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I AM LOOKING FORWARD FOR ANY INDIANS WHO ARE STUDYING PREMEDICINE.UNDERGRADUATE COURSE RIGHT NOW AND HAS A GOAL LIKE MINE TO DO FREE SERVICE TO THE POOR OF OUR COUNTRY; AFTER FINISHING THEIR COURSE...IF I MEET SOME ONE WHO IS THINKING EXACTLY LIKE THIS..I AM REALLY LUCKY...HOPEFULLY SOME ONE WHO READ THIS ...UTLEAST ONE PERSON....MIGHT HAVE THIS SAME GOAL!!!
IT WAS JULY 25TH 2012...I graduated from high school n america..I went to India to study medicine…As a teenager the only reason I took that decision was because I thought I can complete the course in 5 years…According to my matchurity level at that point;that was the only reason I had in my mind…I dint know the meaning of the word DEDICATION or GOAL when I first came to india…INDIA showed me the real world,how to face the society,problems and especially taught me the meaning of this big word DEDICATION …I started my college in the month on august;staying in hostel…Everything changed …it was like a new world….When i first went to college the first thing I remember RAGGING..i remember how seniors asked me and this other NRI himaja to say jonny jonnie yes papa rhyme…in our American accent,how I had to play badminton with an imaginary racket,writing my selfdetails,singing ecg rhytm without opening my mouth humming(when I had no idea what ecg was),trying to dance…time when seniors woke me up at 12.30am and batting started again…and later they said its just interaction between senior and junior..it wasn’t really bad…I guess I enjoyed ragging frankly..but it was really hard being a NRI to call senior students as SIR AND MAM..or even professors(when I was n US we go by mr/ms) it was just so odd to me esp. calling senior students as sir and mam..and most of the times I forget and they ask me where is my respect?i had no idea that I was supposed to apolozize them eighter until the senior told me…one strange feeling for some days in the beginning of college….There were 3 NRI girls in our batch..reshma,himaja and me.. for all of us it was like a new world…later on time passed by met new friends at that point I fealt like nothing matters except friends,later on friends started ignoring me,later on every one hang out in groups as they got closer,I had no clue which group I was in…but I tried to talk to every one just like life in america…but later I realized people in india divide in groups and basically talk to u if ur in their group kinda thing….i was just so confused…about some of them ignoring me…I remember those days when ravindra anna took me and sujitha near reading room and how our ragging went by…when he asked me my hobbies,my smart answer garderning,hoping if I say singing or dancing he might tell me to do so…but unfortunately he told me go pull grass outside…m glad he was joking…tears ran through my eyes…don’t know why but I was really scared.ofcouse it’s a new life,everything is so different…later on roommates,how all 3 roommates were together talking and I fealt like I was all alone faced many problms with roommates in hostel whre I almost changed 3 rooms and finally got sneha akka…a senior…I was really lucky to get her and was so happy …she happened to be my family frnd..until october adjusting with people facing problms with roommates,homesick feeling,everything got set by November…UNFORTUNATLY exams,my scores were really low…compared to others..i didn’t know why it was so hard…living my life with multiple choice in America nd all in sudden writing pages and memorizing it was just one of the hardest thing for me…but slowly I got used to it…Sneha akka helped me for internal exams but every time I went to exam it was that question on the paper I decided to skip while studying…nd my badluck that same questions appears on the question paper…when I look at the girl in front of me she keeps writing,the guy behind me he is so into it that he keeps writing even after time is up..they writing so fast that they are sacred if they ll run out of time…and I was in a situation whre I had an hour left..waiting for the bell to ring….staring at the question paper…my internal exams went the worst…of the whole class….i ve wondered why people tell they don’t study but they actually study 24hours ,ace the exam and get top scores…..i remember my EVERY SUNDAY MORNING BENCH!! TIMES when i sat there alone no matter what every sunday morning...WITH MY COFFEE...LISTENING TO MUSIC...I used to sit there utleast HALF N HOUR nd take some time thinking about MYSELF...but i didn't realise at that point how much time i was wasting?? There were days when i was sitting there alone & i fealt so HOMESICK..when most of the hostlers PARENTS CAME to visit their children..they used to park their cars in front of that bench...on that road!!! I almost felt like crying looking up at sky thinking my parents cant come...NO one comes to VISIT ME...but i didn't let the TEAR DROP FALL......because i knew none of this will matter after 3 more years.
