How do you maintain "femininity" and personality in medicine?

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Sarah1984

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I am a 4th year medical student and I have a question for any female residents or doctors out there.

How do you maintain your "femininity" and personality in how you carry yourself around other doctors and also in your daily dress (without looking like a bimbo or losing all feminity)? Has anyone else had issues with this? I guess I have been with almost all male attendings, and the female physicians I have been with all had very strong and somewhat difficult personalities. Over the past year I've resigned myself to my Danskos and my basic professional clothes under my white coat and I guess I'm just struggling with how to let my personality come through when i really don't have any female mentors to model how I should carry myself.

I hope this isn't a stupid post - any comments or suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks!

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I've been wondering the same thing. I can bear the thought of wearing Danskos all day (okay, I've seen one or two styles that were tolerable). I'd honestly rather wear shoes that aren't quite as comfy as Danskos (or other "comfort" shoes)-- but manageable on my feet and CUTE. I'm proud to be a woman and have no desire to "man up" my appearance for any reason. I've been wondering how much girly-girl you can get in your outward appearance before it's seen as unprofessional. Heaven help me, but I do love fashion.
 
I wear pretty feminine items and it's never been a problem. In fact it keeps the patient in a good mood. Many of them have eagerly awaited my shoes or my earrings. They are stuck in bed all day and this gives them something to do. The trick is not to confuse feminine with skimpy inappropriate clothing. So I go for things that are well tailored, colorful and fashionable but not very revealing. Dressing inappropriately at work is a sure way to loose the respect of you colleagues and patients.
 
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I've been wondering the same thing. I can bear the thought of wearing Danskos all day (okay, I've seen one or two styles that were tolerable). I'd honestly rather wear shoes that aren't quite as comfy as Danskos (or other "comfort" shoes)-- but manageable on my feet and CUTE. I'm proud to be a woman and have no desire to "man up" my appearance for any reason. I've been wondering how much girly-girl you can get in your outward appearance before it's seen as unprofessional. Heaven help me, but I do love fashion.
:laugh: that makes the 2 of us...
 
I wear pretty feminine items and it's never been a problem. In fact it keeps the patient in a good mood. Many of them have eagerly awaited my shoes or my earrings. They are stuck in bed all day and this gives them something to do. The trick is not to confuse feminine with skimpy inappropriate clothing. So I go for things that are well tailored, colorful and fashionable but not very revealing. Dressing inappropriately at work is a sure way to loose the respect of you colleagues and patients.
+1... i concur ;)
 
Watch House.

Dress like Cameron.

Don't dress like Cuddy.
 
Damn it! Does this mean I have to leave my stripper heels at home?

JK, I'm old, and all my poor feet can handle anymore is a kitten heel. Or Danskos, which are anathema to me.
 
I don't work at a hospital since I am in the psychology field. But I have to look very presentable in court in the morning among all these lawyers, go to the hospital for med Check in the afternoon with my Juveniles, and I work with Juveniles probation youth. Some of these kids are triple my height and weight. So, I try to be stern and in control, yet a good role model and representative for them, and for all the girls, and my agency in court.
Additionally, I teach Belly Dancing and many female doctors/nurses come my Belly Dance classes and we often discuss the subject of carrying yourself in a feminine way. One of the main issues we talk about is carrying yourself in a graceful way. You can act very gracefully 90% of the time. So try to do that. It is the way you talk, speak (the tone, and melody and pitch of your voice), eat, hold a cup in your hand, write, sit,move your body or even stand still, bend over, touch your hair..etc.
Also, the way you walk can be very feminine, and show tons of self esteem. Try to practice how to do it but make sure you can see in front of you so you do not hit or trip on something. Since the white coat covers most of your body, make sure that you walk with your back straight yet not too stiff and tight. Pull your chest (not breast) forward, and do not bend over.
As for the make up, try to go to a good mall where they have a make up artist and ask her to apply professional make up on you. Try different brands and let that make up artist teach you the looks that you like.
Since you are on a budget, check out you tube, there are tons of places that teach you how to apply make up.
I hope I was able to help a little. Please, ask me some questions related to this topic. I'll try to answer or direct you as to where to find the answers if I know.
Thanks, and Good luck:luck:
 
