Long Distance Relationships Suck

[Kymmy16w]

I've been with my bf for a little more than 5 years now, 2 of which have been semi-long distance (100 miles apart). I'm applying to approx. 15 vet schools all over the country for fall '08 and am concerned about the distance.

The chances of me going to the one vet school that is within 500 miles of him is slim. How do you guys make it work? I'm assuming that anyone in vet school or med school won't have much time to be flying to see their SO all of the time.

He is at a point in his career where he needs to work hard and I would never ask him to leave for me.

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[xanthines]

Work is how we make it work. You have to make a very concious effort to call, email, travel, and (shudder!) use the post office. It's very very easy to get sucked into the world of school, especially if it's the type of school where you spend a lot of time together with your classmates. It's very tough and can get expensive, depending on how far away from each other you are but it can be done. I've been about 1000 miles away from my SO for over two years now and we're actually going pretty strong! I have a ton of frequent flyer miles, though. oh, and I'm racking up quite the student loan debt as well.... :cry:

Good luck!

-X

I've been with my bf for a little more than 5 years now, 2 of which have been semi-long distance (100 miles apart). I'm applying to approx. 15 vet schools all over the country for fall '08 and am concerned about the distance.

The chances of me going to the one vet school that is within 500 miles of him is slim. How do you guys make it work? I'm assuming that anyone in vet school or med school won't have much time to be flying to see their SO all of the time.

He is at a point in his career where he needs to work hard and I would never ask him to leave for me.

 

[soleluna]

I am in an LDR, because my boy, who is an engineer, moved to London to work since May. He'll be there until March/ April or maybe longer.
I am in 4th year now, and I assure you that even if it's difficult, you can find the time and energy to make it work if you think it's worth it.
We see each other about once a month, sometimes once every 2 and 1/2 months.
It's hard, but if you really care, I'm sure you'll make it!

 

[beannaithe]

i've been in an ldr with my boyfriend for just over a year now. i decided on a dental school about 300 miles away from him. and unfortunately, i didn't realize there were ZERO jobs here for him to get. so we're stuck doing the ldr thing until i graduate.

it takes a bit of work, but i think it's actually a good thing. when people are worrying about spending time with the significant others, i can study. i block out an entire weekend and i go visit him or he comes to see me. so i know when i have to get ALL of my work done by. then i have however long i have with him.

you just both need to be commited to it and know that you have to make a concious effort to call, visit, e-mail, etc. it's a pretty hard transition, but i think it's turning out ot be an ideal situation for getting me through school thus far.

just my 2 cents.

 

[ralf]

My advice is to move to where you need to go. If he doesn't move with you, call the relationship off. Stay friends if you can. If not let it go. If it's meant to be he'll follow you.
If he follows you, remember you're responsible for supporting him emotionally and however else if he can't find a job and has a hard time making friends. You can't get cranky if he's depressed. You can't kick him out if he doesn't pay his share of the rent. It is, for most practical purposes, as if you were married and you should treat your relationship that way. (Not that you can't break up with him if he turns into an a**hole, you just have to give him a chance, say nine months to get himself sorted out.) If you can pull together like a team and you have compatible visions for your lives (e.g. you both want houses in the country, he's domestic and you're a workaholic, you both want babies by the age of 33) and compatible values, marry him. Get on your knees and ask him and just go get a license and marry the guy.
If you can't handle the idea of taking on the responsiblity of loving someone whether they're jobless and friendless or not, you are better off breaking up with him now and moving on.
Good luck.

 

[deleted126335]

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[Therapist4Chnge]

Not to be pessimistic but most of my classmates who were in ldrs when med school or residency strarted, the relationsip did not survive med school or residency. Mine is one that did. Still together 22 years.

Good Luck

75%+ of the people I know who came in with LDR didn't last more than a semester or so, and another 10% probably broke up after that.

5 years is getting up there, I'd be wondering about the long term picture.....and I'm a guy!

-t

 

[ged0001]

I am in a long distance right now as well. My and my girl are about 500 miles apart, im in San Diego and she is back up in our hometown San Jose. It sucks a lot but we are trying to make it work. Its a lot of work to make it work lol. I miss her like hell and have been going throuhg some bouts of derpression with the whole change, but you just got to keep moving forward. It's rough but im sure you can do it as well. Just figure out if this is the one for you and if it is, you will make it work.