Funny quotes from "less informed" premeds

[el_duderino]

Makes me question people's ability to use google.

In order to search for an answer, you must first have a question.

To have a question, you have to assume you don't know everything already.

I'll let you guess where the failure occurs.

---

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[deleted407021]

Not a premed situation, but:

In my behavior modification class over the summer, we were talking about observations of children in artificial environments. A girl raises her hand and asks, "Do they use three way mirrors?".

Additionally, most psych majors have no idea how evolution - or heredity even - works. They'll ask questions about use vs disuse and why a baby of a body builder isn't born totally shredded.

 

[hogfan12]

I was in a Spanish speaking for Healthcare and most were pre-med or nursing and the first day we have to tell everyone what field we're interested in. The idiotic freshman sorority girl sitting in front of me said she had her heart set on being a "pediatric cardiologic surgeon"

 

[jagster92]

I was in a Spanish speaking for Healthcare and most were pre-med or nursing and the first day we have to tell everyone what field we're interested in. The idiotic freshman sorority girl sitting in front of me said she had her heart set on being a "pediatric cardiologic surgeon"

Did you ask her if her role model was Karev or Robbins?

 

[allantois]

So I'm sure it has happened to tons of people before and we shouldn't even blame the student as she is not even in college, but
I was volunteering at the hospital and this is my conversation with another volunteer who is a high school senior:

Me: So do you know what you want to major in college?

Her: Pediatricians

Me: Oh nice, do you like kids?

Her: Yes, and what about you?

Me: Oh, I'm studying Biology

Her: I HATE Biology!! I got a C in it when I took it.


Pediatricians major

 

[Minipi]

A pre-med thought PA stood for physician.

From the same person:

"I'm from LA. You know, LOS ANGELES. It's in Cali. That's what we call California. Your state is so boring. People told me to go here but I didn't know it would be so boring. I LOVE California. When I graduate from here, I'm moving to New Mexico. I want to be around Mexican people. We have a lot of Mexican people in California. Every time I see an Indian or Arab person here I get mad because they're not Mexican."

 

[Flashfan]

WTF??? Brilliant.

 

[Minipi]

Oh yeah the same person told a girl "You're beautiful. Are you Mexican?" The girl said "No." The person responded "UGH. No one around here is Mexican. It's OK - I don't blame you for not being Mexican."

 

[deleted407021]

A pre-med thought PA stood for physician.

From the same person:

"I'm from LA. You know, LOS ANGELES. It's in Cali. That's what we call California. Your state is so boring. People told me to go here but I didn't know it would be so boring. I LOVE California. When I graduate from here, I'm moving to New Mexico. I want to be around Mexican people. We have a lot of Mexican people in California. Every time I see an Indian or Arab person here I get mad because they're not Mexican."

Oh yeah the same person told a girl "You're beautiful. Are you Mexican?" The girl said "No." The person responded "UGH. No one around here is Mexican. It's OK - I don't blame you for not being Mexican."

What the hell is she on about?

An non trad recently tried to tell me that DO schools hated non traditional applicants....

 

[ebasappa]

I had a pre-med student tell me : "Bro, I'm telling you, if you don't do any ECs at all it shows them that you are confident enough to know you want to be in medicine and it sets you apart. Trust me!"

............ Gooby pls....

 

[MrLogan13]

I had a pre-med student tell me : "Bro, I'm telling you, if you don't do any ECs at all it shows them that you are confident enough to know you want to be in medicine and it sets you apart. Trust me!"

............ Gooby pls....

y u do dis premed?

 

[db4277]

I'm a "sensitive exam" model/instructor and I'm contracted by several medical, nursing, and PA schools, and some residency programs.

I was training a group of internal medicine residents for a program which only selects foreign trained MDs. My co-teacher was doing the initial demonstration exam. She gets to the part where she demonstrates checking under the clitoral hood for nodules, infection, and mobility (it takes half-a-second). Poor resident lady says "wait, wait, can you go back? WHERE is the clitoris?" "THAT'S where the clitoris is? I never understood. Thank you." She was wearing a wedding ring too. . .

