Frustrating situation working in research lab

[standardstaples]

I really need advice about what to do with my situation interning at a lab at my university...I know it's a lot to read. Please help.

So I've been volunteering in a research lab for almost 1 year. For the past month, the post-doctorate I have been working with has been giving me a lot of attitude. For one thing, whenever I walk into the lab and say hi she just gives me a rude look and says hi in a tone that basically sounds like "uggh, it's you."
The other day, she was teaching me how to calculate something but for whatever reason, I have been having difficulty understanding the thought process behind the calculation, so when I give the wrong answer she says "no" in a really rude tone and it kind of made me feel inadequate and question my intelligence.

Another time, she asked me if I knew how to calculate a basic stoichiometric calculation and I said yes, so she looked at me, said "ok, then do it", threw the pen on the table and walked to her desk. After her behavior, I had a flood of nervousness hit me and I kept questioning whether I had done the calculation right. I did it correctly but I was really scared to call her over to take a look once I finished so we could move on with the experiment.
This constant rude behavior really makes me nervous to ask her a question or give her the wrong answer so I can't think straight, I get in my head, and it just makes everything even harder for me to process.

So I admit this is partly my fault. The past month, I have been making quite a few mistakes in lab because I don't think too clearly about what I am doing. I'm always in a rush to get things done because she sets a plan for me one day and then says "when you come in tomorrow at # time, you'll do this, this and this. Then the next day you do this...etc." All the pressure to get things done just puts me in a "machine mode" where I follow protocols but don't think about the results of each step. For example, there was a time that I should have let my gel run longer before extracting the DNA to get better separation but I just went ahead and went straight to the extraction. It was late night and I was trying to get my tasks for the day done.

I've been putting in over 24 hours a week in this unpaid internship and it's frustrating that she pressures me to get a bunch of tasks done in a day. I originally joined to work a minimum of 9 hrs a week but I would put in about 15 hrs because I wanted to learn more. She just keeps pushing the hours and I really hate coming into lab now. Everyone is so anti-social in this lab too...they don't even say hi to you.

What do I do? I don't want to just leave because that would mean I can't get a letter of recommendation from my PI and all my hard work would go to waste in that aspect. A couple months ago, before all of this started, I also applied for a summer fellowship that would allow me to work in this lab over the summer for pay. I'm really overwhelmed, her behavior makes me feel incapable, and at this point I'm not even sure if my PI would even write a letter of rec for me because I get a feeling that this lab hates pre-med students, even though I work really hard.

Please help!!

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[unstructured]

Consider doing something to lower your anxiety. Exercise, or an anti-anxiety medication.

 

[GummyBeh]

I'm not even sure if my PI would even write a letter of rec for me because I get a feeling that this lab hates pre-med students, even though I work really hard.

If you're planning to stay I think having a heart to heart with the post-doc and PI might help... asking "I've been here a couple of month, I want to become a better researcher, how can I improve?" It might also let her blow off some steam if she's annoyed at you, but you just accept it with grace. Also stop going around announcing I'm a pre-med everywhere.

 

[ZedsDed]

I really need advice about what to do with my situation interning at a lab at my university...I know it's a lot to read. Please help.

So I've been volunteering in a research lab for almost 1 year. For the past month, the post-doctorate I have been working with has been giving me a lot of attitude. For one thing, whenever I walk into the lab and say hi she just gives me a rude look and says hi in a tone that basically sounds like "uggh, it's you."
The other day, she was teaching me how to calculate something but for whatever reason, I have been having difficulty understanding the thought process behind the calculation, so when I give the wrong answer she says "no" in a really rude tone and it kind of made me feel inadequate and question my intelligence.

Another time, she asked me if I knew how to calculate a basic stoichiometric calculation and I said yes, so she looked at me, said "ok, then do it", threw the pen on the table and walked to her desk. After her behavior, I had a flood of nervousness hit me and I kept questioning whether I had done the calculation right. I did it correctly but I was really scared to call her over to take a look once I finished so we could move on with the experiment.
This constant rude behavior really makes me nervous to ask her a question or give her the wrong answer so I can't think straight, I get in my head, and it just makes everything even harder for me to process.

So I admit this is partly my fault. The past month, I have been making quite a few mistakes in lab because I don't think too clearly about what I am doing. I'm always in a rush to get things done because she sets a plan for me one day and then says "when you come in tomorrow at # time, you'll do this, this and this. Then the next day you do this...etc." All the pressure to get things done just puts me in a "machine mode" where I follow protocols but don't think about the results of each step. For example, there was a time that I should have let my gel run longer before extracting the DNA to get better separation but I just went ahead and went straight to the extraction. It was late night and I was trying to get my tasks for the day done.

I've been putting in over 24 hours a week in this unpaid internship and it's frustrating that she pressures me to get a bunch of tasks done in a day. I originally joined to work a minimum of 9 hrs a week but I would put in about 15 hrs because I wanted to learn more. She just keeps pushing the hours and I really hate coming into lab now. Everyone is so anti-social in this lab too...they don't even say hi to you.

What do I do? I don't want to just leave because that would mean I can't get a letter of recommendation from my PI and all my hard work would go to waste in that aspect. A couple months ago, before all of this started, I also applied for a summer fellowship that would allow me to work in this lab over the summer for pay. I'm really overwhelmed, her behavior makes me feel incapable, and at this point I'm not even sure if my PI would even write a letter of rec for me because I get a feeling that this lab hates pre-med students, even though I work really hard.

Please help!!

What you described is not unusual. Many labs are like this. I would just suck it up and power through. I doubt your supervisor even thinks she is giving off an attitude.

 

[standardstaples]

If you're planning to stay I think having a heart to heart with the post-doc and PI might help... asking "I've been here a couple of month, I want to become a better researcher, how can I improve?" It might also let her blow off some steam if she's annoyed at you, but you just accept it with grace. Also stop going around announcing I'm a pre-med everywhere.

They think I am still deciding between medicine and research...and I just roll with that.

I was thinking of asking my post-doc if we could talk in private next week. We both aren't happy so maybe we can come toa solution...

 

[GrapesofRath]

What you described is not unusual. Many labs are like this. I would just suck it up and power through. I doubt your supervisor even thinks she is giving off an attitude.

I do kind of agree with this. But here are some other things to think about.

You have to first ask yourself do you know what you are really doing in these protocols and on what shes giving you to do? Do you actually have an understanding of what's going on or are you just following protocols; because saying something like I'm making mistakes because I don't think too clearly about what I am doing is a bit of a red flag.

