I want to be a doctor but...

[Jane Doe23]

I want to be a doctor but I have trouble articulating that. I am not here to ask what I "should" say or what the "right" answer to the question "Why do you want to be a doctor?" is, I already know my answer. I want criticism and opinions on my reason and how to better put it into words. Please feel welcome to (respectfully) poke all the holes you can in my reason so I can be better prepared for interviews and have thought of every possible aspect I need to.

I want to be a doctor because I am terrified of doctors. When I was 15 years old I had a very traumatic experience with a doctor who was very unprofessional which actually resulted into me going into therapy. To this day I struggle going to the doctor, so my situation is kind of like the person who becomes a teacher because they had a really good teacher that they wanted to grow up to be like or had a really bad teacher that they wanted to grow up to be the opposite of, either way their teacher inspired them. I want to be able to help people who have had traumatic experiences by using my understanding of their emotions and fears, or for people who haven't had those types of encounters making sure that I do my best to not be the doctor that causes those problems.
That being said, no, I do not want to be a psychiatrist. I am interested in medicine, I want to work in a hospital and I would love to be a surgeon. I am very scientifically and mathematically oriented and while I do want to interact with patients I also want to spend my days in a hectic hospital environment, wear the scrubs, and do the fun stuff. I don't want my entire day to consist of nothing but counseling patients.
I know I said "the fun stuff"; yes I realize medicine isn't all sunshine and rainbows. My father is a veterinarian and I grew up in a vet clinic, so even though there are obviously many differences, it is still a medical environment and I have seen both the ups and downs of a career in medicine.

Please don't try and convince me that I don't want to be a doctor or that I would be better suited in another field. I know this is what I want to do, I just want others opinions on how I should better articulate my reasoning for going into medical school.

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[DJ2MD]

What kind of experience in medicine have you had that hasn't got anything to do with your trauma and your father? Have you ever shadowed a surgeon? Have you been in an operating theatre? Can you be more specific than "the fun stuff?"

Personally, I wasn't able to articulate exactly why I wanted to go into medicine until I had some substantial shadowing and started to work in a clinic. If you have had extensive clinical experience (other than being around your father) and still struggle with "why medicine," then you might just need a lot of brainstorming and writing sessions to flesh it out. If you haven't had much clinical experience, you should consider getting on that because, come on - how do you know medicine is what you want to get into when you don't have any experience in it? I know you said you didn't want to be a therapist, but why not? The adcoms are gonna ask that, you know. They are gonna ask why not nursing? Why not NP or PA? They are not gonna like it if your answer is "I wanna wear scrubs and do fun stuff." To be honest your reasons sound undeveloped and immature. I'm not an adcom member, but if I was one I would be really underwhelmed by what you just said.

Also, aside from this med school game - I understand some stuff happened to you and it still haunts you, but you have to find a way to let it go. I don't mean as in "forget about it," I mean you can't let your experience define who you are. It's easier said than done, but you are going to be a lot happier if you live in the moment and let your present-self make decisions instead of your scared-self from the past. Good luck.

 

[Jane Doe23]

Thank you for your insight. No, I do not have clinical hours yet but I do have them scheduled. I will be beginning shadowing a family practitioner in August. I am still working on finding a surgeon to shadow.

I feel that I should give you a little more information about myself and my school career to be able to better explain my original post and the things you are unclear about. I will be starting my fourth year of college this year but I will not have my bachelors degree for another two years. When I began college I was a premed student because I knew that I was intelligent and that I wanted to help people with the same issues as myself. However, I graduated high school a year early and I was still young when I started college, I still had a lot of maturing to do, and I was still a competitive athlete. Although I maintained a 3.7 GPA, my main focus my first two years in school was not school. I changed my major to kinesiology because I thought I wanted to be a coach since I was so involved in sports, I also thought that it would be easier than trying to get into medical school and essentially I was going to take the easy way out. I was working two jobs, and training 20+ hours a week for my athletics so I didn't want to think about everything that would go into being premed. After worlds in 2014 I retired from my sport and I changed my major to interdisciplinary studies (biology, chemistry, and photography are my three areas of study currently). I spent all last year thinking and debating on what I wanted to do with my life because I had finally gotten out of athletics and matured and realized that I want to focus on my studies and that even though trying to go to medical school would be incredibly hard that it is still what I want to do and it will be worth every minute of it. This is why I have not had any clinical experience yet, since it was not my main priority in the past I never took time to schedule it. Once I decided this is the path I want to take I immediately went and spoke to my premed advisor and began searching for a doctor to shadow.

