if anyone can offer some advice...

[1moretime]

So I am pretty messed up.
I m in my mid twenties and going into my second year of pharmacy school. Before I applied to pharmacy school, I was in a post bac with a gpa of 2.8 from georgetown; I got a 3.2 (3 Bs, 1A). I knew it was because I was dealing with a lot of internal issues (poor self-esteem,how dumb I was, and anger about the underserved population-I just hated the world and spent a lot of time thinking about how messed it was (esp after joining americorp)--im not trying to get sympathy im just being honest about my experience).
Anyway, I dropped out of the post bac program after 1 semester to find myself and figure things out.
After a year, I still didnt figure much out, but I hated not having direction and a purpose, so i decided to apply to pharm school with the hopes that I could still make some difference without directly dealing with the underserved (i thought it was too emotional for me). also, since my overall gpa sucked, and i performed so badly in the postbac, i wasnt emotionally mature to pursue med school.
now, im in pharmacy school, have all a's and since the time i decided to apply to p school and now having finished a year im starting to reevaluate what ive done.
after volunteering in diff clinics and dealing with that population again, i found that even tho it was difficult a few yrs ago, i really love helping them and i wish i could do more. after realizing the limitations of pharm as far as pt contact is not for me, i dont think i will be content doing this forever. so i dont know what to do...
see, i told you. im pretty messed up. advice? pls be honest but not cruel.

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[1moretime]

anyone on today?

 

[NuttyEngDude]

from what i understand, med schools want you to finish what you've started, especially if you are more than a year in (someone correct me if i'm wrong). so evaluate if you can do some quality volunteer on-top of the pharmacy stuff and if you can and enjoy it then you have a good combination for a career. if you want to go to medical school, start looking into what you need to get back into it after you graduate. either way, get that volunteer work in and find something volunteer wise that is more enjoyable if you find you don't like it. it could be that sometimes you just need a break from the volunteer work if it is starting to get you down, i dont think they would mind if you took a week here or there to recharge.

other than that you'd have to look at the numbers to see what you need to do in order to improve your app. i dont have much info because i don't know how to do the pharm to md transition but i wish you luck

 

[Alex557]

So I am pretty messed up.
I m in my mid twenties and going into my second year of pharmacy school. Before I applied to pharmacy school, I was in a post bac with a gpa of 2.8 from georgetown; I got a 3.2 (3 Bs, 1A). I knew it was because I was dealing with a lot of internal issues (poor self-esteem,how dumb I was, and anger about the underserved population-I just hated the world and spent a lot of time thinking about how messed it was (esp after joining americorp)--im not trying to get sympathy im just being honest about my experience).
Anyway, I dropped out of the post bac program after 1 semester to find myself and figure things out.
After a year, I still didnt figure much out, but I hated not having direction and a purpose, so i decided to apply to pharm school with the hopes that I could still make some difference without directly dealing with the underserved (i thought it was too emotional for me). also, since my overall gpa sucked, and i performed so badly in the postbac, i wasnt emotionally mature to pursue med school.
now, im in pharmacy school, have all a's and since the time i decided to apply to p school and now having finished a year im starting to reevaluate what ive done.
after volunteering in diff clinics and dealing with that population again, i found that even tho it was difficult a few yrs ago, i really love helping them and i wish i could do more. after realizing the limitations of pharm as far as pt contact is not for me, i dont think i will be content doing this forever. so i dont know what to do...
see, i told you. im pretty messed up. advice? pls be honest but not cruel.

Based on everything you've said, one of the major problems you've been dealing with over the years is fighting the urge to work with disadvantaged populations. Why are you drawn to this specific population? Did you grow up in a disadvantaged area or were you part of a disadvantaged economic population as a kid?

If you want to work in public health because you were poor as a kid, then don't *make* yourself work with this population out of guilt. Don't use guilt as your career compass.

I used to want to work with psych patients because I was depressed as a teenager. But working with psych patients (which I've done) 24/7 would depress me, it's not the healthiest choice. So I put my personal needs first. I can't be a competent healthcare provider if I can't protect myself emotionally. I'm not ashamed to say that either

Based on my life experiences and having worked with cancer patients too, I'm much better at serving cancer patients. I love oncology, though as I learn more about medicine, I'm open to working in other medical fields as well.

Again, what's your purpose for wanting to work in public health?

If you can't control your emotions first, you can forget about everything else. You won't have the emotional and physical energy to apply to medical school and survive the application process. Once you're able to get a hold of yourself and make the definite decision to apply to medial school AND you know why you want to do it, you'll be fine.

Also, what's your purpose for wanting to go to medical school this time around? And what type of difference and care do you want to provide to your perspective patients?

I don't think you're messed up. In fact, you could become one of the best healthcare providers out there. The fact that you've been through so much yet refuse to give up is a sign of strength. You just haven't figured out how strong you are yet

• You're not stupid.
• You are good enough.
• You are smart enough.
• And you're worthy of living your dreams.

PM me if you need extra support.

Peace - Alex

 

[1moretime]

Thanks for the replies and insight. You know, Im not exactly sure why Im drawn to this population...I didnt grow up poor, not rich, just ok. But, I guess Ive always felt protective of people who cant fend for themselves. Its frustrating for me bc I was never in that situation and I wish others didnt have to be either. Ive never really asked myself that question. Anyway, Ive done a few things to serve the community in the past and I just have always gotten very emotional about it. But once I took time off after the post bac, I had a lot of time to reflect and I think I just decided that I could help from afar so to speak. Perhaps working for who or something similar. Now in pharmacy school and volunteering at various clinics, my perspective has changed (maybe its also age) and Im not angry so much anymore about the situations they are in, but I just wish I could do more.
One of the reasons I dropped out the post bac was because I was just so scared that I couldnt cut it. I mean Ive performed well in standardized tests and so forth, but being a physician is an entirely different story. I put so much pressure on myself on having to be completely together that it was too much for me and I quit. This was how I was in undergrad. I just never thought Id be good at it because I had poor selfesteem. Its hard to commit to something as big as medicine without having confidence that you will make it. And i also feared that if I ever made it to med school and then i failed out, then what would i do?
Anyway, thats more of the backstory. Medicine has always been in the back of my mind but I never had confidence that I could be a good doctor.