Is it worth it? Need some advice

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BobbyWalters

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I apologize in advance for posting this, because I have found snippets of my situation on several different threads, but it seems my exact "I'm-screwed-ness" is unique.

I am a late bloomer in life, and only recently did I even start to consider the possibility of a career in medicine. I just turned 28, so what have I been doing all these years? I graduated in '09 with a Plant Biology degree, 2.51 cGPA (got in with the wrong crowd early that fed my poor study habits with late night parties, etc). I worked in a greenhouse/research lab for about 3 years, all throughout undergrad, and upon graduating decided I wasn't ready to have a career and become an adult. I left the field entirely and relocated to a Buddhist urban monastery to get my mind straight, since I lacked any sense of direction and wanted to find out what I should do with my life. Two years later, I had to leave, since I had become so entangled in the politics and administration there that I was no longer meditating and progressing with my goal of self-discovery. The help had clearly become a hindrance, and all I had gained was a vague notion to return to school, sober and with a new purpose: to redeem myself and see how well I could actually do. This was back in 2012. I picked a 2nd Bachelor's program in Biochemistry, because I have to virtually retake every science course, and a vague backup plan was to get a MS in Biochem. First semester was a 3.73, with only 1 B+ in Calculus I, damnit. Not a 4.0 with only General Bio I and II and Calc killed my confidence. I still did not have strong study habits and was half-assing. Things then took a turn for the worse. Next sem I failed Orgo I and withdrew from all other classes, which I had then split with a local CC. Fast Forward now 2 years later now to the present, I am struggling to even complete any class I enroll in at my CC. I am just trying to take something, anything, that I can finish and get a good grade in. What happened? I am not entirely sure. It seems I have a very deep habit of self-sabotage.

Is DO school still an option? PA school? From what I read on these forums, yes. MD is almost certainly no. Even if I had 4-5 years of PB work at 4.0, the upward trend would be awesome, but with some rough calculations it showed I could only get to a 3.2. Plus with the way AMCAS averages grades and such, it doesn't look good. I already have too many quarter units with a crap GPA. Because I already have a BS, my sGPA is horrendous. The GPA repair will be many years in the making. Is this worth it? Not sure. Do I really want to become a doc? I do not have enough experience in the field to know. Just from what I read, both on SDN and library books about doc life, as well as what I hear from doc friends, it seems like a good fit. Committing far enough to even volunteer at the local hospital is a step I am still trying to accomplish. I feel that if I excel in the next few semesters, then the possibility will gain more momentum, I will gain more confidence, and I will then start EC's, shadowing, volunteering. I truly lack any clear direction and I have nebulous ambition (or am afraid) and thus my current situation is working two low-income jobs in food service while attending community college taking physics and math (living at home with frustrated parents). Working on self-esteem in an academic setting more than anything else is my top priority. However the academic discipline is still lacking. Somebody needs to shake my shoulders and be like WAKE UP DUDE. Thank you for reading this, I needed to verbalize and share my situation, and I apologize again, now that we are at the end, for wasting your time. Any feedback/advice/criticism is much appreciated.

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You have already answered your question. You have yet to demonstrate that you would survive a medical school curriculum, nor have you explained why you even want to.

It seems I have a very deep habit of self-sabotage.

Just to make sure: no and no.
Is DO school still an option? PA school? From what I read on these forums, yes.

This is not GPA repair, but GPA suicide.
Next sem I failed Orgo I and withdrew from all other classes, which I had then split with a local CC. Fast Forward now 2 years later now to the present, I am struggling to even complete any class I enroll in at my CC.


Only you can do this. This has to come from within. Medicine is a calling, like being a policeman or priest. Time for Plan B.
However the academic discipline is still lacking. Somebody needs to shake my shoulders and be like WAKE UP DUDE.
 
I was also an auditor and quit at 26 to start taking med school pre-reqs, of which I had none. I did it informally at my local university and it took two years. I would have considered a formal "career-changer" post-bacc but there were none in my area, and in hindsight I would do it the same way again. I had a somewhat higher GPA than you, but it's still certainly doable in your scenario.