When I said the fun stuff and listed the scrubs I meant it to be light hearted not completely serious. By "fun stuff" I mean diagnosing illnesses and solving problems that seem impossible to figure out (I always enjoy a good challenge). I mean I want to get be involved first hand in surgeries and emergencies- that work out for both the good and the bad. I want to be able to tell families that we saved their loved one or that the surgery went great and they should heal quickly. I also understand that it won't all be good, that people will be terminally ill, or be paralyzed, and will die and that I will have to tell their families this as well which I am perfectly fine with because nothing in life is all good all the time. I meant that I look forward to constantly learning new things and to dedicating my time to bettering my knowledge to be able to help others. When I am interested in something I love learning about it, I look forward to going to conferences and finding out new techniques and advances in medicine and I look forward to learning from my peers or even being able to teach my peers something they might not have known.

The main reason I don't want to be a therapist is because I don't feel like they are involved as I would like to be. I want to work first hand with patients and their physical health, my attitude towards helping others like myself would be a bonus. I don't want to spend my days counseling others and working with solely their mental health.

I don't want to be a nurse or a PA because I want to be the one to solve the problems and diagnose the illnesses. My mom is a nurse, from what I understand they find out preliminary information from patients and they come back in after the doctor has decided what the problem is and give the finishing directions. While I know they have a difficult job and I am not in any way trying to undermine what they do, they are not the ones who have to think critically about what is wrong and what the solution is. Also from what I understand a PA would have more patient contact than what I am interested in, yes I want to help people overcome fears but I don't want a huge portion of my job to be consoling patients, I would still like to participate in the more challenging parts of medicine (like the surgeries, emergencies, etc).

Thank you for your advice about trying to overcome my experiences, and I am very avidly working on that. It is not the only reason I want to go to medical school but it is the best one I am able to articulate at the moment. Hopefully once I have had actual clinical experience I will be able to fully explain my motives.
I really appreciate that you took the time to comment on my post, it has helped a lot.

 

[Goro]

So your rationale is "I want to be a doctor because I had a bad doctor and I want to be better than he was"?

I want to be a doctor but I have trouble articulating that. I am not here to ask what I "should" say or what the "right" answer to the question "Why do you want to be a doctor?" is, I already know my answer. I want criticism and opinions on my reason and how to better put it into words. Please feel welcome to (respectfully) poke all the holes you can in my reason so I can be better prepared for interviews and have thought of every possible aspect I need to.

I want to be a doctor because I am terrified of doctors. When I was 15 years old I had a very traumatic experience with a doctor who was very unprofessional which actually resulted into me going into therapy. To this day I struggle going to the doctor, so my situation is kind of like the person who becomes a teacher because they had a really good teacher that they wanted to grow up to be like or had a really bad teacher that they wanted to grow up to be the opposite of, either way their teacher inspired them. I want to be able to help people who have had traumatic experiences by using my understanding of their emotions and fears, or for people who haven't had those types of encounters making sure that I do my best to not be the doctor that causes those problems.
That being said, no, I do not want to be a psychiatrist. I am interested in medicine, I want to work in a hospital and I would love to be a surgeon. I am very scientifically and mathematically oriented and while I do want to interact with patients I also want to spend my days in a hectic hospital environment, wear the scrubs, and do the fun stuff. I don't want my entire day to consist of nothing but counseling patients.
I know I said "the fun stuff"; yes I realize medicine isn't all sunshine and rainbows. My father is a veterinarian and I grew up in a vet clinic, so even though there are obviously many differences, it is still a medical environment and I have seen both the ups and downs of a career in medicine.

Please don't try and convince me that I don't want to be a doctor or that I would be better suited in another field. I know this is what I want to do, I just want others opinions on how I should better articulate my reasoning for going into medical school.

 

[Jane Doe23]

So your rationale is "I want to be a doctor because I had a bad doctor and I want to be better than he was"?

Essentially, yes. I am very interested in medicine, like I said in my response to DJ2MD, and that is what I want to study (rather than psychiatry, nursing, etc) for the reasons listed above.
When you put it like that though, maybe I shouldn't make that the main focal point as to why I want to be a doctor. Maybe it would be better as a supplementary reason.
Thank you for your input, I hadn't thought of it as coming off that way.

 

[BlitheDilettante]

That line is problematic. You probably have to spin it around somehow. My first impression when reading it was if you were to encounter a bad waiter who happened to cause a sufficiently traumatic restaurant experience, would you want to be a waiter too, just to prove that you could be a better one.

That being said, a passion kindled from disdain, anger, and dissatisfaction may prove to be an ineffective way to present it in your PS.
I would not include it, unless you can articulate it in another "innovative" manner to show it positively influence your pursuit of medicine. However, I think it always sounds negative no matter what. You can't undo the wrongs by others by being a doctor, and you can't significantly reduce the number of bad doctors by being one either. Of course, everyone applying to med school aspires to be a "good" doctor, thus that line of reasoning "wanting to be a good one" isn't good either.

