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I think the deceptively simple principle for multi-/cross-cultural things (including gender) is to keep in mind that group or privilege factors play into things, but you can't assume a person is group norms personified, either. It's an incredibly difficult thing for everyone to balance, and I think it's impossible to perfect. I think it's also important to remember that privilege isn't an all-or-nothing thing and that all people are more likely to notice the privilege they lack than the privilege they have (for example, I lack male and able-bodied privilege, but I have White, Christian, heterosexual, middle class, etc. privilege. Both the privilege I have and that that I lack affect me and how I view the world).
(And while we're talking about privilege, can I go off a slight tangent about how much I HATE RUNNING? Or, rather, how much I hate the attitude that running is *everything*, that it is the only thing worth doing, that it is Jesus/heaven/nirvana /ecstasy/life/the meaning of everything/the cure for everything/whathaveyou, etc.? I'm a martial arts student, and I grew up relatively athletic (skiing, cycling, swimming, horseback riding, etc) in a relatively athletic family, so I'm not opposed to or unappreciative or athleticism, really. But as someone who has never—and will never—be able to run, I don't get running at all. I don't understand what it is in the slightest. It's my blind man's sunset, and I'm *so* tired of constantly hearing about how it is perfect and wonderful and how just everyone should do it or they can't be human and Nike ads as FB profile pics and so on and so forth. /rant over)
Sure, and I think you sum it up pretty well. But I think privilege also goes well beyond just innate/acquired characteristics such as gender/disability/race. I still think that SES is one of the biggest (and most often ignored in these types of discussions) issues in the oppression discussion. Also parenting - not within a child's control and can have a major impact on later development.