You seriously have to ask yourself, what is the purpose of your project and what's the plan involving it going forward? Is this something that you've discussed that will lead to part of a publication; do you specifically know what all you need to accomplish doing this project and what it will take to get enough to submit a manuscript for publication? Now if you don't know the answers to these questions.......that's a problem right there and you have to figure that out.

The other important question here is has this poor relationship issue just a thing that has popped up in the past month and gotten worse due to your mistakes? OR has it always been an issue and only gotten worse because of your mistakes? If the relationship is bad and now you are struggling and haven't really gotten any significant data yet and more just learned the techniques, then I would recommend really talking with your post doc and your PI if necessary to have an understanding of what's expected of you, get an idea of how they view you, and what they think of you going forward. If this does not go well and you see more issues on the horizon and you don't think you are close to acquiring significant data, it's time to consider all options and at least consider the possibility of considering moving on.

These things are what you have to think about because this is what will determine whether it's worth staying in this lab. If this bad relationship is going to inhibit how much you can produce in terms of data and chances of getting in a publication going forward and obtaining a strong rec letter, it's worth at least seeing if you can find a better option. Yes, you'll be starting over but alot of these techniques carry over from one lab to the next so if you screwed up say a Western Blot in your old lab hopefully you can learn from that in a new lab. I was in a position in this in the past and ended up leaving my lab and it was the best decision I ever made. So maybe I'm jumping the gun here a bit but you at the very least need to evaluate yourself, what you are doing in the lab and where it can lead, and what caused your relationship to deteriorate. It might just be a thing that happens like it does in alot of labs like @ZedsDed said but the last thing you want is to be here another year and have these issues continue to flair and you end up in a situation where you worked in a lab for 2 years with nothing to show for it and a relationship that might even make getting a rec letter hard.

 

[ZedsDed]

They think I am still deciding between medicine and research...and I just roll with that.

I was thinking of asking my post-doc if we could talk in private next week. We both aren't happy so maybe we can come toa solution...

How do you know she's not happy? How long have you worked in a lab? Do you know what the difference is between a stressed and serious scientist and an unprofessional one? Again, everything you described seems pretty standard. You might come across as whining.

 

[ZedsDed]

I do kind of agree with this. But here are some other things to think about.

You have to first ask yourself do you know what you are really doing in these protocols and on what shes giving you to do? Do you actually have an understanding of what's going on or are you just following protocols; because saying something like I'm making mistakes because I don't think too clearly about what I am doing is a bit of a red flag.

You seriously have to ask yourself, what is the purpose of your project and what's the plan involving it going forward? Is this something that you've discussed that will lead to part of a publication; do you specifically know what all you need to accomplish doing this project and what it will take to get enough to submit a manuscript for publication? Now if you don't know the answers to these questions.......that's a problem right there and you have to figure that out.

The other important question here is has this poor relationship issue just a thing that has popped up in the past month and gotten worse due to your mistakes? OR has it always been an issue and only gotten worse because of your mistakes? If the relationship is bad and now you are struggling and haven't really gotten any significant data yet and more just learned the techniques, then I would recommend really talking with your post doc and your PI if necessary to have an understanding of what's expected of you, get an idea of how they view you, and what they think of you going forward. If this does not go well and you see more issues on the horizon and you don't think you are close to acquiring significant data, it's time to consider all options and at least consider the possibility of considering moving on.

These things are what you have to think about because this is what will determine whether it's worth staying in this lab. If this bad relationship is going to inhibit how much you can produce in terms of data and chances of getting in a publication going forward and obtaining a strong rec letter, it's worth at least seeing if you can find a better option. Yes, you'll be starting over but alot of these techniques carry over from one lab to the next so if you screwed up say a Western Blot in your old lab hopefully you can learn from that in a new lab. I was in a position in this in the past and ended up leaving my lab and it was the best decision I ever made. So maybe I'm jumping the gun here a bit but you at the very least need to evaluate yourself, what you are doing in the lab and where it can lead, and what caused your relationship to deteriorate. It might just be a thing that happens like it does in alot of labs like @ZedsDed said but the last thing you want is to be here another year and have these issues continue to flair and you end up in a situation where you worked in a lab for 2 years with nothing to show for it and a relationship that might even make getting a rec letter hard.

I agree that OP should foster a relationship that will prove fruitful.

 

[standardstaples]

I do kind of agree with this. But here are some other things to think about.

You have to first ask yourself do you know what you are really doing in these protocols and on what shes giving you to do? Do you actually have an understanding of what's going on or are you just following protocols; because saying something like I'm making mistakes because I don't think too clearly about what I am doing is a bit of a red flag.

You seriously have to ask yourself, what is the purpose of your project and what's the plan involving it going forward? Is this something that you've discussed that will lead to part of a publication; do you specifically know what all you need to accomplish doing this project and what it will take to get enough to submit a manuscript for publication? Now if you don't know the answers to these questions.......that's a problem right there and you have to figure that out.

The other important question here is has this poor relationship issue just a thing that has popped up in the past month and gotten worse due to your mistakes? OR has it always been an issue and only gotten worse because of your mistakes? If the relationship is bad and now you are struggling and haven't really gotten any significant data yet and more just learned the techniques, then I would recommend really talking with your post doc and your PI if necessary to have an understanding of what's expected of you, get an idea of how they view you, and what they think of you going forward. If this does not go well and you see more issues on the horizon and you don't think you are close to acquiring significant data, it's time to consider all options and at least consider the possibility of considering moving on.

These things are what you have to think about because this is what will determine whether it's worth staying in this lab. If this bad relationship is going to inhibit how much you can produce in terms of data and chances of getting in a publication going forward and obtaining a strong rec letter, it's worth at least seeing if you can find a better option. Yes, you'll be starting over but alot of these techniques carry over from one lab to the next so if you screwed up say a Western Blot in your old lab hopefully you can learn from that in a new lab. I was in a position in this in the past and ended up leaving my lab and it was the best decision I ever made. So maybe I'm jumping the gun here a bit but you at the very least need to evaluate yourself, what you are doing in the lab and where it can lead, and what caused your relationship to deteriorate. It might just be a thing that happens like it does in alot of labs like @ZedsDed said but the last thing you want is to be here another year and have these issues continue to flair and you end up in a situation where you worked in a lab for 2 years with nothing to show for it and a relationship that might even make getting a rec letter hard.

Thanks! Fortunately, I started off the first 7 months really strong. I actually made a lot of progress and got a lot of new data during that time. The first month or two was slow since I had no idea what i Was doing but I really made considerable progress once I got the hang of it all. At some point, the lab started calling me "the cloning machine" because I kept getting great new results and data. Everyone was actually impressed with me. It's just the past month and a half that has been noticeably bad. I think my stupidest mistake was just that I ran DNA on a gel, took an image of it and KNEW that it didn't look right, but continued to gel purify it. I don't even know why I did that. It was late night and my post-doc seemed to be waiting for me (even though she could have just left) so I felt pressured to just get things done. I get the impression that she's not there to mentor me anymore and she just wants to pull results out of me for her project...

