My bf broke up with me bc i decided not to apply this cycle
- Thread starter JMC117
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Who knows? It could be a blessing.
Possibly, he says that I'm giving up too easily and that's not a quality that he appreciates in a girlfriend
I got really sick in college and after being wrongly diagnosed several times I was finally diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. Because of this I went through a lot and it really affected my grades. So I feel like I should spend a year taking more classes to make up for all this. Am I wrong for thinking this way?
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Your destiny is not with the one that left you. Big hug
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Diagnosed with chrohn's this year (after a long time with terrible doctor and a bunch of inconclusive tests), lost 50 pounds, had numerous mineral deficiencies, often slept 14 hours a day... Anyway hardest year ever but still managed to have the best gpa yet because i knew i would have to work harder to get the grades... Maybe you are giving up too easily, if you really want something you will make it work, we all have hurdles that we have to overcome.
Applied this year... still waiting to hear (In Canada)
Your bf may just want someone with a lot of perseverence or someone who doesn't slip with when the going gets tough. Either way, I think he has a valid reason, I just hope he didnt break up with you during finals because that would be really tough.
Applied this year... still waiting to hear (In Canada)
Your bf may just want someone with a lot of perseverence or someone who doesn't slip with when the going gets tough. Either way, I think he has a valid reason, I just hope he didnt break up with you during finals because that would be really tough.
I really appreciate your honesty. I feel like you're one of the only people who could really understand my situation. I can't even imagine what it would be like to Crohn's disease. I worked really hard in school and to study for my DAT after I was diagnosed. The disease I have has symptoms that include memory loss, loss of concentration, mental slowness, and depression.
And I only mention those symptoms to show how difficult school had become. I went from making a 3.8 one semester to a 1.7 the next. I lost all confidence when it came to school. I don't want to be someone who gives up when the going gets rough but I'm working on it. It's a process.
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You need to re group physically, mentally and emotionally. So you are not wrong.
Maybe the bf feels you guys will drift apart w/ long distance relationship? Not everybody is comfortable w/ those.
Good luck and *hug*
Maybe the bf feels you guys will drift apart w/ long distance relationship? Not everybody is comfortable w/ those.
Good luck and *hug*
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I don't think anyone has to tell you that different diseases have different effects, and that the same disease can affect people differently. I also don't think anyone has to tell you that you can't generalize your personal experiences to everyone else. I think it's inappropriate to jump to conclusions about the OP's character when she has given very little information regarding her condition.
The boyfriend's comment doesn't even make sense to me anyways - he broke up her because she's delaying her application? It's not like she's giving up dentistry all together. If her grades suffered significantly during her illness, why not take an extra year of classes to prove she's getting better and can handle the schoolwork now? What's the point in wasting money applying if you don't think you're a competitive applicant?
OP, I think you've made a logical decision to take more classes. I hope you get better!
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If he couldn't wait a year, then he wasn't serious about the relationship to begin with. If he requires physical contact with you to make the relationship worthwhile, then you know where his head is at. When it rains, it pours, but at least you know now, at a time when you still have an opportunity to meet someone in school, vs later when you're "in the real world".
Thanks for the advice and wishes
I don't think the bf is worried about long distance so much. It's more like he's in medical school and wants me to be able to do the things he has done. But he hasn't had the same obstacles.
Exactly! I never said I was giving up. I just want to make sure that I'm the best applicant I can be when I apply. Thanks you for your understanding
Well it was pretty serious. About 3 years. But I think he's now realizing that a person with these "qualities" is important to him. Thanks for your advice
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Unfortunately, long term doesn't necessarily mean serious. Lots of relationships turn sour because people finally wake up after sleepwalking through a long term relationship. It sounds like that's what this guy did. A big problem with dating in high school or college is that no one's really thinking about the future. We often date because we think someone is fun, or we are physically attracted to the person, but we don't start off thinking "would I marry this person?" In this way, it can be easy to get stuck in a relationship of convenience, and when the convenience goes away, so does the relationship. Btw, just to be clear, I'm trying to analyze what this guy was thinking, not you.
Haha thanks for you indept analysis. I'm not sure what to think anymore but this thread made me feel a lot better. Plus I got a lot of pm asking me out
breaking up with you b/c you didn't apply to dschool one cycle?
there's always next cycle.
it sounds like there were other issues in the relationship too. or either the guy is just a total flakey jerk or something. who does that? think about the vows people take when they marry "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health but NOT if you don't apply to dschool RIGHT NOW when i want!" you know how ridiculous that sounds?
sounds like the guy could possibly be a control freak. and you don't want that. you can do better, girl!!!
there's always next cycle.
it sounds like there were other issues in the relationship too. or either the guy is just a total flakey jerk or something. who does that? think about the vows people take when they marry "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health but NOT if you don't apply to dschool RIGHT NOW when i want!" you know how ridiculous that sounds?
sounds like the guy could possibly be a control freak. and you don't want that. you can do better, girl!!!
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hun... you can Definitely do better. best of luck in your studies!!!! and don't get so down on yourself... you have to fight it!!! only You kno wat's best for you.
best of luck in your studies!!!! and don't get so down on yourself... you have to fight it!!! only You kno wat's best for you. 
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Sorry to hear that , it'll be better for your academically... less emotional distractions. Best of luck with everything!
, it'll be better for your academically... less emotional distractions. Best of luck with everything!
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He sounds like a tool. Don't date pre-health students, those kids are f***ed. Humanities majors ftw.
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where do you live? *giggity*
You'll be fine kido, keep your head up.
You'll be fine kido, keep your head up.
