I am miserable in med school. I have no one else to go to for advice.

[medstudent333]

So I am in my 1st yr of med school. I moved across the country with 2 babies and a husband to attend school here. My husband and kids are amazing and they do not interfere at all with school. I left an amazing family, friends, and support system. But I was excited to pursue my dreams and felt that it was my purpose/ passion in life. Also I was just not satisfied with the life of being a stay at home mom, it was not for me, I need more drive/craziness in life.

Now I am in med school... I have never been a social butterfly but I feel that I connect with no one at school. In my practice interviewing class I am constantly criticized by my professor when everyone else in my group receives praise. Criticism is basically that I am too quiet and socially awkward to sum it up. I also seem to have gotten into little arguments with some of my classmates, these are now resolved but I just seem to be having a hard time getting along with people here. I feel that everyone hates me and thinks that I am socially awkward. I feel that people are always judging me. When I talk to people I am dismissed and people seem to not want to get to know me. I really make an effort to be social but it gets exhausting. I do have a couple friends here but don't really have time to hang out because I have a family and kids at home. I don't have anyone to relate to here. I also tend to start hating people because of this, get resentful.

After going home for break I had a great time and everyone respects me/us there. We have great, great friendships, amazing family, strong social standing there, husband was making BANK(more than most doctors), go out to restaurants with other couples, we were LIVING THE LIFE. I got my confidence back but then when I returned here it was crushed again. I am sitting here crying because I don't know why I even moved here. I am miserable. The only thing that keeps me holding on is the small hope that maybe everyone is judging me wrong and I just get nervous during my practice interviews and that in real life I will be better with my future patients. Do I have false hope? Should I just quit and return to my amazing life at home? Please advise, I have no one else to go to.

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[FIREitUP]

it sounds like you're being really hard on yourself, a lot of your thinking sounds very distorted and over the top. these standardized patients' sole purpose is for you to learn how to be comfortable asking questions in a controlled setting. take the criticism constructively rather than as an insult. secondly, i'm not sure if you noticed, but medical students are not the easiest group of people to get along with. many act very entitled and lack a certain social aptitude that one would expect from such a bright group of individuals. since it seems like getting along with people was never an issue for you before i would not think of these incidents as being your fault per se. lastly, i wish i had a loving spouse and children like you do, the longer i go through life the more i realize how much more important family is than anything else. i would focus your success as a person towards that area in your life instead of being so critical of your school persona, which is essentially meaningless.

 

[BANGO]

...

 

[Etorphine]

Best advice I've learned for navigating medical school and the culture: be actively nice to everyone and give them their respect. Greet everyone with a smile. Try and seek out the positive parts of your classmates, and focus on that, even if you've had drama, which it sounds like you have had. People will overlook many flaws if you are genuinely nice and mean well.

The culture in medical school can lend itself to being critical and judgmental at times, and people love pointing out what is wrong with other people. However, the nice ones always get by unscathed. It's not too late, even if you've established a history; people can and do change their minds.

 

[GangaMaster]

I'm surprised that med students always tell pre-meds to not pursue medicine and this is a perfect opportunity to tell someone that has a husband that makes "bank" and a great life back at home. Medicine isn't something you should pursue if you have everything you could possibly need at home. Get a hobby or start a small business.

 

[scarletgirl777]

I think you are lumping two separate things together (having trouble with interviewing and not hitting it off with others) and crucifying yourself for it. Your interviewing will get better...as long as it's good enough to pass you will be fine. Not a big deal. I think we have all encountered several incredibly awkward physicians as a patient but they still give great care and are genuine. As far as why you are getting some push back from classmates...some thoughts:
- do you have an opinion about everything anyone says? cut people off?
- do you make people feel on a different level b/c you have a family? (some may be jealous that you have more than school)
- what sort of body language gestures do you make? [roll your eyes? (was surprised at how many of my classmates brought their attitude from puberty)]

As far as contemplating whether you should just pack up and go home or not is a big one. Remember that just as medical school and residency is temporary so are many things like your kids being small (will you regret not being a physician when your kids move out?), family being around (they move around, die, etc.), your husband making money (could lose his job, also die, etc.). Sorry I know that was very crass but you really need to ask yourself not only what life will be like instantly if you leave med school but also what it will be like in various situations at different phases and possible situations in your life. That's just my 2 cents - but this is all coming from me who is on the verge of dropping out of his M1 year and pursuing dentistry. Hope you feel better.

