"Funny quotes from 'less informed' pre-meds," On-Topic Edition

[TxC]

Why do so many premeds want to be pediatric neurosurgeons?

Random premed: "I love helping children, it's such a noble thing to do!!!!!"

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[crossfit4lyfe]

(Details have been altered in this story to protect identities; the quotes haven't been.)

At one interview day, a physiatrist gave a great talk about her work and her path in medicine. She showed videos of patients with abnormal gaits, along with imaging of their spinal cords showing where they were pinched or damaged. She then went into how she diagnosed and treated these patients, and touched on her research on how to improve diagnostics in this area. It was a wonderful presentation. When she finished, another interviewee raised his hand.

Interviewee: "So, what you do is, like, what a Ph.D. does?"
The physiatrist explained that she was in fact a physician, though perhaps the interviewee was misled by the fact that she also did research.
Interviewee: "Oh. Another question. What do you do about patients who are faking it to get pain medications?"
The physiatrist, confused, pointed out that her patients rarely complained of pain and that she did not prescribe these medications. Furthermore, the diagnoses were confirmed with imaging.

I was impressed by how the physician dealt with these baffling questions kindly and without judgment. (I can't say the same for my internal monologue--"faking it," really?) The interviewee is in the Facebook group for that school; he was accepted.

I try to see a positive moral here. Even though all of us applicants have a great deal of ignorance, it doesn't stop us from getting to the next step.

I really like the point you made here, about her answering questions non judgmentally and kindly. I am guilty of this, and I know others are guilty of being rude and judging when people say ignorant things, but we were all there once. Thanks for reminding me

 

[crossfit4lyfe]

Why would a school let applicants into the cadaver lab? I'd have serious ethical concerns about your tour guide's respect for the cadavers and their privacy.

Furthermore, dressed up as you are on an interview, why would you set foot in one?

At every interview I had we viewed the cadaver lab, and saw a cadaver at more than half. They always said if you're not comfortable, you can wait outside. And many showed us body parts and incisions, and showed us some cool anatomical issues.

I did not think it was disrespectful, it was an educating experience and I, personally appreciated it.

 

[samac]

Why would a school let applicants into the cadaver lab? I'd have serious ethical concerns about your tour guide's respect for the cadavers and their privacy.

Furthermore, dressed up as you are on an interview, why would you set foot in one?

I didn't think it was allowed. I've not been to a school that has offered to let us in one for respect to the cadaver's privacy.
But I guess it is. . . But it would honestly make me like a school less if they didn't respect their cadavers.

 

[PreciousHamburgers]

Why are the vast majority of these uninformed premeds girls? I'm pretty sure there are guys who are less informed too.

I have two guys that are uninformed. Unfortunately, they haven't said anything concise or funny enough to warrant a post here. I'm always listening for it though...

 

[crossfit4lyfe]

Why do so many premeds want to be pediatric neurosurgeons?

Because of Mrs. Shepherd on Grays Anatomy (love her!)

 

[miamiheatfan]

Why do so many premeds want to be pediatric neurosurgeons?

This made me LOL! Every pre-med wants to be the most complicated specialist of all time haha

 

[mehc012]

I didn't think it was allowed. I've not been to a school that has offered to let us in one for respect to the cadaver's privacy.
But I guess it is. . . But it would honestly make me like a school less if they didn't respect their cadavers.

I don't see how it's disrespectful to allow people to learn from the bodies of people who specifically donated their bodies to allow students to learn. It's different from the med students learning everything in-depth, sure, but everyone has to start somewhere. It just doesn't seem particularly out of scope for the potential future students to have a glimpse.

Then again, I've never understood the whole emotional-attachment-to-dead-bodies thing anyway. Feel free to string mine up like a marionette and have it act out Equus, for all I care. I won't be there to object.

 

[miamiheatfan]

"I don't know about you, but I want to be a pediatric geriatric cardiothoracic neurosurgeon practicing at MGH and Seattle Grace at the same time!!11!1"

-uninformed premed girl who doesn't even know what a residency is.

I love this!

 

[j4pac]

My buddy on rounds: "Is Miss Smith a good candidate for Glucophage considering that it is Meant-for-men?"

My attending: "Ugh."

 

[BadgerBadger]

Why do so many premeds want to be pediatric neurosurgeons?

It sounds super fancy and respected.

 

[BadgerBadger]

Yeah but it seems like most of the time it's girls. Maybe it has to do with how girls are raised vs. guys but it's weird.

