Military SOs

[Foxhunter]

Thanks guys. We're still very new and it's not anything serious, but it's going really well and he talks about future things a lot (i.e. this summer we should do this, one weekend we should do this, I have to go back to flight school these months). He's been stressing getting to know me really well and taking things slow, which I like, but he also asks super serious questions (do you want kids, what's your view on religion, how do you plan on raising your kids with respect to religion). It's still at that perma-nervous/super exciting phase (which I haven't felt in forever and it's amazing).

We met at a bar (classy right) and it was instant physical attraction, then as the night wore on we talked, and danced, and went to iHop at 3:30 AM, and there was the immediate more than just physical attraction.

It's weird too, it's the first time a guy/man has ever consistently referred to me as a woman on a regular basis. I guess cause he's older and GASP I'm actually kinda an adult.

I just kinda wanna be prepared for what I'll be getting into if this keeps progressing. I know I'm going to be super busy next year on top of everything else. I also know he's gunning for another deployment (you can tell he really loves what he does).

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[kenggy]

I'm gonna take the bad guy position on this one. It is hard, harder than hard. I just got into an argument with my hubby who is deployed because he doesn't want to discuss what we are going to do if we have to move for me to go to vet school. It can be very hard and the divorce rate is higher than civies. Now that I have said that, it is not impossible, I love my husband so much and I don't care what we have to go through we will always stick together. I am also an Army Brat and my parents have been together for 27 years, they have been through 3 deployments and my father being stationed internationally for 2 years while my mom stayed back. It is possible, it takes A LOT of dedication and strength. Hope I didn't scare you but I had to say that. Good luck!

 

[Foxhunter]

Haha. I'm already a little scared. The last guy I dated was military and super controlling/possessive and I couldn't handle it. It was also a bad idea for about 10000000 other reasons (long distance rebound from my high school sweetheart/7 year relationship- we'll chalk that up to being young and dumb).

I live within an hour of fort Bragg so I swear army guys are all I meet and my friend and I swore them off the morning after I met the man in question, so he was lucky to get in their just in time. I think he's scared too. He's made comments like well most girls don't want to date an army guy, etc.

 

[Kpowell14]

I agree with everything said so far! You can't plan ANYTHING with someone in the military. My fiancé is currently deployed and we have zero idea as to when he will be home.. Before he left we didn't have a set date for him to leave for months, and even then it was pushed back several times. Communication is limited to just FB chat. We haven't Skyped since October and I get a phone call maybe once a month if I'm lucky.

Before deployment I was normally the one traveling to see him because he couldn't take leave when ever he wanted. ( he is stationed 1500 miles away from our home town).

I will say that because of our LDR situation I have become a stronger person and I have become very independent. It has definitely made us realize the things that we want to get out of our life once we are finally back in the same town, where ever that may be.

Don't let the " Army Guy" stigma get in the way of dating him. Yea there are jerks, but I have met way more awesome army guys than I have the jerky ones lol

 

[kenggy]

I wouldn't let the future scare u out of the present, if its meant to be it will happen. And although there are plenty of DBags once these guys find the one they are totally dedicated. They are really lovers at heart.

 

[Kpowell14]

I wouldn't let the future scare u out of the present, if its meant to be it will happen. And although there are plenty of DBags once these guys find the one they are totally dedicated. They are really lovers at heart.

Totally agree!! They will do anything for the ones they love!

 

[Foxhunter]

I get the feeling he has a bad boy past, but has grown up a lot.

I've definitely felt like a giddy girl since we met.

Plus he invited my dog over the first time we hung out at his place and played with her non-stop, he knows how to woo a vet student that's for sure.

 

[Kpowell14]

Haha, he sounds like a winner! Go for it FH!!

 

[Foxhunter]

Apparently he also sends me pictures of what he cooked for dinner. Every. Single. Night.

 

[Kpowell14]

Bahaha lol a man that cooks is a keeper for sure!