This. Not so much jealousy bc I don't envy that at all, but some nontrad people would make it a point to act like they were so much more mature or knew so much more about the world. That gets insufferable real quick. Also, people will understand that you have less time to socialize because you have small kids, but people are not going to make the extra effort to reach out or understand you because of your circumstance. It's you who will have to make the extra effort. Ultimately, you may decide that your wonderful husband and beautiful children are way more important than some potentially superfiical relationships you can make in med school, which is totally fine, but then don't spend time brooding over the fact that you aren't as friendly with everyone else in the class and just remember why that is. Just treat this as a job rather than school--would you be upset if you only had a couple of real friends at your 9-5 (assuming you've ever had a job, I know you say you're a stay at home mom).

 

[atomi]

Just treat this as a job rather than school--would you be upset if you only had a couple of real friends at your 9-5 (assuming you've ever had a job, I know you say you're a stay at home mom).

2nd.

You should also realize that after you take step 1, you're mostly on your own. Yes, M1 and M2 is pretty much high school all over again. But M3 and especially M4 isn't like that at all. I went months at a time M4 without seeing more than 3 or 4 of my classmates. If you don't want to be part of the high school environment and the cliques, don't feel like you have to. Just do your own thing and keep your chin up. I know people who were so needlessly upset the first two years because of drama involved with making friends and fitting in. If it's not bringing you happiness, dump it from your life. Making an effort to be social seems to be killing you, so if I were you, I'd just spend more time alone and with your family.

 

[deleted480308]

You should speak to a professional counselor/therapist about your problems...they can help you

 

[sylvanthus]

I don't know guys, the OP had what sounded like a great life before medical school, why spend the next 7+ years potentially regretting the decision to attend medical school, when everything was peachy beforehand?

Id say cut and run, you have a great group of people to hang out with at home, a husband who makes good money, why run the risk of potentially tossing out a lot of that in order to be a doctor, when you do not seem to enjoy any part of it thus far? I can guarantee it is just going to get harder.

Id seriously think about whether or not you want to continue, you have an easier chance running during you first year than when you are more fully invested in it. There are many many things you can do with your life that make things more interesting than spending a decade of your life being a doctor. If you are just looking for something to do so you are not just a stay at home mom, for the love of all that is holy there are a million things to do besides medical school that are less soul-sucking. Really think long and hard about whether you want to invest this much time if you are this miserable already, it is only going to get harder.

 

[Makati2008]

I don't know guys, the OP had what sounded like a great life before medical school, why spend the next 7+ years potentially regretting the decision to attend medical school, when everything was peachy beforehand?

Id say cut and run, you have a great group of people to hang out with at home, a husband who makes good money, why run the risk of potentially tossing out a lot of that in order to be a doctor, when you do not seem to enjoy any part of it thus far? I can guarantee it is just going to get harder.

Id seriously think about whether or not you want to continue, you have an easier chance running during you first year than when you are more fully invested in it. There are many many things you can do with your life that make things more interesting than spending a decade of your life being a doctor. If you are just looking for something to do so you are not just a stay at home mom, for the love of all that is holy there are a million things to do besides medical school that are less soul-sucking. Really think long and hard about whether you want to invest this much time if you are this miserable already, it is only going to get harder.[/
quote]

Agreed. Also could your attitude of my husband makes bank as you put it a major turn off to students. We had a few of those in my class and it was a major irritant.
I would consider PA school if you are in medicine to try help people.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

For some people, the social part of med school is hugely important. For others, it is not.

Several of my classmates had families with young kids starting medical school. That was their clear priority for the free time they had outside of school. And I and my friends had no issues with that, it just meant that those individuals were "colleagues" rather than "friends".

You have enough going on at home. Enjoy your husband and your children. Just be polite to people at school and don't worry about the rest of it. I agree with the poster above who mentioned that you are exhibiting some distorted/disastrous thinking. You should take a step back and try to re-evaluate your priorities. If school is causing you this much emotional distress, consider counseling.

As to the question of whether you should cut and run now; only you can answer that. But when you consider it, make sure you are basing the decision on what an actual career in medicine looks like, not based on the extremely transient M1-M2 years. And don't make the decision rashly in a moment of emotional distress; make sure to carefully think about and discuss all options with your family/support network.

