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Funny quotes from "less informed" premeds

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical Allopathic [ MD ]' started by TheGloaming, 03.28.11.

  1. MediCynical

    MediCynical Custom User Title

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    SDN Members don't see this ad. (About Ads)
    well that's a relief
  2. kcin

    kcin

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    You got me all excited when I saw there was a fourth page of this, and this is all I get? :(

    Thanks bro
  3. rHinO1

    rHinO1 Grindin' Until I'm Tired

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    haha, no. Although I enjoy a good DO or Carib joke, I respect them. I remember the same kid used to ask me if I would go the DO route, and I would always say "I would do whatever I had to do to become a doctor."

    His answer was always "not me, MD only." :rolleyes:

    Nobody I work with at the hospital believes he is actually at a DO school, except me. He was a strange bird and probably won't be well liked amongst his peers or patients, but I don't perceive him as being a liar.
  4. elmnt61

    elmnt61

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    "Bio majors can't study abroad!" -in a condescending, "you're stupid for thinking that," kind of voice.




    I studied abroad.
  5. cliffhuxtableDO

    cliffhuxtableDO Hand sanitizer on deck

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    i study a broad, or two :cool:
    yunsenb likes this.
  6. RogueUnicorn

    RogueUnicorn rawr.

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  7. YouNeverKnow22

    YouNeverKnow22

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    disagree. I've studied quite a few broads.
  8. halethsonofhama

    halethsonofhama Big Easy

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    I thought I got to use a calculator too. But thats because my only study material for the MCAT was Kaplans 5 volume set. The "practice problems" in that series was completely unlike the MCAT

    Ex.
    you have 2.3 moles of hydrogen and combust it in 5.14 moles Oxygen to form how many moles of water?

    Now how the hell am I supposed to do that without a calculator? use my mind!?!?


    ALSO kaplan sucks because I didn't even know the MCAT was passage based until halfway through my studying once I finally took on of those "official MCATs"

    ...I'm not the smartest pre-med out there
  9. sgtbrushes

    sgtbrushes Class of 2016

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    I lol'ed.
  10. halethsonofhama

    halethsonofhama Big Easy

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    I used to think "I can't wait to be accepted... then I can be done with all this pre-med BS and not have to compete anymore."

    But back then I really didn't care about what specialty I ended up in so with that mindset... my statement sorta makes sets
  11. Old Grunt

    Old Grunt 2000 yard stare

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    Wow. That's just some painful stuff right there.
  12. HBSlim

    HBSlim

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    Seeing as I've been out of school for a little while, I'm hoping I don't make an ass of myself here, but that'd just be 1.15 moles of water right? (2 moles H per 1 mole H20.) Waiting for the derp de ders if I'm wrong...
  13. Old Grunt

    Old Grunt 2000 yard stare

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    There are a hefty number that need multiple surgeries to correct congenital heart anomalies. You'll see it on your Peds rotation and the surgeons that do it are uber specialized.

    Lest anyone is too hard on a high schooler for being ambitious, I can think of a lot of my friends who weren't terribly motivated in high school who are now neurosurgeons or some other crazy medical specialty.

    Sometimes people just need some time to get where they are going.
    taniaekal likes this.
  14. iniquus

    iniquus they reminisce over you

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    Well the way the question is phrased:

    you have 2.3 moles of hydrogen and combust it in 5.14 moles Oxygen to form how many moles of water?

    I interpret it as 2.3 mol of H2 (g) and 5.14 mol of O2 (g)

    So, 2.3 mol would be the answer. I see what you did though, if they just meant H...but I think that's uncommon because H2 is the form you expect hydrogen to be in.
  15. HBSlim

    HBSlim

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    ^ hadn't thought of that, I do believe you are correct.

    Good thing I took the MCAT 2 years ago :smuggrin:
  16. halethsonofhama

    halethsonofhama Big Easy

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    I didn't put much though into the question. The point is that Kaplans questions needed a calculator (or at least 5 minutes to do long division on paper). Once I figured out a calculator wasn't allowed I freaked out for another week trying to do these questions by hand and failing miserably.

    They also gave a poop load of wrong facts; My favorite was in gen chem (not to be confused with genkem) where they stated Hydrogen always needs to have an octet of electrons.
  17. HBSlim

    HBSlim

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    :laugh: I always loved finding those little tid-bits of knowledge in review books.
  18. RogueUnicorn

    RogueUnicorn rawr.

