Funny quotes from "less informed" premeds

[deleted407021]

My mama keeps wondering why I don't just become a CNA and "work my way up to doctor".

"After your years of exemplary work cleaning excrement off of exam room floors, the board has decided that you deserve a promotion. Starting next week, Mr. Senpai, you will be performing open heart surgeries."

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[bakedbeans18]

My mama keeps wondering why I don't just become a CNA and "work my way up to doctor".

"After your years of exemplary work cleaning excrement off of exam room floors, the board has decided that you deserve a promotion. Starting next week, Mr. Senpai, you will be performing open heart surgeries."

"Hi, Jerry Jones? Yeah, this is bakedbeans18 here - I was just wondering if I could be starting QB for the cowboys this Sunday?"

 

[Doctor Strange]

I was on a premed panel recently as an MS1.

Premed: "god. I would give anything to be in your shoes right now. "

Me: "speechless."

I did a similar thing recently and had a student ask, "what's one thing you would do differently?" and I answered without thinking, "not go to med school."

Whoops.

 

[OneTwoThreeFour]

I did a similar thing recently and had a student ask, "what's one thing you would do differently?" and I answered without thinking, "not go to med school."

Whoops.

Well, with any luck you'll weed out the smart ones!

 

[medicalmnt]

-someone- "what's the point of being a doctor when robots will be doing everything in the next 25years?"

-someone- "why dont you go to harvard to become a doctor?"

-someone (less than 3.2 gpa havent taken mcat yet. applying this upcoming cycle)- "i dont want to stay in the eastcoast anymore. i'm only applying to california schools"

 

[bakedbeans18]

someone (less than 3.2 gpa havent taken mcat yet. applying this upcoming cycle)- "i dont want to stay in the eastcoast anymore. i'm only applying to california schools"

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

dumb fck

 

[Deadlifts]

I was on a premed panel recently as an MS1.

Premed: "god. I would give anything to be in your shoes right now. "

Me: "speechless."

Well, what kind of shoes were you wearing?

 

[13132]

-someone- "what's the point of being a doctor when robots will be doing everything in the next 25years?"

-someone- "why dont you go to harvard to become a doctor?"

-someone (less than 3.2 gpa havent taken mcat yet. applying this upcoming cycle)- "i dont want to stay in the eastcoast anymore. i'm only applying to california schools"

I work in a research lab and the grad students LOVE to say stuff like that to me daily. Its getting old.

 

[abrakazam]

"I'm double majoring in biology/nursing so that I can work as a nurse to pay my way through medical school."

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

I work in a research lab and the grad students LOVE to say stuff like that to me daily. Its getting old.

Are they idiots? Their pipetting is replaceable with robots. Our doctor thinking is not. Sure, a minority scientists get to stay in robot land to think, but the true hit will come to 95% of scientists that are glorified lab oompa loompas.

 

[bakedbeans18]

I work in a research lab and the grad students LOVE to say stuff like that to me daily. Its getting old.

Oh man, this dirtbag graduate student in a lab I used to work in always liked to pull that crap. My response: I'll have made enough money before that happens that I can retire comfortably when it does. In the meantime, have fun with your pipettes for the next 50 years.

 

[13132]

Are they idiots? Their pipetting is replaceable with robots. Our doctor thinking is not. Sure, a minority scientists get to stay in robot land to think, but the true hit will come to 95% of scientists that are glorified lab oompa loompas.

Well...they all think they are going to end up being tenured profs. Hard to argue with someone who is making delusional assumptions.

 

[235009]

My mama keeps wondering why I don't just become a CNA and "work my way up to doctor".

"After your years of exemplary work cleaning excrement off of exam room floors, the board has decided that you deserve a promotion. Starting next week, Mr. Senpai, you will be performing open heart surgeries."

Has she been playing The Sims?

 

[bakedbeans18]

Has she been playing The Sims?

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA THAT USERNAME.

Stop. You had me at 'meat tornado'.

 

[deleted407021]

Has she been playing The Sims?

No, but she grew up in a world that told kids if they wanted anything in life, they had to claw their way to it from the very bottom.

If a meal has meat, Mr. Swanson, explain beef jerky.

 

[Got Heem]

If a meal has meat, Mr. Swanson, explain beef jerky.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denying_the_antecedent

 

[deleted407021]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denying_the_antecedent

Umm...uhh...You're an inverse error!

 

[Spinach Dip]

From a pseudo-friend who is barely competitive....

Last June: "Yeah, I'm only applying to Harvard, Johns Hopkins, and a few other places because I only want the best."

Recently: "Harvard and Johns Hopkins are full of self-entitled snobs. I'd never go there."



....okay....

 

[deleted407021]

From a pseudo-friend who is barely competitive....

Last June: "Yeah, I'm only applying to Harvard, Johns Hopkins, and a few other places because I only want the best."

Recently: "Harvard and Johns Hopkins are full of self-entitled snobs. I'd never go there."



....okay....

You would think that if someone made a career decision, they would at least have spent ten minutes on the Internet researching it. This kind of crap is so common.

 

[Spinach Dip]

You would think that if someone made a career decision, they would at least have spent ten minutes on the Internet researching it. This kind of crap is so common.

Wait, you mean deciding to go to med school is a life-changing decision? I always thought it was one of those things you could just pick up on a whim!



