Heartbroken that she flirted with me, rejected me, claims that we are friends

[ImmunoPharmD]

I met this hot Asian colleague in my P1 year. At first, I never noticed her all that much even when we sat right across from each other because I was still adjusting to P1. Anyways, one time I went to my calculations class 5 minutes early, and I noticed she had her backpack on my desk. Her friend told her to take her backpack off my desk, to which I replied that it's fine. We started to talk, not just us two, but with the group around our area. At that time, I had the confidence to talk because it was a group conversations, and I was starting to get attracted to her because she fits the description (that some of you people accused me of being shallow and trollish ) Soon, we talked one on one and I really started to like her ALOT. Our classmates teased us that we argue like a married couple. Anyways, she kept on denying to our classmates that she likes me, and I kept it quiet. But nevetheless, during our fall finals, we studied together, but we ended up having fun instead.

At this time, I was madly in love, and at the end of our last exam, I told her that I liked her and would like to go out with her. Unfortunately, she said no, and said that I wasn't her type. Later on, I learned that she had a boyfriend, which pissed me off because she flirted with me, but never told me about him. Anyways, in our spring semester, I ignored her to move on, but she would talk to me and occasionally call my name when I'm talking to another female colleague.

I"m so confused about her, so during my fall P2 year, I told her again that I liked her, but she said no. She said that we can be friends. So here's my confusion:


1. Why would she flirt with me even though she had a boyfriend?
2. Why would give me a nickname even though she had a boyfriend?
3. Why could she not leave me alone simply because I don't want to have feelings for her?
4. Why would she only want to hang out when at the time she had a boyfriend?
5. Why would she touch my hands, but never hug me?
6. Why is she so critical of me, such as criticizing me about how I deal with tough situations?
7. Does she know that saying "we're friends" really hurts my feelings?
8. Most people told me that she's materialistic and that she used me because I am smart. Do you guys think she would do that?


Please help me answer these questions so that I can move on.

Thanks!

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[Notecard]

1. Why would she flirt with me even though she had a boyfriend?
Attention
2. Why would give me a nickname even though she had a boyfriend?
Attention
3. Why could she not leave me alone simply because I don't want to have feelings for her?
Attention
4. Why would she only want to hang out when at the time she had a boyfriend?
Attention
5. Why would she touch my hands, but never hug me?
Attention
6. Why is she so critical of me, such as criticizing me about how I deal with tough situations?
Attention
7. Does she know that saying "we're friends" really hurts my feelings?
Probably
8. Most people told me that she's materialistic and that she used me because I am smart. Do you guys think she would do that?
Lol yes. I'm not saying she did, but yeah it's definitely possible.

 

[BMBiology]

8. Most people told me that she's materialistic and that she used me because I am smart. Do you guys think she would do that?


Please help me answer these questions so that I can move on.

Thanks!

She wanted to f*ck your brain, not you.

 

[BenJammin]

Asian? Could you be more specific?

 

[ImmunoPharmD]

She wanted to f*ck your brain, not you.

Why would she do that though? I think she has a sweetness within her, but...sometimes I'm not too sure. I feel like a fool for being used.

 

[neopharma]

I think Notecard is spot on here. I will add, however, that people suck!!!!!!!!

Dating classmates can end up being a horrible disaster anyway.

 

[ImmunoPharmD]

Asian? Could you be more specific?

Well she is fobby, but she is incredibly talkative and is popular amongst the guys. She loves to hang out with people and make friends easily. She is also secretive such as hiding her boyfriend from me...though I'm not sure why, but I felt it would have helped me forget her sooner if she had told me. Her boyfriend happens to be an American guy, which confused me more when she told me that she only date guys of her own nationality.

 

[BenJammin]

Keep in mind that I can only speak from experience but I've found that most Asians will only date other Asians. Sure they'll flirt with you no matter who you are because they love the attention but most Asians won't date you because you wouldn't be someone they would take home to mom and dad.

I had to deal with something like that with this Chinese girl. She was only interested in other Chinese men so I would flirt hard with her and let her know she wasn't going to get anything from me. That drove her to the point where she wanted me like crazy. Never did anything with her but it was a great experience for me.

 

[BenJammin]

Well she is fobby, but she is incredibly talkative and is popular amongst the guys. She loves to hang out with people and make friends easily. She is also secretive such as hiding her boyfriend from me...though I'm not sure why, but I felt it would have helped me forget her sooner if she had told me. Her boyfriend happens to be an American guy, which confused me more when she told me that she only date guys of her own nationality.