Maybe they think they're out to prove themselves so they try sounding really intelligent but it just ends up sounding uninformed and ignorant more often than guys.

 

[JW2020]

Less funny and more of a strange trend I've noticed recently with people not understanding that medical school=training to be a physician (as opposed to nurse, MA, etc)

Young bartender: So what do you do?
Me: Right now I do research at a children's hospital, but I'm starting medical school in August
Her: Really?? I'm in medical school too!
Me (she had just said she was 20 and didn't strike me as the brightest pint glass on her bar's shelf, so I was skeptical): No way! What school?
Her: Suffolk Community College (something like that)
Me (probing): I didn't know they had a medical school.....
Her: Yeah, I'm in the medical assistant program
Me: Ahhhhhh

It just blows my mind that some people don't know this. Even before I knew anything about healthcare I feel like my friends/extended family and I at least understood the basic concept of medical school= you are going to be a physician

 

[f4reignbeauty]

@JW2020 lol this is true. A lot of people congratulate me on getting into nursing school. I just say thanks ...and smile

 

[Goro]

The SCC like out in Selden, LI? That SCC? No wonder you got the answer you did...it's the 13th grade!

Less funny and more of a strange trend I've noticed recently with people not understanding that medical school=training to be a physician (as opposed to nurse, MA, etc)

Young bartender: So what do you do?
Me: Right now I do research at a children's hospital, but I'm starting medical school in August
Her: Really?? I'm in medical school too!
Me (she had just said she was 20 and didn't strike me as the brightest pint glass on her bar's shelf, so I was skeptical): No way! What school?
Her: Suffolk Community College (something like that)
Me (probing): I didn't know they had a medical school.....
Her: Yeah, I'm in the medical assistant program
Me: Ahhhhhh

It just blows my mind that some people don't know this. Even before I knew anything about healthcare I feel like my friends/extended family and I at least understood the basic concept of medical school= you are going to be a physician

 

[JW2020]

The SCC like out in Selden, LI? That SCC? No wonder you got the answer you did...it's the 13th grade!

Haha no this was in the downtown Boston area.... I don't remember the exact name she gave and just used a fill in. We were near Suffolk University so I just added the Commmunity College into the name for comedic effect. Also not an intentional knock on Suffolk U to anyone who went there

 

[GoPens]

Why do so many premeds want to be pediatric neurosurgeons?

Grey's Anatomy. I assume they also expect to date attractive neurosurgery attendings as interns.

 

[mehc012]

Grey's Anatomy. I assume they also expect to date attractive neurosurgery attendings as interns.

Clearly they just need to be sexy enough and the hot neurosurgeon will pursue them despite any obstacles thrown in their way (which means they have to make zero effort).
Wait...I think I just figured out why the whole 'persistent, will-do-anything-to-date-you' thing is seen as amazing instead of 'eww, creepy'. It's the pure embodiment of 'being doted on despite putting in any reciprocal effort' fantasy (if, again, you ignore the creep-factor).

 

[f4reignbeauty]

Not going to lie... Grey's Anatomy is my favorite show!

 

[medic86]

Not going to lie... Grey's Anatomy is my favorite show!

... was this supposed to be a quotation?

 

[f4reignbeauty]

@medic86 no... lol probably should've been. Just noticed a few people mention Grey's Anatomy.

 

[medic86]

@medic86 no... lol probably should've been. Just noticed a few people mention Grey's Anatomy.

I'm just teasing.

 

[mehc012]

Yup it depends on whether she finds you attractive or not.
McDreamy = mm pls take me NOW.
McMe = eww pls stahp

Well, n=1 for 'eww pls stahp' regardless of the hot factor. Guy who doesn't take 'no' for an answer ≠ sexy *shudder*

 

[GoPens]

Also I wish doctors were on the writing staff on these shows. Seriously how much do you think Shonda Rhimes knows about medicine?

I think they have consultants, but really just to advise on medical terminology and whatnot. I'm sure if they advised on "what its like to actually be a surgeon," they would have an entirely different kind of show.

Full disclosure: I am actually a longtime Grey's Anatomy fan, but I like it for what it is: an entertaining fictional television show. Its shocking how many people I've encountered, premed and general population, who think that's an accurate portrayal.

 

[DesertPT]

At every interview I had we viewed the cadaver lab, and saw a cadaver at more than half. They always said if you're not comfortable, you can wait outside. And many showed us body parts and incisions, and showed us some cool anatomical issues.

I did not think it was disrespectful, it was an educating experience and I, personally appreciated it.

