. I am 100% positive you are not the only person who has gone through what you are going through right now. Please know that you are not alone in your struggle. Continue seeing the school therapist (I love mine, I would not be able to make it without them). Don't worry about what other people would think if you walked away or chose to stay. This needs to be your decision. You should never feel like a failure for staying true to yourself.
 
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Hey peoples,
I'm having a really hard time and it would be great if someone could give their advice. I've never done this kind of explain your situation on the web thing before, so hopefully people aren't totally insensitive in their responses. Here's the situation, sorry if it comes across as super melodramatic:

It's my first year at vet school and I feel so lost and depressed. I was depressed before I came halfway across the country from home to go to vet school and being in vet school, so far away from my family and pets, has intensified it. I went home for the first time this winter for break, started crying tears of joy at being home before the plane landed, and now I'm dreading going back. What I can't tell is whether I'm having such a hard time because I'm homesick or because I don't know whether it's worth it to become a vet.

This first semester was so difficult; I'm terrible at anatomy and having integrated classes hasn't helped. Every day I come home from gruelingly long hours of classes, I feel exhausted (also from chronic sleep deprivation) and then am supposed to study the rest of the night. I saw a counselor the whole semester which did help a little, but she's not coming back next semester. I'm involved in some clubs, and I generally like my classmates, but I feel so alone and sad. Most of them are in-state or live close enough to drive back home, or have significant others here. My state has no vet school, so out-of-state was the only option. When I'm there, I feel so unmotivated, so stupid compared to my peers, and feel so overwhelmed I avoid studying until everything crumbles around me. Every day is a struggle. I'm just barely hanging on academically (70 is failing and I have a 73) and I just don't know what to do. I worked so hard to get here, gave up a social life for a good GPA in undergrad, logged over 1,000 hours of vet/animal experience, and have a **** ton of loans that aren't just going to disappear if I stop now. I even tried to go the military route for the HPSP so that I didn't have to worry about finances, but was disqualified due to a physical health condition. If I quit now, I'm not sure what I would do with my life and I know my mom would be so disappointed with me. Never mind her, I know I would feel like a failure and that I'd wasted so many years of my life.

I wanted to become a vet in the first place because I wanted to make a difference in the world and do something altruistic. I wanted to help animals, especially those in shelters/on the streets who didn't have anyone looking out for them, and I loved how challenging and different every day at work would be. But after seeing all the posts/data about how much burnout goes on, clients often not being able to pay so the patient suffers, and overflow of new grads making it harder to find a private practice job, awful income to debt ratio, it's disheartening. Vets have told me vet debt is like dragging around 2 mortgages and to become a pediatrician instead and make 10x salary. But when I look at the patients at the teaching hospitals, all I want to do is to be able to help them recover and am fascinated by the wisdom that comes out of the vet's mouths. I think second year will be easier based on the subject matter being more microbiology related, but who knows. I can't tell whether I just need to quit before I get too deep in debt, transfer to somewhere closer to home although I feel that's impossible given my crappy GPA, or just stick with it and feel awful now, but trust everything's going to be okay in the long run.​

Ouch, this is pretty long. Thank you in advance for your feedback.


I'm sure you already knew about the situation for veterinarians before you got accepted into vet school. But it seems like you truly love the field
and I personally think that you have put in waaayy to much work to quit now. Life isn't all about money and you must do what you love not
what brings home the most cash. I don't have a passion for animals (which is why I would never apply to vet school) but you certainly do and
you should stick with it. The schooling is difficult, but even if you went into medical school, I'm sure you would still dread going back to school
after winter break. And the debt in vet school isn't that higher (at least compared to dental school :( ). I do think you will be fine in the long run!
 
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Hey Mourningdove! You are definitely not alone, there are lots of people on here who feel/felt the way you do, and can share stories. I didn't start struggling with depression/anxiety until after school (and for other reasons), but I know what it feels like. Stick with counseling even if it means finding someone else, and consider talking to someone about medical help.

Big hugs!
 