 

[Foxhunter]

He also does dishes and makes my bed and pretends to find my job interesting. The last one is endearing, because quantitative analysis of the markers of canine myogenesis is not even that interesting to me.

 

[Kpowell14]

Haha he sounds like my guy, he's a cooker and a cleaner.. And he doesn't mind hearing about my job, but he's a medic in the army so we have medicine in common.

 

[EngrSC]

Ditto what everyone has said so far.

I'm a Navy wife and I wouldn't have it any other way. I think being a military spouse requires a strong and patient person because like everyone already mentioned, you literally cannot plan anything and you don't always know when your spouse will be leaving or coming home. Deployments are hard but I think good comes from them. We definitely appreciate each other and enjoy our time together so much more since he's not around all of the time. I don't care how great your marriage is, if you're with your spouse 24/7 there will be little arguments here and there and the time apart, at least in my marriage, keeps us from arguing about stupid things. When he's gone I fill my time with things I enjoy that I don't necessarily have time for when he's home. I'm very much the type of person that likes space every now and again and deployments, though hard, give me the breathing room I need.

I am super excited because my husband will be "shore duty" starting in September which essentially means he's not deploy-able for 3 years unless something super catastrophic happens. It's really really really nice to not have any deployments on the immediate horizon

 

[Foxhunter]

Ditto what everyone has said so far.

I'm a Navy wife and I wouldn't have it any other way. I think being a military spouse requires a strong and patient person because like everyone already mentioned, you literally cannot plan anything and you don't always know when your spouse will be leaving or coming home. Deployments are hard but I think good comes from them. We definitely appreciate each other and enjoy our time together so much more since he's not around all of the time. I don't care how great your marriage is, if you're with your spouse 24/7 there will be little arguments here and there and the time apart, at least in my marriage, keeps us from arguing about stupid things. When he's gone I fill my time with things I enjoy that I don't necessarily have time for when he's home. I'm very much the type of person that likes space every now and again and deployments, though hard, give me the breathing room I need.

I am super excited because my husband will be "shore duty" starting in September which essentially means he's not deploy-able for 3 years unless something super catastrophic happens. It's really really really nice to not have any deployments on the immediate horizon

Thanks everyone. I tend to over things. As much as I want to take it slow, it's hard not to think about the implications down the road (i.e. I'm in the same city for the next 6.5+ years, so I can't just move around following someone- good news is that city is an hour away from the biggest base in the country- I sound like a crazy person I know). Plus, from observations with friends a lot of military relationships seem to get really serious really fast (though the bias of coming from a small town in Texas where 18-21 are considered ideal ages for marriage undoubtedly has an effect on this).

 

[Kpowell14]

My future mother in law is a piece of work...

My fiancé posted a picture on FB of soldiers on a plane headed to Afghanistan.. Stating something like most surreal plane ride of my life.. And she had the nerve to comment saying she knows how that feels... [insert 5 letter word here] you have no idea what it feels like to fly over seas to a war zone!!

Ugh, I can't believe her sometimes.

 

[Foxhunter]

My future mother in law is a piece of work...

My fiancé posted a picture on FB of soldiers on a plane headed to Afghanistan.. Stating something like most surreal plane ride of my life.. And she had the nerve to comment saying she knows how that feels... [insert 5 letter word here] you have no idea what it feels like to fly over seas to a war zone!!

Ugh, I can't believe her sometimes.

She definitely said the wrong thing, but probably was just trying to articulate her fear/worry about him going there?

Black Hawk and I talked a lot of war, foreign policy, politics, deployment, and religion this weekend. We disagreed on some things, agreed on others, and talked each other to our sides on one or two topics. I completely facebook stalked him last night and it was weird to think that when I was a junior in college, partying, and worrying about passing tests, he was in Afghanistan flying on missions.

 

[Kpowell14]

She definitely said the wrong thing, but probably was just trying to articulate her fear/worry about him going there?

