First year med student still won't meet me in person after three months. Should I give up?

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Seegate585

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Is waiting three months for a medical student to meet me in person too long? We live really close to each other.
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Caia said:
There's no back-story. :bored:

So my one-word answer is: yes.
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Sorry. I'll try to keep it as short as possible. We "met" on Tinder three months yesterday. We get along pretty well. We text, Snapchat or talk on the phone everyday. She is attending school in my town. She is what I would considered sheltered. Not sure if this is relevant, but she has only had one relationship. She dated a guy for two years. The last three years have been long distance. She told me that she isn't interested in him anymore because they never talk or see each other. She has also never done anything sexually.
She has been very hesitant to meet me in person. She actually freaked out a little one time when we were talking on the phone and she thought I was about to walk into a restaurant where she was eating. She loves to send pictures to me including a couple of risque' ones recently.
I have been really patient. I have only been pushing her to meet lately. I've been kind of pushy because she had three days off recently and spent them partying. She could have met me. Instead, she sent me pictures and called me late one night. She gets angry and changes the subject if I ask her to meet. I don't want to stress her out. She has a comprehensive final this Thursday and am thinking about asking her one last time after her exam.
 
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sb247 said:
haha....catfished!
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Nope. Not sure if you've used SnapChat before, but it's difficult to fake that. I know where she lives too. I've also checked out her Facebook page and her guy friend's. Adds up.
 
Sounds like she just wants the attention, honestly. There isn't work involved when you can just Internet when you want.

If she doesn't want to meet for coffee after this long, I'd say she isn't worth the time or effort.
 
has "she" asked you to put the lotion in the basket yet?
 
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Caia said:
Sounds like she just wants the attention, honestly. There isn't work involved when you can just Internet when you want.

If she doesn't want to meet for coffee after this long, I'd say she isn't worth the time or effort.
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You're probably right. I keep coming up with excuses for her
 
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Seegate585 said:
You're probably right. I keep coming up with excuses for her. She's too busy, she's confused about her guy friend, she's sheltered. I gotta stop.I initiate almost all the conversations. She told me it's because she's old fashioned, but I'm beginning to think she just likes my attention. I'm going to give it one last shot this Thursday.
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Classic tale of the old fashioned tinder virgins (rolls eyes)
 
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Dump her. She is not worth your time. Seriously, this girl is playing you like an instrument. Maybe if you dump her she'll get turned on by the rejection (as many women do) and then want to meet up. If so, by all means, go for it. But don't play the role of an orphan puppy. I'm not sure what you're doing with your life, but it has to be more worthwhile than this nonsense...
 
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one word: TINDER.
enough said
 
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Yeah I probably wouldn't get invested in that, sounds like she is enjoying your attention but has no intention to bring it any further.
 
Gpan said:
one word: TINDER.
enough said
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Say what you will about Tinder I had a profile on there for a while and the women were HOT HOT HOT! Unfortunately they all rejected me so.....+pity+

Anyway I'm hoping to get back into shape and get back on there!
 
NeedToStudy said:
Say what you will about Tinder I had a profile on there for a while and the women were HOT HOT HOT! Unfortunately they all rejected me so.....+pity+

Anyway I'm hoping to get back into shape and get back on there!
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Not saying the girls on tinder are ugly. I'm saying that tinder = one night stand , most of the time. Although I have heard story of some real relationship generated from tinder. Good luck to you though.
 
Tinder really depends on your location.

Tinder in NYC - :eek:
Tinder in Upperwest :nono:
Tinder in Mexico :love::xf::highfive:
 
Seegate585 said:
Sorry. I'll try to keep it as short as possible. We "met" on Tinder three months yesterday. We get along pretty well. We text, Snapchat or talk on the phone everyday. She is attending school in my town. She is what I would considered sheltered. Not sure if this is relevant, but she has only had one relationship. She dated a guy for two years. The last three years have been long distance. She told me that she isn't interested in him anymore because they never talk or see each other. She has also never done anything sexually.
She has been very hesitant to meet me in person. She actually freaked out a little one time when we were talking on the phone and she thought I was about to walk into a restaurant where she was eating. She loves to send pictures to me including a couple of risque' ones recently.
I have been really patient. I have only been pushing her to meet lately. I've been kind of pushy because she had three days off recently and spent them partying. She could have met me. Instead, she sent me pictures and called me late one night. She gets angry and changes the subject if I ask her to meet. I don't want to stress her out. She has a comprehensive final this Thursday and am thinking about asking her one last time after her exam.
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Find someone else. I purposely avoid getting personal with anyone in medical school for a number of reasons, the biggest being medical students are not much fun to be around. Too many type A personalities in medical school.
 
NeedToStudy said:
Say what you will about Tinder I had a profile on there for a while and the women were HOT HOT HOT! Unfortunately they all rejected me so.....+pity+

Anyway I'm hoping to get back into shape and get back on there!
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I wouldn't let that affect your self confidence.

The vast majority of hot girls are not on tinder to hook up. They're on there for the hell of it, to get attention/compliments or to get more instagram followers. They'll meet up with a guy if he's exceptionally attractive but otherwise they aren't open to adding you to the long list of guys that already text them every 15 minutes. I've seen a couple exceptions to this with tinder and they were both attractive girls who met several guys a week off tinder and had unprotected sex with pretty much every single one (girls I know personally, not via tinder).

A good way to know is to check when they were last online. I've had many cases where the girl stopped going online after we started texting but the vast majority of time they're on there frequently every day. This shows that they're talking to and meeting up with lots of guys frequently.
 
On to the next. Three month? Seriously... C'mon, buddy.
 
There's zero reason for a first year to be this busy. Also, it's the middle of summer, I'm calling BS on her exam. Move along, she's milking you for feels.
 
This is a girl you met on tinder you need to calm down son.

Trust me on this - more likely than not she's just using you as a confidence booster and has no intention of actually meeting you/hooking up. People who are looking to hook up tend to make that obvious sooner than later. And stop pushing her - that's really gonna make her not interested. Enjoy your sexy photos and move on.
 
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The attention and pursuing will also give people inflated senses of self-worth.

OP could have hooked up with (or even dated) a ton of chicks by now.
 
I was going to jump in and defend her, like "3 months, well, that could happen in medicine extenuating circumstances yak yak" but with all this other horsepucky it's totally bogus. Shut her down and make her feel bad about it since it sounds like she was just using you for attention.

It took me and another resident 3 months to set up a date, but that was due to call schedules and we both had night float different months.

Dating and medicine don't mix well.
 
jakeislove said:
The attention and pursuing will also give people inflated senses of self-worth.

OP could have hooked up with (or even dated) a ton of chicks by now.
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The only thing stopping OP from doing that was himself. It's not like she was asking him to be exclusive
 
jakeislove said:
I'd rather believe it was a troll thread than someone being that desperate, LOL!
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I think your vastly overestimating the decision making skills of thirsty dudes.
 
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