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I wanted to become a vet in the first place because I wanted to make a difference in the world and do something altruistic. I wanted to help animals, especially those in shelters/on the streets who didn't have anyone looking out for them, and I loved how challenging and different every day at work would be. But after seeing all the posts/data about how much burnout goes on, clients often not being able to pay so the patient suffers, and overflow of new grads making it harder to find a private practice job, awful income to debt ratio, it's disheartening.
I think you need to get back in touch with this. Can you volunteer in your off time at a shelter? If you decide to not become a vet, you can still do altruistic things (even with animals like volunteer work)

It seems to me like you're doubling down on vet school studying, but really you might need to study smarter not harder. Meet with a learning specialist if that is what it takes. Figure out what allows you to retain information better. For me, it was making and studying flash cards. For others, it's reading and re-reading powerpoints. Sometimes just writing it all out on a white board or teaching it to another student can be excellent. Find a tutor that works for you and work with that. Don't just study for 5 hrs a night because you think you're supposed to.

Sleep is important and many people don't do well without the appropriate amount of sleep for them. Make it a priority, don't study late into the night. You won't retain it as well. Take time every night to take a break and do something just for you. Watch a tv show or 2 (maybe even between studying), color in a coloring book, go ride a horse, go to the dog park with your pet, or do whatever else it is that makes you happy. Then use the previous suggestions to study smarter. I would wager you will see improvements.
 
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Thanks everyone for your feedback! I'm going to try to stick it out at least this semester, and hope that I can try to get more sleep and be less miserable all the time. Unfortunately, the counseling center only lets you have one semester of one-on-one counseling, but I'm on the wait-list for group, so hopefully that will come through. I am going to try to change my strategy and maybe that will include using recorded lectures instead of going to class in the morning to get more sleep because I usually end up falling asleep at least once during that time anyways and also giving myself breaks. Haha I have banned myself from adult coloring books though because I can't help but finish it once I start and end up wasting hours of time. Thank you also for the honesty and sharing of your experiences too.
 
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Adult coloring is the best. It's a great stress reliever.
 
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A lot of the questions you have can only be answered by you, but here are a couple thoughts I have:

First of all, it doesn't matter how "intelligent" you are compared to your classmates. Just so we're clear, your relative intelligence/academic ability DOES NOT MATTER. Statistically speaking, some students will be in the top half of class, and then others will be in the bottom. That has to happen, because that's how numbers work. If you're in the bottom half, it doesn't mean anything about your veterinary abilities or your worth as a person; it just means that's how the numbers worked out this time. If you're passing your classes, then you're succeeding academically. I know we all want to be the smartest and brightest, but that's a fool's errand. Make an effort to convince yourself that this is true.

Second, make sure your free time is actually beneficial to you. It sounds like you view the time you aren't studying as being "wasted," which probably means you end up feeling guilty about it. Leisure time is essential for good mental health, but it won't have any benefit for you if you allow yourself to feel guilty for taking it. Here's the thing: you don't need to study all the time. More importantly, you CANNOT study all the time. I remember when I first started vet school I had a similar problem. I was so anxious about my classes that any time I wasn't studying just made me more nervous. I felt like I was doing something wrong. It took me a while to realize that in many ways, time away from schoolwork is just as important as study time. Try to make a clear, intentional delineation between the two. Allow yourself to have time for yourself every day, and fight any urge to tell yourself you're just "wasting time." If you can do that, when the time to start studying comes I think you'll feel much better about your abilities.

Finally, for God's sake, sleep. Sleep is not a luxury, nor should it play second fiddle to studying.
 