 

[standardstaples]

How do you know she's not happy? How long have you worked in a lab? Do you know what the difference is between a stressed and serious scientist and an unprofessional one? Again, everything you described seems pretty standard. You might come across as whining.

I know she's frustrated. I talked to another post-doc in the lab who's friends with my post-doc mentor and kindly asked if she was OK. I was really professional and showed genuine concern for my post-doc. It might not have been a good idea but I really want to make improvements and didn't where to start. I did say that "I know she's frustrated with me so I am trying to do my best to give her space and make improvements." and the response confirmed exactly what I said. The friend said that "This project is like her baby so she just wants to see things go smoothly."

But i mean, the post-doc did design the primers for the experiment incorrectly in the beginning and had to reorder them. I caught her mistake but when experiments weren't working with the incorrect primers she thought it was my fault...

 

[GrapesofRath]

Thanks! Fortunately, I started off the first 7 months really strong. I actually made a lot of progress and got a lot of new data during that time. The first month or two was slow since I had no idea what i Was doing but I really made considerable progress once I got the hang of it all. At some point, the lab started calling me "the cloning machine" because I kept getting great new results and data. Everyone was actually impressed with me. It's just the past month and a half that has been noticeably bad. I think my stupidest mistake was just that I ran DNA on a gel, took an image of it and KNEW that it didn't look right, but continued to gel purify it. I don't even know why I did that. It was late night and my post-doc seemed to be waiting for me (even though she could have just left) so I felt pressured to just get things done. I get the impression that she's not there to mentor me anymore and she just wants to pull results out of me for her project...

If you know what you are doing and can produce results, even if the relationship ends up being less than ideal and this isn't just some blip of her being super passionate and overprotective of her project and it not getting screwed up, I would still probably stick in the lab. You probably are on track to get in a paper if you keep doing good work and producing results you should be fine and it's likely unless you really do something to make the relationship worse you'll stick get a solid letter from them if you did enough that you were in a paper even if you had some somewhat rocky moments(I'm speaking from experience here with me and others I know again take it as you will nothing is guaranteed but my overall advice is the same).

 

[GummyBeh]

I've been putting in over 24 hours a week in this unpaid internship and it's frustrating that she pressures me to get a bunch of tasks done in a day. I originally joined to work a minimum of 9 hrs a week but I would put in about 15 hrs because I wanted to learn more. She just keeps pushing the hours and I really hate coming into lab now.

In addition to the comments above, I have to add though... you have to make your boundaries clear, you are a student after-all and you don't want your school to suffer. Which if why I think it's critical to establish good relationships despite what people say above, because good results and papers are not a guarantee.

Also just to test the waters, apply for something now, anything... a minor scholarship, something small and ask them for letters of reference. See how they react.

 

[standardstaples]

In addition to the comments above, I have to add though... you have to make your boundaries clear, you are a student after-all and you don't want your school to suffer. Which if why I think it's critical to establish good relationships despite what people say above, because good results and papers are not a guarantee.

Also just to test the waters, apply for something now, anything... a minor scholarship, something small and ask them for letters of reference. See how they react.

They wrote a letter for the fellowship I applied for to get compensation to work during the summer. But me working in the summer also benefits the lab. So they'll write a letter, I just don't know if they would write one for medical school.

 

[StudyLater]

So I've been volunteering in a research lab for almost 1 year. For the past month, the post-doctorate I have been working with has been giving me a lot of attitude. For one thing, whenever I walk into the lab and say hi she just gives me a rude look and says hi in a tone that basically sounds like "uggh, it's you.

It's pretty normal to get attitude from at least some of the "higher ups," unfortunately, in nearly any line of work. Assuming you're not taking the "tone" of the "hi" out of context (and maybe it's just a bad day/she's tired), then just shrug it off. Or get another job. But also think about this: how often are you there? Maybe you are just frequently seeing her on her pissed-off times, and not seeing her when she is happy/relaxed. It's possible, right? As a UG, I'm assuming you probably don't do >20hrs a week? Some UG's I know do <10. That is nothing for the lab environment. These guys put in ~50-55hrs a week; they're essentially living together. For some of that time, they won't be nice to each other; for other parts of that time, they're the best of friends. There's swings like that in every work environment.

The other day, she was teaching me how to calculate something but for whatever reason, I have been having difficulty understanding the thought process behind the calculation, so when I give the wrong answer she says "no" in a really rude tone and it kind of made me feel inadequate and question my intelligence.

Ok, there's two perspectives here and you need to understand that both exist: neither is right nor wrong inherently, but the overarching idea you need to get is that whichever perspective is that of your authority figure, you go with that if you want to keep your job. You're looking at it from what one might call the layman's perspective. So say this were a movie and this scene were happening as you have constructed it for us - the average guy would be like "yeah, that postdoc is a total b*tch, I can't believe this person is putting up with this." Fair enough - that is one perspective. But, the other perspective, and the more difficult one to take on, is that of the postdoc. You're not that person - you don't know her obligations, problems, etc. that are stressing her out at any given time. She may end up being, as a result of these things, a completely different person in the lab than she actually wants to be when normally interacting with people, just because she's constantly in adrenaline mode trying to meet deadlines/get things done. It is extremely helpful for her, and for yourself (again, if you care about keeping the job, which you don't have to care about, mind you), that you understand her perspective and be as forgiving as you possibly can, despite what might be perceived by a layman as simple, unrefined meanness.

Another thing to consider with this, which I've been thinking about more and more lately: why do you think we are essentialy required by med schools to be in this sort of environment before going into studying medicine? I can think of a lot of reasons: you're thrust into an environment with people you don't know, and you have to construct a relationship with them that allows for fluid teamwork. You also have to be able to handle their various personalities and be sensitive to the difficulties that they face, so that you can get through the rough times when they are essentially mistreating you. Then, through all this, you must strive constantly to be as useful as possible to everyone, and to keep learning and gaining experience through completion of a variety of projects.

Another time, she asked me if I knew how to calculate a basic stoichiometric calculation and I said yes, so she looked at me, said "ok, then do it", threw the pen on the table and walked to her desk. After her behavior, I had a flood of nervousness hit me and I kept questioning whether I had done the calculation right. I did it correctly but I was really scared to call her over to take a look once I finished so we could move on with the experiment.
This constant rude behavior really makes me nervous to ask her a question or give her the wrong answer so I can't think straight, I get in my head, and it just makes everything even harder for me to process.

