I was hit on by the physician I shadowed.

[mehc012]

I don't hate anything. Quite the opposite. I'm having too much fun from it and I want it to keep continuing... at maximal speed with the best audience possible



Would it be bad to tag her here?

I don't personally like to tag people...always felt demanding to me. But that's very much a personal preference and not one I at all expect to be held by anyone else on SDN.

I'm just saying that it's not like I had some specific reason for not tagging her, I just don't tend to tag anyone. If you want to, go for it.

---

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[Glazedonutlove]

so dramatic
@touchpause13

 

[Lawpy]

oh my god. If efle was in this from the beginning though

still going. I love it!
@efle you missed out

@efle being here would be awesome. I want to discuss with him some important philosophical treatises in this matter, especially a perspective from a hedonistic utilitarian and a Kantian.

so dramatic
@touchpause13

You are a brave and heroic person.

 

[bumblebee611]

You claimed that, as a woman, you could understand OP and not Law2Doc. Not as a person who was victim of "constant, low-level pestering", but as a woman. That is literally what you said. And of course, the correlate is that Law2Doc cannot understand OP not because he isn't a victim of "constant, low-level pestering", but solely because he is a man.

It is factually evident that men are also victims of "constant, low-level pestering" (and that not every woman is), but it does not fit your narrative of the poor, oppressed lamb in a world of predators, so you choose to sweep it under the rug and deny the experience of every single male (perhaps Law2Doc among them) who has ever been harassed or abused.

I appreciate you changing the goalpost, though.

Here, I'll try taking a stab at what I suspect Cotterpin was saying--I thought it fairly clear, given the speed at which folks are posting, and I suspect you are being deliberately obtuse, but it's something like this: Women are often the victims of this kind of constant, low-level pestering. Therefore we're more likely to accept OP's story as truthful, because things like this happen to us quite frequently. Men almost never experience this sort of stuff. Therefore when a man immediately says "AHA she must be making it up," those of us who've had the experience and find it commonplace and believable attribute your disbelief to the fact that your experience is unlikely to have taught you this particular fact of life--that the constant, low-level pestering is in fact a constant bother (or worse) for many women.

 

[mehc012]

Here, I'll try taking a stab at what I suspect Cotterpin was saying--I thought it fairly clear, given the speed at which folks are posting, and I suspect you are being deliberately obtuse, but it's something like this: Women are often the victims of this kind of constant, low-level pestering. Therefore we're more likely to accept OP's story as truthful, because things like this happen to us quite frequently. Men almost never experience this sort of stuff. Therefore when a man immediately says "AHA she must be making it up," those of us who've had the experience and find it commonplace and believable attribute your disbelief to the fact that your experience is unlikely to have taught you this particular fact of life--that the constant, low-level pestering is in fact a constant bother (or worse) for many women.

Exactly. There's only one woman poster in here who seems to take issue with OP, and even then, her stance seems to have been "of course those things happen, but isn't it nice that men like us so much?", rather than "that sounds unbelievable".

*Note: this in no way means that there aren't male posters who have experienced similar, or who understand despite not having done so.

 

[bumblebee611]

#2 Getting asked out is not harassment. It is not being hit on. When I read the original post, it screamed, "Someone who is unattractive to me asked me out." I showed it to my wife sitting on the plane next to me and she made two comments, #1 it is normal for people who meet each other at work to start dating, why would it me weird for someone in a non-professional relationship with someone to ask you out? #2 This would not have been an issue if they were closer in age and attractive, sounds like they are ageist.

But since Law2Doc has gone on and on about how this isn't an employment relationship, it seems to me that the criticism that OP was simply "ageist" is misplaced. Sure, getting asked out isn't harassment, but when the ask or approach seems completely unwarranted by the situation, or it's objectively outrageous that the asker/approacher seems to think the askee/approached would be receptive, the problem arises. The reason it wouldn't be a problem if a cute guy closer to her age asked her out after a friendly afternoon of shadowing is that said cute guy might reasonably think she is interested! But when yes, a gross old man who probably hasn't established any sort of friend-like relationship with her approaches her, he has to know that the advance is unwanted, just as much as hair-smellers have to know that their sniffing is unwelcome. Then, women are socialized to act like jlin (jllin? can't remember) and downplay their objection so as to "let a guy down easy" or not be labeled a man-hating lesbian b!tch, and then pigs further say well, she wasn't clear and how was I to know and I thought she was just playing hard to get .... Get real. The doctor knows when it might be reasonable to ask a woman out or express his attraction/interest, and in a case like this one, he knows perfectly well she would never be interested and he's just hoping to get somewhere because she is vulnerable/feels obligated/etc.