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I'm sure you already knew about the situation for veterinarians before you got accepted into vet school. But it seems like you truly love the field
and I personally think that you have put in waaayy to much work to quit now. Life isn't all about money and you must do what you love not
what brings home the most cash. I don't have a passion for animals (which is why I would never apply to vet school) but you certainly do and
you should stick with it. The schooling is difficult, but even if you went into medical school, I'm sure you would still dread going back to school
after winter break. And the debt in vet school isn't that higher (at least compared to dental school :( ). I do think you will be fine in the long run!
Yeah, you can't really understand what she/he's going through unless you are in vet school or have graduated. I thought I understood the struggle as a pre-vet by hanging out on these forums for years but I didn't understand until I was in the thick of it myself. OP, I can relate to a lot of what you're going through. I'm also a first year. My plan is to make it through first year and spend the summer reflecting on whether or not it was worth it. Hang in there.
 
Yeah, you can't really understand what she/he's going through unless you are in vet school or have graduated. I thought I understood the struggle as a pre-vet by hanging out on these forums for years but I didn't understand until I was in the thick of it myself. OP, I can relate to a lot of what you're going through. I'm also a first year. My plan is to make it through first year and spend the summer reflecting on whether or not it was worth it. Hang in there.
Thanks for the empathy Puffins! I think you're right. I just need to lower my standards, and just pass this year and think about it over the summer. What other things are you interested in? I feel like my life is one big question mark!
 
Thanks for the empathy Puffins! I think you're right. I just need to lower my standards, and just pass this year and think about it over the summer. What other things are you interested in? I feel like my life is one big question mark!
These days I dream about quitting school and becoming a zookeeper except that I'm not in any way qualified for that. It's mostly fantasy at this point but thinking about it gives my brain a break from school. If I actually did quit vet school, I'd probably do an MPH and try to work in disease surveillance. Many things about my life are a big question mark at this point but I'm trying to ride it out and take it piece by piece. That's really vague but just tackling study goals daily helps me get through school and prevents me from getting overwhelmed by everything that I need to do.
 
These days I dream about quitting school and becoming a zookeeper except that I'm not in any way qualified for that. It's mostly fantasy at this point but thinking about it gives my brain a break from school. If I actually did quit vet school, I'd probably do an MPH and try to work in disease surveillance. Many things about my life are a big question mark at this point but I'm trying to ride it out and take it piece by piece. That's really vague but just tackling study goals daily helps me get through school and prevents me from getting overwhelmed by everything that I need to do.

I did two internships at a zoo one summer doing zoo keeper work. It's a lot of work, but the people there are really passionate and I think you'd probably be qualified after you do an internship since I assume you already have a Bachelors. MPH is cool too. But, yeah keep going for now and I will too...
 
I know this was a month ago but I stumbled across this post and felt compelled to respond. It is really hard for me to read things like this and hear stories of wildly successful and wonderful students and veterinarians that feel like they are barely hanging on. The first thing you should know is that you are NOT alone. There are veterinary students all over the country (probably world) that feel exactly the same way you do. I'm a 2nd yr student and I've definitely had moments questioning if I belong in vet school. I was a great student in undergrad, I got accepted into my top choice, and was on cloud 9. It wasn't until the end of my first semester when I received my class rank that I went down the same self-doubting road you're on now.

Here are some things to think about: Veterinary students are some of the best and brightest students in higher education, they have to be to even get accepted to vet school. You're in school with people that were also the top students in undergrad and now there are 100+ (our class is 140) really smart, really dedicated, Type A students in your class; it is OK not to be the best student now! You are enough. You made it into vet school, your school saw something in you (because, be honest, they don't let everyone in), you are capable of doing this. You might be "close to" 70 but you're not at 70 yet, so don't beat yourself up, no one is going to ask about your GPA when you're saving a stray animal that got hit by a car. You really are enough. The first 3 years of school is going to be way different than clinics and your career, so don't label yourself as a failure yet. I know several 4th years that ACED their way through the first 3 years and then FAILED their first rotation in internal medicine because they couldn't deal with clients, and actual animal treatment...we all have our strong points, you have yours too, even if you don't see it. Again, you are enough. Please, go talk to the staff/faculty/curriculum committee at your school; I know it is a rough conversation to start but they really do want students to succeed and can help you get the help you need, whether that is counseling or tutoring. And trust me, some of your faculty doctors have been exactly where you are now. Lots of my classmates had to get upperclassmen to tutor them during anatomy and our pharmacology classes. It's tough stuff!

