Help with abuse

[Ineedhelpthrowawaypls]

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[Ineedhelpthrowawaypls]

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[Strictlydickly]

Honestly so sorry that happened to you, but no idea what you should do. I'm sure others here will have some advice though

 

[Ad2b]

I don't see any issue with addressing it in your secondary pieces. Being abused by a parent is never healed, btw, but it is something one learns to cope with, overcome and hopefully learn from.

For me, if I get that prompt, I won't address my horribly abusive mother (think coat hangers, ping pong paddles, wire spoons, metal serrated spatulas, hot wheel tracks, thrown in dumpsters, clothes thrown out, dressers tossed, closets destroyed, money stolen, dogs killed... and then I became an adult and she stole from me... oh the stories I have).

If that is the only hardship you have overcome, then use it.

 

[Ineedhelpthrowawaypls]

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[Ad2b]

Then use that

My mother has never, will never, acknowledge what she did or how she harmed me. Ever. For that, I will never ever forgive her; when my father passes, I will never speak to her again. When she dies, I won't care. She's evil.

 

[AlphaBeta<3]

What do you mean by abuse?

In my culture, it's very normal to be beaten with anything the parent can get their hands on. But we see it as discipline and not abuse, but in America it's called abuse

 

[Ineedhelpthrowawaypls]

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[Strictlydickly]

I had an advisee who not too long ago who was from an immigrant family, got essentially sold into marriage in her early teen years with a much older man who abused her for 2 or 3 years until she ran away, lived on the streets for a year or two and got her life back in track . She used this story in all of her adversity essays and is attending medical school. If you feel it has something that has challenged you and you have accomplished much despite the hardship, then use. As a physician, you may see patients like this and will have a much better understanding of them then most of us.

Thanks! Mine ended pretty happily and whatnot so it isn't too much of a "**** my life everything sucks and it never got better" story

 

[Ad2b]

In my culture, it's very normal to be beaten with anything the parent can get their hands on. But we see it as discipline and not abuse, but in America it's called abuse

No, everywhere it's abuse but in THIS country, we call it out and hold the parents accountable for beating their children. It is not discipline when children end up with internal and external scars... it's abuse.

I'm so very sorry your culture thinks thats okay.

 

[Strictlydickly]

No, everywhere it's abuse but in THIS country, we call it out and hold the parents accountable for beating their children. It is not discipline when children end up with internal and external scars... it's abuse.

I'm so very sorry your culture thinks thats okay.

100% agree

 

[aalamruad]

As a prospective physician in the US, how would deal with a child who came into the ER or your clinic with a parent who explained the he wouldnt hold still while disciplining him and cut him?

I can't imagine how these peds ER docs/peds orthopods/etc deal with that kind of stuff without kicking the parents' asses. Must be very difficult.

 

[Mansamusa]

What do you mean by abuse?

In my culture, it's very normal to be beaten with anything the parent can get their hands on. But we see it as discipline and not abuse, but in America it's called abuse

Well let's not challenge the OP on whether or not he/she was abused.

And there is a line between discipline and abuse. An openhanded swat is discipline, chucking something at someone or using objects or punching crosses the line towards abuse. My mom gave us a little smack on the hands, which between the fear of the hit and the little pain we felt made us behave (that is discipline). My ex-marine dad gave me some bloody noses, made me black out once by throwing an object at my head, and would almost weekly pack up my clothes in a suitcase and drive me to an orphanage where he threatened to leave me. That borders abusive.

Now you go all the way to beating a child with an object, and that is straight up abuse. Try beating an adult with a stick, what would happen? You get charged with assault. Of course it is abuse when you do it to a child

 

[Ad2b]

My ex-marine dad gave me some bloody noses, made me black out once by throwing an object at my head, and would almost weekly pack up my clothes in a suitcase and drive me to an orphanage where he threatened to leave me. That borders abusive.

Bloody nose: abuse
Making you black out: abuse
Threatening you: abuse

you go all the way to beating a child with an object, and that is straight up abuse. Try beating an adult with a stick, what would happen? You get charged with assault. Of course it is abuse when you do it to a child

For all of us who have been beaten, tortured, strangled to black out, duct taped, left in locked/darkened basements by a parent, Thank you.

To you, I'm so very sorry.

 

[aftomdhopeful]

How comfortable are you with discussing the history of abuse with a stranger? I know it is very tempting to craft a story or theme in an application, but I imagine it is an extremely emotional topic to deal with. If you put it in your application, there is a very strong chance it will come up in an interview. The last thing you want to do in an interview is break down crying and be unable to recover. For me personally, I avoided mentioning certain aspects of my life history because I did not want the chance of derailing my interviews. If you feel confident that you are comfortable with it as an interview topic, then it certainly proves your ability to overcome adversity.