 

[HCHopeful]

Essentially, yes. I am very interested in medicine, like I said in my response to DJ2MD, and that is what I want to study (rather than psychiatry, nursing, etc) for the reasons listed above.
When you put it like that though, maybe I shouldn't make that the main focal point as to why I want to be a doctor. Maybe it would be better as a supplementary reason.
Thank you for your input, I hadn't thought of it as coming off that way.

Erm... You do realize that psychiatry is a specialty doctors can pursue, right? The way you worded it, it sounds as if you think psychiatry is a completely different field...

Anyway, now that I'm done being nitpicky... Don't include this reason at all. It's really not a good one. It may be in your mind, which is fine if it's the true motivating factor. However, committees will just stare at your essay and think, "Wut?"

Trying to be better than everyone else is not a great attribute to display to committees, and that's how this comes across. "This person sucked, so Imma be better..."

I don't know, maybe it's just the way I'm thinking of it! While I have no doubt you are sure a career in medicine is for you, I don't think this reason is a strong enough motivation to pursue a career in medicine. I am NOT saying you shouldn't pursue medicine. I am saying that adcoms will read this reason and think, "That's really not a great reason to devote your life to the s*** you have to go through and will go through for the rest of your life."

Just my $0.02. Invest it, earn compound interest, and you'll be rich someday.

 

[Jane Doe23]

Erm... You do realize that psychiatry is a specialty doctors can pursue, right? The way you worded it, it sounds as if you think psychiatry is a completely different field...

Anyway, now that I'm done being nitpicky... Don't include this reason at all. It's really not a good one. It may be in your mind, which is fine if it's the true motivating factor. However, committees will just stare at your essay and think, "Wut?"

Trying to be better than everyone else is not a great attribute to display to committees, and that's how this comes across. "This person sucked, so Imma be better..."

I don't know, maybe it's just the way I'm thinking of it! While I have no doubt you are sure a career in medicine is for you, I don't think this reason is a strong enough motivation to pursue a career in medicine. I am NOT saying you shouldn't pursue medicine. I am saying that adcoms will read this reason and think, "That's really not a great reason to devote your life to the s*** you have to go through and will go through for the rest of your life."

Just my $0.02. Invest it, earn compound interest, and you'll be rich someday.

Yes I do realize that psychiatry is a specialty doctors pursue, sorry for my poor wording on the matter.
So if I can't include this one, now my problem is what do I say that doesn't sound generic? This is the truth and it is a reason as to why I want to go into medical school. It is not the sole reason by any means, but I thought that it would be one of the reasons that I included since it does play a role as a motivating factor. I am scared that if I say other things that I may sound insincere.

Also, I do not at all mean to come off as "I want to be better than everybody else". That is not my personality, I just want to try to make a difference, you know? I know that everyone who wants to be a doctor wants to a good one, I just wanted to make it clear that my motives aren't the money or prestige that I am sincerely interested in peoples well being.
That being said, thank you for pointing out that it came across that way and for your advice on everything.

 

[zoopers]

Yeah, so instead of saying that you want to be the complete opposite than that doctor, I'd say you want to emphasize how that doctor affected you and your views.

By experiencing what you experienced, you understood the impact that a doctor can have on the patient care experience. How doctors aren't just involved in treating a problem, but caring for a patient. Having been put in the vulnerable position of being a patient, completely helpless and with your fate in the hands of the doctor, you got a different perspective of the doctor's role in care. Then explain why that's important to you however you want/can.

The way that it comes across currently is that you want to prove a point. Which is a terrible reason to do anything.

 

[doc05]

I think the term is "troll"

 

[Goro]

I get nervous when someone described clinical activity as "the fun stuff"....I strongly suggest that you do some clinical volunteering in a place that involves actual patient contact, rather than, say, stocking shelves in the supply pantry. Even better, try nursing homes or hospice.

You, I want you to get your hands dirty.

Essentially, yes. I am very interested in medicine, like I said in my response to DJ2MD, and that is what I want to study (rather than psychiatry, nursing, etc) for the reasons listed above.
When you put it like that though, maybe I shouldn't make that the main focal point as to why I want to be a doctor. Maybe it would be better as a supplementary reason.
Thank you for your input, I hadn't thought of it as coming off that way.

 

[Jane Doe23]

Yeah, so instead of saying that you want to be the complete opposite than that doctor, I'd say you want to emphasize how that doctor affected you and your views.