I don't see how it's disrespectful to allow people to learn from the bodies of people who specifically donated their bodies to allow students to learn. It's different from the med students learning everything in-depth, sure, but everyone has to start somewhere. It just doesn't seem particularly out of scope for the potential future students to have a glimpse.

Then again, I've never understood the whole emotional-attachment-to-dead-bodies thing anyway. Feel free to string mine up like a marionette and have it act out Equus, for all I care. I won't be there to object.

Agreed. We have all seen cadavers in our undergrad anatomy labs and we will all be using them. I don't see how it is disrespectful to allow applicants to see the anatomy lab and one of the cadavers therein. They are trying to help applicants make an informed decision about which school they would like to attend and the students giving the tour were entirely respectful and even mentioned the importance of such during their description of the gross anatomy portion of the curriculum.

Now the girl thinking that the head of a femur was an eyeball, while hilarious, was probably the only one guilty of potentially being disrespectful...

If people honestly have a lessened desire to attend a school simply because the cadaver lab was featured during the tour, I kind of feel like they may need to climb down off of their ethical ivory tower a bit. But I can respect that opinion.

 

[samac]

Agreed. We have all seen cadavers in our undergrad anatomy labs and we will all be using them. I don't see how it is disrespectful to allow applicants to see the anatomy lab and one of the cadavers therein. They are trying to help applicants make an informed decision about which school they would like to attend and the students giving the tour were entirely respectful and even mentioned the importance of such during their description of the gross anatomy portion of the curriculum.

Now the girl thinking that the head of a femur was an eyeball, while hilarious, was probably the only one guilty of potentially being disrespectful...

If people honestly have a lessened desire to attend a school simply because the cadaver lab was featured during the tour, I kind of feel like they may need to climb down off of their ethical ivory tower a bit. But I can respect that opinion.

You think most undergrad institutions have cadaver labs? I'm glad you go somewhere that you have that privilege, but I would venture to say most undergrad institutions don't have cadaver labs.

All schools I interviewed at didn't take us into the cadaver lab on the tour due to patient confidentiality.

 

[DesertPT]

You think most undergrad institutions have cadaver labs? I'm glad you go somewhere that you have that privilege, but I would venture to say most undergrad institutions don't have cadaver labs.

All schools I interviewed at didn't take us into the cadaver lab on the tour due to patient confidentiality.

I guess I should note that I am talking about PT schools, all of which have anatomy lab as a pre-req. But you are right, some undergrad classes just use plastinates or models rather than cadavers. I imagine most large universities have do have cadavers though.

I don't see how their was really a patient confidentiality breech. The one cadaver that was out had its face covered. How would I possibly know anything about this person?

 

[Godspeedyou]

The one cadaver that was out had its face covered. How would I possibly know anything about this person?

Are you implying cadavers are incapable of sensing your presence?

 

[BamaNicole]

@medic86 no... lol probably should've been. Just noticed a few people mention Grey's Anatomy.

I had a roommate in college that wanted to be a doctor because of Grey's Anatomy.

Never mind the fact she didn't bother to get out of bed to go to class or do any of her work. Even after failing general chemistry 4 times she was convinced she was still going to go to med school.

 

[itsthat1guy]

Then again, I've never understood the whole emotional-attachment-to-dead-bodies thing anyway. Feel free to string mine up like a marionette and have it act out Equus, for all I care. I won't be there to object.

louis ck does a funny bit about this

 

[PreciousHamburgers]

I have two guys that are uninformed. Unfortunately, they haven't said anything concise or funny enough to warrant a post here. I'm always listening for it though...

OK, one of them just picked up an organ from a full-scale plastic torso model and asked if it was a heart. It was in fact a stomach.

EDIT: I said, "No, but it is the way to a man's heart."

 

[deleted407021]

You think most undergrad institutions have cadaver labs? I'm glad you go somewhere that you have that privilege, but I would venture to say most undergrad institutions don't have cadaver labs.

My UG does, but we also have an RN, NP school and a large kinesiology program.

I had a roommate in college that wanted to be a doctor because of Grey's Anatomy.

Never mind the fact she didn't bother to get out of bed to go to class or do any of her work. Even after failing general chemistry 4 times she was convinced she was still going to go to med school.

This is the least of the ignorance you often see. It blows my mind that someone can claim they want to go into a specific field and have never, ever even done one simple Google search about anything pertinent to their career plans. It's like they're perpetually in 9th grade.