 

[Cyberdyne 101]

My ex-marine dad gave me some bloody noses, made me black out once by throwing an object at my head, and would almost weekly pack up my clothes in a suitcase and drive me to an orphanage where he threatened to leave me.

This is unquestionably abusive. I'm sorry you had to experience it.

 

[Just1voice]

Abuse makes you stronger. Use it, but don't dwell. Be vague; write mostly about positive outcomes.

"Because I underwent _____________,
I grew these character strengths:______________.
I learned ____________.
I do the right thing rather than look the other way.
I am a fierce advocate for ______________.
I can navigate the legal and social services systems effectively.
I volunteered ______________.
I became interested in survival skills and first aid.
I can relate to _____________.
I recognize important signs a child is a victim of abuse.
I understand ________________________.
This will make me a phenomenal pediatrician or E.R. doctor."

You get the drift. (Try not to use too many "I" statements.)

Make the abuse empower your application, not detract from it.

Evoke emotion. Survivorship > victimhood.

 

[aalamruad]

Abuse makes you stronger. Use it, but don't dwell on it. In your essays be vague about the actual abuse, spending most of the space writing about positive outcomes.

"Because I underwent _____________, I grew these character strengths:_______________ I am a fierce advocate for ______________, I learned ____________, I became interested in survival skills and first aid, I volunteered ______________, I can relate to _____________, this will make me a more compassionate pediatrician or E.R. doctor, I can navigate the legal system, I recognize abused children and do the right thing rather than look the other way.

You get the drift. (Try not to use too many "I" statements though.)

Make the abuse empower your application, not detract from it.

Evoke emotion - but you don't need or desire the adcom's pity.

Abuse doesn't make everyone stronger; different kids have very different innate levels of resilience, and it's important to keep that in mind. Other than that, good points.

 

[Goro]

Sorry to hear this, but does it really explain "why Medicine?" Or "who am I?"

The PS is not meant to be a pissing contest as to who had the worst life.

So not to go into too much detail, but for many of the supplements I find that a question prompt is "have you experienced previous hardships blah blah"

I was physically abused by my father for a time in my life. He used to beat me and whatnot, I'm over it now, helped me become who I am today and I'm glad it happened. Nothing sexual.

Should I talk about this or do you think that could hurt me in the long run for some reason?

Thanks for your help guys!

 

[Mansamusa]

Sorry to hear this, but does it really explain "why Medicine?" Or "who am I?"

The PS is not meant to be a pissing contest as to who had the worst life.

OP was referring to secondary questions that ask you about a time when you faced adversity

 

[aalamruad]

Sorry to hear this, but does it really explain "why Medicine?" Or "who am I?"

The PS is not meant to be a pissing contest as to who had the worst life.

OP isn't talking about the PS, take it easy buddy

 

[Goro]

Not merely abuse, but felonies.

Bloody nose: abuse
Making you black out: abuse
Threatening you: abuse



For all of us who have been beaten, tortured, strangled to black out, duct taped, left in locked/darkened basements by a parent, Thank you.

To you, I'm so very sorry.

 

[Goro]

Then it's fair game for an answer.

OP was referring to secondary questions that ask you about a time when you faced adversity

 

[Just1voice]

Abuse doesn't make everyone stronger; different kids have very different innate levels of resilience, and it's important to keep that in mind. Other than that, good points.

Then I would ask:

How does this adversity relate to or define your narrative, career goals, and life's trajectory?
If you're not strong enough to deal with your own baggage, why do you think you are ready to shoulder the hell of medical school?
Why should adcoms believe you may one day be strong enough to deal the weight of patients' issues?
Why tell about the abuse if you haven't yet dealt with it in meaningful and productive ways?

As previously stated, adversity should be used to strengthen one's application. If it doesn't, don't use it.

 

[aalamruad]

Then I would ask:

Why medicine?
How does this relate to who you are?
If you're not strong enough to deal with your own baggage, what makes you think you are ready to shoulder the hell of medical school?
Why should the adcoms believe you may one day be strong enough to deal the weight of patients' issues?

What in the world are you talking about? It's for an adversity essay.. What the hell are you saying "if you're not strong enough to deal with your own baggage"? No one's saying that's the case.. have some respect.

 

[Just1voice]

My apologies. No disrespect intended.

 

[LizzyM]

Read the prompts carefully. Many are asking about how you overcame adversity, how you coped with adversity, etc. In those cases, the adversity should not be the focus but rather how you have played the hand you were dealt in life.

 

[El-Rami]

Try beating an adult with a stick, what would happen? You get charged with assault. Of course it is abuse when you do it to a child

No, when you beat an adult with a stick, it's an invitation for them to kick your ass, call it self-defense, and still charge you for assault on top of all that.

 

[Ineedhelpthrowawaypls]

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[Ad2b]

Perfect!! Good luck to you in your path. I wish every child had the ability to help the parent recover. You are blessed and no doubt, wise!