 

[docterjew]

Medical students are not at all like people you meet in the real world , i.e. your future patients. Many of them have spent a significant portion of their lives in a library studying, and their worlds tend to be smaller than average. It sounds like you need to be surrounding yourselves with people who have more perspective on life and share your values more. The cliquey bull**** will hopefully end by the time you start clinicals. I urge you not to give up before you at least get on the wards and see how you interact with patients then.

 

[medstudent333]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. Thank you for telling me that med students tend to have a sense of entitlement and strangely absent normal social aptitude. I do definitely have to agree with this. I personally am more comfortable talking with a normal person I run into at the grocery store or a homeless person than with some cliquey girls. I was not expecting high school repeating itself which is sort of what is happening in a way. I also am MUCH happier working with a small group of people, like 3-4 students in clinicals. Thank you for urging me not to give up before I get on wards. Also I highly appreciated this: "I think we have all encountered several incredibly awkward physicians as a patient but they still give great care and are genuine."

I know that I need to forget about this school stuff and just focus on my family. I guess I just tend to be hyperaware of the reactions of those around me which is a blessing and a curse. I will notice everything that people around me are feeling which makes me more sensitive and careful not to hurt someones feelings but also makes me more vulnerable. I also take criticism very personally. I do need to somehow get over this because I know the field I am in that people are perfect to a fault and tend to be very critical.

Thank you for your advice to consider myself in practice many years from now and that things may change (people may die etc). I do see myself being happier as a practicing physician than just staying home especially when kids get older but even right now it is nice to have a break away from home during the day and then come back to enjoy family in the evening.

To the people who said I should quit:
Also to those who said I should just quit and enjoy life or start a hobby/small business, thanks for your advice but there is a reason that I chose to do medicine. Mainly because that is the field I am particularly passionate about and having strongly considered all other options I could not see myself happy in them. I don't think that because I am miserable now I will get more miserable because it gets harder... I enjoy challenges and there are aspects of what I am doing that I enjoy very much. I enjoy the material I am learning, interacting with professors and practicing physicians, as well as with other students on a small group basis. I also love being in the hospital and just feel right at home there.
To those who think I may be offending other students by bragging about having money or experience or something, you should consider that I mentioned that I tend to be a quiet person and try very hard to be kind to everyone so that is not an issue. I do appreciate the advice for being "actively" nice though, I think that is true. (For the record I have also worked at about 6 different jobs in the past, so not just stay at home mom experience...)

 

[medstudent333]

I think you are lumping two separate things together (having trouble with interviewing and not hitting it off with others) and crucifying yourself for it. Your interviewing will get better...as long as it's good enough to pass you will be fine. Not a big deal. I think we have all encountered several incredibly awkward physicians as a patient but they still give great care and are genuine. As far as why you are getting some push back from classmates...some thoughts:
- do you have an opinion about everything anyone says? cut people off?
- do you make people feel on a different level b/c you have a family? (some may be jealous that you have more than school)
- what sort of body language gestures do you make? [roll your eyes? (was surprised at how many of my classmates brought their attitude from puberty)]

As far as contemplating whether you should just pack up and go home or not is a big one. Remember that just as medical school and residency is temporary so are many things like your kids being small (will you regret not being a physician when your kids move out?), family being around (they move around, die, etc.), your husband making money (could lose his job, also die, etc.). Sorry I know that was very crass but you really need to ask yourself not only what life will be like instantly if you leave med school but also what it will be like in various situations at different phases and possible situations in your life. That's just my 2 cents - but this is all coming from me who is on the verge of dropping out of his M1 year and pursuing dentistry. Hope you feel better.

Thanks for your advice. Hope you make the best decision in regards to whether or not to drop out. I wish you all the best.

 

[mulberry]

For everyone who was saying "leave medical school while you can, you have a husband that makes bank" - Sorry to break it to you but not everyone goes into medicine simply because they're looking for a straight path to make 6 figures. There are some of us who genuinely care about the profession and making people feel better, both physically and mentally.

 

[sylvanthus]

For everyone who was saying "leave medical school while you can, you have a husband that makes bank" - Sorry to break it to you but not everyone goes into medicine simply because they're looking for a straight path to make 6 figures. There are some of us who genuinely care about the profession and making people feel better, both physically and mentally.

There are plenty of ways to make people feel better, without going through a decade of training when already miserable at the beginning of the path. It is a bad sign that a person says they are already miserable as a first year. Also, I find it a bit odd that you are talking about how much you apparently care about the profession when you were shooting for optometry in the not so distant past.