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    no, that question didn't need a calculator at all as at least two posters have demonstrated. you're just a derp.
    Salt Salt likes this.
  19. halethsonofhama

    halethsonofhama Big Easy

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    At my school, students who donate blood on campus get these super-duper-cool neon bandages that wrap around the arm (like a sweatband).

    Most people leave them on for 10 minutes and toss them. Bunch of people in my classes leave them on for a day or more.
    -could be they want to show off that they donated blood
    -could also be that they are the type of pre-med who gets super excited about any medical procedure they get and want to make it last. Not unlike a kid who sleeps in his haloween costume and tries to wear it the next day


    As for specifics examples;
    -back at my CC and armenian pre-med (Yes, his ethnicity is important to know) was talking to my chem professor about what he wants in life.
    "It won't take much for me to be happy. Really just owning a nice house on the beach, A BMW X series."
    "But thats just surface stuff! what about a family?"
    "I already have a family!"
    "Oh! you're married. good for you"
    "....no I mean I already have a mom and dad"
    (not so much his lack of knowledge but his lack of.... admirable priorities)


    Overhearing some students studying for the MCAT
    #1 "Man this is tough.. we really need to start taking Fish Oil"
    #2 "why?"
    #1 "Cause it makes you smarter"
    #2 "ooooh yeah... it makes your brain bigger"
    #1: "yeah; something to do with the fatty acids"
  20. 45408

    45408 aw buddy

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    Most of the dumb pre-meds I knew were just dumb, not arrogant and dumb :laugh: they failed out the old-fashioned way - big fat C's, D's and F's in chemistry and physics.
  21. halethsonofhama

    halethsonofhama Big Easy

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    Gimme a break; I haven't though about gen chem (or any math) for about a year now. Thinking back, the Kaplan questions would have given the amounts in grams. Meaning conversion into moles. If not being able to do that easily makes me a derpish derpity derpster then.... so derp it
  22. vivalavie

    vivalavie Operating Thetan Level VI

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    yeah... the kaplan questions are harder than the actual MCAT but I thought that was a good thing. I was pleasantly surprised by how easy the MCAT was after studying the Kaplan practice tests. Plus, you never need a calculator, even for Kaplan, you just have to do order of magnitude approximations and some rounding... not that hard.
  23. CaptainSSO

    CaptainSSO

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    Awesome.
  24. Pierson5

    Pierson5

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    I kind of feel bad for them. I'm at a CC and had a discussion with another "pre-med" before trig class. It's near the end of the semester and grades come up. She is complaining how trig is difficult and gen chem is even worse. She says she will be OK though, she has a C in gen chem and should be able to pull a B in Trig... :eyebrow:
  25. halethsonofhama

    halethsonofhama Big Easy

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    OK I get it. I suck at mental math.



    While I did like the fact the the MCAT questions were easier... the Kaplan questions did not help me prepare for them. I spent way too much time working problems out that I would get distracted from the concepts I should be learning. Not to mention they didn't give any practice with passages. It doesn't matter how well you know the material, if you don't know how to interpret passages you won't do well.


    Not to mention their "Kaplan exclusives" were ridiculous. Like I am expected to believe that they came up with "OIL RIG" and "LEO the lion goes GER" for RedOx reactions. During the verbal reasoning I think one of the exclusives was "Read the passage before you answer any questions"
    ....no poop sherloop!
  26. vivalavie

    vivalavie Operating Thetan Level VI

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    Considering they were the first test prep organization ever established, the first ones to realize that you could actually prepare for a standardized test... I don't really doubt that they came up with any of those.
  27. Myuu

    Myuu 例えば、貴方の名前を忘れてしまうとか。 。。 Moderator Emeritus

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    Those are classic mnemonics that have been used in general chemistry courses for ages.
  28. torshi

    torshi

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    this fat chick says shes planning on majoring in neuroscience because she wants to become a neurosurgeon...............
  29. anriar

    anriar MS-3

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    Uh...as a Kaplan instructor, I don't think you suck at mental math, I think you weren't paying attention. After taking the diagnostic, we do 3 passages per session IN CLASS, then additional ones as homework. In fact, halfway through the course we just now started working on discrete problems.

    I'm not making a judgment about the value or worth of a Kaplan course, but we definitely work passage-based problems from the second class onward.

    P.S. For what it's worth, I'm 99% sure that Kaplan didn't invent those acronyms. My high school chem teacher used "Leo goes ger" and she was a walking fossil. By which I mean she was awesomely experienced.
  30. 45408

    45408 aw buddy

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    :laugh: I knew a guy who majored in psychology because he wanted to go into neurosurgery, and a girl who also majored in psychology because she wanted to be a psychiatrist.