That speaks volume, my friend. She's never going to show him to mom and dad. NEVER.

 

[ImmunoPharmD]

Keep in mind that I can only speak from experience but I've found that most Asians will only date other Asians. Sure they'll flirt with you no matter who you are because they love the attention but most Asians won't date you because you wouldn't be someone they would take home to mom and dad.

I had to deal with something like that with this Chinese girl. She was only interested in other Chinese men so I would flirt hard with her and let her know she wasn't going to get anything from me. That drove her to the point where she wanted me like crazy. Never did anything with her but it was a great experience for me.

That speaks volume, my friend. She's never going to show him to mom and dad. NEVER.

But the thing is I"m Asian too, but I'm not her nationality.

 

[BMBiology]

But the thing is I"m Asian too, but I'm not her nationality.

Is she taiwanese or vietnamese?

 

[ImmunoPharmD]

Is she taiwanese or vietnamese?

Err...well I can't reveal directly because one of you guys might be my classmates lol! But here's a hint, she's from the country where plastic surgery is popular.

 

[BMBiology]

Err...well I can't reveal directly because one of you guys might be my classmates lol! But here's a hint, she's from the country where plastic surgery is popular.

Korean!

 

[rxlea]

What a harrowing story

 

[smercer]

What a harrowing story

If only there were a thread about harrowing stories...I bet it would be such a good read.

 

[habeansha]

congrats

 

[Sparda29]

There are millions of women out there. Once you realize that, you find moving on to be very easy.

 

[Tebowed]

pharmcest is no bueno

 

[358265]

tl;dr... just read the first 2-3 sentences. Sounded like I was reading something out of the storytellers section of Penthouse magazine.

Wait, what are we talking about again?

 

[xiphoid2010]

Ah the "we can be friend" touch of death. High school and undergrad flashback!

Dood, don't beg and plea. That's just sad. Hold your heads high and walk away, she might actually second guess herself. Anyway, you'll bump into a lot more girls before finding one that's right for you.

 

[StevePerry]

tl;dr... just read the first 2-3 sentences. Sounded like I was reading something out of the storytellers section of Penthouse magazine.

Wait, what are we talking about again?

Yeah, it went from like full-penetration setup to castrated Oprah drivel in the span of about 2 sentences. to emo kids...

 

[mustang sally]

Sometimes girls just enjoy having male attention. That's probably why she flirted with you; doesn't necessarily mean she wants you as more than a friend. And it's possible that she used you because you're smart, but we don't know her so...

 

[ImmunoPharmD]

So should I stop being friends with her altogether?

 

[smercer]

Sometimes girls just enjoy having male attention. That's probably why she flirted with you; doesn't necessarily mean she wants you as more than a friend. And it's possible that she used you because you're smart, but we don't know her so...

What? You mean every time a girl acknowledges my existence, that does not mean she wants to get it on with me?



Girl was a tease just looking for attention. Some girls like feeling like guys want them. You can do whatever you want with her, but don't let her sucker you out of any money unless you are getting some.

 

[BMBiology]

So should I stop being friends with her altogether?

Yes and stop masturbating to her picture as well

 

[schamj01]

So should I stop being friends with her altogether?

Do what I did.
Step 1: Find a casual aquaintance with her who has a crappy boyfriend.

Step 2: Discuss mutual problems that you have with the opposite gender.

Step 3: Realize you didn't care for your original "love' as much as you did while your new friend breaks up with her boyfriend.

Step 4: Date the aquaintance.

Step 5: Get married, have a child and live happily ever after.

*Disclaimer: The process outlined above probably results in epic failure and heartache...but hey, it worked for me.

 

[notafraid87]

I met this hot Asian colleague in my P1 year. At first, I never noticed her all that much even when we sat right across from each other because I was still adjusting to P1. Anyways, one time I went to my calculations class 5 minutes early, and I noticed she had her backpack on my desk. Her friend told her to take her backpack off my desk, to which I replied that it's fine. We started to talk, not just us two, but with the group around our area. At that time, I had the confidence to talk because it was a group conversations, and I was starting to get attracted to her because she fits the description (that some of you people accused me of being shallow and trollish ) Soon, we talked one on one and I really started to like her ALOT. Our classmates teased us that we argue like a married couple. Anyways, she kept on denying to our classmates that she likes me, and I kept it quiet. But nevetheless, during our fall finals, we studied together, but we ended up having fun instead.