 

[Arkangeloid]

There are plenty of ways to make people feel better, without going through a decade of training when already miserable at the beginning of the path. It is a bad sign that a person says they are already miserable as a first year. Also, I find it a bit odd that you are talking about how much you apparently care about the profession when you were shooting for optometry in the not so distant past.

The cruel joke is that you only find out how miserable it is after you get in.

 

[IamPsychiatrist]

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[IamPsychiatrist]

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[primadonna22274]

It's not often that I advise women to become PAs instead of the long road to physician, but I agree with my buddy Makati that this would be a much quicker and less painful path for you to practice medicine and achieve the personal satisfaction of helping people.
Makati and I are both PAs who returned to med school after several years of practice (in my case 11). The big difference is that I don't have children by choice and I have a husband who enjoys teaching and makes a very humble income, and has no interest in doing something more lucrative. The process of becoming a physician is longer and harder and more expensive than that to become a PA, and I won't see a return on my investment for at least 5 more years. I'm doing this purely for personal satisfaction and the love of medicine--certainly not for financial gain and it has been very hard on all of my relationships. If I were somebody's mother I can't imagine how I could do it. Props to you if you can--but perhaps think about how miserable you are now and how happy you are at home with your family. Best wishes to you.

 

[Frozengrapes]

I totally understand where you're coming from. I had a somewhat similar experience last year, my first year in med school.

I'm probably 6-7 years older than the average med student in my class, and I found everyone to be extremely cliquey. I was coming from a job in a more urban setting where I was friends with people of all ages from different background and cultures. Mistakenly, I thought I would have an easy time fitting in and that everyone would be open to making friends with each other. I, too, came from a city with a very active social life and really felt like I could make friends with anyone.

NOT the case in med school. There is a clear cut "popular" crew, and all those other social cliques that people cling to. People actually determine friends and popularity based on how you dress!! I find it very off-putting and strange.

The good news is the end of first year and my time in second year have been way different and I've found that I can be friends with multiple groups. AND it's okay to not spend 24/7 with these friends, because ultimately you have a family at home. Bottom line, med school does NOT represent a place where you should expect to be friends with everyone immediately. People ARE judgmental and some outright rude to one another for no apparent reason, but chalk that up to youth and naiveté. Also, people can surprise you- if you make a little effort to go out of your way with at least one person you think you could have something in common with, it turns out they could become a great friend to you. It's not too late for that! And as long as you have even a couple of people you can be "school friends" with, it's definitely worth it.

The rest of the class- who cares what they think or feel? As long as you are interacting with them professionally when you need to, don't think twice about what their opinion may be. Focus on your goal of doing well in school and making even a couple of friends (chances are there are others in your class married/kids). I promise, it will pay off! Even making one acquaintance will have you feeling less isolated and a lot happier.

Please don't give up and don't let yourself feel "socially awkward" when you're not. Do whatever you need to regain your confidence. Give it some time, like I had to do myself, and it will pay off. You don't need to be friends with the whole class! Once you get past second year, chances are you will be exposed to new people each month or two and you will probably never have to be in this cliquey, strangely high school social environment again.

 

[Porfirio]

No way this is a serious post. You have a husband and 2 babies - why the heck do you care about trying to fit in with 22-24 year olds?

Go spend your time with your babies and husband. Enjoy this time (M1/M2) with them while you can - Step 1, M3, and Residency are coming.

Also, stop b*tching about being criticized. This is medicine, and you are going to need some thicker skin to survive.

 

[Anastomoses]

Now I am in med school... I have never been a social butterfly but I feel that I connect with no one at school. In my practice interviewing class I am constantly criticized by my professor when everyone else in my group receives praise. Criticism is basically that I am too quiet and socially awkward to sum it up. I also seem to have gotten into little arguments with some of my classmates, these are now resolved but I just seem to be having a hard time getting along with people here. I feel that everyone hates me and thinks that I am socially awkward. I feel that people are always judging me. When I talk to people I am dismissed and people seem to not want to get to know me. I really make an effort to be social but it gets exhausting. I do have a couple friends here but don't really have time to hang out because I have a family and kids at home. I don't have anyone to relate to here. I also tend to start hating people because of this, get resentful.

Should I just quit and return to my amazing life at home? Please advise, I have no one else to go to.