 

[TastingJustice]

I had a pre-med student tell me : "Bro, I'm telling you, if you don't do any ECs at all it shows them that you are confident enough to know you want to be in medicine and it sets you apart. Trust me!"

............ Gooby pls....

He's right though.

Doing this would set you apart. As the guy who is confident out of pure ignorance.

 

[deleted407021]

I'm a "sensitive exam" model/instructor and I'm contracted by several medical, nursing, and PA schools, and some residency programs.

I was training a group of internal medicine residents for a program which only selects foreign trained MDs. My co-teacher was doing the initial demonstration exam. She gets to the part where she demonstrates checking under the clitoral hood for nodules, infection, and mobility (it takes half-a-second). Poor resident lady says "wait, wait, can you go back? WHERE is the clitoris?" "THAT'S where the clitoris is? I never understood. Thank you." She was wearing a wedding ring too. . .

How could she not be joking?

 

[xffan624]

I'm a "sensitive exam" model/instructor and I'm contracted by several medical, nursing, and PA schools, and some residency programs.

I was training a group of internal medicine residents for a program which only selects foreign trained MDs. My co-teacher was doing the initial demonstration exam. She gets to the part where she demonstrates checking under the clitoral hood for nodules, infection, and mobility (it takes half-a-second). Poor resident lady says "wait, wait, can you go back? WHERE is the clitoris?" "THAT'S where the clitoris is? I never understood. Thank you." She was wearing a wedding ring too. . .

If she was trained in a school in a conservative muslim region, I could see this making sense.

 

[db4277]

If she was trained in a school in a conservative muslim region, I could see this making sense.

She was also wearing a hijab.

 

[deleted407021]

If she was trained in a school in a conservative muslim region, I could see this making sense.

They probably cut her's off when she was a little girl.

 

[Pholaffle]

This one dude in my program actually thinks he can swing by with just A 5 on AP physics. The only other marks to his credentials are being a member of the premed club and doing secretary work at the hospital. Probably the most obstinate premed I've run into.

 

[Lawpy]

This one dude in my program actually thinks he can swing by with just A 5 on AP physics. The only other marks to his credentials are being a member of the premed club and doing secretary work at the hospital. Probably the most obstinate premed I've run into.

Well if it's a 5 in AP Physics B, then yeah he's a noob. A 5 in AP Physics C (Mechanics and/or E&M) is pretty impressive so he can swing by in the intro level physics courses at least

 

[Goro]

Some people have absolutely no door between mouth and brain.

Oh yeah the same person told a girl "You're beautiful. Are you Mexican?" The girl said "No." The person responded "UGH. No one around here is Mexican. It's OK - I don't blame you for not being Mexican."

 

[infinitessimal]

This isn't quite premed, but it happened in an anthropology class my freshman year. We were talking about Lucy the hominid, and how her bones give us insight into her age, gender, and physique. The professor was saying that her pelvic bones were much wider than those of chimpanzees, indicating they were better adapted to giving birth to offspring more similar to humans than chimps. At this point, a girl in the class raises her hand and says, "Wait, does this mean we can tell if she had her cherry popped?"

The same girl, on a different day in the same class, when talking about evolution of nipples: "Wait, so if men don't need them, why would they keep them?" To which the (male) prof replies "Well, I like mine!" And then gets beet red because everyone in class starts laughing.

 

[Lawpy]

Interesting/funny article on premeds lol

5. They haggle with their teachers for extra points.

As a teaching assistant, I would have been rich if my pre-med students gave me a dime every time they nagged me for partial credit on questions that they had gotten completely wrong.

4. They use questionable tactics to get good grades.

Some of them may turn to study drugs like adderall, dexedrine, provigil, and ritalin. Others will beg upperclassmen for copies of old exams, which give them an unfair advantage over their classmates.