At this time, I was madly in love, and at the end of our last exam, I told her that I liked her and would like to go out with her. Unfortunately, she said no, and said that I wasn't her type. Later on, I learned that she had a boyfriend, which pissed me off because she flirted with me, but never told me about him. Anyways, in our spring semester, I ignored her to move on, but she would talk to me and occasionally call my name when I'm talking to another female colleague.

I"m so confused about her, so during my fall P2 year, I told her again that I liked her, but she said no. She said that we can be friends. So here's my confusion:


1. Why would she flirt with me even though she had a boyfriend?
2. Why would give me a nickname even though she had a boyfriend?
3. Why could she not leave me alone simply because I don't want to have feelings for her?
4. Why would she only want to hang out when at the time she had a boyfriend?
5. Why would she touch my hands, but never hug me?
6. Why is she so critical of me, such as criticizing me about how I deal with tough situations?
7. Does she know that saying "we're friends" really hurts my feelings?
8. Most people told me that she's materialistic and that she used me because I am smart. Do you guys think she would do that?


Please help me answer these questions so that I can move on.

Thanks!

Pretty sure she's Korean. Let me tell you, DO NOT go out with Korean international (fob) females because chances are that they'll use you to get exam answers and such.

Just learn from this and move on. I'm getting a bit worried that you might lose concentration...ignore her, get straight A's and go on w/ your business.

 

[ImmunoPharmD]

Yes and stop masturbating to her picture as well

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of her.

 

[smercer]

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of her.

Yet....

 

[deltaforce]

Almost similar thing happened with me which lasted for 4 years. The reason she showed interest in me for all these 4 years was, she was using me for getting better grades. Things work a little different where I come from and she was not good at studies. She desperately needed help in getting assignments done and other stuff, thats where I came in picture.

Things could certainly be different in your case though. Honestly, don't wreak your head. My dad always told me not to run after the girls, its like city bus service, if you miss one, the next one is always round the corner

One more thing, now onwards when you interact with her, wear a poker face (Learn this, you need this $hit in this world, will help you in the long run) ALWAYS be happy around her and give NO attention. Finally, do NOT add her in your friends list on Facebook. I am not suggesting you just because she rejected you but because she is dishonest and FB thing because you are/were romantically involved with her.

 

[30Percent]

Have coitus with her friend.

 

[joetrisman]

Get a hobby

 

[All4MyDaughter]

Become a priest or monk.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

lmfao.

Dude, move on.

Girl in pharmacy school did a similar thing to me. We flirted for a while, but she always had a boyfriend. Whatever, I'm not a home wrecker. I'd have a few flings during this time to bide my time...nothing serious. But then she just broke up with her boyfriend...and honestly, yeah, I really liked the girl. But when she broke up with the previous dude, all of a sudden we'd be sitting there having lunch together...we'd lock eyes and stare straight at each other for like 20 seconds straight...she's sitting there twirling her hair with her finger...trying not to smile. Seriously...it was palpable. So, obviously, I went for it...she gave me the "you're an atheist, so, no." thing. (She's like hella conservative Christian...so in retrospect...definitely a good call on her part...stupid idea on mine...)

Unlike you, though, I have probably too much self esteem and didn't stew on it. I'm more of a, "Pfft...whatever, ho." type of guy. I was actually pissed she said no. I didn't try to make her like me or whatever because I just assumed she was an idiot for not wanting me. (To this day, the only girl to ever turn me down... I was batting a thousand until that moment...freakin lame...) That's the difference between pathetic and not pathetic. Don't wallow in self pity and think she's special. She probably isn't.

Because about 2 weeks later, I met my future wife and we started dating. A relationship with God girl would have lasted like 3 months before religion got too much in the way and one of us ended it...and I simultaneously wouldn't have met the most awesome girl ever.

The funny thing is that girl above always gave my wife dirty looks. I never told my wife I asked her out once...she just commented to me out of the blue like 2 months after we were together, "Your friend XXX doesn't seem to like me. She always seems to wear this scowl towards me." So I told her I asked her out...and my wife is like "Ooooooh...ok. She's one of those. Dude, she's acting all jealous...hahaha."

