Lions, Tigers and Bears: Vet School is a Real-Life Nightmare

[that redhead]

I'm just feeling really done with everything right now. I don't hate it, I just want to be out. My motivation to listen in class has plummeted and I feel guilty but still..aargh.

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[twelvetigers]

I'm just feeling really done with everything right now. I don't hate it, I just want to be out. My motivation to listen in class has plummeted and I feel guilty but still..aargh.

Yuuuuuuup.

 

[Minnerbelle]

I'm just feeling really done with everything right now. I don't hate it, I just want to be out. My motivation to listen in class has plummeted and I feel guilty but still..aargh.

At least you feel guilty. I was like 100% apathetic with 0 shame well before this point last year

 

[DVMDream]

At least you feel guilty. I was like 100% apathetic with 0 shame well before this point last year

I already feel this way currently. Is it too early to feel this way only 3 semesters through?

 

[skittles12]

At least you feel guilty. I was like 100% apathetic with 0 shame well before this point last year

I agree...I hit this feeling pretty early into the second semester of 3rd year...

 

[scb44f]

I already feel this way currently. Is it too early to feel this way only 3 semesters through?

Not at all. I think I was there during 2nd semester.

 

[twelvetigers]

I have my first exam Tuesday... having a hard time getting started. I technically started twice and got ticked about how I was taking the notes and decided to change - so I have restarted three times so far. Not productive.

Why do I have to be so anal retentive about how my notes are organized (as opposed to being retentive about how well they actually make it into my head)?

 

[HorsesRLife]

I have my first exam Tuesday... having a hard time getting started. I technically started twice and got ticked about how I was taking the notes and decided to change - so I have restarted three times so far. Not productive.

Why do I have to be so anal retentive about how my notes are organized (as opposed to being retentive about how well they actually make it into my head)?

Ha, yeah... studying = sadness because notes =awful

 

[Escalla]

*poof*

 

[DVMDream]

Escalla, if you ever want to rant to me, just send me a message on facebook. I am always around because I never sleep...

Hopefully talking through it on Monday with someone at the school will give you some insight into what is best to do. But until then, if you want someone to just rant and complain to I am all ears.

ETA: I have definitely been where you are. Contemplating if staying is worth it or not. So, I don't mind chatting about things.

 

[NStarz]

So sorry, Escalla. If you need to talk, feel free to message me. Please know you're not alone in your feelings. I wish you all the best!

 

[dyachei]

Escalla, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. just remember you aren't alone in it and it's not uncommon to feel that way

 

[NJjess]

Maybe it's because I am in my first year still but I am loving vet school. I didn't realize that so many people felt this way

 

[BlackDog17]

Have you thought about talking to a professional? If nothing else, it might help you figure out what the root of the problem is and whether it's something that you can overcome.

 

[Escalla]

Thank you. <3

I've never been this unhappy before. I think it's only being magnified by the fact that getting into vet school/being in vet school has been the center of my life for years upon years and I just cannot emotionally handle my failure to do well at what I love and what I have been so invested in for so long. It's killing me inside.

I do think I need to see a professional no matter what happens.

 

[StartingoverVet]

Escalla -

Definitely see someone. Without discussing details it is hard to give "advice", although I am not sure if you really need that as much as a place to complain. I really know what you are going through and would also be happy to chat. Being in a "new" school is probably not the best since this is really really common, and many (most?) people feel this way to a degree, even if they don't express it.

 

[Escalla]

Escalla -

Definitely see someone. Without discussing details it is hard to give "advice", although I am not sure if you really need that as much as a place to complain. I really know what you are going through and would also be happy to chat. Being in a "new" school is probably not the best since this is really really common, and many (most?) people feel this way to a degree, even if they don't express it.

Thanks SOV. I think I definitely needed to out what has been going on somewhere. Hopefully once I sit down with some admins, I'll be better able to seek advice from those of you that understand. I just wish I knew what my options were or what has been done before. Leaving it to a committee at the end of the year is what I'm scared of and I'm even more scared that the admins I'm meeting with won't be able to give me the information I seek since it would likely be a committee decision on what options they could offer anyway. *sigh*

 

[bunnity]

Thanks SOV. I think I definitely needed to out what has been going on somewhere. Hopefully once I sit down with some admins, I'll be better able to seek advice from those of you that understand. I just wish I knew what my options were or what has been done before. Leaving it to a committee at the end of the year is what I'm scared of and I'm even more scared that the admins I'm meeting with won't be able to give me the information I seek since it would likely be a committee decision on what options they could offer anyway. *sigh*

I took a year leave for very similar reasons. A bunch of my friends have been through similar feelings as well. Please talk to a professional - your school probably has a counseling center with a crisis hotline. I'd be happy to chat too if that would help in any way!

