Friendship in Med School :)

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

As an undergrad, I am so busy with pre-med stuff that I don't really have time to spend with my friends (correction: I have the time, but my free time doesn't correlate with their free time)

But people say that friends in college are friends for life

So is anyone here who is close friends with their classmates from medical school? (I'm talking backing together through Europe close)

As crazy as it sounds... I'm waiting till med school to have a social life

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[WedgeDawg]

Yes, people (incl. me) make very close friends in medical school, but you don't instantly become a different person just because you're in medical school. If you have found it hard to make friends up through college, that's not going to become magically better just because you go to medical school.

 

[flapjack3d]

I've found that people who blame their loneliness on circumstances stay lonely no matter where (or when) they are.

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

I've found that people who blame their loneliness on circumstances stay lonely no matter where (or when) they are.

I had lots of friends in high school whom I'm still in contact with. So I'm an outlier

 

[El-Rami]

Friends? Medical school? Hahaha!

 

[aalamruad]

Yes, people (incl. me) make very close friends in medical school, but you don't instantly become a different person just because you're in medical school. If you have found it hard to make friends up through college, that's not going to become magically better just because you go to medical school.

To be fair, P&S probably has a much more social environment than most schools

 

[WedgeDawg]

To be fair, P&S probably has a much more social environment than most schools

Friends of mine from college/high school at other schools also have made close friends. Whether they're as close as OP is describing, I am not sure, but med school is not in and of itself a barrier to forging friendships.

 

[Pagan FutureDoc]

Get a social life now, don't wait. Your schedule doesn't mesh with your friends to hang out...find more friends to hang out with.

As for friends in medical school, I don't know if I'd backpack across Europe with any of them...but I've got a small group of close friends in my class. And it seems most everyone I know has a similar group.

 

[bananafish94]

I'm only an M1, but I'm close friends with a few of my classmates. Then there's a much larger group of people that I am friends with but we don't really do anything outside of school. In college I also had a very close group of friends. Make time for your friends! It's important.

 

[libertyyne]

I've found that people who blame their loneliness on circumstances stay lonely no matter where (or when) they are.

You mean my Ebola diagnosis was not to blame. Pls send help I am lonely.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I don't talk to any of my friends from HS (almost 15 years ago now) or college. I'm a non-trad though.

 

[Sardinia]

@LoveBeingHuman:) Check the first page of allopathic.

 

[El-Rami]

In medical school, a lot of people want to be friends with each other, including you. However, everyone soon becomes so busy that we all nervously laugh at the fact that we "have no lives." Most people don't really hang out with friends except when they study together or during breaks (winter break, etc.). The only time people leave their apartments/houses/dorms/whatever is when they have to run errands, go to the gym, go to the library, or go to class. Otherwise, people tend to study literally all day (with maybe a scheduled 1 hour break in the afternoon). There's just no time for going out with friends during a weeknight or sitting down for a few hours just to chat. You could do all of that and preserve your social life, but your grades will suffer. It's actually scary just how easy it is to study less and then fail an exam, even if you were top of your class in college. You either give it your all and study your ass off and do well or study less and fail/barely pass.

 

[studentdocftw]

C'mon man. College is literally the time to expand, make friends, go out, try new things, before medical school ties you down. My best friends are my friends from undergrad, not to say medical school doesn't provide that opportunity, but you have significantly less time to do things together. In fact, I recently met up with some of my college friends and we reminisced for hours...literally hours. That's how many stories/memories we had. You are missing out.

I guess I'm the other side of the coin. I'm a non-trad who could never escape his undergrad group haha.

 

[Turkishking]

As an undergrad, I am so busy with pre-med stuff that I don't really have time to spend with my friends (correction: I have the time, but my free time doesn't correlate with their free time)

But people say that friends in college are friends for life

So is anyone here who is close friends with their classmates from medical school? (I'm talking backing together through Europe close)

As crazy as it sounds... I'm waiting till med school to have a social life

I'm fine with being alone. I get time to think, and do what ever I like without the nagging of others.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

C'mon man. College is literally the time to expand, make friends, go out, try new things, before medical school ties you down. My best friends are my friends from undergrad, not to say medical school doesn't provide that opportunity, but you have significantly less time to do things together. In fact, I recently met up with some of my college friends and we reminisced for hours...literally hours. That's how many stories/memories we had. You are missing out.

I guess I'm the other side of the coin. I'm a non-trad who could never escape his undergrad group haha.

Yeah, I'm a non-trad as well. I don't really get much out of going drinking with people ten plus years younger than me.

 

[Lost In Transcription]

I found you really just have to go out of your way in college to hang out. You'll go crazy otherwise. Not a med student but I imagine it would be the same...

 

[WedgeDawg]

In medical school, a lot of people want to be friends with each other, including you. However, everyone soon becomes so busy that we all nervously laugh at the fact that we "have no lives." Most people don't really hang out with friends except when they study together or during breaks (winter break, etc.). The only time people leave their apartments/houses/dorms/whatever is when they have to run errands, go to the gym, go to the library, or go to class. Otherwise, people tend to study literally all day (with maybe a scheduled 1 hour break in the afternoon). There's just no time for going out with friends during a weeknight or sitting down for a few hours just to chat. You could do all of that and preserve your social life, but your grades will suffer. It's actually scary just how easy it is to study less and then fail an exam, even if you were top of your class in college. You either give it your all and study your ass off and do well or study less and fail/barely pass.