1. Don't quit for any of the reasons you gave. These things are so transient, if it's not an actual personality defect.
2. Focus more on your actual learning. Are you enjoying the material?
3. Without actually observing you in a social setting it's really impossible to cite what is creating this hostility or tension between you and your med school environment. We can try to help you speculate if you give us specific encounters and if you're particularly insightful?
4. As a first step, maybe notice a couple people whose personalities you like or whose style you appreciate...maybe cleverly pursue a connection with those students? It worked for me.

When things are going wrong, look for solutions - not whether to drop the ball. Good luck.

 

[Anastomoses]

The cruel joke is that you only find out how miserable it is after you get in.

You shush. You are only allowed to post after the next time you achieve over 80% on an exam.

 

[Arkangeloid]

You shush. You are only allowed to post after the next time you achieve over 80% on an exam.

Jokes on you, even if I fk up this exam I'll beast Psych a few weeks later.

 

[PrettyDoc82]

Hi OP I have dealt with your situation many times. Everyone hated me 1st and 2nd year and I have no idea what I even did! I am a nice friendly easygoing woman who gets along with everyone, even random people at the grocery store, so this was very difficult for me to handle, and I almost lost my mind dealing with my catty, hormonal hen classmates. Medical school is half full of spoiled bratty children of multi-millionaires who have had everything handed to them, and the other half are just plain socially ******ed because all they've been conversing with are their textbooks; so neither group has any idea or clue about politeness or manners. Don't feel bad. Most likely you are just too mature for them, and they are just nasty hostile competitive catty gossipy people in general, while you are nice and normal. 3rd and 4th year I did not see any of my classmates because I was at a hospital an hour away from everyone else closer to my house, and there was no drama. Be thankful that you are blessed with a beautiful family, very few people have that. Hope this helps. You are not the only one going through this, trust me. Don't sweat it

 

[PrettyDoc82]

Another thing I should say is, some people (many med students/law students etc) just have a hostile nasty look/attitude on their face when they are studying a lot and just aren't reacting to the stress of med school well so they just take it out on everyone else. Your classmates are just not as mature as you are at being put-together. You also have no idea what their personal lives are like, maybe they are having fights with their own husbands or boyfriends. So this has no reflection on you, they are just "still learning" how to cope. Keep smiling and stay positive

 

[Arkangeloid]

Medical school is half full of spoiled bratty children of multi-millionaires who have had everything handed to them, and the other have are just plain socially ******ed because all they've been conversing with are their textbooks, so neither group has any idea or clue about politeness or manners.

The first part is true at least. I've never seen so many crazy rich people as I have in med school.

 

[Porfirio]

The first part is true at least. I've never seen so many crazy rich people as I have in med school.

Haha, so true. My background is quite the opposite, but there is no shame in being good friends with someone whose parents own a large fishing boat in Maine or a cabin up in Northern New Hampshire or a Manhattan penthouse. You don't need the background. You just need the right friends.

Also, I am sure they have single rich friends whose parents need to pawn off a daughter or two.

 

[PrettyDoc82]

The first part is true at least. I've never seen so many crazy rich people as I have in med school.

I have rich multi-millionaire friends who are all nice and sweet, humble, polite and normal. But not the ones in med school. Sheesh!

 

[alpinism]

Haha, so true. My background is quite the opposite, but there is no shame in being good friends with someone whose parents own a large fishing boat in Maine or a cabin up in Northern New Hampshire or a Manhattan penthouse. You don't need the background. You just need the right friends.

Also, I am sure they have single rich friends whose parents need to pawn off a daughter or two.

One of the few perks of being a med student.

 

[Lavan]

M1/M2 years, particularly at schools that still offer actually grades instead of P/F, can be very isolating and challenging. There were a lot of cliquish groups and the whole scene wasn't ideal. M3 and the clinical work really brought people together and was actually great for the class as a whole. You may find things improving as you progress.

Remember that the hoops of contrived interviews and other such medical school activities are just hoops. It's a game you play to get where you want to be. During fourth year you can spend a significant amount of time away from school. And then you can move back home.

 

[IamPsychiatrist]

The first part is true at least. I've never seen so many crazy rich people as I have in med school.

Well, who is likely to have all the skills, time, resources to maximize applications? A family who earns 500k-1 million or a single mom in the ghetto with 4 kids who are on food stamps?

