My boyfriend doesn't understand how difficult pharmacy school is... How do I help him understand?

[Reirrac]

You being challenged at school is not a bad thing at all. It's actually an opportunity for improving yourself and being a better person after the experience.

Your boyfriend certainly isn't making things easy for you. Isn't relationships all about providing mutual benefit and support?? Drop all deadweights that hold you back, especially if it's your future livelihood and career in line.

People usually don't change, but they certainly try to convince you they will. Don't fall for that sweet talk.

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[mentos]

OP did you dump this loser yet? Don't leave us hanging.

 

[Humble Sloth]

One of our biggest problems has been that he's unwilling to drive to campus to see me/have dinner with me during a study break. I have to drop everything I'm doing to see him and hang out with him Help!

I have seen this play out in relationships often. Usually it is when the guy is using the girl for sex. That being said I thought this was a pharmacy board not relationship help board. Pharmacy school is not hard if you put the time in and jump through the hoops.

 

[CetiAlphaFive]

I have seen this play out in relationships often. Usually it is when the guy is using the girl for sex. That being said I thought this was a pharmacy board not relationship help board. Pharmacy school is not hard if you put the time in and jump through the hoops.

To be honest, this board is kind of a joke now.

It used to be good when I was a student, but it seems to have devolved into a dumping ground for sub par students and bitter pharmacists who are too scared to change.

With the exception of a few good posts here and there, of course.

 

[Jibby321]

wow, don't listen to all these people criticizing the way you study. perhaps they missed the part where you said you are pursuing a fellowship. perhaps they missed the thing about ADHD. perhaps they settled for C's and are now stuck in the retail grind hating their lives (perhaps all of the above).
bottom line: when your boyfriend asks you to prioritize him over your professional education, he is keeping you from becoming the best version of yourself. when you love someone, you want to see them succeed, even if it's a little inconvenient for you while they're making it happen.
I can't offer you a solution because I've been in your shoes many times and I always end up breaking off the relationship. I guess what keeps me going is the confidence that one day I WILL reach my goals, no matter how many guys would rather have me visiting and cooking for them instead. and if along the way I find a guy who actually encourages me in my pursuits and is proud of what I've accomplished, then, that's just icing on the cake I guess.


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False and false.

 

[zelman]

 

[CMUchicka]

Any guy in his right mind would not date a girl who's going to be +100k in debt other than for sex or you're dating a boy not a man.

Well this can be other way around too. Regardless people will still date because not many non-pharmacy major knows what's going on with the profession.

 

[rxoxhxaxbx]

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[lord999]

+1 about study habits. To each their own particularly when setting what is a personally acceptable standard of knowledge.

I'll give a devil's advocate perspective though I agree personally with yossarian87's answer. I'm married to an IP attorney who practices in the stereotypical big firm and is an equity partner. Her means are more than sufficient (6X my salary on bad years) that I don't have to work at all (we've even considered it detrimental for me to work in her great years) even though I'm more than financially secure personally. Because we're not in the DC area, she has to fly out to the USPTO to argue cases on a regular basis and in NJ/PA/CA to deal with some other matters. The work is intellectually difficult and it's time-consuming. Now, I married her knowing full well how demanding her career is. We have missed birthdays, anniversaries, planned date nights, you name it. I understand, that's the nature of her career, however, I'll gripe about it from time to time just because the situation still makes me unhappy even though I've accepted it. Just because I know that is the way it has to be doesn't mean it sits well with me. I know in the wide perspective, it's all good, but I still will complain and whine from time to time over missing an important day. I love her, and support her career dearly, but we are married, and I do have needs and wants for maintaining a happy marriage. It's selfish, I know, I think that's human. At the end of the day, I will always support her as her work is critical to her self-identity and love her for who she is, but don't expect me to not make snarky comments at her practice lead at the next firm BBQ about calling her in on our last three anniversaries!

It's really up to you to interpret the context of those comments from your partner. I agree there's some unspoken "I need you" in those exchanges. How you intend to communicate and negotiate your own needs and wants with his is your business, but choosing to deal with this as just a superficial problem, I'm not sure I would in your shoes. The reality is there though. Pharmacy school is a significant commitment for you right now, period. While your partner may not share that same experience, he should figure out (or be told) that the experience is your own, and how do we as a couple find a good way. I'm sorry to say though that in most cases, I see marriages break up in pharmacy school (the same goes for any professional school) all the time due to conflict of commitment.