3. They horde leadership positions and then run organizations into the ground.

To pad their résumés, they run for the presidency of science clubs and volunteer organizations, and then fail to fulfill their responsibilities because they are too busy studying.

2. They game the system to get good grades.

By strategically dropping any class that is not going well and carefully picking courses taught by the easiest professors they ensure themselves a good grade point average.

1. They are not motivated by curiosity.

If they ask a question in class, it’s often to find out what will be on an upcoming exam. Some of them volunteer to work in a lab on real research projects, but they don’t give it their all because they have no passion for scientific inquiry — it’s just another line on their résumés.

This pretty much summarizes this thread into 5 points lol.

 

[Eremba]

Med student (NOT PRE-med): (after case presentation): will this be on the exam??? all this info we have to learn is stressful. I don't understand why you don't just tell us what's on the exams so we know what to study....

Dean of com: welcome to med school. *scoffs and walks away.

Me (in my head): oh. My. God.

 

[acceptmeplease]

Med student (NOT PRE-med): (after case presentation): will this be on the exam??? all this info we have to learn is stressful. I don't understand why you don't just tell us what's on the exams so we know what to study....

Dean of com: welcome to med school. *scoffs and walks away.

Me (in my head): oh. My. God.

Wow. Anything is fair game on our tests, I can't imagine it being any different at other schools.

 

[Goro]

That kid has been in every class of mine for the past ten years!

Med student (NOT PRE-med): (after case presentation): will this be on the exam??? all this info we have to learn is stressful. I don't understand why you don't just tell us what's on the exams so we know what to study....

Dean of com: welcome to med school. *scoffs and walks away.

Me (in my head): oh. My. God.

 

[allantois]

That kid has been in every class of mine for the past ten years!

It's a fair question in undergrad

 

[Conflagration]

Not premed, but thought I should share:

My sister gave me a lecture about job security after I told her I wanted to get a PhD in Biomathematics. She's trying to be a comic book artist.

 

[allantois]

Not premed, but thought I should share:

My sister gave me a lecture about job security after I told her I wanted to get a PhD in Biomathematics. She's trying to be a comic book artist.

Well, that made me laugh

 

[Conflagration]

Well, that made me laugh

The ultimate kicker? She's the eldest. I'll be the only one with a Bachelor's degree out of the three of us and I'll get it in the same time as my idiot brother took to get his AAS in Auto Repair.

 

[xffan624]

The ultimate kicker? She's the eldest. I'll be the only one with a Bachelor's degree out of the three of us and I'll get it in the same time as my idiot brother took to get his AAS in Auto Repair.

The brother probably has the best chance of not being unemployed.

 

[Conflagration]

The brother probably has the best chance of not being unemployed.

Although true, he didn't need to take almost 4 years for an AA degree.

 

[blackroses]

Not always true. Some programs that award only an Associates Degree are competitive and require the applicant to take a year (or even two) of prerequisites before applying to the program. Take most 2-year nursing programs, for example. You take at least a year and a half of prerequisites, which must be completed before applying. The application date for some is early enough that you have to take a gap year before applying. Then you spend 9 months sitting on your butt after you've applied waiting to get admitted, then you have 2 years of school. So technically it would take 3-4 years and you only come out with an Associates Degree.

Now I have no idea if something like this affected your brother's case, but it's a little ridiculous to act like everyone MUST complete a degree in a specific amount of time.

 

[Conflagration]

Not always true. Some programs that award only an Associates Degree are competitive and require the applicant to take a year (or even two) of prerequisites before applying to the program. Take most 2-year nursing programs, for example. You take at least a year and a half of prerequisites, which must be completed before applying. The application date for some is early enough that you have to take a gap year before applying. Then you spend 9 months sitting on your butt after you've applied waiting to get admitted, then you have 2 years of school. So technically it would take 3-4 years and you only come out with an Associates Degree.

Now I have no idea if something like this affected your brother's case, but it's a little ridiculous to act like everyone MUST complete a degree in a specific amount of time.