mean while I have seen the real india..i travelled alone during weekends just out of college …to have some peace from this stress and people,I saw life of poor people in india,how they struggle day and night begging on streets…I had this question for the first time when is poverty in india going to end? When I was on my shopping one weekend…I noticed this old man on road……I saw the DIFFRENCE...between RiCH nd POOR in CURRENT INDIA..That old man walking on the road begging but the car opposite to him just passes by thtz the diffrence!!
This man starts his day begging for every ruppe ,on his way those ppl passing n just like that car passing ahed ppl who are rich dont even open their windows when a begger is close by..NO ONE IS WILLING TO GET a SINGLE RUPPE OUT of their pockets in india today...now a days ppl stared to abuse them saying words out ..If you dont want to donate then don't but who are u to abuse them?SOCIETY IS CHANGING..as generations are passing……I have seen many situations like this in india that CHANGED ME INTO A NEW PERSON AND PROVOKED ME TO TAKE THIS DECISION….WHEN I WAS COMING FROM AMERICA TO STUDY MEDICINE I WAS NOT THAT MATURE OR DEDICATED TO BE A DOCTOR FOR A REASON…..BUT after seeing the REAL INDIA I WAS REALLY DETERMINED AND I HAD A FEELING THAT I WANT TO BE THE CHANGE I WISH TO SEE IN INDIA…I WANTED TO DO SERVICE BEING A DOCTOR AND HELP THE POOR OF THIS COUTRY BY DOING FREE TREATMENT AS MY SERVICE BEING A DOCTOR…..i didn’t know the meaning of goals or anything when I first came to india to study…my intension was just that I could complete the course in 5 years …that was the only reason I decided to come to india….but THEESE SITUATIONS I VE SEEN CHANGED ME INTO A NEW PERSON WITH A GOAL…I DECIDED TO STUDY HARD THAN BEFORE.......I recall a DAY AT CHURCH..on UGADI..LAST YEAR .. me and my friend bindu went to church for the 1St TIME on the eve of UGADI...it was a just one of those special feelingz sitting there..EVEN THOUGH we are not christians..... WHEN we BOTH went near jesus to pray UNFORTUNATLY i didn't know how to pray ....so i put my hands together and prayed like i do in TEMPLE...MY FRIEND was like what are you doing??? I said praying..& she laughed;at way i was praying!!! and showed me how to..SO I sat on the bench and closed my eyes as she told me for 5minutes talking to JESUS... It was one of the most quiet and peaceful TIME I HAD... I fealt like doesnt matter if you are under any religion...GOD IS THE SAME..HE iS NO WHERE but IN OUR HEART...