(that was sarcasm btw)

 

[deleted407021]

Wait, you mean deciding to go to med school is a life-changing decision? I always thought it was one of those things you could just pick up on a whim!



(that was sarcasm btw)

I know, right? I just thought, "hey, I made a B in gen bio, and docs make bank like my uncle, so what the heck, bro?"

There were two such gentlemen sitting across from my computer in the library last semester:

Bro: "I visited my uncle last week. He's a doctor and he has like a mansion and sports cars".
Brah: "F*ck!"
Bro: "I need to get my **** together so I can go to med school. I need to quit smoking though, 'cause they drug test."
Brah: "F*ck that ****!"

 

[Mr Roboto]

"I'm applying at State University. Which one are you applying to?"

 

[mehc012]

Wait, you mean deciding to go to med school is a life-changing decision? I always thought it was one of those things you could just pick up on a whim!



(that was sarcasm btw)

I totally picked it up on a whim!
Then I did internet research and am spending 2yrs prepping my app, because I was completely not ready at the time.
But the decision itself was a whim!

 

[feli_owl]

After I told her I was shadowing an endocrinologist.

Her: "What's that?"
Me: "The doctor mostly treats diabetes and thyroid problems."
Her: "So can you feel my thyroid to tell me if I have diabetes?"

 

[DeVry Cum Laude]

 

[Boolean]

Looks like a normal Tuesday?

 

[NorthernMav]

Her: "I farted"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Her: "Oh no, wait... its ****"

 

[mehc012]

Her: "I farted"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Her: "Oh no, wait... its ****"

Yes, an important aspect of the medical application process is learning to differentiate sharts and farts.

 

[grizdad]

Yes, an important aspect of the medical application process is learning to differentiate sharts and farts.

They will teach you that in M1.

 

[Reckoner]

Yes, an important aspect of the medical application process is learning to differentiate sharts and farts.

I believe Medicare reimburses clean up at different rates

 

[mehc012]

They will teach you that in M1.

Though you don't truly gain an appreciation for the finer nuances and import of the difference until M3, I presume.

 

[Guero]

Well, what kind of shoes were you wearing?

I be like, "You can't touch *these* Manolo Blahniks, sweetie pie!" ::struts off, beard and all::


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[La Presse]

I be like, "You can't touch *these* Manolo Blahniks, sweetie pie!" ::struts off, beard and all::


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How do you know...that brand?

Anyway, my parents have a family friend who supposedly got into med school after majoring in nursing.

Parents- Nursing is a shortcut to medicine.
Me - Uhm...well...not...
Parents - Shut up!! Start researching nursing programs so you can apply.

Now they wanna get involved.....

 

[Guero]

How do you know...that brand?

. . .

I know my shoes, girl!


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[VVH1003]

Today in class, Ken & Barbie get called out by the prof for sharing answers on an assignment. Their defense? Together, they "combine to make one brain." #gottalove9amclasses #ourfuture #whyamIhere

 

[fayevalentine]

My own embarrassing/naive story - When I transferred to my current university, I was convinced that pre-dent was a major. An ACTUAL major, not a concentration . I probably told 10 different people I was a pre-dent major before my advisor clued me in.

 

[Juan Solo]

Premeds talking about AOA.

 

[IncognitoGuy]

Premeds talking about AOA.

 

[aich]

Just the other day this girl wouldn't believe me when I told her that the MCAT is changing and that she should adjust accordingly.

 

[Gregor Wiesmann]

Well, what kind of shoes were you wearing?

 

[NeuroticTwilightSparkle]

I had someone tell me they'd do their "residency in diagnostic medicine like Dr. House"

 

[235009]

I had someone tell me they'd do their "residency in diagnostic medicine like Dr. House"

Did you tell them it's called internal medicine ;-)

 

[mmj277]

Overheard this being said with gusto while walking through my UG campus the other day:

"I don't care if I end up at a low tier medical school. I'll just kill the first two years, get straight As, and then transfer to a better school!"

 

[Marine to MD]

Real life....

 

[La Presse]

Real life....

hahaha dude...I can't breathe.

It may be worth noting that Caribbean schools do have residency placements but none of them are LCME approved. Get the hell out of here with that.

 

[username456789]

hahaha dude...I can't breathe.

It may be worth noting that Caribbean schools do have residency placements but none of them are LCME approved. Get the hell out of here with that.

Pretty sure "residency placement" is referring to US residencies. Not "Ross University Internal Medicine."

 

[La Presse]

Pretty sure "residency placement" is referring to US residencies. Not "Ross University Internal Medicine."

I am aware. I didn't realize that I would have to specify that.

 

[allantois]

Somebody in the freshman FB group for my school,

" I'm majoring in neurology and hope to study psychopaths one day."

Also, I recently told an uninformed senior who plans to take her MCAT in April next year that it will be a new version of it which will include Psychology, Sociology, and Biochem. I am not at all sure she believed me and said she wasn't planning on taking Biochem

 

[moisne]

"My sister is a neurosurgeon and I want to be like her"

"Oh... How does she like it?"

"She hates studying for the MCAT"

"Wait, what?"

"She's going to major in neurosurgery once she is done with her MCAT"

*smiles and nod*

 

[moisne]

A friend's younger brother (age 16)

"Hey, if I get a 36 on my ACT and perfect score on MCAT whatever that is, could I join you in med school?"

(He also barely got a C in high school chemistry)