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Maybe he is just looking for an excuse then to break up with you... sometimes guys say stupid things to get out of relationships just because they are scared of being honest
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All I can say is that he should support you during this tough time, not leaving you. So don't be sad for that jerk. Also, I guess maybe the fact that you don't want to apply this cycle makes him worry that you will be his burden (can't get into D-school -> not making money soon) hmmm
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Being a male, and being realistic.. Maybe you not being completely healthy made him "scared". What if he didn't like you being sick.. Or worse, won't be with a sick person.. Maybe he thought it could effect your childbearing or your "healty years". I know this is the worst scenario, but ppl are selfish. Maybe he loved you but did not like how the disease effected you (depressed, lost weight?, independence?) and used dental school as an excuse.
Either way, you are better off without him. Good Luck!
Either way, you are better off without him. Good Luck!
It does sound ridiculous!! Thanks for your support!
hun... you can Definitely do better.
I'm trying to not get down on myself. Thanks for taking the time to write such nice things
He's definitely not status conscious. But you're right, he thinks that if I don't apply this cycle then I never will.
Sorry to hear that
I keep telling myself that it will be less distraction for me. Thanks
He sounds like a tool. Don't date pre-health students, those kids are f***ed. Humanities majors ftw.
yeah I don't think I'll be dating another med stuydent for awhile, too many issuesTo me, I don't think it's an excuse. I think he really feels strongly about being with someone who doesn't "give up" so easily. He was like "I went through so many hard time to get into med school and I want to be with someone who would do the same".
All I can say is that he should support you during this tough time, not leaving you. So don't be sad for that jerk. Also, I guess maybe the fact that you don't want to apply this cycle makes him worry that you will be his burden (can't get into D-school -> not making money soon) hmmm
Yeah I think he definitely wants to be with someone who "pulls her own weight" but I don't think it has to do with money.
It's nice to have a male perspective. But I guess I wasn't clear. I'm not sick anymore. I'm perfectly fine now, it's just that those grades still haunt me from a couple of years ago.
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I think there's more to this, than just him breaking up with you over your decision to not apply this year. I wasn't there when he broke up with you, but i think he may have left out the details that lead up to breaking up with you, or he did, and you left those details out on SDN. There must have been signs that lead up to this decision, and you not applying, was the tip of the iceberg. Reading these past statements. You have the ability to make a 3.8, then turn around and make a 1.7. So obviously you must have just given up that semester. Which was a turn off to him, and you said this happened a couple of years ago. There are plenty of people that apply each cycle, having done horrible freshman year, then A COUPLE YEARS later, have gotten back on track and apply and graduate in four years. So I can see why he feels that you may not be a fighter. Is he missing out, only time will, that's what sucks about life, we can't read the future. So he had to go by what he felt. We are all humans, and mistakes are made.
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I'm not quite sure what kind of male you are referring yourself to. But the 'males' that I happen to know probably used this as an opportunity to see other girls. Plain and simple. To the OP, if your bf breaks up with you over this ridiculous reason, it just means he has his thoughts on other women. It's not you! You are fine! He just wants others. He has the mindset of a player right now. He's young, college years almost over, think about it...
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TO ALL WOMEN:
If your boyfriend breaks up with you over something really stupid, it means he wants to keep his options open (meaning, see other people). A legitimate break up by any boyfriend is very rare. Please do NOT think low of yourself. You did NOTHING wrong.
From a Guy.
If your boyfriend breaks up with you over something really stupid, it means he wants to keep his options open (meaning, see other people). A legitimate break up by any boyfriend is very rare. Please do NOT think low of yourself. You did NOTHING wrong.
From a Guy.
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The boyfriend is either making a lame excuse or, if he actually believes that is the reason, he's a petty, illogical, and unempathetic person. Waiting a year to improve yourself is not giving up and I hope that is not the end result if this is her dream. Either way, she'll probably find somebody who doesn't attach such ridiculous (or imaginary) conditions to their affection for her in the future and I wish her luck in both areas.
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I would have to agree with this... you had a legit illness.
Good luck with the application process! It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. You'll find a much better guy in the future that will appreciate you and support your decisions.
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You're right. Sorry I posted when I was emotional. You guys can let this thread fall off. Thanks everyone so so so much!!! You have no idea how much you have helped me. Now back to posting about relevant dental school things
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Um, she was sick. I wouldn't equate suffering from an illness to purposefully not trying hard at school. From a previous post, it seems that the disease she had really affected her cognitive and memory functions, and cognition and memory is pretty much all that school is, so it's easy to see why her grades would go down. The boyfriend apparently went through some negative experiences as well, and apparently he doesn't like that she's taking time to collect herself. Again, everyone deals with negative events and emotions differently, and it's arrogant and ignorant of the boyfriend to assume the OP should handle her problems just like he did.
OP, did you say you got sick a couple years ago? Ever since you got better, has your GPA been good? If your GPA was low just during your illness, it probably won't affect your chances, especially since you have a valid reason.
Regardless, it's your life. If you want to take another year, it's your perogative. This guy can't dictate your life, so you're better off without some control freak med student who wants you to live on his terms.
Thanks for your understanding and for defending me. And yes, my GPA got a lot better the semesters following the time I was sick. I just felt like I took all my intro science classes while I was sick so my foundation wasn't that great. So when I got to the upper division classes I wasn't sick anymore but I couldn't make straight A's bc I was sometimes teaching myself the basics that I never learned before. But definitely, there was an upward trend. I also have several medical withdrawal on my transcript. I don't know how all this is going to playout during the application process but I'll see.