Well, my brother's case was more of a "well I got drunk before writing this paper and I left in the substitutions that I thought were humorous in my drunken stupor like replacing 'places' with 'penises' in an essay about setting"

EDIT: Things like "the author must take great care in the penises he uses in his work" come to mind.

 

[Eremba]

Wow. Anything is fair game on our tests, I can't imagine it being any different at other schools.

Yeah. It's all fair game.
It was good times, though, seeing the dean's face. Haha.

 

[DoctorofDelight]

Med student (NOT PRE-med): (after case presentation): will this be on the exam??? all this info we have to learn is stressful. I don't understand why you don't just tell us what's on the exams so we know what to study....

Dean of com: welcome to med school. *scoffs and walks away.

Me (in my head): oh. My. God.

OMG I remember that. I cringed after hearing that exchange. Felt bad for her but the dean was right.

 

[dbeast]

Oh yeah the same person told a girl "You're beautiful. Are you Mexican?" The girl said "No." The person responded "UGH. No one around here is Mexican. It's OK - I don't blame you for not being Mexican."

Some people have absolutely no door between mouth and brain.

Those thoughts shouldn't even be in the brain in the first place...

 

[whatever5]

Sorority girl in my MCAT prep course - "Yeah I think I'm gonna major in ALS during med school, that's definitely the specialty for me".

I blame the ice bucket challenge.

 

[looncat]

They probably cut her's off when she was a little girl.

What a ridiculous and completely ignorant thing to say. Female genital mutilation is not a muslim thing, it's a tribal thing, islam doesn't condone harming yourself and it's very rare for someone in a non-tribal setting to be mutilated.

 

[jagster92]

What a ridiculous and completely ignorant thing to say. Female genital mutilation is not a muslim thing, it's a tribal thing, islam doesn't condone harming yourself and it's very rare for someone in a non-tribal setting to be mutilated.

At least until recently it has been quite common in the Egyptian culture.

 

[looncat]

At least until recently it has been quite common in the Egyptian culture.

Egypt's problem is/was a tribal and cultural issue that spread from nearby countries. I was just stressing that it's not a muslim thing (in fact the quran even states that a woman can file for divorce if she is sexually dissatisfied with her partner) and assuming that this woman has been mutilated because she wears a hijab is ignorant...I just didn't want misinformation to spread.

 

[touchpause13]

I just want to know where she thought the clit was

 

[mehc012]

I just want to know where she thought the clit was

I don't know why everyone assumes people are well-educated on this stuff...have you never known someone from a Bible Belt state? Cuz let me tell you, I had the misfortune of undergoing 7 straight years of sex ed in VA (changed schools a lot, they all had different timelines) and I would be shocked if ANYone from that state knew such details. I was told completely incorrect anatomy by my health teachers, who also struggled with bacteria vs viruses and whether pregnancy ended after 9 full mo or at the beginning of the 9th month. They were not allowed to discuss birth control. One of them could not for the life of her pronounce 'testosterone' or even 'vagina'. I actually thought, for a good portion of 6th grade, that girls had a 'virgina' until they had sex, and then it was called a 'vagina', because that was the only way I could reconcile the crap they were spewing with what I'd heard before. When they tried to do the 'condom-banana' demo, they did it backwards.
Thankfully my mom had nursing textbooks and gave me her own rundown as soon as they started bringing it up at school. Many kids don't have such luck.

 

[touchpause13]

I don't know why everyone assumes people are well-educated on this stuff...have you never known someone from a Bible Belt state? Cuz let me tell you, I had the misfortune of undergoing 7 straight years of sex ed in VA (changed schools a lot, they all had different timelines) and I would be shocked if ANYone from that state knew such details. I was told completely incorrect anatomy by my health teachers, who also struggled with bacteria vs viruses and whether pregnancy ended after 9 full mo or at the beginning of the 9th month. They were not allowed to discuss birth control. One of them could not for the life of her pronounce 'testosterone' or even 'vagina'. I actually thought, for a good portion of 6th grade, that girls had a 'virgina' until they had sex, and then it was called a 'vagina', because that was the only way I could reconcile the crap they were spewing with what I'd heard before. When they tried to do the 'condom-banana' demo, they did it backwards.
Thankfully my mom had nursing textbooks and gave me her own rundown as soon as they started bringing it up at school. Many kids don't have such luck.

