I hear you; I think we have different perspectives on the rigor of doctoral education. My view, as mentioned, is that we should have baseline expectations of folks entering doctoral programs, including the ability to devote 4-6 years of one's life to graduate school, which is what is required of the programs that, in my opinion, provide the best training and didactics.
For nontraditional folks, it can be a real challenge to give up one's full-time income and/or give up a lot of family time, definitely. Some folks in my program gave up lucrative or relatively stable full-time jobs to do this work. And a few well-established folks who had a master's or an ed specialist degree dropped out quickly when they got to experience first-hand what kind of commitment they were making and questioned whether it was worth it or the right fit. Others with master's degrees made the sacrifice and got their degree and the training.
Personally, as someone who got my master's degree first in a different program and then went on to get my doctorate, I was HORRIFIED by the poor training I got for my master's degree; just one semester of practicing clinical skills before folks graduate and pursue work in the field with a temporary license. This isn't to say that there aren't great master's programs out there, and I'm assuming mine was one of the worst out there, but it's very concerning how wide-ranging training/didactic experiences can be at the graduate level, which is why I believe that programs that require full-time focus are a safer bet, and by their nature, are harder to get into, but come with more meaningful mentoring.
I just don't believe that folks should get a doctorate "on the side" of practicing or working full-time. I know a professor who struggles in her work with folks who work full-time but are pursuing a graduate degree, saying there is a sense of entitlement ("I've had this life experience and work all the time, so I shouldn't have to focus on classes so heavily or work as hard"). That isn't to say that all folks who work full-time experience that entitlement, but if one devotes 40 hours a week to work outside of the program, what kind of energy is left for focusing in class, writing papers, reading articles/books, research, etc.? I just think it's better for all folks across the board to show commitment by devoting full-time energy to the program. For nontraditional folks, it will be a sacrifice that looks a bit different than younger folks (younger folks have to put off getting settled in careers and marriage/family sometimes, nontraditional students will have to put their current lives on hold and not be able to devote much time to family, etc.), but ultimately, both types of students make sacrifices, and I do think that those willing to make those sacrifices are more prepared for a doctoral education, which takes a high level of follow-through and commitment.