Black Hawk and I talked a lot of war, foreign policy, politics, deployment, and religion this weekend. We disagreed on some things, agreed on others, and talked each other to our sides on one or two topics. I completely facebook stalked him last night and it was weird to think that when I was a junior in college, partying, and worrying about passing tests, he was in Afghanistan flying on missions.

His mom was in the Air Force.. She had an over seas station, but she was never, ever been in a war zone.. ( probably should've said that initially, but I was too mad to articulate lol)

Sounds like y'all had a good convo!! Yaaaay!! (Love the nickname btw, great movie)

 

[Foxhunter]

His mom was in the Air Force.. She had an over seas station, but she was never, ever been in a war zone.. ( probably should've said that initially, but I was too mad to articulate lol)

I understand why you're annoyed, but maybe cut her a little slack. Mom's are weird about their baby boys.

Sounds like y'all had a good convo!! Yaaaay!! (Love the nickname btw, great movie)

So I might have never seen it. Should probably fix that. I don't know if I could watch it with him (plus based on other movies we've watched together, he'd probably pause it to explain to me every time they do something wrong in regards to helicopters). We had a really good night/day together. Held hands in public for the first time (aside from at a bar late night), he cooked me dinner and breakfast, opened the car door for me, and was just a real respectful gentleman. When I got home I thanked him for making me feel so special, he told me I didn't need to thank him for that cause he's just treating me the way I deserve to be treated. I'm falling a little too hard, haha.

 

[Kpowell14]

I understand why you're annoyed, but maybe cut her a little slack. Mom's are weird about their baby boys.



So I might have never seen it. Should probably fix that. I don't know if I could watch it with him (plus based on other movies we've watched together, he'd probably pause it to explain to me every time they do something wrong in regards to helicopters). We had a really good night/day together. Held hands in public for the first time (aside from at a bar late night), he cooked me dinner and breakfast, opened the car door for me, and was just a real respectful gentleman. When I got home I thanked him for making me feel so special, he told me I didn't need to thank him for that cause he's just treating me the way I deserve to be treated. I'm falling a little too hard, haha.

Oh boy, he sounds awesome!! so excited for youu!!!

 

[Foxhunter]

Oh boy, he sounds awesome!! so excited for youu!!!

I'm trying not to get too into him and we don't talk a lot when we're not in person. I still feel like he's not really into me, but all my friends are like "you're clearly crazy for feeling that way."

 

[Kpowell14]

I'm trying not to get too into him and we don't talk a lot when we're not in person. I still feel like he's not really into me, but all my friends are like "you're clearly crazy for feeling that way."

Just take it a day at a time and see where it goes

 

[DVMDream]

I don't have an SO, but I do have a sister in the Navy. I know, not the same, anyway that isn't the point of this post. I think we can all agree that the best thing is when our loved ones come home and how happy that makes us, however we are not the only ones that are happy: (I found this fitting since we are all vets/vet students/pre-vets/people who just love animals).

[YOUTUBE]iD3cgDRsDck[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Kpowell14]

DVMD- a sister is definitely a significant person . We love all military family members

I LOOOVE puppy / human coming home videos, an animals love is sooo special !!!! I will say my fiancé was very sad when he came home on leave last fall and his dogs weren't as excited as some of the videos he has seen.. He felt like they didn't miss him

 

[Armymutt25A]

Just to add my little bit here. I think a lot of "the Army experience" depends on your job and position. As an enlisted Infantryman, my life was much different than it was as a 2LT Signal Platoon Leader, which was very different than it was as a CPT Battalion Signal Officer. One of the major things I've done for my wife is to insulate her as much as possible. A lot of military wives do not have their own careers. Mine does, and I make it quite clear to my boss that she does. One of the biggest pains you will ever encounter is the Family Readiness Group. It has a purpose, but it gets turned into a crutch for very young wives who have no life skills. I refuse to get my wife involved in that - besides, it's probably better for the spouses that she does not. I'm a little less abrasive than she is when it comes to dealing with bs.

