Money!!

[jazger]

Anyone else having problems due to the money issue? It seems like we fight a lot about it, and I'm only starting the application process! What are things going to be like when we are thousands of dollars in debt? Any help would be great!

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[C. LaRue]

eh, we fight about money all the time. Get used to it! Even when all your debts are paid off the fights will be: 'You want to buy a new car!?! Suzie needs braces and private school tuition! RRRRRRRRRRRR!!! You're so irresponsible!'

Two people with different views on money will always have disagreements. The key is to learn how to argue constructively and respectfully. And compromise, compromise, compromise.

 

[thackl]

When I made the $$ and paid the bills, we NEVER fought about money. Now......... it's been interesting

 

[tlew12778]

Ugh... money issues will always come up IMO. It's part of life.

It took us years to straighten out all our money issues. In the beginning he had problems with the concept of "our money" (we have individual accounts, then one joint checking). Then we really made an effort to "manage" the joint account together and it got a lot better. Now I have my money, he has his money, and we have our money. It works out nicely I think. We argue a lot less about it now. Actually I wouldn't even say we argue about it anymore, but we sure do complain about it a lot.

Incidentally, I have loads of student loans too and he has none. In fact, he can't even conceive of student loans bc he's European and they don't do the loan thing here. So I pay my loan back out of my own account. He doesn't even know how much I pay per month.

Eventually I am sure some things will change. Like, when we have children for instance. He wants me to stay home for a year so he's going to have to help out with my loan payments. Things like that. Once our kids get older, I am sure that more money will go into our joint account and less into our personal accounts.

In the end it'll all work out. You just need to get the hang of it and not expect it to come together easily in the beginning.

 

[nico05]

Anyone else having problems due to the money issue? It seems like we fight a lot about it, and I'm only starting the application process! What are things going to be like when we are thousands of dollars in debt? Any help would be great!

You have to stay on track and think long term. It is a long, long road. I am a post bacc and one of my issues is that I wont even be making money for at least five or six more years and even then, I will be in debt. It is a very unfortunate part of the equation, but well worth it in the end. It so difficult for anyone, not just in this situation but everyone, to put right now aside and think long term. The only thing that I can suggest is to sit down and create some type of interim plan...something that can work for, lets say, the next six months and build on that. It may just be a matter of reassurance that your significant other is looking for. Also, its a good idea to cut out all of that extra spending and focus solely on the things you really need. You may realize that you'll have a little extra money. If you look at where the money is going, be honest and log every penny, you may see a cutback you can make tomorrow! There is no definite solution, just remember that somewhere sacrifice must be made to gain something in the end. ITS WORTH IT. Best of luck.

 

[Wifty]

Money will always be the source of at least the occasional disagreement.

Hubby and I are over $100,000 in debt with 2 years left to go.
But, it was one of the things we talked about before he went back to school to be a doctor and I knew what I was getting in to.

Thats why it is important for the spouse to be part of the deciding process throughout. If the spouse is, then they are informed and shouldn't have reason to be upset IMO.

We have to be careful with money, but I am so happy that he is doing something that he loves, that it is worth it and I would do it all again - and we have never had a fight about it btw.

Communication and knowledge - the best backbone a relationship could have!

Good luck!
Wifty

 

[jazger]

I guess since I'm the one spending all the money, and he works, I feel guilty. So when I have to ask for another application fee, it sucks. Then he goes and skimps on things for himself. For example, he went grocery shopping and wouldn't buy himself anything to eat for breakfast. But he buys my breakfast. So I feel like poo. I'm spending all the money and getting fat off cheerios.

 

[Fermata]

I guess since I'm the one spending all the money, and he works, I feel guilty. So when I have to ask for another application fee, it sucks. Then he goes and skimps on things for himself. For example, he went grocery shopping and wouldn't buy himself anything to eat for breakfast. But he buys my breakfast. So I feel like poo. I'm spending all the money and getting fat off cheerios.

Trust me....he has an incentive.

Some day you're gonna be his sugar mama.

 

[DD214_DOC]

I guess since I'm the one spending all the money, and he works, I feel guilty. So when I have to ask for another application fee, it sucks. Then he goes and skimps on things for himself. For example, he went grocery shopping and wouldn't buy himself anything to eat for breakfast. But he buys my breakfast. So I feel like poo. I'm spending all the money and getting fat off cheerios.

If you're applying, then you're not in med school yet. Get a job.

 

[jazger]

If you're applying, then you're not in med school yet. Get a job.

I guess I should have clarified. I have a job during the school year, so I'm waiting until late August to start. I wish someone would have hired me for two months, but no luck. My job doesn't pay much anyway, so he's still the main contributor.

Trust me....he has an incentive.

Some day you're gonna be his sugar mama.

Oh Yeah!! He's making a wise "investment!"

 

[Fermata]

Oh Yeah!! He's making a wise "investment!"

Yep.