 

[soadhead]

But since Law2Doc has gone on and on about how this isn't an employment relationship, it seems to me that the criticism that OP was simply "ageist" is misplaced. Sure, getting asked out isn't harassment, but when the ask or approach seems completely unwarranted by the situation, or it's objectively outrageous that the asker/approacher seems to think the askee/approached would be receptive, the problem arises. The reason it wouldn't be a problem if a cute guy closer to her age asked her out after a friendly afternoon of shadowing is that said cute guy might reasonably think she is interested! But when yes, a gross old man who probably hasn't established any sort of friend-like relationship with her approaches her, he has to know that the advance is unwanted, just as much as hair-smellers have to know that their sniffing is unwelcome. Then, women are socialized to act like jlin (jllin? can't remember) and downplay their objection so as to "let a guy down easy" or not be labeled a man-hating lesbian b!tch, and then pigs further say well, she wasn't clear and how was I to know and I thought she was just playing hard to get .... Get real. The doctor knows when it might be reasonable to ask a woman out or express his attraction/interest, and in a case like this one, he knows perfectly well she would never be interested and he's just hoping to get somewhere because she is vulnerable/feels obligated/etc.

What if she had a friendly afternoon of shadowing with the older "gross" doctor? Why is a cute younger man able to establish a friend-like relationship in a day, but an older unattractive man can't? Why does the older man have to think of himself as unattractive? There are plenty of women who are attracted to older men, especially successful men.

 

[Glazedonutlove]

What if she had a friendly afternoon of shadowing with the older "gross" doctor? Why is a cute younger man able to establish a friend-like relationship in a day, but an older unattractive man can't? Why does the older man have to think of himself as unattractive? There are plenty of women who are attracted to older men, especially successful men.

who she finds attractive is her choice, not yours

 

[soadhead]

who she finds attractive is her choice, not yours

Never said it was. Seems like you replied to my post without reading it.

Edit: Or, more likely, you misunderstood what I wrote.

 

[Cyberdyne 101]

oh my god. If efle was in this from the beginning though

Yeah I don't see anything about gpa disparities or existentialism in this thread.

 

[Lawpy]

Yeah I don't see anything about gpa disparities or existentialism in this thread.

But the philosophy tho

 

[Doudline]

Here, I'll try taking a stab at what I suspect Cotterpin was saying--I thought it fairly clear, given the speed at which folks are posting, and I suspect you are being deliberately obtuse, but it's something like this: Women are often the victims of this kind of constant, low-level pestering. Therefore we're more likely to accept OP's story as truthful, because things like this happen to us quite frequently. Men almost never experience this sort of stuff. Therefore when a man immediately says "AHA she must be making it up," those of us who've had the experience and find it commonplace and believable attribute your disbelief to the fact that your experience is unlikely to have taught you this particular fact of life--that the constant, low-level pestering is in fact a constant bother (or worse) for many women.

And how is that rhetoric any different from that of men stating that women give false signals all the time, that they play pretend for your attention, etc? For all we know, this may have been how the physician in OP's case felt. He genuinely thought OP was interested. You wouldn't know, or be able to understand, because you're a woman. Right?

 

[Satire5Texul]

Can I chime in here as a gay man and from a male's perspective that I've also noticed that men tend to be much more perverse. I believe what the women in this thread have gone through, as I have experienced much of the same from men, as a man. It's amazing what guys think they can get away with. The things I have had whispered in my ear, the random butt grabs, and the "it's just a hookup, dude" attitude, makes me uncomfortable, yet somehow all these guys think it's okay and they get away with it. It's also not much different in the gay community in terms of older guys, which we call "daddies" trying to get with younger gay men in their 20s. I'm not surprised by a guy asking a chick to "come over for the weekend," or "asking for a piece of hair," or unwanted touching, because all of this seems like a weekly to everyday occurrence to me.

Keeping on par with this thread. You sound hot. Add this to to your weekly tally.

 

[WedgeDawg]

I'm impressed that you guys managed to hold this together until page 10, but I think that we've moved far enough away from the original topic that I am going to lock this. Thank you guys for being civil for as long as you did.