    She's a psychiatric resident now, and he's almost done with his MD/PhD (in neuroscience) with plans to apply for neurosurgery. ;)
  31. Frazier

    Frazier turtle in a rabbit race Lifetime Donor

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    I think his punchline was that she was a 'fat chick' - the major was just extraneous info. :zip:
  32. TornadoChaser

    TornadoChaser

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    Haters. All of you.
  33. music2doc

    music2doc Student of Mad Doctoring

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    This thread is hilarious! I kind of feel bad for these students, but then... I have one of my own from today at a pre-health leadership meeting:

    Student A: Do we have a chiropractor coming?
    Me: No...
    Student B: You know... I haven't had much interest from students in chiropractors
    Student A: It's ok. DOs are a lot like chiropractors anyway!
    Me: umm... I'm pretty sure a lot of DOs would be a bit offended at that statement.
    Student A: Nah. I know several chiropractic DOs!
    /FACEPALM


    I don't think it helps that we're a multidisciplinary program and we have a lot of non-trad students, though.... None of us can know everything about all health professions. And it is a great team. Sounds like some of these people mentioned really are clueless. Completely clueless.
  34. OzelloPiRat

    OzelloPiRat

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    We were discussing the ethics of stem cell research one day.
    Another premed sitting close by stated, "I don't get it, it's not like plants have rights!"


    This person is currently a med student out West.
    And if he is reading this, yes, I am still laughing at you :)
    lynn0991 likes this.
  35. rhesuspieces

    rhesuspieces

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    Did anyone see the episode of How I Met Your Mother last week where they're all discussing their "gaps"...i.e. pieces of knowledge that they should possess as an adult, but for some reason, don't? One character thinks that the North Pole is imaginary.

    Maybe "stem cells" were this guy's "gap."

    Or maybe he's just a ****ing idiot.
  36. sedesh

    sedesh

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    These are all funny. Check this out, I once saw a guy say...

    Haha, way off buddy. Use farfalle's equation for this one...
    [water] = 0.270 * square root (2.3 to the 5.14th power)

    Did it in my head. Answer is 2.3 moles of water.
  37. OzelloPiRat

    OzelloPiRat

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    There was def a gap. I won't assume what kind. We did stay silent for a min and let him dig himself a hole. He was being completely serious, tho.
    I don't know if we ever corrected him, thinking back on it. It was one of those "ooohhhhhhkkkkaaaaaayyyyyyyy" moments.
  38. Old Grunt

    Old Grunt 2000 yard stare

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    I think you guys are inadvertently contributing to the hilarity of this thread.

    It's good you know Farfalle's equation though. You'll use that one every day as a med student to calculate how many charts you can accurately hold while walking at the same time.
  39. aSagacious

    aSagacious Send in the clowns Moderator Emeritus

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    Answer: 1 tablet PC with cascaded processes
  40. Bza

    Bza MS4!!!

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    :eek::smack:
  41. apumic

    apumic Oracle of the Sheet

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    Nevertheless, open more than a couple of chart windows on one of those things a... [FREEZE]
  42. MetabolismASE

    MetabolismASE

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    LMAOOOO :laugh::laugh::thumbup:
  43. MetabolismASE

    MetabolismASE

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    Lmao this so hillarious I would foward to going to my chem class to see this kid!!:cool:

    Major props if you can take a pic of the card and upload it .
  44. Mazdave

    Mazdave

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    "[There's a school called] Case Western Reserve? I think you're making it up."
    Last edited: 03.30.11
  45. Essie49

    Essie49

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    I'm an engineering major, so I don't encounter a lot of pre-meds.
    We do have plenty of social gems like the guy that wears a japanese schoolgirl outfit to class and another that wears a squirrel tail.
  46. aSagacious

    aSagacious Send in the clowns Moderator Emeritus

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    Good point. I'll just bide my time until Alienware decides to produce a tablet.
  47. Wolfman89

    Wolfman89 2 Legit 2 Quit

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    Wow, seriously? I'm not quite sure what to say to that...
    jt66250 likes this.
  48. Chops369

    Chops369

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    Pics or it didn't happen.
  49. rhesuspieces

    rhesuspieces

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    I knew a pre-med who tie-dyed all of his clothes. ALL OF THEM. Not just his t-shirts but his khaki cargo shorts, his baseball caps, and I'm assuming his underwear though I have no evidence to support that. It was like taking OChem with a rainbow.
  50. Mbeas

    Mbeas Hi I'm Kate

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    i hope this occurred once?

    edit: SDN now has a message thanking me for my post...no, THANK YOU SDN!
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