 

[deleted642188]

Premed who got a 38 on August's MCAT: "zOMG!! there are ssssoooo many schools that say they prefer MCAT 2015 for next year!!!! I need to retake my MCATs again!!!"

Really grinded my axe because I had a 30 and decided to cancel my January MCAT, and the same guy said mt 30 was good enough to be competitive...

 

[mehc012]

Premed who got a 38 on August's MCAT: "zOMG!! there are ssssoooo many schools that say they prefer MCAT 2015 for next year!!!! I need to retake my MCATs again!!!"

Really grinded my axe because I had a 30 and decided to cancel my January MCAT, and the same guy said mt 30 was good enough to be competitive...

It's also not true...look at https://www.aamc.org/students/download/398586/data/mcatexampolicy.pdf
I don't get why it would grind your axe, though...your 30 is fine (assuming it's balanced) and your Jan MCAT wouldn't have been the 2015 version. You're fine! You can sit there and relax as your friend foolishly suffers through another bout of MCAT studying, with more material and fewer resources, risking a lower score than his great one.

 

[hoihaie]

It's also not true...look at https://www.aamc.org/students/download/398586/data/mcatexampolicy.pdf
I don't get why it would grind your axe, though...your 30 is fine (assuming it's balanced) and your Jan MCAT wouldn't have been the 2015 version. You're fine! You can sit there and relax as your friend foolishly suffers through another bout of MCAT studying, with more material and fewer resources, risking a lower score than his great one.

I think his friend is just employing the ancient technique of humble brag

 

[MrLogan13]

OK, one of them just picked up an organ from a full-scale plastic torso model and asked if it was a heart. It was in fact a stomach.

EDIT: I said, "No, but it is the way to a man's heart."

This reminds me of something that happened last year. I'm working on a master's in anatomy and took gross with the medical students. The cadaver that my group of fellow masters students was working on was the only female that still had her uterus intact, so everyone came by our humidor to have us demonstrate her reproductive organs for them.

One of the medical students, upon arriving at our cadaver, looked wide-eyed into our cadaver's open thoracic and abdominal cavity, pointed a probe at the liver and exclaimed, "Why is her kidney so huge?!"

Me: Umm...that's her liver.

Her: Oh.

 

[DrShephardWannabe]

I'll admit my old ways because I laugh at them now:
I came into college as a psych/pre-med major because I thought it would highly boost my GPA (Which is logical) but I thought I didn't have to take physics if I stuck with psych and that's what I was telling everyone. I have since accepted my fate and switched majors to something that people actually respect (No offense psych majors)

 

[deleted642188]

It's also not true...look at https://www.aamc.org/students/download/398586/data/mcatexampolicy.pdf
I don't get why it would grind your axe, though...your 30 is fine (assuming it's balanced) and your Jan MCAT wouldn't have been the 2015 version. You're fine! You can sit there and relax as your friend foolishly suffers through another bout of MCAT studying, with more material and fewer resources, risking a lower score than his great one.

my point was that I was annoyed that someone with an amazing MCAT would risk all over again because it was the old MCAT. I was very happy about mys core until he brought it up... I hope I used the term axe-grinding appropriately...

He also knows that they'll accept his MCAT; it's just that he thinks he'll get an edge if he took the "preferred" version....

... and yes, my score is balanced (10 PS/10 Verbal/ 10 BS)

 

[NYCdude]

I think they have consultants, but really just to advise on medical terminology and whatnot. I'm sure if they advised on "what its like to actually be a surgeon," they would have an entirely different kind of show.

Full disclosure: I am actually a longtime Grey's Anatomy fan, but I like it for what it is: an entertaining fictional television show. Its shocking how many people I've encountered, premed and general population, who think that's an accurate portrayal.

lol At the same time, it's kinda annoying how blatantly removed from reality some shows can be.

Like House. These guys do every single procedure imaginable. I didn't know IM offered a combined Endo-Cardiology-Neurosurgery-Oncology-Gastro-Ortho fellowship. An accelerated one at that.

 

[mehc012]

my point was that I was annoyed that someone with an amazing MCAT would risk all over again because it was the old MCAT. I was very happy about mys core until he brought it up... I hope I used the term axe-grinding appropriately...

He also knows that they'll accept his MCAT; it's just that he thinks he'll get an edge if he took the "preferred" version....

... and yes, my score is balanced (10 PS/10 Verbal/ 10 BS)

Well, he's an idiot and truly belongs in this thread, then!