By experiencing what you experienced, you understood the impact that a doctor can have on the patient care experience. How doctors aren't just involved in treating a problem, but caring for a patient. Having been put in the vulnerable position of being a patient, completely helpless and with your fate in the hands of the doctor, you got a different perspective of the doctor's role in care. Then explain why that's important to you however you want/can.

The way that it comes across currently is that you want to prove a point. Which is a terrible reason to do anything.

Thank you for your input, this is very helpful. Like I said, I am having trouble communicating what I want to say. I do not want to put myself through years of intense schooling and residency to prove a point, that's a horrible idea and far from why I want to go to medical school.
I will definitely take a path closer to what you said and then follow it up with the in depth reasons why it is important to me.

 

[Jane Doe23]

I get nervous when someone described clinical activity as "the fun stuff"....I strongly suggest that you do some clinical volunteering in a place that involves actual patient contact, rather than, say, stocking shelves in the supply pantry. Even better, try nursing homes or hospice.

You, I want you to get your hands dirty.

I have every intention of doing so. I start my clinical hours in August shadowing a family practitioner. Thank you for the advice though, I am going to look into nursing homes around here to see about volunteering.
My hands will be dirty.

 

[BlitheDilettante]

Also, since you focused mostly on problem solving, I would suggest
- looking into what specific experiences with problem solving (stating that you "love making diagnoses and solving hard medical problems" would not do it, since you are not a doctor yet), what scenarios that challenge your critical thinking skills and show your persistence in figuring out the solution. This is a good way to bolster your desire to pursue the most challenging career in medicine (doctor), since you deem others (PA, nursing, etc.) as "not challenging enough" (from what I understand)

- figuring out a "defining" moment when all factors come together to solidify your aspiration, and elaborate upon it.
(so far all of your posts have been about your reasoning, but such reasoning should be subtly delivered by experiences on your PS, so just find appropriate ones to back your reasoning up)

Being a doctor = a big sacrifice from yourself beside doing the "fun stuff." Your positive attitude is great, but you may consider some hands-on opportunities like CNA, EMT, and ED scribe (not much hands-on) to get a real feel of how it's like. Volunteering and shadowing may not get your hands dirty enough.

 

[Jane Doe23]

Also, since you focused mostly on problem solving, I would suggest
- looking into what specific experiences with problem solving (stating that you "love making diagnoses and solving hard medical problems" would not do it, since you are not a doctor yet), what scenarios that challenge your critical thinking skills and show your persistence in figuring out the solution. This is a good way to bolster your desire to pursue the most challenging career in medicine (doctor), since you deem others (PA, nursing, etc.) as "not challenging enough" (from what I understand)

- figuring out a "defining" moment when all factors come together to solidify your aspiration, and elaborate upon it.
(so far all of your posts have been about your reasoning, but such reasoning should be subtly delivered by experiences on your PS, so just find appropriate ones to back your reasoning up)

Being a doctor = a big sacrifice from yourself beside doing the "fun stuff." Your positive attitude is great, but you may consider some hands-on opportunities like CNA, EMT, and ED scribe (not much hands-on) to get a real feel of how it's like. Volunteering and shadowing may not get your hands dirty enough.

That is a very good point, I hadn't thought of it that way. I know that I am not a doctor yet so I can't say that I like solving medical problems like you said. However, I hadn't thought of it as I should focus on other things that I do to focus on problem solving and facing challenges. When you say it like that you make it sound so condescending, which in retrospect it does come off that way. I don't mean it as they aren't challenging enough, I understand that everything in the medical field is going to be difficult, I just feel that if I am going to put myself through learning that much and going through as much school as they do that I should go a few more years and become a doctor because I have faith in myself that I know I would be able to. I feel like if I did one of those that I would regret it later in life and think "I could have been more" or "what if I had pushed myself to be a doctor?".

I have looked into becoming an EMT and working as one while I finish my bachelors degree, but my premed advisor had advised against it saying that I would be just as good off without it as long as I have sufficient volunteer and shadow hours.
I may look back into it though, because you are right I would definitely get my hands dirtier by doing that.
Thank you for commenting, I appreciate it.

 

[BlitheDilettante]

I don't mean to make it sound condescending, but you got my point. Spend some time thinking about the problem-solving topic. As you put much emphasis on it earlier, I think you'll feel confident talking about it in your PS. You can muse over academic experience, or think broader in terms of human interactions and collaboration in addition to your individual capability (I guess your sport experience may help). The latter is very much appreciated in medicine since it is a healthcare team effort.

EMT may take so long to finish (1 school year in my area) and thus is not practical. I may suggest CNA instead. The course is about 1-month long, then you get certified and work.

 

[Jane Doe23]

I will for sure look into becoming a CNA, that is by far more practical than spending a year becoming an EMT. Thanks for the advice!