After 2nd internal I thought that I need to go for tuitions and get help with subject first….i decided to put everything aside ,stopped worrying about friends,and adjusting and everything I put aside….all I care about is my goal..to reach my goal I need to pass that was all in my mind…IT WAS MARCH 2013….I SAW MYSELF AS A DIFFERENT PERSON…I NOTICED THAT CHANGE…I CAN FEEL IT…IT WASN’T the old anisha 6 months back..how I was in US...enjoying,friends,partys,not that matured about thoughts…..6 MONTHS IN INDIA CHANGED ME…GAVE ME A GOAL…IT WAS IN MY HEART..that i have to do it...One day while travelling on a weekend, That was the 1St nd LAST TIME i was travelled n an RTC BUS....sitting beside a lady with her FISHES BASKET whoz lifestyle is earning money by selling those fishes....THE BUS was crossing that bridge but stopped exactly on tht BRIDGE that evening because of train crossing gate ahed!! Sitting beside tht lady On that day i fealt like life is not the same for everyone...their struggle for money.. Just made me feel emotional seeing REALISTIC LiFE....of people n that bus...with common people.IT WAS JUST a DIFFRENT FEELING that I NEVER HAD IN MY LIFE!!!so i started my tutions,during march,i decided my preparation for 3rd internal should be differnt and i worked really hard...i recall those early mornings at 5am,when i went to anatomy tutions,when the roads of vja were empty and pleasant mornings with MORNING SUNRISE!!! ISnt it Such a beautiful thing to start your day with?...it was def.for me...There will be many ppl n our lives like those passing clouds ...which are tying to cover the rasing sun..But never forget we are like that bright sunshine that makes a diffrence in this world..Those passing clouds should never change our beautiful lifez... Those days when me and my friend charita came for ANATOMY TUTION...They were the MOST beautiful days whre we sat on terrace every morning,feeling may be we were the 1st one in the world to see this beautiful sunshine today...BEST MEMORIES!!...I REMBER those days when i knocked the gate every morning waking watchman up and waiting for him to unlock the gate!!!...ME and my friend saw mornings when mother nature was quiet nd pleasant and other days when those ferocious winds blew our papers around the terrace......pigeons walking around the terrace walls every morning &crows waiting for their food parimala mam gets every morning...i remember those days when the sky looked like its about to rain dragonflies wandering in air around our terrace...The best part is when mams younger son kartick comes and gives us entertainment n middle of our tuition...His words made us laugh almost every morning..and i can never forget those days when i didn't study what i was supposed to and came to tution...and when mam asks if i studied ;those,were the most confusing days when i couldn't decide whether to LIE OR TELL THE TRUTH....When i think of TIMES when i cried and DAYS WHEN mam gave me lecture about LIFE made me feel like there will probably be no teacher; who,cares about their students wellbeing as much as mam.....i recall those days when me and charita talking about people n our college and thinking about us passing finals...
It was time for 3rd internal...but this time i was shocked..I KNOW EVERYTHING ON THE PAPER...I JUST COULDNT BELIEVE THAT I RAN OUT OF TIME...IT WASNT LIKE EVERY OTHER TIME,LIKE PREVIOUS INTERNALS WHERE I HAD AN HOUR LEFT WAITING FOR THE BELL TO RING...BUT IT FEALT REALLY GOOD INSIDE HEART....THAT I WAS REALLY HAPPY FOR MY HARDWORK..it was time for results...i was shocked once again...my scores went up from range on 3-4 to all in sudden 17-20..qualified...i had that confidence i could do it in finals...eventhough i wased 6 months o time 1 month of my effort for tutions and learing the subject changed my scores drastically...i thought 2 more months of my preparation holidays if i focous and work day and night studying..i ll def.pass....I HAD THAT CONFIDENCE AFTER SEEING MY SCORES...WHICH I DREAMT OF AND THOUGHT IT WAS IMPOSIBLE 3 MONTHS BACK.....I FEALT THIS WAS ONE OF BEST MEMORY OF MY LIFE AMMA old age home...my fav place in this world.. I remember that 1st day i met them..one day while passing though my clge i noticed this place...when ever i feel depressed or stressed out i used to go out of clge...there alone to spend some time with them.. When ever i go there i just forget myself...its feels like a new world...somewhere i find my true happiness...Thre are diffrent casts old age people here...with diffrent problms,where none of their family members come to visit them....but all of them live like a family..no matter how much pain they hav in their heart ...hoping for their families to visit them before they die...BUT years passed on &this old age home created a family for them...sometimes they laugh at eachother making jokes,watch TV,gardening,times they fight,&after an hour end up forgetting wht happend,evening walk..every thing just makes their day...n the begging when i went thre to spend some time they shared their problems with me their families how they found this old age home in what situations...tears i tried to control that day...i could never forget...one saturday evening when i went thre i recall a new lady who was 26 yrs came thre with her 4 year old daughter..i asked them who is she none of them replied they said we dont knw....i went to that lady sat beside her and asked her what happend?she started crying holding my hand...i said listen i ll help