 

[Kpowell14]

Just to add my little bit here. I think a lot of "the Army experience" depends on your job and position. As an enlisted Infantryman, my life was much different than it was as a 2LT Signal Platoon Leader, which was very different than it was as a CPT Battalion Signal Officer. One of the major things I've done for my wife is to insulate her as much as possible. A lot of military wives do not have their own careers. Mine does, and I make it quite clear to my boss that she does. One of the biggest pains you will ever encounter is the Family Readiness Group. It has a purpose, but it gets turned into a crutch for very young wives who have no life skills. I refuse to get my wife involved in that - besides, it's probably better for the spouses that she does not. I'm a little less abrasive than she is when it comes to dealing with bs.

Soo true!

 

[kenggy]

I wanted to bump this to see if anyone on here is a military spouse in vet school or if anyone got in this cycle. I did and I think I'm pretty lucky with my husbands situation so not much pain involved, it can be done!!


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[ntorres]

I wanted to bump this to see if anyone on here is a military spouse in vet school or if anyone got in this cycle. I did and I think I'm pretty lucky with my husbands situation so not much pain involved, it can be done!!


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I'm a military spouse and we are currently living in Germany due to my husband being stationed here. This is his very first duty station and he already wants to get out but his contract is for 6 years, he is about to hit his 3 year duty mark in less than a week.
I have been accepted at Midwestern and wait listed at Virginia Tech and Illinois. Tonight I'll be putting my deposit down for Midwestern. Since before we were even married (been married 4 years now but together 7.5 years) he knew I would be attending vet school and now that has become a reality. He is due to PCS around the time I would have to be moving to AZ to start school (he will have to take some leave, though, so that we can hopefully leave at the same time). He is a dental assistant in the Army and though it's a fairly easy MOS (which he actually really enjoys to the point that he wants to be a dentist) with not as many demands as other MOSs, politics and idiots in charge have turned him off to the Army lifestyle. I don't blame him, I had a bad experience at the military veterinary treatment facility where I worked at as a civilian due to inept NCO's and NCOIC's and I recently quit. Unfortunately, my husband cannot just quit as he still has 3 more years in his contract. He wants to get out and use his GI Bill to do his undergraduate studies and then go on to dental school.
He has requested Ft. Huachuca as his next duty station so that we are at least living in the same state but of course we all know the Army (I imagine the military in general) sends you wherever it needs you or wants to send you. As long as he gets stationed in AZ it shouldn't be too bad, he can come visit me once every few weeks but if he gets stationed elsewhere (or maybe even overseas again) it will definitely be hard. Him going to basic and AIT was already hard for me. At least I'll be busy with vet school but my heart will ache for sure.

 

[kenggy]

Is the Army giving people the opportunity to be discharged early due to budget cuts? My husband is AF and they were going to discharge about 30% of their choosing but they had enough people volunteer to get out (tells you how well they are treated). How many years does your husband have in the service?

My father was in the Army and I know they don't really care about their members preferences, he went on three tours of duty to Iraq and when he got back the last time was stationed in Germany and my mom stayed behind in the states with my sister so she could finish high school. They were apart for the majority of 8 years. You can do it!

I'm able to stay with my husband, I'm at least 95% sure for the entirety of school but I know I won't have that much time for him and it's hard for me to get work done when he is around so a small part of me wishes he wasn't going to be around the whole time. I told him to go on a TDY while I'm in school sometime, he wants to go to Greenland for a year, and I'm like "yea!".

It will be so worth it in the end! Congratulations!


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[ntorres]

He has been in three years and has three more years left. They were offering an early out but it would cut his contract by 18 months so he would be getting out September of next year instead of till April of 2017. At least it's something but he wants to get out like now... I know me going to vet school has a lot to do with it, he wants to be by my side and I want him there too (though, I know I'll be busy and not have much time for him). It will be ok, difficult but doable, I'm sure. I have always believed that things happen for a reason and that things will work out in the end, it's just getting there that is hard most of the time.