Thanks, rmbsstock, for the comment. I agree with paying attention to how you carry yourself, although I admit to not wearing makeup for awhile when I worked in research b/c people started to treat me like I was dumb. Finally I started to dress back up b/c I figured they think I'm dumb anyway, screw them. I want to dress the way I want to dress. I'd really hate to try to change who I am in order to "be more professional". The funny thing is, when I was dressing "like a girl" it was business casual, usually khaki slacks and a button-down shirt in a stylish cut and some mascara and gloss. Nothing skanky; underdressed compared to what the women doctors wore to work, but not the t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers uniform of the rest of the students.

Here's a link to an article from MSN.com about being a feminine feminist if anyone is interested--although I think the author's push to invent a new term, "feminine-ist", is rather silly. Still, I like the idea of being strong, powerful, professional, and feminine at the same time. If anyone else has links to similar articles, please post!


http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleoprahmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=22663614&gt1=32023
 
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As a woman, I like men to open doors for me, or maybe carry the umbrella for me. It is not a sign of weakness for me, it is a sign of respect, in my opinion. I want them to carry the heavy bags to my car, and let me walk in first. After all, we are proud to be the Child bearers. Sometimes I thinks, if men go through child birth one time, we as human being will become extinct!!
I lovvvvvvvvvvvve make up, it brings the artist in me. If you love it, wear it. If it enhances your beauty, wear it. Most importantly, if you feel comfortable about yourself, and good about yourself, then wear it. Same thing is with clothes. I think what makes us shine is our self confidence and our inner beauty. The fact that you are concerned about how others feel, especially your patients, shows what a beautiful person you are. But, in all honesty, when your patients see you confident and strong, with all these colors, and nice clothes, they feel confident in you.
I love to see my doctor beautiful, and kind like you.
PS. I will go check the site you recommended.
thanks
 
to me the key has been to feel comfortable with myself. I love being a girl, I'm femenine in my own original way. I don't give a **** about others opinion specially some attendings that might judge me for being a woman.. cause I know I'm as smart, intellgent powerful as them. I know that so I'm confident enough to wear whatever I feel like.
 
why do you guys care if you look sexy to your patients and coworkers?
you work in a hospital not a gentleman's club. the last thing i would want is unwanted attention because i look more "pretty" than professional, but maybe i have issues.
 
why do you guys care if you look sexy to your patients and coworkers?
you work in a hospital not a gentleman's club. the last thing i would want is unwanted attention because i look more "pretty" than professional, but maybe i have issues.

Speaking for myself, it isn't about looking sexy but about looking like a woman. I feel more confident about myself when I look "pretty" (styling my hair, light makeup, stylish clothes). I'm not talking about tight miniskirts, cleavage-baring tops, or makeup more appropriate for clubbing. Or anything designed to seduce a man. I don't see why I should have to dress like a man and downplay my femininity in order to be taken seriously. It's 2010; you would think that men should know by now that women can be pretty AND smart; fashionable AND professional. I'm not saying that every woman should feel this way, but women also shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to celebrate their differences from men, either. To each her own. Whatever makes you feel more confident and effective on the job, then by all means that's how you should dress.
 