u tell me what happend...she says he left me my husband...me and my daughter were on road last night...so i went to temple last night nd slept ther...a random man tried to rape me last night i ran frm temple nd on my way i found this place for shelter...she was holding my hand nd she asked me can u show me some job pls....i said yes i will...nextnext day i went to clge trying to talk to maneger n my canteen..but no use i asked n clge for any cleaning works or rpf works...i couldnt make it....later i went back to tell her dont worry give me 2 days time ll find somejob...nd we ll join ur daughter in free daycare school ...BUT by the time i went ther she is gone...dont knw whre she went or wht happened...i asked every one thre but they said she left ....i fealt really depressed....tht night..One more situation whre one lady was really happy that their family is coming back to take her home...how every one were happy that one of them is leaving..&i rember how they gave her send off happily.. This year times i spent in this place with them calling evryone grandma nd grandpa ...they treated me like their daughter....when ever i came to visit their hapiness in their faces tears in their eyes,how happy they feel when i hold their hands tight....saying m here nd ill be for you forever....everything all these momemnts and memories never leave my heart.....This photo was shot when i visited them to tell them m leaving to america...i rember how they asked your not going to come back...how they said dont leave and i said i m not leaving ll call you evrry week...i ll be thre for you ...till the end...&i introduced my frnd to them saying this is me from today......she ll visit u every month just like how i used to...but they miss me nd i ll miss them...so much One word they said are we going to be alive by the time u come back?i said yes all of you will stay here n this amma old age home...& i ll def.come back for all of you...my hopes and dreams will never die....BELIEF very important part n my life which i ll never leave behind!! ...many more memories n this place i could never forget n my lifetime!!
MY ROOM MATE SNEHA AKKA..SHE MADE MY LIFE AT COLLEGE...NO MATTER HOW MANY FRIENDS I WENT AROUND AND HOW MANY FIGHTS I HAD WITH THEM SHE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME..I rember the first day you ragged me when i looked at you like i dont care if your a senior...nd i ended up crying....i recall later whn SHE said i am the 1st person you ragged n this clge.....later after facing many isues with my roommates .....i got in her room moved in this room ..that morning n october when i walked in this room with saibabas photoframe n my hand hoping i shouldnt face those problems with my new room mate.....again !!! after shifting 2 rooms this is my 3rd room..during this i recall how i faced many rumors oh she does t stay in anyones room more than a month...how ppl laughed about me....
TIME passed on ..But in the beggining i didnt knw she is a senior i fealt like how to adjust with her....she looks so strict all her rules...i rember times when you said braid your hair,style a...× when she said i ll tell aunty(my mom) that m not studying seriously,when i said i don't wash my clothes..nd her expression that day like what??? U serious Its not US its india...nd how she made me get used to dumping em every day in wash basket for dobhi aunty..That day when both of us sneaked out of auditoriums side door to escape from that lecture n gallery in rain.....i recall those days when we went to librearys on sunday mornings..TImes when i was in serious issues with a person and i lied to you about it even after a promise and got myself stuck up with that issue..wasting so much time i couldnt realize at that point...time passed and friends who used to talk to me ,everyone just changed i fealt like they are not giving me importance AS THEY USED TO IN THE BEGGINING....m just feeling too much about them thinking they are true friends,How i went to buy them giftz...times you helped me pack gift that night when i dint knw how to wrap a gift cover,i recall how i used to get phone balence from tuckshop every evening to call them just for timepass....times when i walked beside hostel nd nursing hostel talking to them...but didnt realize how hard they are studying going to tutions while talking to me....TIMES when i got scared of lizards and yelled at security and how i ran all around the room freeking out...i recall how we ate pulkas chandu anna got some nights....biriyani timez parcels how i was lazy to wash my plate spoons and cups after using em...nd how i waited for all the flies nd ants to get n my milk cup from days before..hahaa.....times when she got mad after looking at that mess...saying ahh most NRIS. are way better than you...nd even when she got mad times when i laughed...i still remeber when she closed the curtain...nd dint open.....when we aurgued. she said what to do m trying to be serious but if i look at your face m going to laugh...thats why....TIMES we laughed...i recall that day when i got ready for that fashion show but m not a participant....i rember those days i talked with chandu anna about those race nd caste issues....TIMES when you set the alaram up to wake. Me up to study but i never woke up saying akka pls ll wake up n morning...Times when i went for a morning walk nd did yoga n that ground alone on the (stage area)....TIMes when i cried saying why are these ppl n india so artificial...i remberr that night...
