Since 10th grade in high school I always knew I wanted to go into science, and probably become a doctor (surgeon) because the job has always seemed really interesting to me. I've always worked really hard in school and gotten near the top of my class in both high school, more so in college.. grades aren't a problem at all (not that it isn't hard). However the much more difficult thing that has always been holding me back is my social anxiety. The forced socialization and shock of freshmen year of college was very stressful because of this but I seemed to get way better at socializing with people in general.
I've also been going to a therapist at the college for 2 years now, but it doesn't seem to help that much. The past school year I was on zoloft, but I found that it doesn't help with anything other than dull my emotions and cause many other problems so I stopped (I am also afraid of long term effects that is basically unknown).
Now that I am a junior in college and I am used to the setting of college I have receded back into my fear of everything from meeting new people, applying for anything that involves talking to authorities (about shadowing, volunteering, etc) and I don't know how to overcome this. Now I don't really have any experience or anything to show for the last two years other than good grades, because it is so hard for me to apply for interviews and talk to people that act as the gateways to good opportunities.
My question is: Anyone here who is either pre-med or a med student that has overcome social anxiety, and are you willing to share how you did it?
I would like to provide a few more ideas:
1. Finding a way to
socialize in a SAFE environment. 12 Step Groups, Support Groups, and Group Therapy are 3 examples of environments that generally have rules, moderators, and a culture of being supportive toward one another.
Having positive social experiences, I believe, is a likely way to turn around social anxiety (for some people). Try to find a place where people are almost guaranteed to be supportive and friendly and use that as a first step toward getting over social anxiety. You can search the internet, call around, and check the link I provided earlier to see if you can find a on-going Social Anxiety support group or group therapy.
2. Try to
figure out the cause of your social anxiety. Some people experience an event or bad treatment (abuse, bullying, etc.) in their lives that brings about social anxiety. Those people can often identify the cause, can often analyze the cause, and mentally process it, with the help of the right psychologist to help turn things around.
(Often times they are subconsciously "generalizing" the source bad treatment. An example of what I mean by that is, for instance, when a child or animal is abused, they will sometimes fear non-abusers similarly to how they fear their abuser: When an animal (cat or dog) use to be beaten, it will often be afraid of getting petted on the head. It will jerk it's head away when it sees your hand rise, mistaking your intention to pet it, for an intention to hit it. A kid who's been beaten will sometimes flinch when you, a non-abuser, raise your hand as well. I think anxiety can work in a similar way when it comes to generalizing - you learn to fear everyone or everyone in a certain category, not ONLY the abuser/bullier/etc.) If you happen to know the cause and are failing to talk about it, you need to find a way to change that. I had a coworker once in a large corporation who was abused by her bosses and coworkers for being a minority. She felt that no one would believe her, that she couldn't talk about it, and feared being fired for financial reasons. Once she reconsidered and opened up to a psychologist (bound by HIPPA privacy laws), things started to change for her for the better. I mention the deal with my coworker because you mentioned "authority figures" in your post. Dealing with corrupt abusive authority figures can lead one to fear other non-abusive authority figures later on.
3.
If you grew up with an addict or alcoholic (or with a mentally ill parent): Drug addicts and alcoholics are well known for playing a mean game called, "
I'm okay,
you're not." They get angry at themselves and their addiction, and shift that blame onto other people. They can ruin a child/teenager/relative/loved one's self esteem. Addicts, when not sober, are known for being accusatory (wrongly accusing others), picking others apart (finding other people's imperfections and dwelling on them), etc. If that is the case, go to an Al-Anon meeting and look up Al-Anon online. They will help you get over social anxiety if you've been the victim of an addict. (If you grew up with a mentally ill parent, a similar pattern may have resulted and you can probably find a different support group for that. Note, some mentally ill people are in denial and will never ever admit their faults or mental illness. If you suspect your parents are mentally ill, they just might be.) And - fyi - other sorts of "addicts," like the ones OverEater's Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Debtor's Anonymous, etc. are designed for, might follow some of the patterns described above.
4.
Role playing: Role playing is a technique where you and a psychologist, a trusted friend, trainer, or adviser, act out a scenario like a job interview (or any social scenario). You play yourself, and they play the interviewer, for example, or vice versa. This way you can get feedback and practice doing things in a way that is likely to gain a positive response in real life. If someone is nervous about a job interview, he might role play the job interview with a psychologist over and over until he feels comfortable in that situation. Then when he goes to a real job interview it's not as scary. (When I use to work in sales, we use to train new hires with some role playing and it worked wonders, especially for the more shy, anxious, nervous people.)
Good luck!