 

[EngrSC]

There are so many benefits to staying in for 20 years if your husband can tolerate it. My husband has been in 7 years now, he recently reenlisted for another 6 and plans on doing 20. I would urge your husband to wait to make any concrete decisions until he's had some time at his 2nd duty station. My husband is Navy - which is quite different from Army - but there have been duty stations he's liked more than others for sure. He's currently shore duty and is stuck behind a desk and miserable but his first 6 years were sea duty and he got to go to some really amazing places and generally enjoyed his work (though not some of the BS). The military definitely isn't for everyone but I think it would be worth your husband's while to hold off on making a decision until he's at his second duty station.

A lot of my husband's friends have left the Navy and are having a heck of a time finding jobs. The economy sucks right now and the military is a guaranteed paycheck (as long as you don't do anything stupid). 20 years (in my opinion) is a small price to pay for lifetime healthcare, retirement pay, and the pride of being able to say you served your country for 20 years! People aren't really retiring at age 60 or 65 anymore so if he went in when he was say, 20, he could be out at 40 and basically be able to work any job he wants for the remainder of his life regardless of the pay. Working a minimum wage job that he enjoys wouldn't be too much of a financial crisis because of the retirement benefits.

My 2 cents

 

[EngrSC]

And I forgot to mention that things improve infinitely as you move up in rank!!

 

[ntorres]

He is considering joining the Air Force once he is a dentist but he's got a long time for that to happen. He has mentioned that people say that overseas duty stations are the worst and that some places in the states are better than others. He's about to turn 27 and so he doesn't want to wait any longer to start college. I can't exactly blame him for wanting to get out, I had the option of quitting my job (and I did) at a military veterinary clinic as a civilian but he doesn't have that option. We're supposed to be going to his next duty station in September so hopefully wherever they send him is better than this place and he won't be so anxious to get out. But if he was, again, I wouldn't blame him. The Army's here is all screwed up, I really do hope things are better elsewhere or in other military branches. I've even considered joining the Army myself once I am out of vet school as a veterinary corps officer but knowing how bad things can be is the main reason I don't think I would do it (and that would be me going in as a captain) as you don't know where you'll end up. I worked with veterinary corps officer and have received feedback about being in the Army from them and well, I don't exactly like what I hear.
The benefits are great, I completely agree, but I think that sometimes, depending on the situation, it's better to move on than stick it out especially if your emotional, psychological, and mental well-being are at stake. Other things will come along, maybe even bigger and better.

 

[kenggy]

Air Force is way better than the Army! From personal experience it's like night and day, the AF is very family oriented. For instance my husband is a year out from reenlisting and when he does he will get base of preference so we get to stay together while I'm in vet school. Also during your enlistment you can apply for jobs at other bases, so you have more of a say in your career and placement.

Thank goodness for my husband staying in and letting me use his GI Bill for school or I wouldn't be able to afford it.


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[EngrSC]

Air Force is way better than the Army! From personal experience it's like night and day, the AF is very family oriented. For instance my husband is a year out from reenlisting and when he does he will get base of preference so we get to stay together while I'm in vet school. Also during your enlistment you can apply for jobs at other bases, so you have more of a say in your career and placement.

Thank goodness for my husband staying in and letting me use his GI Bill for school or I wouldn't be able to afford it.


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I feel like the Navy is pretty similar. The last 2 times my husband has been up for orders we've been able to stay put without putting up a fight at all.

For the GI bill. My husband rolled his to me. I'm only using it if I get into vet school ... otherwise I don't think I could handle the debt

 

[Kpowell14]

I was thinking about this thread the other day!

Things have changed tremendously here for me and my husband.... He is still stationed in BFE New York ( Fort Drum) But like another poster, He has had such a change of heart and will be getting out of the military in less than a year. The Army has treated him like Crap since they got home from Afghan in July. It is really disheartening for me because every day when we talk he talks about how miserable he is and all the ways the army has screwed him over for the day. I really think that if he could PCS to a base here in Missouri and that we could see each other more often that he would be a happier. Im sure a change in leadership would probably help too since that is one of the main reasons he hates where he is.