 

[mcloaf]

Well, who is likely to have all the skills, time, resources to maximize applications? A family who earns 500k-1 million or a single mom in the ghetto with 4 kids who are on food stamps?

This only grinds my gears when I see kids from dual physician families who work at the home institution receive "merit" scholarships to the affiliated med school.

 

[crimsonkid85]

So I am in my 1st yr of med school. I moved across the country with 2 babies and a husband to attend school here. My husband and kids are amazing and they do not interfere at all with school. I left an amazing family, friends, and support system. But I was excited to pursue my dreams and felt that it was my purpose/ passion in life. Also I was just not satisfied with the life of being a stay at home mom, it was not for me, I need more drive/craziness in life.

Now I am in med school... I have never been a social butterfly but I feel that I connect with no one at school. In my practice interviewing class I am constantly criticized by my professor when everyone else in my group receives praise. Criticism is basically that I am too quiet and socially awkward to sum it up. I also seem to have gotten into little arguments with some of my classmates, these are now resolved but I just seem to be having a hard time getting along with people here. I feel that everyone hates me and thinks that I am socially awkward. I feel that people are always judging me. When I talk to people I am dismissed and people seem to not want to get to know me. I really make an effort to be social but it gets exhausting. I do have a couple friends here but don't really have time to hang out because I have a family and kids at home. I don't have anyone to relate to here. I also tend to start hating people because of this, get resentful.

After going home for break I had a great time and everyone respects me/us there. We have great, great friendships, amazing family, strong social standing there, husband was making BANK(more than most doctors), go out to restaurants with other couples, we were LIVING THE LIFE. I got my confidence back but then when I returned here it was crushed again. I am sitting here crying because I don't know why I even moved here. I am miserable. The only thing that keeps me holding on is the small hope that maybe everyone is judging me wrong and I just get nervous during my practice interviews and that in real life I will be better with my future patients. Do I have false hope? Should I just quit and return to my amazing life at home? Please advise, I have no one else to go to.

Your duty in medical school is to learn and equip yourself with the knowledge to treat patients as an intern, resident, and beyond. Your duty is to your future patients, not to your professors, and most CERTAINLY not to your classmates. You are in medical school to learn how to become a physician, not to make friends. Once you make peace with this, you will be amazed at how well you'll get along with everyone!

 

[GangaMaster]

Mainly because that is the field I am particularly passionate about and having strongly considered all other options I could not see myself happy in them.
I also love being in the hospital and just feel right at home there.

Translation: If this isn't the most used excuse for why a person wants to be a doctor, its a brain-dead response when no one can really articulate why they want to become a doctor that isn't selfish. You watch too many doctor shows while your plopping out kids and sitting at home bored taking care of them while your husband is out making bank.

I don't think that because I am miserable now I will get more miserable because it gets harder... I enjoy challenges and there are aspects of what I am doing that I enjoy very much.

You have no idea what is miserable yet. Its not because of "challenges" challenges means a struggle is justified, when you start getting hammered and disrespected just because the person can do it to you with no justification. When you want to cry but you've used all the tears in your eyes up. Then you will know what miserable is.

I hope your sure you made the right decision and not because you don't want to look like a quitter, because in 7 years you'll see whether your kids and husband resent you or you come to realize you don't care about people.

 

[DermViser]

There are plenty of ways to make people feel better, without going through a decade of training when already miserable at the beginning of the path. It is a bad sign that a person says they are already miserable as a first year. Also, I find it a bit odd that you are talking about how much you apparently care about the profession when you were shooting for optometry in the not so distant past.

Ouch, that's going to leave a mark.

 

[DermViser]

Translation: If this isn't the most used excuse for why a person wants to be a doctor, its a brain-dead response when no one can really articulate why they want to become a doctor that isn't selfish. You watch too many doctor shows while your plopping out kids and sitting at home bored taking care of them while your husband is out making bank.

You have no idea what is miserable yet. Its not because of "challenges" challenges means a struggle is justified, when you start getting hammered and disrespected just because the person can do it to you with no justification. When you want to cry but you've used all the tears in your eyes up. Then you will know what miserable is.

I hope your sure you made the right decision and not because you don't want to look like a quitter, because in 7 years you'll see whether your kids and husband resent you or you come to realize you don't care about people.