Oh I know... I had Catholic School sex ed... so that was essentially worthless. I love how they are allowed to straight up lie to students about stuff. I knew someone who was taught that condoms didn't protect against HIV because the HIV molecule was "too small" smdh. I'm legit curious where she thought her clit was tho!

 

[Itisneverlupus]

Well, if it is foreign graduates (if I remember correctly), perhaps the language barrier may have called for some confusion. Maybe she hasn't heard the term enough times, while also looking at the location/definition.

Just a possibility.

 

[mehc012]

Oh I know... I had Catholic School sex ed... so that was essentially worthless. I love how they are allowed to straight up lie to students about stuff. I knew someone who was taught that condoms didn't protect against HIV because the HIV molecule was "too small" smdh. I'm legit curious where she thought her clit was tho!

She probably didn't think about it at all. Also not as rare as many people seem to think.

 

[deleted407021]

What a ridiculous and completely ignorant thing to say. Female genital mutilation is not a muslim thing, it's a tribal thing, islam doesn't condone harming yourself and it's very rare for someone in a non-tribal setting to be mutilated.

Did I say it was a "muslim thing"? No, I did not. Do authorities often turn a blind eye on such behavior in some islamic and african countries? Absolutely.

Courtesy of UNICEF.

Blowing yourself up in a mall is a muslim thing, though.

 

[looncat]

Did I say it was a "muslim thing"? No, I did not. Do authorities often turn a blind eye on such behavior in some islamic and african countries? Absolutely.

Courtesy of UNICEF.

Blowing yourself up in a mall is a muslim thing, though.

No, you didn't explicitly say it was a muslim thing, you only offensively assumed that she's been mutilated because she wears a hijab. I'm well aware of the problem in these countries, which by the way are also plagued with war and famine that their government also ignores. And this map only proves my point as the large majority of muslim countries aren't even on there.

Also your ending quote, whether it was a joke or not, reveals your bigotry and ignorance, you contribute to cultural insensitivity and are disgusting.

 

[deleted407021]

No, you didn't explicitly say it was a muslim thing, you only offensively assumed that she's been mutilated because she wears a hijab. I'm well aware of the problem in these countries, which by the way are also plagued with war and famine that their government also ignores. And this map only proves my point as the large majority of muslim countries aren't even on there.

Also your ending quote, whether it was a joke or not, reveals your bigotry and ignorance, you contribute to cultural insensitivity and are disgusting.

Your last statement constitutes a personal attack and is against the Terms of Service. Chill out.

 

[mehc012]

Did I say it was a "muslim thing"? No, I did not.
Blowing yourself up in a mall is a muslim thing, though.

Yeah, you pretty much did. That is the straightforward interpretation of your post, particularly in the context you were responding in. To throw any other meaning in there requires some mental calisthenics. You may move forward to a different point from here on out, and hey, maybe the distraction will work and maybe you'll even win this internet argument, but at the end of the day, you still made an unnecessary joke that rubbed some people wrong because it did imply a certain association with that culture.

Plus, you're still making tactless jokes, like your subtext there. I'm not saying that we should all be PC all the time, but when you've clearly already angered someone and raised their hackles over cultural sensitivity, maybe that's the time to holster it, no?

 

[looncat]

What is the point of that last map? My statement that the majority of countries with muslim governments aren't part of the FGM map is still true. Also really calling you disgusting for being a bigot is a violation of terms but you insulting the entire muslim population somehow isn't? Nice.

Edit: Apparently you've removed the map you posted of the muslim population of the world; watch out, you don't want to back peddle too fast or you may hurt yourself.