Ah yeah, the "flood of nervousness." I wish I could tell you it'll pass...but trust me, it rears it's ugly head constantly in this environment. That's just how it is. I can tell you, though, that you'll get better at being able to handle it. And as you gain more experience, you should inherently make fewer mistakes (at this basic stuff, I mean) and therefore be less likely to doubt yourself.

So I admit this is partly my fault. The past month, I have been making quite a few mistakes in lab because I don't think too clearly about what I am doing. I'm always in a rush to get things done because she sets a plan for me one day and then says "when you come in tomorrow at # time, you'll do this, this and this. Then the next day you do this...etc." All the pressure to get things done just puts me in a "machine mode" where I follow protocols but don't think about the results of each step. For example, there was a time that I should have let my gel run longer before extracting the DNA to get better separation but I just went ahead and went straight to the extraction. It was late night and I was trying to get my tasks for the day done.

Normal. Post-docs get so removed from what it's like to be a beginner (think about it, they're ~6-8 years away from that now) that they think everyone is on their level and simply forget that this person is not an idiot, it's just that he/she's still pretty new to all of this. You're still a baby at one year. Better than incoming UG's, sure, but still a baby compared to them. It's not you're responsibility to be on their level. Otherwise, why wouldn't they just use unpaid UG's for all the work? It is, however, your responsibility to learn and do what they set before you.

I've been putting in over 24 hours a week in this unpaid internship and it's frustrating that she pressures me to get a bunch of tasks done in a day. I originally joined to work a minimum of 9 hrs a week but I would put in about 15 hrs because I wanted to learn more. She just keeps pushing the hours and I really hate coming into lab now. Everyone is so anti-social in this lab too...they don't even say hi to you.

24 isn't terrible, but it is getting on the high side for a UG. If it's cutting into other, more important things, you need to lay down the law and say you need to restrict yourself to X amount of hours. See, the problem with these guys is they are in a completely different world from you. You cross into it as a requirement to go into a completely different career that they don't really understand or give a flying f*ck about. When you're in there, everything is about what needs to get done, in there. And that takes however long it needs to take. You have to understand they are not thinking about your career goals, and what limits you need to place on yourself because of that - they are thinking about the job at hand. This is full time work for them, and as a result it's inherently strange to have someone coming in to do a quasi-internship only for the sake of eventually being able to leave and go do a different career. The whole thing is slightly awkward, because it makes it difficult for a UG to really put in their all into the lab (which is obviously what the PI, in an ideal world, would like to see). And therefore, the UG can't be as much a part of the lab as anyone else, so there is certainly a disconnect there which creates strange social consequences. In any case, you've got to set your limits, but you can't let that limit your usefulness while you are there.

As far as being antisocial, it depends on how you look at it: like I said, these guys are essentially living together. Do you say "hi" to someone you're living with every time they come through the door, and "bye" every time they leave? Maybe you do, but the point I'm making is not everyone does, and apparently the people you're working with don't either. Also consider that they may be too absorbed in what they're doing to humor the normal social customs that would satisfy a more extroverted person such as yourself. In short, don't take it personally - it's just their way of doing things. When in Rome, you know?

What do I do? I don't want to just leave because that would mean I can't get a letter of recommendation from my PI and all my hard work would go to waste in that aspect. A couple months ago, before all of this started, I also applied for a summer fellowship that would allow me to work in this lab over the summer for pay. I'm really overwhelmed, her behavior makes me feel incapable, and at this point I'm not even sure if my PI would even write a letter of rec for me because I get a feeling that this lab hates pre-med students, even though I work really hard.

Let's get something straight. You're there to receive the experience and have something to talk about on your app, and to potentially get a rec from the PI. Note, however, that you don't have to get a rec from your PI. Plenty don't. You can get a rec from 3 profs whose classes you did well in and that can be that for the LORs. The main thing with research is to say you did X amount of time, and here is how it affected you and how it has helped you develop the skills that will be beneficial in practicing medicine (some of which I listed above). It's require by many MD schools, so there's no real way to get around that. But the main thing is to put in the time and get as much out of the experience as you possibly can.

Also, you haven't really mentioned much about your PI, who would be the main person whose "behavior" you might have to care about (if you really wanna get the LOR from him/her). Do you often talk to your PI? What sort of feeling do you get about the PI him/herself? Do you feel you have a good relationship with the PI? If the answers are "No, a bad one, and no" then don't get a letter. It's that simple. However, I wonder how you ended up getting paid. Did your PI have anything to do with it? If so, that would indicate your PI has positive feelings about you and your abilities, and really sees you as a capable individual. That's good, really good, because then this person could definitely be a great LOR writer.

The overall idea you need to take away from this on the postdoc thing is this: you can get through it, if you really want to, or you can leave. But you should really note that you don't necessarily have to care what your postdoc thinks. She is simply another person in your life that you are working with, nothing more. Your relationship with this person can be entirely neutral, you can be the best of friends, or you can (not ideally) be enemies that work together. It doesn't necessarily matter, as long as the PI thinks well of you. He/she is the one who matters to you the most for an LOR, and if he/she is happy, you should be. Even when you're getting the rude remarks, you can know that no meanness from this postdoc can affect you. And then you don't have to be nervous anymore. Best of luck.

 

[Goro]

You immediately go talk to the PI and get this resolved in a three way conversation.

You will also, starting on Tuesday, cut back on your hours in the lab.

No lab experience should be toxic.

Now, on your end, be more responsible and work more diligently, and focus on what you're doing. No one is going to cure cancer in a day.

I really need advice about what to do with my situation interning at a lab at my university...I know it's a lot to read. Please help.

So I've been volunteering in a research lab for almost 1 year. For the past month, the post-doctorate I have been working with has been giving me a lot of attitude. For one thing, whenever I walk into the lab and say hi she just gives me a rude look and says hi in a tone that basically sounds like "uggh, it's you."
The other day, she was teaching me how to calculate something but for whatever reason, I have been having difficulty understanding the thought process behind the calculation, so when I give the wrong answer she says "no" in a really rude tone and it kind of made me feel inadequate and question my intelligence.

Another time, she asked me if I knew how to calculate a basic stoichiometric calculation and I said yes, so she looked at me, said "ok, then do it", threw the pen on the table and walked to her desk. After her behavior, I had a flood of nervousness hit me and I kept questioning whether I had done the calculation right. I did it correctly but I was really scared to call her over to take a look once I finished so we could move on with the experiment.
This constant rude behavior really makes me nervous to ask her a question or give her the wrong answer so I can't think straight, I get in my head, and it just makes everything even harder for me to process.