 

[rodmichael82]

So I am in my 1st yr of med school. I moved across the country with 2 babies and a husband to attend school here. My husband and kids are amazing and they do not interfere at all with school. I left an amazing family, friends, and support system. But I was excited to pursue my dreams and felt that it was my purpose/ passion in life. Also I was just not satisfied with the life of being a stay at home mom, it was not for me, I need more drive/craziness in life.

Now I am in med school... I have never been a social butterfly but I feel that I connect with no one at school. In my practice interviewing class I am constantly criticized by my professor when everyone else in my group receives praise. Criticism is basically that I am too quiet and socially awkward to sum it up. I also seem to have gotten into little arguments with some of my classmates, these are now resolved but I just seem to be having a hard time getting along with people here. I feel that everyone hates me and thinks that I am socially awkward. I feel that people are always judging me. When I talk to people I am dismissed and people seem to not want to get to know me. I really make an effort to be social but it gets exhausting. I do have a couple friends here but don't really have time to hang out because I have a family and kids at home. I don't have anyone to relate to here. I also tend to start hating people because of this, get resentful.

After going home for break I had a great time and everyone respects me/us there. We have great, great friendships, amazing family, strong social standing there, husband was making BANK(more than most doctors), go out to restaurants with other couples, we were LIVING THE LIFE. I got my confidence back but then when I returned here it was crushed again. I am sitting here crying because I don't know why I even moved here. I am miserable. The only thing that keeps me holding on is the small hope that maybe everyone is judging me wrong and I just get nervous during my practice interviews and that in real life I will be better with my future patients. Do I have false hope? Should I just quit and return to my amazing life at home? Please advise, I have no one else to go to.

Hey you're giving yourself a hard time.
Hell with these practice interviews, they do not define who you are as an amazing individual, as an amazing mother and as an amazing wife.
A lot of people judge me at my school and think I'm socially awkward and yeah maybe I am but who cares?
All that matters right now is that you have a beautiful family that cares about you. You should seriously stop caring about what others think especially in medical school. I have noticed that medical school can sort of be like high school with little cliques and people seeking attention. Don't let it get to you.
You should NOT be going out of your way to make friends, they will come to you. I know that I'm some random SDN user but seriously I know the type of environment you are around and you can make the choice to not let some childish med students destroy your positive attitude. Find a friend or two and just stick to them, work hard and try to become an amazing physician for your patients and also importantly for your family.

God bless!

 

[Kahreek]

it is hard, but remember that there are people in the same situation as yours but all alone. Go day by day like it is a job. Do your thing, it all will come together

 

[Freezer]

the most important lesson an introvert learns in medical school is to not take criticism personally and to only focus on your own performance rather than the performance of others... as a fellow introvert, all i can say is that medical school is tough, its extremely difficult to trust peers, especially the nice ones, and that the nightmare always finds a way of getting worse... but i find that focusing on the job of medicine is extremely rewarding and watching a gunner get thrown under the proverbial bus is even more satisfying... seriously, i wish i had the sense to grab a video as i could watch that all day... dont quit, you are doing great!

 

[medstudent333]

Hi OP I have dealt with your situation many times. Everyone hated me 1st and 2nd year and I have no idea what I even did! I am a nice friendly easygoing woman who gets along with everyone, even random people at the grocery store, so this was very difficult for me to handle, and I almost lost my mind dealing with my catty, hormonal hen classmates. Medical school is half full of spoiled bratty children of multi-millionaires who have had everything handed to them, and the other half are just plain socially ******ed because all they've been conversing with are their textbooks; so neither group has any idea or clue about politeness or manners. Don't feel bad. Most likely you are just too mature for them, and they are just nasty hostile competitive catty gossipy people in general, while you are nice and normal. 3rd and 4th year I did not see any of my classmates because I was at a hospital an hour away from everyone else closer to my house, and there was no drama. Be thankful that you are blessed with a beautiful family, very few people have that. Hope this helps. You are not the only one going through this, trust me. Don't sweat it

Thank you for saying this. I think I was just going through an emotional phase and I am realizing how true this is. You are super sweet!

 

[medstudent333]

Translation: If this isn't the most used excuse for why a person wants to be a doctor, its a brain-dead response when no one can really articulate why they want to become a doctor that isn't selfish. You watch too many doctor shows while your plopping out kids and sitting at home bored taking care of them while your husband is out making bank.