Vet school is hard and I know it feels impossible and you're probably fighting some depression/anxiety/home sickness which doesn't help. I can't give you a list of things to do that are a magic fix, but I can tell you that finding a counselor will continue to help. You may also want to talk to a doctor/psychiatrist about some meds, it doesn't have to be forever, but, trust me, they can make ALL the difference when dealing with these issues. Your explanation of being overwhelmed to the point of not wanting to study until everything is crumbling sounds very familiar. I take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds now after struggling with some similar issues and it really helped get me to a point where I could function and start to work myself out of a hole. It's really hard to not beat yourself up when surrounded with people that always appear to be doing better than you but remember that everyone is struggling with something, You are good enough for this.

As far as the vet career, debt etc. It's true, we don't make a bunch of money when we get out but you're not going to be living in poverty. I wouldn't suggest maxing out student loans so you can get 5 lattes every day but...live reasonably. We have tons of career talks at my school and despite what a lot of veterinarians say, the future isn't THAT grim. Vet medicine is one of the industries that didn't even take a huge hit during the recession, companion animal care is becoming more popular and more people than ever see it as a necessity. And...guess what? Even after taking out massive student loans, veterinarians still manage to buy successful practices, put their kids through college, and be normal members of society. That being said, if you feel like you don't want to be a veterinarian, then yeah, I wouldn't suggest getting into pretty hefty debt to please your family or wear a white coat to work...if that's the issue then maybe human medicine is a better fit.

Now, I'm not saying this will work for you but...here are a few things I realized that have helped tremendously: I got into vet school so SOMEONE (quite a few people probably) thought I could do it. My ability to take a test isn't indicative of my ability to care for and treat animals appropriately and with empathy. I also realized that at a certain point, I was getting the same grades on tests whether I studied all night, every night, or just spent a few hours going over stuff. So I stopped killing myself and looked for things and friends outside of vet school (try meetup.org if you need suggestions). It was terrifying to let go and risk that I might do worse than before when I was studying nonstop but...I started to relax, enjoy life, and was able to focus more and get stuff done in my allotted study time. Plus, as much as I love animals, it was great to have conversations that didn't revolve around vet school and personal pets. It also allowed me to stop constantly comparing myself to my classmates, because I got to spend time away from them. My class rank actually went up second year and I feel more confident in some of the classes that my classmates are struggling with. My life (and grades) are far from perfect but it's better now and I'm not looking for perfection anymore; I'm just moving forward. I'm not saying all of this is what you should do, but please talk to someone and maybe they can help you work some of this stuff out. Talking to someone about this stuff was a literal life-saver for me. You would never ask a dog with an untreated broken leg to go running every day, so don't expect yourself to keep pushing forward if you feel broken. If you want to talk more or have any questions or just want to vent, yell, cry, whatever, please feel free to contact me. More than anything please remember that you are enough, exactly as you are now, exactly as you will be in a year, in vet school, out of vet school, in life, wherever it may take you, you really are enough.
 
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I know this was a month ago but I stumbled across this post and felt compelled to respond. It is really hard for me to read things like this and hear stories of wildly successful and wonderful students and veterinarians that feel like they are barely hanging on. The first thing you should know is that you are NOT alone. There are veterinary students all over the country (probably world) that feel exactly the same way you do. I'm a 2nd yr student and I've definitely had moments questioning if I belong in vet school. I was a great student in undergrad, I got accepted into my top choice, and was on cloud 9. It wasn't until the end of my first semester when I received my class rank that I went down the same self-doubting road you're on now.