So I admit this is partly my fault. The past month, I have been making quite a few mistakes in lab because I don't think too clearly about what I am doing. I'm always in a rush to get things done because she sets a plan for me one day and then says "when you come in tomorrow at # time, you'll do this, this and this. Then the next day you do this...etc." All the pressure to get things done just puts me in a "machine mode" where I follow protocols but don't think about the results of each step. For example, there was a time that I should have let my gel run longer before extracting the DNA to get better separation but I just went ahead and went straight to the extraction. It was late night and I was trying to get my tasks for the day done.

I've been putting in over 24 hours a week in this unpaid internship and it's frustrating that she pressures me to get a bunch of tasks done in a day. I originally joined to work a minimum of 9 hrs a week but I would put in about 15 hrs because I wanted to learn more. She just keeps pushing the hours and I really hate coming into lab now. Everyone is so anti-social in this lab too...they don't even say hi to you.

What do I do? I don't want to just leave because that would mean I can't get a letter of recommendation from my PI and all my hard work would go to waste in that aspect. A couple months ago, before all of this started, I also applied for a summer fellowship that would allow me to work in this lab over the summer for pay. I'm really overwhelmed, her behavior makes me feel incapable, and at this point I'm not even sure if my PI would even write a letter of rec for me because I get a feeling that this lab hates pre-med students, even though I work really hard.

Please help!!

 

[standardstaples]

It's pretty normal to get attitude from at least some of the "higher ups," unfortunately, in nearly any line of work. Assuming you're not taking the "tone" of the "hi" out of context (and maybe it's just a bad day/she's tired), then just shrug it off. Or get another job. But also think about this: how often are you there? Maybe you are just frequently seeing her on her pissed-off times, and not seeing her when she is happy/relaxed. It's possible, right? As a UG, I'm assuming you probably don't do >20hrs a week? Some UG's I know do <10. That is nothing for the lab environment. These guys put in ~50-55hrs a week; they're essentially living together. For some of that time, they won't be nice to each other; for other parts of that time, they're the best of friends. There's swings like that in every work environment.



Ok, there's two perspectives here and you need to understand that both exist: neither is right nor wrong inherently, but the overarching idea you need to get is that whichever perspective is that of your authority figure, you go with that if you want to keep your job. You're looking at it from what one might call the layman's perspective. So say this were a movie and this scene were happening as you have constructed it for us - the average guy would be like "yeah, that postdoc is a total b*tch, I can't believe this person is putting up with this." Fair enough - that is one perspective. But, the other perspective, and the more difficult one to take on, is that of the postdoc. You're not that person - you don't know her obligations, problems, etc. that are stressing her out at any given time. She may end up being, as a result of these things, a completely different person in the lab than she actually wants to be when normally interacting with people, just because she's constantly in adrenaline mode trying to meet deadlines/get things done. It is extremely helpful for her, and for yourself (again, if you care about keeping the job, which you don't have to care about, mind you), that you understand her perspective and be as forgiving as you possibly can, despite what might be perceived by a layman as simple, unrefined meanness.

Another thing to consider with this, which I've been thinking about more and more lately: why do you think we are essentialy required by med schools to be in this sort of environment before going into studying medicine? I can think of a lot of reasons: you're thrust into an environment with people you don't know, and you have to construct a relationship with them that allows for fluid teamwork. You also have to be able to handle their various personalities and be sensitive to the difficulties that they face, so that you can get through the rough times when they are essentially mistreating you. Then, through all this, you must strive constantly to be as useful as possible to everyone, and to keep learning and gaining experience through completion of a variety of projects.





Ah yeah, the "flood of nervousness." I wish I could tell you it'll pass...but trust me, it rears it's ugly head constantly in this environment. That's just how it is. I can tell you, though, that you'll get better at being able to handle it. And as you gain more experience, you should inherently make fewer mistakes (at this basic stuff, I mean) and therefore be less likely to doubt yourself.



Normal. Post-docs get so removed from what it's like to be a beginner (think about it, they're ~6-8 years away from that now) that they think everyone is on their level and simply forget that this person is not an idiot, it's just that he/she's still pretty new to all of this. You're still a baby at one year. Better than incoming UG's, sure, but still a baby compared to them. It's not you're responsibility to be on their level. Otherwise, why wouldn't they just use unpaid UG's for all the work? It is, however, your responsibility to learn and do what they set before you.



24 isn't terrible, but it is getting on the high side for a UG. If it's cutting into other, more important things, you need to lay down the law and say you need to restrict yourself to X amount of hours. See, the problem with these guys is they are in a completely different world from you. You cross into it as a requirement to go into a completely different career that they don't really understand or give a flying f*ck about. When you're in there, everything is about what needs to get done, in there. And that takes however long it needs to take. You have to understand they are not thinking about your career goals, and what limits you need to place on yourself because of that - they are thinking about the job at hand. This is full time work for them, and as a result it's inherently strange to have someone coming in to do a quasi-internship only for the sake of eventually being able to leave and go do a different career. The whole thing is slightly awkward, because it makes it difficult for a UG to really put in their all into the lab (which is obviously what the PI, in an ideal world, would like to see). And therefore, the UG can't be as much a part of the lab as anyone else, so there is certainly a disconnect there which creates strange social consequences. In any case, you've got to set your limits, but you can't let that limit your usefulness while you are there.

As far as being antisocial, it depends on how you look at it: like I said, these guys are essentially living together. Do you say "hi" to someone you're living with every time they come through the door, and "bye" every time they leave? Maybe you do, but the point I'm making is not everyone does, and apparently the people you're working with don't either. Also consider that they may be too absorbed in what they're doing to humor the normal social customs that would satisfy a more extroverted person such as yourself. In short, don't take it personally - it's just their way of doing things. When in Rome, you know?



Let's get something straight. You're there to receive the experience and have something to talk about on your app, and to potentially get a rec from the PI. Note, however, that you don't have to get a rec from your PI. Plenty don't. You can get a rec from 3 profs whose classes you did well in and that can be that for the LORs. The main thing with research is to say you did X amount of time, and here is how it affected you and how it has helped you develop the skills that will be beneficial in practicing medicine (some of which I listed above). It's require by many MD schools, so there's no real way to get around that. But the main thing is to put in the time and get as much out of the experience as you possibly can.

Also, you haven't really mentioned much about your PI, who would be the main person whose "behavior" you might have to care about (if you really wanna get the LOR from him/her). Do you often talk to your PI? What sort of feeling do you get about the PI him/herself? Do you feel you have a good relationship with the PI? If the answers are "No, a bad one, and no" then don't get a letter. It's that simple. However, I wonder how you ended up getting paid. Did your PI have anything to do with it? If so, that would indicate your PI has positive feelings about you and your abilities, and really sees you as a capable individual. That's good, really good, because then this person could definitely be a great LOR writer.