 

[whatever5]

One of the nurses at the facility I work at said this gem at lunch -

Nurse: Want my bread roll? I'm allergic to gluten.
Me: Really? That sucks... wait, weren't you talking about your favorite burger place yesterday?
Nurse: Well yeah, I mean I can eat it but it messes with my system.
Me: What happens?
Nurse: I just feel really full and bloated after.

 

[whatever5]

Conversation I had with my pre-med friend right after she got her first acceptance:

Me: Congrats! Do you know what kind of doctor you want to be?
Her: Yes. An abortion doctor.
Me: That's... specific. What kind of specialty is that?
Her: It's own specialty? Or maybe you just major in abortions, I'm not entirely sure. I just want to give confused teenagers abortions, then while they're waking up from surgery I'll be there whispering in their ear like "you're going to hell, you murdering slut!"

She's a 4th year now, so watch out, World.

 

[AspiringERMD]

One of the nurses at the facility I work at said this gem at lunch -

Nurse: Want my bread roll? I'm allergic to gluten.
Me: Really? That sucks... wait, weren't you talking about your favorite burger place yesterday?
Nurse: Well yeah, I mean I can eat it but it messes with my system.
Me: What happens?
Nurse: I just feel really full and bloated after.

UGGGGGHHHH. As someone with three close family members with the potential to go into anaphylaxis (two in response to foods and one, terrifyingly, idiopathic), it drives me up the ****ing wall when people say they're allergic to stuff that just makes them feel "bad" in some way. My sister was just in the ED for it again in December (in fact, she lost consciousness while being driven to the hospital; my other sister pulled the car over and called EMS to take her the rest of the way). Words have actual meanings. This misuse of the word "allergy" is common, and it makes people less likely to be careful for those whose lives actually DO depend on utensils not being contaminated, etc.

(Vani Hari is the current object of most of my pseudoscience-related ire for similar reasons.)

Sorry. End rant.

 

[AspiringERMD]

Conversation I had with my pre-med friend right after she got her first acceptance:

Me: Congrats! Do you know what kind of doctor you want to be?
Her: Yes. An abortion doctor.
Me: That's... specific. What kind of specialty is that?
Her: It's own specialty? Or maybe you just major in abortions, I'm not entirely sure. I just want to give confused teenagers abortions, then while they're waking up from surgery I'll be there whispering in their ear like "you're going to hell, you murdering slut!"

She's a 4th year now, so watch out, World.

Wow, this is far more disturbing and offensive to me than the one I just ranted about.

 

[deleted407021]

Conversation I had with my pre-med friend right after she got her first acceptance:

Me: Congrats! Do you know what kind of doctor you want to be?
Her: Yes. An abortion doctor.
Me: That's... specific. What kind of specialty is that?
Her: It's own specialty? Or maybe you just major in abortions, I'm not entirely sure. I just want to give confused teenagers abortions, then while they're waking up from surgery I'll be there whispering in their ear like "you're going to hell, you murdering slut!"

She's a 4th year now, so watch out, World.

Your friend sounds adorable.

 

[f4reignbeauty]

Yeah...I am in shock.

 

[PreciousHamburgers]

UGGGGGHHHH. As someone with three close family members with the potential to go into anaphylaxis (two in response to foods and one, terrifyingly, idiopathic), it drives me up the ****ing wall when people say they're allergic to stuff that just makes them feel "bad" in some way. My sister was just in the ED for it again in December (in fact, she lost consciousness while being driven to the hospital; my other sister pulled the car over and called EMS to take her the rest of the way). Words have actual meanings. This misuse of the word "allergy" is common, and it makes people less likely to be careful for those whose lives actually DO depend on utensils not being contaminated, etc.

(Vani Hari is the current object of most of my pseudoscience-related ire for similar reasons.)

Sorry. End rant.

I would tend to agree with you, but to give her the benefit of the doubt, there is this:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25701700

 

[AspiringERMD]

I would tend to agree with you, but to give her the benefit of the doubt, there is this:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25701700

I do know that a small proportion of people have a legitimate sensitivity besides celiac disease, but even so, I don't think it's an allergy, is it? But yes, I was indeed griping mostly about the people who merely think they have problems with foods that they don't.

EDIT: Like this special snowflake... "sugars ending in -ose"?!

 

[WingedOx]

Sounds like she just has a dark sense of humor

Sounds like the majority of my co-workers.

 

[ImmunoLove]

My buddy on rounds: "Is Miss Smith a good candidate for Glucophage considering that it is Meant-for-men?"

My attending: "Ugh."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg I can't stop laughing!!!!