Excuse me!!! It is because of people like you that I want to become a doctor, self-righteous people who think they know everything and give sh*tty care to their patients. I have a very good idea of what I would like to specialize in and open my own clinic to provide these services but I don't want to reveal who I am over the internet to people like you. If you would care to read... I said that I have worked many jobs in the past and have earned my way through everything. Both me and my husband came from nothing and together have made it to success. And I have never watched doctor shows but have spent many hours in the hospital as patient, with my children and by working for years in the hospital. Kids are not "plopped" out, you have just insulted God's most precious and vulnerable creation and please do not be sexist, being a mother is THE hardest job there is, no questions asked. I would like to see if you could handle 1 hour with a baby that is screaming their head off in pain and there is nothing you can do about it. Period.

 

[medstudent333]

Translation: If this isn't the most used excuse for why a person wants to be a doctor, its a brain-dead response when no one can really articulate why they want to become a doctor that isn't selfish. You watch too many doctor shows while your plopping out kids and sitting at home bored taking care of them while your husband is out making bank.

Translation: If this isn't the most used excuse for why a person wants to be a doctor, its a brain-dead response when no one can really articulate why they want to become a doctor that isn't selfish. You watch too many doctor shows while your plopping out kids and sitting at home bored taking care of them while your husband is out making bank.



You have no idea what is miserable yet. Its not because of "challenges" challenges means a struggle is justified, when you start getting hammered and disrespected just because the person can do it to you with no justification. When you want to cry but you've used all the tears in your eyes up. Then you will know what miserable is.

I hope your sure you made the right decision and not because you don't want to look like a quitter, because in 7 years you'll see whether your kids and husband resent you or you come to realize you don't care about people.

Excuse me!!! It is because of people like you that I want to become a doctor, self-righteous people who think they know everything and give sh*tty care to their patients. I have a very good idea of what I would like to specialize in and open my own clinic to provide these services but I don't want to reveal who I am over the internet to people like you. If you would care to read... I said that I have worked many jobs in the past and have earned my way through everything. Both me and my husband came from nothing and together have made it to success. And I have never watched doctor shows but have spent many hours in the hospital as patient, with my children and by working for years in the hospital. Kids are not "plopped" out, you have just insulted God's most precious and vulnerable creation and please do not be sexist, being a mother is THE hardest job there is, no questions asked. I would like to see if you could handle 1 hour with a baby that is screaming their head off in pain and there is nothing you can do about it. Period.

BTW--I have heard countless people like you complain about the difficulties of med school, 1st year being the worst. I don't know why, maybe for your own recognition, but really it is not that bad. The only part that sucks is having to deal with closed minded, ignorant people who think they know everything while they are killing their patients.

 

[medstudent333]

You are sexist and ignorant. See below.

 

[DermViser]

You are sexist and ignorant. See below.

Please tell me how I am sexist and ignorant by pasting . This should be interesting.

 

[medstudent333]

Hey you're giving yourself a hard time.
Hell with these practice interviews, they do not define who you are as an amazing individual, as an amazing mother and as an amazing wife.
A lot of people judge me at my school and think I'm socially awkward and yeah maybe I am but who cares?
All that matters right now is that you have a beautiful family that cares about you. You should seriously stop caring about what others think especially in medical school. I have noticed that medical school can sort of be like high school with little cliques and people seeking attention. Don't let it get to you.
You should NOT be going out of your way to make friends, they will come to you. I know that I'm some random SDN user but seriously I know the type of environment you are around and you can make the choice to not let some childish med students destroy your positive attitude. Find a friend or two and just stick to them, work hard and try to become an amazing physician for your patients and also importantly for your family.

God bless!

Thank you! You will be a great physician! What truly matters is how much you care about other people.

 

[medstudent333]

Please tell me how I am sexist and ignorant by pasting . This should be interesting.

I will pray for you. I already wrote my response to the person you were praising. Look in the past posts. Way to kick someone when they are down, you will be a great physician, not.

 

[atomi]

This thread sucks. Everything everybody on here has posted is a total disgrace. Somebody lock this POS.

 

[DermViser]

I will pray for you. I already wrote my response to the person you were praising. Look in the past posts. Way to kick someone when they are down, you will be a great physician, not.

My response was to the quote "You have no idea what is miserable yet. Its not because of "challenges" challenges means a struggle is justified, when you start getting hammered and disrespected just because the person can do it to you with no justification. When you want to cry but you've used all the tears in your eyes up. Then you will know what miserable is."

He/She is 100% correct. If you think MS-1 is tough, you've seen nothing yet.