 

[that redhead]

@Escalla I'm sorry to hear that. I wouldn't say I've dealt with the same level of trouble but I've certainly had my moments. You are more than welcome to vent through pm or bounce thoughts off me. I think you're right to stay connected, even if it just means getting the feelings off your chest. Hang in there <3

 

[TooLove]

During all the preparation, I think we have the tendency to glorify vet school until we actually get there, and then we realize that it isn't nearly as great as we had imagined it would be. If you wouldn't be happy doing anything else, just remember that vet school is by no means a representation of what you'll likely be doing as a veterinarian, so it's okay to not like it. It's not okay to be unhappy the way it sounds like you are though, so I will echo everyone else and urge you to talk to someone. I hope you are able to figure out what you need to be happy. <3

 

[Escalla]

Thank you, guys. I really needed this. <3

 

[Coquette22]

I've never been this unhappy before. I think it's only being magnified by the fact that getting into vet school/being in vet school has been the center of my life for years upon years and I just cannot emotionally handle my failure to do well at what I love and what I have been so invested in for so long. It's killing me inside.

Consider that not everyone who does well in first year continues to do well, and some people who do poorly in first year do better in later years as things get more clinical and less esoteric. Testing poorly is not a reflection on how good a vet you'll be.

 

[twelvetigers]

I am someone that perpetually squeaks by when it comes to grades. By no means a scholar. It remains to be seen what that means for fourth year, but so far it seems like it will be fine.

It takes all sorts.

 

[that redhead]

Agreed with Coquette - my first year grades were pretty crappy. I started studying with friends (quizzing each other, etc) and it helped immensely - I'm actually a pretty good student now. The progressively clinical nature of the material really helps, too.

 

[Escalla]

Dredging this up again because there have been some developments and I hope anyone that read my initial post about feeling helpless through school to the point where life is getting in your way are able learn something from my experience.

Admittedly, I never really took mental health seriously. Awareness months have come and gone throughout my school career without much notice. I guess it really takes personal experience or the experience of watching someone close to you suffer through problems to sometimes really "get it."

Needless to say, I had been in denial for a while. I was dead set on the fact that I wasn't studying hard enough....I wasn't studying effectively enough....and yet this whole time it has been something else. Always there for the last couple years, but never truly making itself known until the point of near mental collapse after months of overwhelming stress. I waited too long to deal with it and my stubborn refusal to even consider something may be wrong only made things that much worse when it continued to deteriorate.

So I wanted to post this because I think there is still a fight for awareness. I grew up learning that pure determination can get you anywhere in life and while I still largely believe that, I also know that is not always the case. If anything my drive hindered me as the guilt of seeing no results and worsening conditions with ever increasing effort nearly convinced me that I didn't deserve to be where I am and there must have been a mistake.

It's amazing how much talking to someone helps and I urge anyone that starts feeling overwhelmed by school to do so. There's absolutely no shame in it and taking care of your mind should be as important as your physical well-being in vet school. It is after all, a mental marathon and you shouldn't wait until your leg is broken before you address your ability to run the race (like I did).

Anyway, I have taken a leave of absence and provided things go well this summer, I am able to return in the fall. I feel so relieved to have some time to be sorting my life out and will hopefully be a new person upon returning to school.

 

[that redhead]

Serious props to you for seeking help Escalla. We're all so programmed to think that anything that goes even mildly wrong is our fault and that just isn't always true. I hope the leave helps you get to a better place and rejuvenates you for the next leg e-hugs!

 

[equineconstant]

I'm so glad you've gotten help and are feeling better, Escalla.

 

[Escalla]

Honestly, I can't take credit for even thinking about medical leave as an option (instead of withdrawing voluntarily which was all I thought I had) and therefore getting my butt in to see a professional right away. @StartingoverVet is a great guy.

 

[DVMDream]

Glad you are feeling better Escalla and have found an option that works for you! Hope you can come back next year feeling great about starting back.