In my experience, this is an exaggeration.

 

[tessellations]

Like everything else in college, it's important to make time for your friends, and it's definitely possible. I'm a junior who has kept my grades up who also does research, volunteer work, and tutoring during the week. It's a lot, but I always make sure to schedule time to hang out with my friends, whether it be more casual plans or through the major student group that I'm a part of.

It's all about balance in college, and I can only imagine that also applies to medical school as well.

 

[DominusAnulorum]

I am actually more social in medical school. You have to make time for it though and you also have to make sure your priorities are in order. Studying will always take precedent, of course, but you need a good balance between studying and relaxing or you will burn out so fast. Generally, I go to class in the morning, study for four hours in the afternoon (or do anatomy lab) and then go to the gym or go out in the evenings. Sometimes things come up, like shadowing or volunteering and obviously if there is a quiz or I am falling behind I will prioritize studying, but having a social life is totally possible. Yes, medical school has more work, but you also learn to be much more efficient with your time. If you study during the week and keep up, its totally possible to go out on Friday and Saturday.

 

[Domepiece]

If your schedule doesn't jive with your current friends, then you either need to commit to altering your schedule/increasing time management skills or make new friends. Although your schedule may seem overwhelming, if you take a good, hard look at your schedule I am sure there are components which can be moved. Even then, what about weekends? Does your schedule literally not allow an hour on weekends to get together with friends? Healthy relationships make a night and day difference in quality of life.

Social schools don't develop in medical school, they need to be nurtured like any other skill. Making new friends in undergrad is purely a numbers game. Chat about the new class with the person sitting next to you in your new class. Chat with someone out at an event your are interested in. Chat with someone in line in at the dining hall if you are still living that fantastic unlimited food lyfe. They aren't all going to be your new best friend, but you sure as hell aren't going to find your new best friend sitting at home or not talking to anyone. Throw yourself out there with reckless abandon and reap the rewards.

 

[girlofgrace7]

No one can really answer this question for you since every person (and every medical school) is so different.

I was not that close to friends in high school (I don't keep in touch with a single one... kinda said "good riddance" when I left high school). I still talk to a few undergrad friends who I was pretty close with. That being said, my closest friends by far were made during medical school, and I know that's the case for many in my med school class outside of my friend group as well. I never went to bars or clubs until medical school, but I went out to them a couple times a month during med school, especially during the first two years where everyone goes out to celebrate together post test. My med school friends were there for me during multiple family tragedies while I was far from home, and I knew they always had my back. We would study together in the library or coffee shops, work out together, go on group camping trips or post-board trips, celebrate birthdays together, and just enjoy each other's company (game nights, movies, sleepovers, museums, the zoo, hockey/baseball/football games, karaoke, scavenger hunts, dinners, cooking/baking together, etc.). Now, we're all spread across the US, but we keep a group chat going and keep in touch other ways. We still crash at each other's places if we visit their cities, and several of us edited each other's personal statements for fellowship. When two of my med school friends just married each other, we all flew in from all over the place to go to the wedding and took some of our vacation time to take a road trip together for a few days.

Of course I'm not encouraging you not to have friends now.... everything is easier with support. However, despite med school being busy, you might find that you have more time than you think. I think it was easier to find good friends during med school because you meet people with similar interests, you're all on the same schedule for the most part in preclinical years, and your only responsibility is really school/studying and not trying to split time between work, multiple volunteering gigs, research, clubs, etc. like high school and undergrad.

 

[Ayy_MadScientist]

As crazy as it sounds... I'm waiting till med school to have a social life

+1 - you're not the only one.

 

[sharkbyte]

I'm an M1, so I've only completed two months of school and I can't really predict how my friendships here will turn out. I agree with the person two posts above who said that each person's experience is different.

I'll just be honest - college was by far the best time of my life. With the exception of a rough year in which I suddenly lost one of my parents and struggled with school, I had an awesome time. College is unique because you not only get to live with your friends and live so close to everyone else but you SHOULD have a lot of free time. I had ~5-6 close friends in college - 3 of my roommates and 3 friends from my pre-med club - and I basically hung out with them pretty much every single day. We studied together, got dinner, played video games, talked and laughed about things late into the night, went to sports games, the local casino, weekend road trips to Vegas, pre-med conferences, bowling, school events, had kickbacks or board game nights, got together to watch the Super Bowl or other big sports games, etc. I remember some weeks of second semester of senior year my friend and I went bowling 3-4 times late at night when the deals were good and then we got late night food at a diner afterward at 2 or 3. Because we could, and it didn't have an adverse impact on our grades because we crammed for the exams and worked hard for a couple of days and did fine

It was incredibly fun and I miss those times. Medical school is very different. I would say I have a few friends and I definitely like my experience so far, but 1) there is a LOT more studying that needs to be done and 2) a lot of people in med school are older and in serious relationships and will leave over the weekend to go visit partners/family/friends. For example, I'm really close to my roommate but he leaves pretty much every weekend to visit his girlfriend, so I feel kind of lonely sometimes. I have a group chat going with two of my college roommates and I talk to two other close college friends every single day. Who knows, maybe my med school friendships will turn out like that too. But yeah, it's a lot different for me.

 

[Avicenna]

I'll be your friend