The overall idea you need to take away from this on the postdoc thing is this: you can get through it, if you really want to, or you can leave. But you should really note that you don't necessarily have to care what your postdoc thinks. She is simply another person in your life that you are working with, nothing more. Your relationship with this person can be entirely neutral, you can be the best of friends, or you can (not ideally) be enemies that work together. It doesn't necessarily matter, as long as the PI thinks well of you. He/she is the one who matters to you the most for an LOR, and if he/she is happy, you should be. Even when you're getting the rude remarks, you can know that no meanness from this postdoc can affect you. And then you don't have to be nervous anymore. Best of luck.

Thank you! All of this really helped just remove some of my anger and frustration towards her and the lab.

I just can't understood why it's so difficult for people to say hello when you see them for the first time during a day. I guess I just believe a simple "hello" or "good morning" is incredibly powerful. It basically tells the other person "I acknowledge your presence today" regardless of your relationship with them. Don't even need to have a conversation. I guess it's just a different culture that I need to get used to. Every professional environment i've worked in emphasized proper greetings so this new environment is just out of the ordinary for me.

 

[standardstaples]

You immediately go talk to the PI and get this resolved in a three way conversation.

You will also, starting on Tuesday, cut back on your hours in the lab.

No lab experience should be toxic.

Now, on your end, be more responsible and work more diligently, and focus on what you're doing. No one is going to cure cancer in a day.

I imagine dragging the PI into this would make my post-doc incredibly uncomfortable and potentially cause her to resent me.
But I am starting to think that maybe I should just take my time and focus more on what I am doing and basically just tell her that if I don't get all the tasks done that she wanted me for that day, I would just tell her that I decided to slow down and take my time to insure that everything goes smoothly...

 

[Goro]

The post-doc already resents you, and is making your life miserable because she's either sadistic, or unprofessional or fed up to a pathological level with your mistakes. But mistakes are part of research!

I repeat: You're in the lab gaining experience in the scientific process. It's not a suicide pact.

Go talk to the PI!

I imagine dragging the PI into this would make my post-doc incredibly uncomfortable and potentially cause her to resent me.
But I am starting to think that maybe I should just take my time and focus more on what I am doing and basically just tell her that if I don't get all the tasks done that she wanted me for that day, I would just tell her that I decided to slow down and take my time to insure that everything goes smoothly...

 

[StudyLater]

Thank you! All of this really helped just remove some of my anger and frustration towards her and the lab.

I just can't understood why it's so difficult for people to say hello when you see them for the first time during a day. I guess I just believe a simple "hello" or "good morning" is incredibly powerful. It basically tells the other person "I acknowledge your presence today" regardless of your relationship with them. Don't even need to have a conversation. I guess it's just a different culture that I need to get used to. Every professional environment i've worked in emphasized proper greetings so this new environment is just out of the ordinary for me.

Glad that cleared things up for you. It's really liberating to know you don't necessarily have a stake in all this, but regardless you want to do your best just for the sake of helping out the people you work with. Simultaneously, you get experience, and I think if your PI sees you really trying and being friendly with the others, he/she must have a good opinion of you, meaning your PI becomes an LOR possible. Best advice I can give is don't overstress the lab, but take the work seriously, and it can actually end up being more like a fun challenge than undesirable busy work.

 

[NeuResurgens]

First: make sure to learn the protocols for your lab, preferably outside the lab where you don't feel pressured and can really focus on it.

Second: Talk with the post-doc and just explain yourself, ask what you need to improve/what you've been doing wrong and correct that (even if you disagree with it). Even if a lot of this isn't your fault, when you're dealing with superiors, sometimes you need to take responsibility for things. And maybe, you'll learn that you actually were doing something (or some things) wrong.

Third: If this doesn't help, talk to your PI about the situation.

Regardless, you shouldn't be working in there this much if it's stressing you out this badly. Take some hours off.

 

[standardstaples]

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to comment and to provide perspective. I have a better understanding of the situation now, and much of my anger and frustration towards the situation has been relieved.

 

[beeboops]

I was in a similar situation to you, and it resulted in my relationships with my PI and the other lab members completely deteriorating, which was horrible for me both professionally and personally/emotionally. No one should ever make you feel the way you describe. I don't care whether "that's the way labs are" or if it sounds like you're whining - no one should have to dread going into lab because someone there makes them feel useless and question their worth. Talk to your PI about the situation, being careful not to place blame on the postdoc for your mistakes. Recognize that you have made mistakes and commit to rectifying them. If your PI does not speak to the postdoc about this situation or does nothing to help alleviate it in anyway, you need to move on from the lab, even if it means potentially giving up a recommendation letter. My lab was also unfriendly to pre-meds, so I think not getting a letter from my PI was beneficial in the long run. If you have to leave the lab, pursue something else that you'll enjoy that you can put on your apps (volunteering, clinical or non-clinical; getting involved in a student organization; whatever). I hope you get this all resolved. Having been in a similar situation, I can understand how you're feeling, and I know it's not great. Let us know how it turns out and come back if you need anymore advice!

 

[standardstaples]

I was in a similar situation to you, and it resulted in my relationships with my PI and the other lab members completely deteriorating, which was horrible for me both professionally and personally/emotionally. No one should ever make you feel the way you describe. I don't care whether "that's the way labs are" or if it sounds like you're whining - no one should have to dread going into lab because someone there makes them feel useless and question their worth. Talk to your PI about the situation, being careful not to place blame on the postdoc for your mistakes. Recognize that you have made mistakes and commit to rectifying them. If your PI does not speak to the postdoc about this situation or does nothing to help alleviate it in anyway, you need to move on from the lab, even if it means potentially giving up a recommendation letter. My lab was also unfriendly to pre-meds, so I think not getting a letter from my PI was beneficial in the long run. If you have to leave the lab, pursue something else that you'll enjoy that you can put on your apps (volunteering, clinical or non-clinical; getting involved in a student organization; whatever). I hope you get this all resolved. Having been in a similar situation, I can understand how you're feeling, and I know it's not great. Let us know how it turns out and come back if you need anymore advice!

If I wanted to have a one-on-one talk with my PI in a manner that you mentioned (emphasizing my faults and not placing blame on the postdoc), should I set an appointment up with her in person or by email ? The PI always seems busy and she's very intimidating compared to other PIs I have spoken to, so I'm not sure what would be the most professional way to approach her.

 

[electrophile1984]

I get the impression that she's not there to mentor me anymore and she just wants to pull results out of me for her project...

I was in a similar situation as you.

