how do you factor in your relationship when choosing your med school?

[yayfuturedoctor]

Okay so I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place for this thread but I figured it had to do with significant others so I chose it.

I was accepted into two medical school programs. The first a DO very close to home and close to where my boyfriend goes to grad school. 4 months later, I was accepted to an MD school about 3 hours away. I'm having some trouble with this huge decision because for the past four months, I've been picturing living super close to my boyfriend (25 minutes) and still becoming a doctor.

Here is some additional background:
I have had the goal of becoming an MD for 6 years. I only heard of DO once in college and didn't apply to DO my first cycle. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years and are very serious. We met in high school and went to undergrad together. Basically inseparable. I know not to make a decision about my career based on a boy, but he truly is a huge part of my life.

If any one has any life experiences or advice they can share, i would truly appreciate it. I feel beyond lucky and proud to be in the situation I am in. I am afraid that if I stay close to him, down the road I will regret not reaching my goal when I could have. If I did my have him in my life, I would hands down go to the MD school. Help!!!

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[Goro]

Agree my my learned colleague, as your career opportunities are greater by going to the MD school.

IF the relationship is more of a concern than your career trajectory, and you're fine with the odds being > 60% that you'll end up in Primary Care, then the DO school makes more sense. But I temper this with what DO school it is. CCOM, mine, KCU, PCOM, or MSUCOM are all different from those schools with poor rotation sites and clinical training.

Being three hours away from your sweetie is doable. I can attest to this from personal experience.

Go to the MD school. No brainer.

 

[HelicaseInitiator]

Go for your dreams, you were accepted into an MD program and that has been your goal career wise. Boyfriends come and go, But your career as an MD is a lifetime. I would really weigh the pro's and con's but I would remove the boyfriend from the equation of making the decision. I can only tell you about my experience and the advice my mentors gave me. I was accepted into a program close (10 min) to my long term boyfriend from college and I thought this would makes things easier as well as it being my top choice school. The relationship dissolved a few weeks later after my acceptance and I'm still accepted to the program that I wanted the most, so I'm lucky in that regard. I'm not saying that will happen to your relationship, but you need to make the best decision for YOU. As my mentors have advised me - if you both want the relationship to work, it will work, if not then you still are on your way to your MD.
SO please think wisely.

 

[yayfuturedoctor]

Wow thank you all so much for the genuine responses.

Since last night I have been leaning towards the MD. I think short term I would be happier with the DO, being close to family and him, but long term I feel that I would regret not going MD every time I put on my white coat only because it has been a stubborn goal of mine for years.

Thank you all again! I have some time to decide and think about it!

 

[DokterMom]

Some time apart can be a very healthy thing for a relationship, particularly when you two have been together so long from such an early age. You may find that living separately, you find you want to grow in slightly different directions, which is a very necessary and appropriate thing. Post-growth, you may still fit together wonderfully, or perhaps not. But the death of many started-young relationships is that people end up feeling fenced in and like they haven't had the opportunity to experience what else is out there.

Also, could he transfer to where you will be? Probably easier for him to transfer...

 

[yayfuturedoctor]

Some time apart can be a very healthy thing for a relationship, particularly when you two have been together so long from such an early age. You may find that living separately, you find you want to grow in slightly different directions, which is a very necessary and appropriate thing. Post-growth, you may still fit together wonderfully, or perhaps not. But the death of many started-young relationships is that people end up feeling fenced in and like they haven't had the opportunity to experience what else is out there.

Also, could he transfer to where you will be? Probably easier for him to transfer...

He is in his first year of podiatry school so he won't be able to transfer but I know his school offers externships where he could travel.

He is all for me going away, and that leaves me with a good feeling because we are both eager to make it work.

 

[futuremdforme]

Three hours is quite doable, and it's amazing that he's positive about you taking the MD offer. The attitude is a huge part of it! Congrats!

 

[J ROD]

Believe us old folks. Do not turn down the MD school and the opportunity it provides. The match is getting harder every year.

Plus, 3 hrs is nothing in terms of distance. You and he will be busy so even if you were in the same city you would not have that much time together. So, when you are together, you can focus on each other and not school.

Lastly, if things did not work out with him, then you would not regret it.

Take the MD offer with his support.

 

[Natu_]

I would not let a relationship get in the way of going to medical school. You "Do not" want to be emotional during medical school. Relationships can sometimes be expendable, even when you have been dating for several years. "Things happen" Medical school is a once in a lifetime kind of thing and it's not like you can't go up to see him every once in a while. You both will be busy with school anyways. You guys can always skype each other. But heres the thing the chances of you both getting into the same residency is rip.. So you need to know that after medical school you probably won't be seeing your boyfriend often anyways unless he's not becoming a doctor. Either way you won't get to spend much time since residency you're working half the day literally.

 

[deleted480308]

Go to the MD school....it's not even a question