Keeping it real inside the pressure cooker

[hygebeorht]

For those of you in vet school, can you talk about how you maintain perspective when you see the same ~100 people all day every day? Does all that stress and togetherness bother you, or do you find it supportive? How do you cope when you feel like you're living in a pressure cooker?

I'm looking for wise advice to help me be a considerate classmate, and to know how to deal with being around the exact same crew day in and day out, for better or worse

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[Coquette22]

Basically the same stuff you'd do to be a considerate human being. Be nice to people, don't try to step on someone's neck to get a better grade, avoid being cliquey, etc. If you're really good at x, help someone out. You never know when you might really suck at y and need a hand from someone. If you take good notes for yourself and someone misses a lecture, let them copy them or copy a lecture you recorded. Baked goods are usually helpful too.

My class is, for the most part, a big family. I mean that in both a good and bad way. There's people I don't particularly care to deal with (just like some of my extended family) but being bitchy doesn't help that. So I'm polite and they're polite to me and we get on with it. Other people are some of the best friends I've ever had in my entire life.

One thing our class does a lot of - Facebook. And not just for class stuff (though we definitely use it for asking questions before exams, scheduling, etc). It's pretty common for someone to post, "Hey, me and so-and-so are going to (insert event, movie, pub, whatever) tonight at 7. Come along if you want to!"

(That said, I keep hearing that our class is just weird and other years at AVC haven't been nearly as hold-hands-and-sing-songs as we are. )

 

[lailanni]

Invest time in activities outside of vet school - different hobbies you can do with different groups of people that may be completely unrelated to vet med. I can't stress that enough. Have some kind of outlet where you don't need to think about medicine and the people around you aren't stressing over exam results.

Don't participate in gossip, and don't care about the gossip going around.

Be quick to lend a helping hand to anyone - not just your immediate group of friends. When many people have an attitude like that it makes life a lot easier.

Vet school is essentially getting an adopted family for 4 years. Like most families, there will be good times and bad times. You may want to strangle one of your "siblings" like in real families too. But recognize that a family can be a source of support and strength. Be kind to others and it usually comes back around.

Someone you may barely spend time with now could be the partner you have for 12 hour overnight shifts in 4th year. Someone that gets on your nerves now may volunteer to trade you shifts when you want to go to a family event on a busy rotation. Over 4 years you will find yourself interacting with almost every member of your class. You won't be best buddies with everyone, but you can treat them with respect and professionalism.

Bottom line: cultivate a life outside of school. Be kind and considerate to everyone.

 

[scb44f]

Basically the same stuff you'd do to be a considerate human being.

[...]

One thing our class does a lot of - Facebook. And not just for class stuff (though we definitely use it for asking questions before exams, scheduling, etc). It's pretty common for someone to post, "Hey, me and so-and-so are going to (insert event, movie, pub, whatever) tonight at 7. Come along if you want to!"

Yes to both of these! Make the effort to say hi to and chat with people you don't normally hang out with. Especially at the beginning... The people I spent a lot of time with at the very beginning of vet school are not the people I hang out with now. I found this group because I just started eating lunch with them and found I had a lot of similar interests.

Bottom line: cultivate a life outside of school. Be kind and considerate to everyone.

Absolutely agree with this. One of my friends takes herding lessons with her dogs. I take horseback riding lessons. It is a way for us to work with animals still but NOT have to talk about what's wrong with them, and we are doing these activities with people we don't see every day. It's just plain nice.

I promise you that there will be a dramafest on facebook or the class listserv at some point, but the best thing to do is just laugh and move on. Case in point: today we found out that our biggest/meanest final of this block was moved from this Thursday to next Wednesday and people had a fit over which day worked better for them personally, which turned into an all caps "screaming" match on fb. Very professional Some of my close friends got worked up about it too, but you know what? Either way I'd have to take the stinking test and now I just get to giggle about the sarcastic comments people are leaving.

My friends and I have potlucks every now and then, and lately we've been having "Stitch and B*tch" parties where we get together, crochet/knit, and just talk about life. We try not to talk about school, and instead focus on family, one of our friends' farms (they have all sorts of animals with all sorts of things happening at any given time so we like updates), funny youtube videos, etc.