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Speaking for myself, it isn't about looking sexy but about looking like a woman. I feel more confident about myself when I look "pretty" (styling my hair, light makeup, stylish clothes). I'm not talking about tight miniskirts, cleavage-baring tops, or makeup more appropriate for clubbing. Or anything designed to seduce a man. I don't see why I should have to dress like a man and downplay my femininity in order to be taken seriously. It's 2010; you would think that men should know by now that women can be pretty AND smart; fashionable AND professional. I'm not saying that every woman should feel this way, but women also shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to celebrate their differences from men, either. To each her own. Whatever makes you feel more confident and effective on the job, then by all means that's how you should dress.

well that is what bugs me, how you call it "dressing like a man."
why is it that women need to fix themselves up but men dont? Its a bit unfair dont you think? I personally prefer to wear no makeup and not do my hair unless its a special occasion or I am getting paid to look dolled up.

I dont think you need to dress a certain way or wear makeup to look pretty. I mean tons of men look absolutely gorgeous with no makeup or styling at all yet why is it that women think they need all this aditional stuff to look presentable? If you are pretty you will look pretty no matter what you wear. Kind of sucks that women are pressured to cake on chemicals on their face and to fry their hair while men are not, dont you think?
 
well that is what bugs me, how you call it "dressing like a man."
why is it that women need to fix themselves up but men dont? Its a bit unfair dont you think? I personally prefer to wear no makeup and not do my hair unless its a special occasion or I am getting paid to look dolled up.

I dont think you need to dress a certain way or wear makeup to look pretty. I mean tons of men look absolutely gorgeous with no makeup or styling at all yet why is it that women think they need all this aditional stuff to look presentable? If you are pretty you will look pretty no matter what you wear. Kind of sucks that women are pressured to cake on chemicals on their face and to fry their hair while men are not, dont you think?



Well, when I feel like I have to downplay the fact that I'm a woman, then I'm dressing like a man, in my view. And men do have to fix themselves up, too, if they want to be perceived as competent at their jobs. I would rather interact with a man who is well-groomed and dressed presentably than one who is unkempt.

It's a case of this:



vs. this:

joaquin-phoenix-mystery-woman-lingerie-01.jpg


Both pictures are of the same actor, Joaquin Phoenix. Grooming and making an effort to pull yourself together makes a difference, male or female. Who would you prefer give you your annual physical exam: Well-Groomed Joaquin or Hairy Joaquin?

As I said before, if wearing no makeup and not paying attention to what you are wearing makes you feel more effective on the job, then by all means go for it. You should feel able to wear and look the way you want and be taken seriously at work.

I think what the issue is here, though, is that you seem to equate wearing makeup and taking pains to put an outfit together with trying to look sexy or to snag a man. In your first post on this thread, you wondered why everyone was worried about looking sexy for patients and co-workers, and now you are implying that ANY application of makeup or taking pride in your appearance is getting "dolled up". If you read the entire thread carefully, you will find that the subject of this thread is about how to dress like a woman WITHOUT being seen as trying to be a sexpot.

Believe it or not, some of us like to dress up and wear makeup just because we like fashion or because makeup is our artistic medium. And no, I don't always get "dolled up". As a matter of fact, on most days I don't wear makeup. I have to have both the time and the inclination, and the two usually don't coincide (usually time is a factor, since I'm a mommy). But when I feel like it and have enough time, I enjoy putting on makeup and putting together a stylish outfit. I don't feel a societal pressure to look a certain way. I just enjoy looking put together when I feel like making the extra effort.

Yes, a woman can and should be able to forego makeup if she so chooses. Likewise, a woman who enjoys putting on makeup and dressing in a feminine manner should be able to do so without other people, male or female, making the assumption that she is out to catch a man. As I said, to each her own.
 
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I've never worried about something like this. :D
 
Or Danskos, which are anathema to me.

i've seen a lot of docs wearing those. why? they don't look comfortable, and seem to be too expensive to be considered the "scrubs" version of shoes.
 