I applied to a research lab about 2 years ago as an unpaid intern. I was honest with the lab about my abilities (never worked in a research lab), as well as the time I could provide (20 hours a week in the lab itself). It is a renowned lab, at least in it's own circles. I started working, but the person whose project I was working on was unwilling to teach, got frustrated easily, etc. The turnover during my time there was pretty wild - I was there 20 weeks and 4 people left out of a 15 person lab.

At the end of the 20 weeks I stopped because I got tired of being used as a scapegoat, and they wanted me to devote even more time (unpaid) to the lab.

If your PI is sympathetic, talk to them. If they have similar attitudes as the person who you have been working with....I'm sorry.

 

[GrapesofRath]

If I wanted to have a one-on-one talk with my PI in a manner that you mentioned (emphasizing my faults and not placing blame on the postdoc), should I set an appointment up with her in person or by email ? The PI always seems busy and she's very intimidating compared to other PIs I have spoken to, so I'm not sure what would be the most professional way to approach her.

I've thought a decent amount this thread particularly since I was in this situation at one point. Part of it is me thinking how maybe I could have handled my situation better haha but anyway I've spent enough time on this. So after reflecting here's what I would do.

I don't think I would call any meeting with anybody---PI postdoc anybody as of now. As @ZedsDed said, there's no way to emphasize how stressful research can be for post-docs for certain stretches. I've seen people's personalities change for weeks at a time and a particular by product of this stress is having less tolerance for mistakes, particularly undergrad mistakes and undergrads who are slow to pick up on things(which I'm not justifying I'm just stating based off experience). I don't buy the whole "you're an undergrad to learn you shouldn't have to deal with this type of BS"----that's just part of life. Part of research, part of working with those superior to you. If it gets worse or doesnt get any better-----give it a couple weeks----then we can talk. But if you've been fine for 7 months and done some decent work, I don't think there's a need to draw attention to this.

If you were to meet with your PI ,what exactly are you going to say? Here's my best guess: "I've been making some mistakes of late, I take full responsibility for this, I just want to let you know I am fully committed to giving everything I have to this lab and just want to make sure the post-doc is aware of this and understands the commitment I want to make and the effort I put in because I think there may have been some small miscommunications between me and the post-doc lately and a lack of understanding between us at times. I just want to you to know and the post-docc who I will also say this to I apologize for that, I understand that both of you are extremely busy during this time of the year, and that I just want to make sure I am doing the best job possible and what is expected of me in the lab. I overall just wanted to emphasize that I have been thinking alot about my work, what is expected of me and to let you and the post-doc know that the questions I have are things I have really tried to reason and think out before hand and am only asking for things when I really can't figure something specific out. "----

This isn't a terrible type of thing to say but I don't think it really does too much for you. If you are making mistakes, that's probably as big of a take away as anything the PI will take away that sure the post-doc might not be the most receptive or helpful but that you also aren't helping things for her with those mistakes.

So I would wait a couple weeks, 1 bad month after 7 fine one's isn't enough to decide your post-doc is suddenly not respecting you and deciding to treat you like dirt--------emphasize on doing better in lab, having a better understanding, being on top of things, give YOUR best effort and let's see how she responds. This is the summer; there's no excuse of having class to worry about and really unless you have another significant work commitment, this should be your biggest focus of the summer by far.

 

[standardstaples]

I've thought a decent amount this thread particularly since I was in this situation at one point. Part of it is me thinking how maybe I could have handled my situation better haha but anyway I've spent enough time on this. So after reflecting here's what I would do.

I don't think I would call any meeting with anybody---PI postdoc anybody as of now. As @ZedsDed said, there's no way to emphasize how stressful research can be for post-docs for certain stretches. I've seen people's personalities change for weeks at a time and a particular by product of this stress is having less tolerance for mistakes, particularly undergrad mistakes and undergrads who are slow to pick up on things(which I'm not justifying I'm just stating based off experience). I don't buy the whole "you're an undergrad to learn you shouldn't have to deal with this type of BS"----that's just part of life. Part of research, part of working with those superior to you. If it gets worse or doesnt get any better-----give it a couple weeks----then we can talk. But if you've been fine for 7 months and done some decent work, I don't think there's a need to draw attention to this.

If you were to meet with your PI ,what exactly are you going to say? Here's my best guess: "I've been making some mistakes of late, I take full responsibility for this, I just want to let you know I am fully committed to giving everything I have to this lab and just want to make sure the post-doc is aware of this and understands the commitment I want to make and the effort I put in because I think there may have been some small miscommunications between me and the post-doc lately and a lack of understanding between us at times. I just want to you to know and the post-docc who I will also say this to I apologize for that, I understand that both of you are extremely busy during this time of the year, and that I just want to make sure I am doing the best job possible and what is expected of me in the lab. I overall just wanted to emphasize that I have been thinking alot about my work, what is expected of me and to let you and the post-doc know that the questions I have are things I have really tried to reason and think out before hand and am only asking for things when I really can't figure something specific out. "----

This isn't a terrible type of thing to say but I don't think it really does too much for you. If you are making mistakes, that's probably as big of a take away as anything the PI will take away that sure the post-doc might not be the most receptive or helpful but that you also aren't helping things for her with those mistakes.

So I would wait a couple weeks, 1 bad month after 7 fine one's isn't enough to decide your post-doc is suddenly not respecting you and deciding to treat you like dirt--------emphasize on doing better in lab, having a better understanding, being on top of things, give YOUR best effort and let's see how she responds. This is the summer; there's no excuse of having class to worry about and really unless you have another significant work commitment, this should be your biggest focus of the summer by far.

Thanks! It's not summer yet for me so I do have classes to worry about. Actually, I just finished the last set of exams and finals are coming up.
I think I will avoid meeting with anyone and gauge how the rest of the week goes.

 

[ciruji]

No lab should be toxic. Try researching lab techniques online or search for articles that used those techniques to see where you can improve and understand where you want to go. If you let this keep happening, your GPA can be affected.

 

[beeboops]

If I wanted to have a one-on-one talk with my PI in a manner that you mentioned (emphasizing my faults and not placing blame on the postdoc), should I set an appointment up with her in person or by email ? The PI always seems busy and she's very intimidating compared to other PIs I have spoken to, so I'm not sure what would be the most professional way to approach her.

I would definitely e-mail her and just ask to set up an appointment to talk if she's busy and intimidating. It sounds like you don't get to interact much with your PI, which isn't good, especially if you want to get a letter of recommendation from her. I obviously don't know everything about your situation, but learning this makes me lean even more towards telling you to leave the lab and finding something else more fulfilling that you could get a letter from.