Edit: Coming from a school that was 75% male, vet med is a VERY different setting that I'm still getting used to. I do not get involved in drama unless someone just starts telling me about it. Otherwise, I don't hear many rumors and I don't care to know. I definitely come home frustrated, but that is less about my classmates and more about classes and my difficulty memorizing mounds of information.

Oh, Coquette is right about the baked goods. If you are a stress baker but don't want to eat all that sugar, your classmates will love you

 

[that redhead]

Be civil to everyone. Even if you can't stand them. Even if they spit in your bean curd at lunch. This includes doing your darnedest not to gossip.

Participate in class events. Get to know as many classmates as possible. Chances are a few of the early friendships will change- you won't want to feel isolated if that happens.

If you're like me, know your limits and your needs. I'm on the borderline between introvert and extrovert. I need my alone time or I started to feel frazzled. I advocate living alone, or at least not with any classmates, but that's a personal decision. At least be able to get away from it all sometimes, either at school or at home.

 

[hygebeorht]

This is all great to hear. I really don't do Facebook and haven't for years...don't really want to get back into it. Will that be a big annoyance, do you think?

 

[bunnity]

We share a lot of info, questions and answers, etc on our class FB page. I think you'd be kind of out of the loop if you weren't on FB, but other schools may vary.

 

[scb44f]

This is all great to hear. I really don't do Facebook and haven't for years...don't really want to get back into it. Will that be a big annoyance, do you think?

Aside from all the drama stuff, my class's facebook has a lot of "Hey I made flashcards", or "Just FYI, Dr. soandso said our exam is all multiple choice", etc. so it's not vital information, but it can definitely be helpful.

 

[that redhead]

This is all great to hear. I really don't do Facebook and haven't for years...don't really want to get back into it. Will that be a big annoyance, do you think?

I think it would definitely benefit you to have a FB account and be a member of the class group. It's pretty much the only reason I decided to keep my FB around (contemplated deactivating it) and I'm glad I did. It's a quick way to get clarification on questions, share information (from "Dr. X said know this!" to "here's an entire study guide that I made for the midterm") and be aware of social events that classmates may be having.

 

[hopefulinva]

I sit in the front of the room so I actually spend a lot of time not seeing my classmates.

But actually I really love my class. I'm not saying we're all wonderful human beings all the time and I'm definitely not saying we don't get on each others' nerves to the point of near-fiasco, but for the most part my class is very aware of its overall personality and the awesome individual people who contribute to it. But it's taken us some time to get to this point. The first semester there was a lot of tension, as you might expect; 126 of us, no one really knows what they're doing and the administration here has a distinctly hands-off approach. We managed to piss off a couple of our professors and some of the upperclassmen by our blatant disregard of the dress code - which is to say no one ever told us what it was, what we were doing wrong, and how we needed to change it. This chaos evolved into a mess it never should have, because we were spending way too much time with each other and way too much time under stress the likes of which very few of us had ever been under before. So tensions were high.

Plus I'm very much an introvert by the strictest definition of the word (which is to say social interactions drain me more than they energize me), and a lot of the social interactions at the beginning of the year seemed very artificial to me. I would come home from them feeling quite miserable about my position in the class.

But as the year has progressed we've gotten MUCH much better, and there's really no one in my class I wouldn't feel comfortable sitting with at lunch or anything like that. =)

So all this to say I don't at all feel like I'm in a pressure cooker anymore.

EDIT - Re: Facebook -- I wouldn't be able to live without it. There are often last-minute notifications of Wine Wednesdays or bar nights going up on the group page, and some very last-second clarifications for exams and stuff like that. Definitely worth it, imo.

 

[hygebeorht]

I sit in the front of the room so I actually spend a lot of time not seeing my classmates.

Plus I'm very much an introvert by the strictest definition of the word (which is to say social interactions drain me more than they energize me), and a lot of the social interactions at the beginning of the year seemed very artificial to me. I would come home from them feeling quite miserable about my position in the class.