Speaking for myself, it isn't about looking sexy but about looking like a woman. I feel more confident about myself when I look "pretty" (styling my hair, light makeup, stylish clothes). I'm not talking about tight miniskirts, cleavage-baring tops, or makeup more appropriate for clubbing. Or anything designed to seduce a man. I don't see why I should have to dress like a man and downplay my femininity in order to be taken seriously. It's 2010; you would think that men should know by now that women can be pretty AND smart; fashionable AND professional. I'm not saying that every woman should feel this way, but women also shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to celebrate their differences from men, either. To each her own. Whatever makes you feel more confident and effective on the job, then by all means that's how you should dress.


:D Agreed. Make-up makes me feel more creative, alive, and alert.
 
rmbsstock: I TOTALLY AGREE!!!

I absolutely LOVE makeup! I think it only enhances what you have and makes you look more beautiful by playing up your nice features.

Jinx520: I agree w/you as well!!

Whenever I do take time to do my hair or put makeup on, I feel more alive and my self-esteem shoots through the roof. I think it's bc I realize that I'm paying more attention to myself and taking care of 'ME!'

I just found this forum. I love it! :)
 
Colorful eyeshadow.
Colorful earrings.
Hair no shorter than shoulder length (matter of fact, y'all stop cutting ya hair).
Keep those nails done...and colorful!
Diamond rings.
Juicy or Tiffany charm necklaces. :thumbup:
 
Colorful eyeshadow.
Colorful earrings.
Hair no shorter than shoulder length (matter of fact, y'all stop cutting ya hair).
Keep those nails done...and colorful!
Diamond rings.
Juicy or Tiffany charm necklaces. :thumbup:

At every hospital I've ever worked in, long loose hair, nail polish and rings were verboten by the hygiene police.
The only kinds of jewelry worth buying when you work in a hospital are earrings and necklaces. Personally, I have only 2 rings (engagement and wedding) and I only wear them on weekends and holidays. I don't own any bracelets or wrist watches. There's simply no use for them.
Keeping your hair longer (as opposed to boyish cuts) will help with keeping up a feminine identity even when wearing scrubs. You'll just have to keep tied it back at all times.
 
As a woman, I like men to open doors for me, or maybe carry the umbrella for me. It is not a sign of weakness for me, it is a sign of respect, in my opinion. I want them to carry the heavy bags to my car, and let me walk in first. After all, we are proud to be the Child bearers. Sometimes I thinks, if men go through child birth one time, we as human being will become extinct!!



I hope you are talking about your significant other doing all this stuff for you. No random guy is going to go out of his way for you nowadays. Women are equal and not helpless right? Back in the 50's this was the ideal that prevailed and thus, women were treated like delicate creatures. But there is really no reason to do these things nowadays now that feminist have convinced men that women are equal.
 
At every hospital I've ever worked in, long loose hair, nail polish and rings were verboten by the hygiene police.
The only kinds of jewelry worth buying when you work in a hospital are earrings and necklaces. Personally, I have only 2 rings (engagement and wedding) and I only wear them on weekends and holidays. I don't own any bracelets or wrist watches. There's simply no use for them.
Keeping your hair longer (as opposed to boyish cuts) will help with keeping up a feminine identity even when wearing scrubs. You'll just have to keep tied it back at all times.

what! you take off your wedding ring!
 
I do not see this as a female or male issue. i see this as a general issue. One should always dress professionally. They should be well groomed, wear clothing that is acceptable for the work environment and be presentable.

I didn't like the "feminist-ish" comment way above. A feminist is someone who wants gender equality and respect. Not someone who thinks females or males are superior. So saying feminist-ish is like saying "I kinda want equality, but not really" Feminists are male, female, dressed up, dressed down, colorful, muted tones, pierced, not pierced, whatever. Anyone that wants gender equality is a feminist.
 
Nice question raised by @Sarah1984 :hello:

You can simply look more feminine by wearing items like shoes, necklace, bracelets. Make color choices accordingly when looking for scrubs, or other outfits. Try to wear some eye makeup like liner or mascara. Both verbal and non verbal aspects of personality combined to deliver feminine looks. :love::)
 
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