Balancing Vet school and a LDR with a mil spouse was a big adjustment the first couple of months of vet school. He didnt quite understand the time commitment I had to my studies (the anatomy lab) and it took a couple 'come to jesus' meetings for him to realize that I wasnt 'ignoring him' while I was studying, I was just concentrating on my work. He is more understanding now when we dont get to talk much during the day which has helped me concentrate and not feel so darn guilty all the time.

 

[ntorres]

I was thinking about this thread the other day!

Things have changed tremendously here for me and my husband.... He is still stationed in BFE New York ( Fort Drum) But like another poster, He has had such a change of heart and will be getting out of the military in less than a year. The Army has treated him like Crap since they got home from Afghan in July. It is really disheartening for me because every day when we talk he talks about how miserable he is and all the ways the army has screwed him over for the day. I really think that if he could PCS to a base here in Missouri and that we could see each other more often that he would be a happier. Im sure a change in leadership would probably help too since that is one of the main reasons he hates where he is.

Balancing Vet school and a LDR with a mil spouse was a big adjustment the first couple of months of vet school. He didnt quite understand the time commitment I had to my studies (the anatomy lab) and it took a couple 'come to jesus' meetings for him to realize that I wasnt 'ignoring him' while I was studying, I was just concentrating on my work. He is more understanding now when we dont get to talk much during the day which has helped me concentrate and not feel so darn guilty all the time.

My husband's problem (as well as my problem while I worked at the military clinic with NCOs as my bosses) is the leadership. It boggles my mind that the Army does not promote based on how well you do your job and on merit but on "points" that come from un-related education, civilian and military, and correspondence courses and such. In both my (civilian) and his experience here, it's like all everyone (ok, maybe not everyone but a lot of people) cares about is ranking up, obviously a healthy dose of ambition is good but throwing others under the bus, lying, blaming others for your mistakes and not ever learning from them, does not make a good leader and that person should not be allowed to be promoted. Anyway, those are my two cents. I know it may not be like that everywhere and maybe it is just limited to the Army but having a military career puts you in the position of having to be stationed in places like that and well that is not for everyone.

 

[EngrSC]

The Army sounds awful, sorry guys There are quite a few dirt-bags in the Navy - lazy, not passing their physical fitness assessments, etc. but they suffer for it. They don't make rank as quickly as they should, they get the boot if they fail 3 PFAs, and they're generally not well-treated. I feel like the top performers in the Navy are recognized and rewarded (at least from what I hear from my husband).

 

[ADM1220]

AF wife here! I'm applying this year and crossing my fingers. Our plan was for hubby to reenlist and roll his GI Bill over to me, but now we are rethinking it. Are there any spouses on here that have actually used the transferred GI Bill for vet school?

EngrSC and I have talked about this, but I still can't find someone who has actually gotten the bill transferred and used it! I just want to know if the process is as easy as they make it out to be.

 

[kenggy]

AF wife here! I'm applying this year and crossing my fingers. Our plan was for hubby to reenlist and roll his GI Bill over to me, but now we are rethinking it. Are there any spouses on here that have actually used the transferred GI Bill for vet school?

EngrSC and I have talked about this, but I still can't find someone who has actually gotten the bill transferred and used it! I just want to know if the process is as easy as they make it out to be.

I have the same question b/c I won't be able to transfer his GI bill to me until my second year and although I have confirmed and triple confirmed after that I'm still nervous about it.

I have friends who have transferred benefits, not for vet school, and they said it was super easy. I called my schools I was applying to and just made sure that they accepted the GI bill specifically for the PVM program and asked if they had any experience with PVM students using that. They said yes like I was crazy for asking...sorry I just want to make sure that I'm not going to be stuck with $100000 worth of debt I want expecting, ya know?


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[ADM1220]

Finding someone who has actually used the transferred GI Bill for vet school is like finding a leprechaun riding a unicorn.