EDIT - Re: Facebook -- I wouldn't be able to live without it. There are often last-minute notifications of Wine Wednesdays or bar nights going up on the group page, and some very last-second clarifications for exams and stuff like that. Definitely worth it, imo.

Ditto to front of the class and introvert. I often don't even know who's in class with me...awkward when they come up to you later and you don't recognize them. And I love hanging out and doing fun stuff, but it really drains me too...good to know introverts do fine!

I just really hate Facebook and don't really want to use it anymore. I should probably just delete my profile or something...I guess I'll see when I end up where I'm going.

 

[Camelidcrazy]

Be respectful is the best advice given. Try really hard not to be that jerk who ask rude questions every lecture like 'Why are we learning about capsaicin. Dogs don't eat spicy food' -or- 'Why are we learning about [insert species], how many of us are actually planning on going into that medicine?'. On the flip side, try to be respectful of the a-holes in your class. (Are they a-holes? Yes. Does being a jerk to them solve anything? Nope. Just screws with the class dynamic.) I also totally agree with the gossip. Especially in the beginning of the semester our whole class got sucked in to the point where 30 people would stay after class to smack top the class a-holes. Made for a tense few weeks.

Basically if its a skill you learned in kindergarten, you will need it in spades in vet school.

I try to treat everyone how I want to be treated. Don't say anything unless I have something nice to say. Give everyone their turn. And follow the cardinal rule- no biting.

 

[CanHardlyWait]

Soo, yeah, basically I really don't love being in the same room with the same 100+ people all of the time. It's really not reflective of my classmates, it's me 100%. I'm a loner at heart and am not from a big family. I also went to undergrad as a married, upper 20something, so my undergrad life was very separate from my "real" life. I'm not used to being with people all of the time and frankly find it overwhelming often, even though I'm not shy or introverted really. That being said, I agree with Hopeful (one of my awesome classmates) that our class is like a family, the good and the bad. I definitely feel like I could sit with anyone at lunch or ask anyone for help. I hope people feel that way about me. But I do keep to myself socially a lot more than most, and frankly prefer it that way. I want to cultivate professional relationships with every classmate, and real friendships with some, but it's important to me to keep my life somewhat detached from vet school, at least while I still can. It's a way for me to keep the pressure down. I never had Facebook before vet school and, despite some peer pressure, still don't. I haven't missed anything that I needed to know and as for the social info that I'm sure I'm missing, well, maintaining my privacy and sanity are just more important to me.

I agree with what everyone on here has said about respecting everyone in your class. Someday not to far in the future, you will be in serious and stressful situations with them and need their support. Surgery, overnights, ER rotations, times you screw up with a patient, when a client makes you want to cry....best to be on the best terms possible with everyone.

Oh, yeah, and keep your sex life to yourself. Especially if it's with your classmates.

 

[LetItSnow]

I'm looking for wise advice to help me be a considerate classmate,

Apologize swiftly, and in person.

 

[Minnerbelle]

I agree with what everyone on here has said about respecting everyone in your class. Someday not to far in the future, you will be in serious and stressful situations with them and need their support. Surgery, overnights, ER rotations, times you screw up with a patient, when a client makes you want to cry....best to be on the best terms possible with everyone.

If you know a certain person pushes your buttons, don't engage and keep your distance. Don't be the person who pushes other people's buttons.

And something a very very wise clinician said, "Don't judge someone based on their worst moments, no matter how stupid or wrong or bad it seemed at the time. You wouldn't want people judging you for your worst actions."

 

[hygebeorht]

Oh, yeah, and keep your sex life to yourself. Especially if it's with your classmates.

Thanks for the heads-up. I expect some vet school incest is to be expected, but I guess I didn't think about oversharers. Yowza.

Apologize swiftly, and in person.

Excellent advice. My mom always says there are two things that cost you nothing and are worth their weight in gold: compliments and apologies.

If you know a certain person pushes your buttons, don't engage and keep your distance. Don't be the person who pushes other people's buttons.

And something a very very wise clinician said, "Don't judge someone based on their worst moments, no matter how stupid or wrong or bad it seemed at the time. You wouldn't want people judging you for your worst actions."

That sounds like a wise clinician indeed.