Here are some things to think about: Veterinary students are some of the best and brightest students in higher education, they have to be to even get accepted to vet school. You're in school with people that were also the top students in undergrad and now there are 100+ (our class is 140) really smart, really dedicated, Type A students in your class; it is OK not to be the best student now! You are enough. You made it into vet school, your school saw something in you (because, be honest, they don't let everyone in), you are capable of doing this. You might be "close to" 70 but you're not at 70 yet, so don't beat yourself up, no one is going to ask about your GPA when you're saving a stray animal that got hit by a car. You really are enough. The first 3 years of school is going to be way different than clinics and your career, so don't label yourself as a failure yet. I know several 4th years that ACED their way through the first 3 years and then FAILED their first rotation in internal medicine because they couldn't deal with clients, and actual animal treatment...we all have our strong points, you have yours too, even if you don't see it. Again, you are enough. Please, go talk to the staff/faculty/curriculum committee at your school; I know it is a rough conversation to start but they really do want students to succeed and can help you get the help you need, whether that is counseling or tutoring. And trust me, some of your faculty doctors have been exactly where you are now. Lots of my classmates had to get upperclassmen to tutor them during anatomy and our pharmacology classes. It's tough stuff!

Vet school is hard and I know it feels impossible and you're probably fighting some depression/anxiety/home sickness which doesn't help. I can't give you a list of things to do that are a magic fix, but I can tell you that finding a counselor will continue to help. You may also want to talk to a doctor/psychiatrist about some meds, it doesn't have to be forever, but, trust me, they can make ALL the difference when dealing with these issues. Your explanation of being overwhelmed to the point of not wanting to study until everything is crumbling sounds very familiar. I take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds now after struggling with some similar issues and it really helped get me to a point where I could function and start to work myself out of a hole. It's really hard to not beat yourself up when surrounded with people that always appear to be doing better than you but remember that everyone is struggling with something, You are good enough for this.

As far as the vet career, debt etc. It's true, we don't make a bunch of money when we get out but you're not going to be living in poverty. I wouldn't suggest maxing out student loans so you can get 5 lattes every day but...live reasonably. We have tons of career talks at my school and despite what a lot of veterinarians say, the future isn't THAT grim. Vet medicine is one of the industries that didn't even take a huge hit during the recession, companion animal care is becoming more popular and more people than ever see it as a necessity. And...guess what? Even after taking out massive student loans, veterinarians still manage to buy successful practices, put their kids through college, and be normal members of society. That being said, if you feel like you don't want to be a veterinarian, then yeah, I wouldn't suggest getting into pretty hefty debt to please your family or wear a white coat to work...if that's the issue then maybe human medicine is a better fit.

Now, I'm not saying this will work for you but...here are a few things I realized that have helped tremendously: I got into vet school so SOMEONE (quite a few people probably) thought I could do it. My ability to take a test isn't indicative of my ability to care for and treat animals appropriately and with empathy. I also realized that at a certain point, I was getting the same grades on tests whether I studied all night, every night, or just spent a few hours going over stuff. So I stopped killing myself and looked for things and friends outside of vet school (try meetup.org if you need suggestions). It was terrifying to let go and risk that I might do worse than before when I was studying nonstop but...I started to relax, enjoy life, and was able to focus more and get stuff done in my allotted study time. Plus, as much as I love animals, it was great to have conversations that didn't revolve around vet school and personal pets. It also allowed me to stop constantly comparing myself to my classmates, because I got to spend time away from them. My class rank actually went up second year and I feel more confident in some of the classes that my classmates are struggling with. My life (and grades) are far from perfect but it's better now and I'm not looking for perfection anymore; I'm just moving forward. I'm not saying all of this is what you should do, but please talk to someone and maybe they can help you work some of this stuff out. Talking to someone about this stuff was a literal life-saver for me. You would never ask a dog with an untreated broken leg to go running every day, so don't expect yourself to keep pushing forward if you feel broken. If you want to talk more or have any questions or just want to vent, yell, cry, whatever, please feel free to contact me. More than anything please remember that you are enough, exactly as you are now, exactly as you will be in a year, in vet school, out of vet school, in life, wherever it may take you, you really are enough.