As was posted above, try and dip a toe in the water before committing. But if you do commit, you have to REALLY commit. Ace your post baccs, start accumulating and sticking with extracurriculars, be thinking about letters of recommendation, and eventually devote a solid few months to the MCAT. If you're a good student and are able to maintain your motivation, you'll be fine.
 
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Honestly, you don't sound even remotely ready for this. Everything about your post says "I don't know, I'm not ready." Trying to get into medicine as a non-trad is so much work, and takes such a sustained commitment and drive, and I think you just aren't ready yet. Go into the world, get a job and stay with it, succeed at that for a while, and work on your confidence. Then, volunteer in the medical field to see if you even like it. If that works out, then try to take one CC class (possibly even non-science at first) and see how it goes. If you kill it, then you are ready to go back to tackling science classes. The world of medicine isn't going anywhere, and if you really want this, you will still want it in a few years. PM me if you have any questions about anything; always happy to help.
 
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Is this worth it? Not sure. Do I really want to become a doc? I do not have enough experience in the field to know

^This sums up perfectly why you should not even consider entering medicine in your current state. If you're interested in science there are a variety of careers you could go into (you need to talk to science faculty, friends, etc to learn about different fields and opportunities), but you need to figure out why you're struggling so much in basic undergrad coursework. I wish you luck
 
Honestly, you don't sound even remotely ready for this. Everything about your post says "I don't know, I'm not ready." Trying to get into medicine as a non-trad is so much work, and takes such a sustained commitment and drive, and I think you just aren't ready yet. Go into the world, get a job and stay with it, succeed at that for a while, and work on your confidence. Then, volunteer in the medical field to see if you even like it. If that works out, then try to take one CC class (possibly even non-science at first) and see how it goes. If you kill it, then you are ready to go back to tackling science classes. The world of medicine isn't going anywhere, and if you really want this, you will still want it in a few years. PM me if you have any questions about anything; always happy to help.
I think the highlighted is some of the best advice on this thread. OP your confidence is clearly shot. You need to succeed at something as an adult to really right your ship. I had a somewhat similar experience (even tho for me it was the mcat and getting a job, not the grades), several years ago, and I didn't have the confidence necessary to do what I needed to too get into medical school till 2 years ago.

You need to feel successful as a person again before you will be successful as a student. The roadblock may be mental (as demonstrated by your good semester with a decent load), but you need a real resolution to the confidence thing to move forward. For me that was getting and keeping a full time job for several years. I cant say its exactly the same for you, but the broken confidence is the same story. This is sucky cause it means you need to spend more years fixing yourself, but once you do you will be able to confidently move forward knowing your making the right decision (Or also deciding that medicine isn't for you, you need to leave that possibility open). When you succeed you will have a great story for adcoms, and they love to see someone who has overcame adversity.
 
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Interesting stuff here...clinically. But not appropriate for this venue.
Professionly...been adressed.

So that brings me to my real propose here...socially. You wanted to party so you did. You didn't fall into that line of coke or slip overboard into that trip or whoops your way into that bong rip or accidentally do a keg stand....well because that's what Joey was doing and...so...how could you say no?

You did that stuff and it was fun. Then you went full monk. Until you didn't. Then you're not studying because it's sucky and hard.

The right question to ask is why you've brought it up here?

Because there is no answer. Ask all your questions to your bathroom mirror.
 
Interesting stuff here...clinically. But not appropriate for this venue.
Professionly...been adressed.

So that brings me to my real propose here...socially. You wanted to party so you did. You didn't fall into that line of coke or slip overboard into that trip or whoops your way into that bong rip or accidentally do a keg stand....well because that's what Joey was doing and...so...how could you say no?

You did that stuff and it was fun. Then you went full monk. Until you didn't. Then you're not studying because it's sucky and hard.

The right question to ask is why you've brought it up here?

Because there is no answer. Ask all your questions to your bathroom mirror.

Is it intention that you speak like this? I'm just curious.
 
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