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- May 3, 2006
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Psych patient in ER came with the CC of "craving chocolate."
My favorite was when I was on Peds ER and the mom stopped me to ask if I was also trained in adult medicine...which ended up being b/c she realized she left the plastic applicator of her tampon in all day and was now freaking out because she was worried she would "die" (verbatim)
CC: "Are you a surgeon? I need a surgeon."
me: why do you need a surgeon?
pt: my arm fell off
me: your arm looks okay to me
pt: nope, that's not my arm my arm fell off
psych pt of course
Two funny ones (the first one is not a CC though)
1. patient's chart in the ER says that they are allergic to: "elephants"
2. psych patient's CC was that she swallowed a marker because she was frustrated with coffee filters
Someone fell in water from a height on trauma and said they were allergic to water. Tough life I would guess. Miraculous they were still alive.
Oddee.com's 10 People With Unbelievable Medical Conditions. Check out #5, The Girl Who Is Allergic To Water. Warning: Oddee.com is the biggest timesink since TVTropes.org, aka The Black Hole of The Internet. You have been warned!
(Oh, and they also have The 10 Worst Prescription Side Effects!)
Ha I think I did read about that but its not really an allergy as there is no histamine release and is thought to be only due to nondistilled water. Can you imagine how expensive it would be to shower in distilled H2O. This lady was describing more of a problem with having drinking water which would actually be horrible lol.
There's no pus like butt pus!Cc: "my butt hurts"
pt admitted for I&D of MRSA positive decubitous ulcer/abscess.
GSW resulting in finger amputation (5th digit) from cleaning his gun-at church (Pentecostal). Guess you gotta do snake control somehow.
Had a guy come into FM clinic and say "my penis is retreating into my body."
On pelvic exam, it looked exactly like he described.
Attending figured that some pelvic surgery that the patient had long time ago resulted in fibrotic tissue that was pulling on this man's penis. Urology referral ftw.
"Gentile warts."
Alas, as the only Jew in the office, I was also the only one who thought this was funny.
Pediatric acute care clinic
cc:"keeps turning right"
I guess he's just not an ambiturner
TheRoach must have just purchased his/her first PDA.
Allergies: Coumadin, "makes me turn purple."