I actually didn't believe her because said girl is actually generally a nice, pleasant girl. So a few days after this, we passed her together in a hallway. My wife, as if she were a master psychologist, leans over to me and whispers, "Snap your neck back real fast...I GUARANTEE you she is staring us down."

So I do...sure enough, she's walking the other direction, neck twisted the other way, staring at us...her neck quickly flipping the other direction once I started looking that way.

I got a good chuckle out of that. Like literally laughing out loud in the moment chuckle.

Anyway, point is, maybe she likes you and likes playing stupid games or maybe you are too far into the "friend zone" or maybe she is just using you.

Either way, you aren't going anywhere with her as is, so move on. Have some self respect and just get another girl. Simple as that. You're welcome.

 

[DedicationNSU11]

Stop being such a beta male and get some confidence. You need to stop caring and ignore her from now on. You probably treated her way too nice (even though you claim you two argued like a married couple) and she instantly friend zoned you. Women like confidence and playfulness but too much niceness gets you in the dreaded friend zone.

 

[Hello2000]

Just crack one off and you'll feel a lot better

 

[Lubeckd]

Soon, we talked one on one and I really started to like her ALOT. Our classmates teased us that we argue like a married couple. Anyways, she kept on denying to our classmates that she likes me, and I kept it quiet.

At this time, I was madly in love, and at the end of our last exam, I told her that I liked her and would like to go out with her. Unfortunately, she said no, and said that I wasn't her type. Later on, I learned that she had a boyfriend, which pissed me off because she flirted with me, but never told me about him. Anyways, in our spring semester, I ignored her to move on, but she would talk to me and occasionally call my name when I'm talking to another female colleague.

I"m so confused about her, so during my fall P2 year, I told her again that I liked her, but she said no. She said that we can be friends. So here's my confusion:


1. Why would she flirt with me even though she had a boyfriend?
2. Why would give me a nickname even though she had a boyfriend?
3. Why could she not leave me alone simply because I don't want to have feelings for her?
4. Why would she only want to hang out when at the time she had a boyfriend?
5. Why would she touch my hands, but never hug me?
6. Why is she so critical of me, such as criticizing me about how I deal with tough situations?
7. Does she know that saying "we're friends" really hurts my feelings?
8. Most people told me that she's materialistic and that she used me because I am smart. Do you guys think she would do that?


Please help me answer these questions so that I can move on.

Thanks!

Wow I experienced a similar thing, in fact all of my friends thought the girl liked me, and she flirted with me a lot. It didnt work out in the end the same way though.

lmfao.

Dude, move on.

Girl in pharmacy school did a similar thing to me. We flirted for a while, but she always had a boyfriend. Whatever, I'm not a home wrecker. I'd have a few flings during this time to bide my time...nothing serious. But then she just broke up with her boyfriend...and honestly, yeah, I really liked the girl. But when she broke up with the previous dude, all of a sudden we'd be sitting there having lunch together...we'd lock eyes and stare straight at each other for like 20 seconds straight...she's sitting there twirling her hair with her finger...trying not to smile. Seriously...it was palpable. So, obviously, I went for it...she gave me the "you're an atheist, so, no." thing. (She's like hella conservative Christian...so in retrospect...definitely a good call on her part...stupid idea on mine...)

Unlike you, though, I have probably too much self esteem and didn't stew on it. I'm more of a, "Pfft...whatever, ho." type of guy. I was actually pissed she said no. I didn't try to make her like me or whatever because I just assumed she was an idiot for not wanting me. (To this day, the only girl to ever turn me down... I was batting a thousand until that moment...freakin lame...) That's the difference between pathetic and not pathetic. Don't wallow in self pity and think she's special. She probably isn't.

Because about 2 weeks later, I met my future wife and we started dating. A relationship with God girl would have lasted like 3 months before religion got too much in the way and one of us ended it...and I simultaneously wouldn't have met the most awesome girl ever.

The funny thing is that girl above always gave my wife dirty looks. I never told my wife I asked her out once...she just commented to me out of the blue like 2 months after we were together, "Your friend XXX doesn't seem to like me. She always seems to wear this scowl towards me." So I told her I asked her out...and my wife is like "Ooooooh...ok. She's one of those. Dude, she's acting all jealous...hahaha."

I actually didn't believe her because said girl is actually generally a nice, pleasant girl. So a few days after this, we passed her together in a hallway. My wife, as if she were a master psychologist, leans over to me and whispers, "Snap your neck back real fast...I GUARANTEE you she is staring us down."