Thank you for your advice! Being enough is something I struggle with daily even outside of school because I suspect, since I haven't made time for a life, I end up defining myself by how well I do academically. I will try to remember that mantra :)
 
Mourningdove---same as sasvet, I'm late to the thread, but I really want to share my experience with you. I hear you, I do.

I am a third year student who had to take a medical leave of absence for mental health reasons after the end of fall term this year. I spiraled down completely to rock bottom; hysteric and miserable, I literally would have an existential crisis every time I tried to study. I started drinking, abusing prescription pills. I bombed exams.
Like you, I can't see myself doing anything else, so I KNOW deep down that some part of me wanted to be there, but the rest of me wanted to GTFO (and that's actually what I did after I formally submitted my request for a leave--I hopped in my car and drove 1000 miles on a whim).

I sought psychiatric help because I have a history of depression and anxiety, and it was clear to me and my closest friends that I was going through some scary ****. I ended up being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Needless to say, that's not something you'd like to have happen halfway through vet school, let alone at all. What was almost more frustrating than that was the pressure from my family and a few of my friends to press on. I was screaming for help in every way, and I in my heart I knew I was hoping for someone to tell me it was okay to throw in the towel. Not permanently, but long enough to get the help I needed to pull myself out of the suicidal, confused hopelessness that was my life. How did this even happen, and why the eff do I basically have to ask permission to be human. As if vet students aren't human. Pfft, I'm still convinced some of them aren't. Jk, but I digress...
Admittedly, part of me is crushed because time off means being held back and joining the class below me. I'm losing my best friends, the backbone of my support system, and I'm jealous that they will be off in rotations and graduate before they know it. I never see them anymore and sometimes it feels like that accentuates the lows. Ultimately though, I know I'm doing the right thing:

Vet school SUCKS. There's no way around that for me. We sit in lecture 40+ hours a week and expect to regurgitate every last detail in the form of filling in little bubbles on an exam sheet 3, 4, 5 times a month, all term long. How is that training for a career? Anyway, that's my opinion that not everyone shares; I'm bitter because I've never been a good student. I'm a procrastinator. I'm a terrible test taker. On the other hand, there are so many of us who thrive with the hands on. And for some of us, hard work is easier to do hands on. Believe me, I know what it's like to be an academic trainwreck, try or not.
But that's just a conglomeration of sh*tty hoops to jump through before the real adventure. Sure, being a vet will certainly have its sucktastic moments as well, but it's NOTHING like school. I'm taking that notion to the heart of my ruminations about school over these next few months of time off. My goal is to work on my personal development and take care of myself so that hopefully I can take a new approach to school. Like my current life is basically one big therapy session. I'm seizing my hobbies by the cojones--I'm making art, I'm learning the violin, I'm working out, I'm visiting my family (my brother is schizophrenic and lives in the next city over)... I've always been told that you are NOT your job, and we as veterinary students are NOT defined solely by our academic lives. It's so important to have a solid sense of self, self love, and a life outside of school.

Anyway, my goal with this post was to reach out and let you know that you are not alone in your struggles. First year was hard, second year was hard, and here I am a third year STILL making faceplants right and left. But what's that silly little graph meme we've all seen--the road to success isn't a straight line or whatever. Albeit cheesy, I think it rings true for vet students especially. It takes a pretty bad*ss person to want this career, and to move the mounts to even get to vet school. Not to mention stomaching all the burdens--financially, emotionally, mentally, job searchely--that come with being a veterinarian today. You got heart and grits, kid. Remember that.

Lastly, to tie up my last point, I want to leave you with a reemphasis of what sasvet said:
I got into vet school so SOMEONE (quite a few people probably) thought I could do it. My ability to take a test isn't indicative of my ability to care for and treat animals appropriately and with empathy

I've had conversations in that flavor with my mother, my vet school mentor, my friends, and even the dean of the school. I don't always believe in myself, but then there's that someone else's belief to fall back on. "YOU CAN DO EEET!!" as Rob Schneider would say.
Take care of yourself first and foremost. And no matter what you decide, be proud of yourself for listening to your needs <3 Good luck!
 
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