 

[argama]

I too have also had..maybe even having this kind of experience. I would say it's definitely a research lab thing especially in basic science research.

 

[ramifications]

Thank you! All of this really helped just remove some of my anger and frustration towards her and the lab.

Really sad to hear that. I hope you confront your mentor and work it out. Speaking with the PI will only mean that you are tattle taling which may not end well; in fact, PI may be more defensive toward the mentor than towards you.

 

[Dormouse]

If I were in your shoes, based on what you've described, I'd give it another attempt to repair the situation. If there's another person in the lab that you get along with, I'd tell this situation to that person from your perspective without laying blame, and ask them if they have noticed anything and what they think is happening. Then I'd be direct and go talk to the postdoc, apologize again for the gel mistake, and tell her that I hope this small stupidity on my part will not permanently damage our relationship. I would tell her how much I appreciate her taking the time to mentor, how much I learned in the lab, etc. If she still gives you a hard time afterwards, you should subtly let her know that her attitude was not appreciated. You've given the situation the best you have, and just talk to the PI and gracefully leave. If your relationship with the PI was good, you're still likely to get a very good recommendation letter.

Situations like this are so very common. Very rarely do postdocs want college students because they have nothing to gain by mentoring you if you can't produce results, and if you make a mistake, you can ruin someone's experiment and set him/her back for weeks. Like others said, I'd really strongly caution against talking to the PI if you're planning on staying, or at least very carefully consider what you say. The PI is much more likely to side with the postdoc even if s/he empathize with your situation, because your postdoc produces results for the lab and is likely to be in the lab in the long term, whereas your contribution is very much more limited. Even if the PI sides with you, depending on who your postdoc is friendly with, you will permanently change the relationship between you and people in the lab, most likely in a very negative way.

Try to find out what the dynamics is like between people. Research people tends to be curt and non-talkative in general, but you should be friendly to absolutely everyone, all the time. There can be reasons for your postdoc's attitude beyond what you may expect, and you can only find out about these things by watching people more carefully and sometimes by subtly asking the right people. For instance, because you were doing well, the postdoc may be thinking that you were claiming more autonomy and responsibility than you deserved, when it was really her making sure that everything was going right, so when you messed up, the new resentment came up. That's just a hypothetical possibility.

It sounds like you were doing very well for some time, until this incidence very recently. In my experience, one way to make sure the people you work with in lab treat you nicely is to go the extra mile to offer to take care of the grunt work in the experiments for them, even when it's not your job. Ask if they need help with anything that you can easily do. This does not mean working longer hours, but rather, offer to take care of small, mundane things like taking out a sample, preparing solutions, etc, things that need to be done but other people dread doing. I see it as a fair trade-off in exchange for people taking their time to teach. You rarely garner good will simply by working longer, when postdocs can easily work up to 80 hours a week (for a low 40hr/week salary).

 

[Dormouse]

Another time, she asked me if I knew how to calculate a basic stoichiometric calculation and I said yes, so she looked at me, said "ok, then do it", threw the pen on the table and walked to her desk. After her behavior, I had a flood of nervousness hit me and I kept questioning whether I had done the calculation right. I did it correctly but I was really scared to call her over to take a look once I finished so we could move on with the experiment.

You won't impress anyone by saying that you know something when you feel uncomfortable, and you can set boundaries for how much you're asked to work by telling her that you have academic obligations, i.e. at such and such times, you need to be in class/lab/study session/extracurricular. You need to make your postdoc depend on you in some way, whether that is by taking care of tasks she doesn't want to deal with or mastering some technique so well that she needs you for it. Then you have more leverage. You always have the freedom to leave at any time.

 

[GrapesofRath]

If I were in your shoes, based on what you've described, I'd give it another attempt to repair the situation. If there's another person in the lab that you get along with, I'd tell this situation to that person from your perspective without laying blame, and ask them if they have noticed anything and what they think is happening. Then I'd be direct and go talk to the postdoc, apologize again for the gel mistake, and tell her that I hope this small stupidity on my part will not permanently damage our relationship. I would tell her how much I appreciate her taking the time to mentor, how much I learned in the lab, etc. If she still gives you a hard time afterwards, you should subtly let her know that her attitude was not appreciated. You've given the situation the best you have, and just talk to the PI and gracefully leave. If your relationship with the PI was good, you're still likely to get a very good recommendation letter.

Situations like this are so very common. Very rarely do postdocs want college students because they have nothing to gain by mentoring you if you can't produce results, and if you make a mistake, you can ruin someone's experiment and set him/her back for weeks. Like others said, I'd really strongly caution against talking to the PI if you're planning on staying, or at least very carefully consider what you say. The PI is much more likely to side with the postdoc even if s/he empathize with your situation, because your postdoc produces results for the lab and is likely to be in the lab in the long term, whereas your contribution is very much more limited. Even if the PI sides with you, depending on who your postdoc is friendly with, you will permanently change the relationship between you and people in the lab, most likely in a very negative way.

Try to find out what the dynamics is like between people. Research people tends to be curt and non-talkative in general, but you should be friendly to absolutely everyone, all the time. There can be reasons for your postdoc's attitude beyond what you may expect, and you can only find out about these things by watching people more carefully and sometimes by subtly asking the right people. For instance, because you were doing well, the postdoc may be thinking that you were claiming more autonomy and responsibility than you deserved, when it was really her making sure that everything was going right, so when you messed up, the new resentment came up. That's just a hypothetical possibility.

It sounds like you were doing very well for some time, until this incidence very recently. In my experience, one way to make sure the people you work with in lab treat you nicely is to go the extra mile to offer to take care of the grunt work in the experiments for them, even when it's not your job. Ask if they need help with anything that you can easily do. This does not mean working longer hours, but rather, offer to take care of small, mundane things like taking out a sample, preparing solutions, etc, things that need to be done but other people dread doing. I see it as a fair trade-off in exchange for people taking their time to teach. You rarely garner good will simply by working longer, when postdocs can easily work up to 80 hours a week (for a low 40hr/week salary).

+1 to all of this. This is a better job of describing and stating the overall idea I had above. Your post-docc isn't going to respond well to you complaining to your PI, particularly if you do it behind his/her back and not even talking to them(which I don't think is the move either). And yes, @Dormouse hits the nail on the head here, you are the PI----who are you siding in a situation like this(and yes in some way or another the PI will side with someone on an issue like this)----your post-doc who has put in years of solid work for you or a new undergrad who is learning and is admitting they have made mistakes? It's a no brainer, particularly if your PI doesn't know you that particularly well. Bottom line: You admitting mistakes and still "whining"(that's how it'll be perceived by some PIs) about how you are being treated never goes well in whatever business you are in, whether fair or not.