So I do...sure enough, she's walking the other direction, neck twisted the other way, staring at us...her neck quickly flipping the other direction once I started looking that way.

I got a good chuckle out of that. Like literally laughing out loud in the moment chuckle.

Anyway, point is, maybe she likes you and likes playing stupid games or maybe you are too far into the "friend zone" or maybe she is just using you.

Either way, you aren't going anywhere with her as is, so move on. Have some self respect and just get another girl. Simple as that. You're welcome.

Wow on these similar stories, me and the girl used to look at each other all the time, and smile at each other; she would also play with her hair as well.

I think it was a month later though, that I meet a really another amazing girl, I dont know if she is going to be my wife. But when we hang out, the girl that rejected me would always look our direction. Im glad I wasnt the only person who experienced this. WVUPharm2007 did you meet your wife in pharmacy school?

 

[WVUPharm2007]

I think it was a month later though, that I meet a really another amazing girl, I dont know if she is going to be my wife. But when we hang out, the girl that rejected me would always look our direction. Im glad I wasnt the only person who experienced this. WVUPharm2007 did you meet your wife in pharmacy school?

Actually, the lesson is (generalization) that women are idiots and generally want what they can't have.

 

[30Percent]

Because about 2 weeks later, I met my future wife and we started dating. A relationship with God girl would have lasted like 3 months before religion got too much in the way and one of us ended it...and I simultaneously wouldn't have met the most awesome girl ever.

What if those 3 months you had the best sex in your entire life?

Missed out bro.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

What if those 3 months you had the best sex in your entire life?

Missed out bro.

Interesting.

Good old butterfly effect.

Perhaps I would be a billionaire.

Or I could be penniless.

I'm quite content with how things were sorted out. I live in a great city...with good friends...and a good job.

 

[Sparda29]

Interesting.

Good old butterfly effect.

Perhaps I would be a billionaire.

Or I could be penniless.

I'm quite content with how things were sorted out. I live in a great city...with good friends...and a good job.

Philly sucks.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Philly sucks.

Aww, that's cute. Nobody cares.

 

[smercer]

Now I know your making this up...Everyone knows there are no Pharmacy Jobs and definitely no "good" Pharmacy jobs.

 

[fullmetalphrm]

You claim to have 'loved' her, but never engaged her in enough conversation to find out she has a damn boyfriend? This is a sorry excuse for a thread.

 

[Ackj]

What if those 3 months you had the best sex in your entire life?

Missed out bro.

Ultra religious conservative Christian? Yeah right, he didn't marry her.

 

[ImmunoPharmD]

You claim to have 'loved' her, but never engaged her in enough conversation to find out she has a damn boyfriend? This is a sorry excuse for a thread.

Well we talk about lots of things. At that time, I thought she was interested in me, so there was no reason for me to ask if she was seeing anyone.

I feel like a complete fool for how she treated me. I would still like to date a fellow colleague if I had the chance. What do you guys suggest that I can improve on? Can the ladies tell just by the way you talk to her that you are interested in her?


Thanks.

 

[Pharmacy Kid]

Err...well I can't reveal directly because one of you guys might be my classmates lol! But here's a hint, she's from the country where plastic surgery is popular.

Korean!

No, its gotta be California!

 

[smercer]

Well we talk about lots of things. At that time, I thought she was interested in me, so there was no reason for me to ask if she was seeing anyone.

I feel like a complete fool for how she treated me. I would still like to date a fellow colleague if I had the chance. What do you guys suggest that I can improve on? Can the ladies tell just by the way you talk to her that you are interested in her?


Thanks.

Confidence...guys with it get the girl...guys without dont. End of story.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

Confidence...guys with it get the girl...guys without dont. End of story.

Eh. I like sweet, geeky guys and hate swagger.

 

[SHC1984]

Actually, the lesson is (generalization) that women are idiots and generally want what they can't have.

Men are the same damn way! I use to like a guy in my class P1 year. He was interested for like a month then he lost interest for reasons that I will never know. He would talk to me but NEVER ask me out or anything. Then come P4 year...classes are over. He ask me to have lunch with him one day...we ended up hooking up at his place...now he will text me regularly for sex and hanging out. It's fun so I'll play along for now...but I always thought he wasn't interested in me b/c he NEVER show me any real interest till now...