Times when i went up and down to give books when i was in middle of watching badshah movie...days when she had my bank book &i had to get it from you every time and times mom called her saying dont let me go out alone....i recall those days when i skipped labs and lied to her....&suprisingly she figured out....times when i got parcels from canteen insted of eating lunch n mess....times when i got less scorings n internals...times i was depressed....when HOD yelled at me in front of everyone in class...nd i recall tht afternoon how she knew all that with out asking me what happend...TImes i said enti e akka ki annai telisipotayi.......Days she went home nd times i missed her alot staying lonely....nd those days whn her grandma holded my hands saying iddaru kalisi akka chelela undadndi....near the car n front of hostel that night.....in may when i left hostl times i texted her saying m studying nd how i loved physiology after learning subject...how i said i was going to tutions...nd i still recall how i sat on that bed mrnings during 3rd internal ...comming from home to write internals...i can never forget how she wished me all the best for every single exam...last day of final exam how happily i left the room for vacation.and now after results how i vacted the hostel room november 6th on gratitude party when all my class people are celebrating that day...day i tried to control my tears when they are parting.....but all i knw is i have changed myself...day 1 when i moved in your room nd last day when m vacating the room...I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON...how silly i was when i look back now....but i ll def come for her one day n my life to show that i did it....I like those old days how i was with her silly fights jokes many memories dont knw whre to put a end to them........its all different now...TIME &situations just changed me...but my last words she is always n my heart
IT WAS TIME FOR FINALS..AFTER MY PREPARATION...FOR 2 MONTHS WHERE I MOVED OUT OF HOSTEL STAYED WITH MY DAD ;HE CAME FOR MY EXAM PREP.HOLIDAYS FROM U.S...i studied day and night..tutions for anatomy at 5.00 am and mid afternoon hot summers i recall how i went for biochemistry tution...almost 2 times every afternoon...it was really the hottest summers frankly,and night for physiology tution...and all the time i had left to study was during night until 2.00 pm and had sleep of 3 to 4 hours....barely..
.FINALLY IT WAS FINALS TIME..THE EXAM DAY HAS COME...AND I KNEW EVERYTHING ON PAPER..IT WASNT THAT HARD AS I EXPECTED...BUT ANATOMY M SURE I DIDNT DO GOOD ON PAPER 1 IT WAS TOUGH FOR EVERYONE SO ITS EVEN TOUGHER FOR ME...other subjects biochem and physio i did the best..i knew i ll defianlty pass...I WAS REALLY CONFIDENT...I LL PASS...i still went to anatomy tution after finals...because i had a doubt i might have to go thr reexam for anatomy...waking up at 5.00 again...from 4 months i just got used to it...sleepless nights...i fealt the pain during those days..in my heart i had this feeling if i would ve studied from begging on college i wouldnt have had to gone through all this stress now....but evry thing happend for a reason...i believe....LATER RESULTS CAME OUT...IT WAS SEPTEMBER 9TH 2013...THAT NIGHT I WAS REALLY DEPRESSED..I FAILED ALL 3 ..MISSED BIOCHEM WITH 1 POINT..JUST 1 POINT..IT REALLY HURTS..AND OTHER SUBJECTS TOO REALLY CLOSE...I CRIED FOR 5 HOURS FOR 1ST TIME N MY LIFE....I TOOK A DECISION N THAT MOMEMT..WHICH WAS REALLY FOOLISH TO DO SO...BUT IN THAT DEPRESSION I WASNT IN A SITUATION TO THINK IS IT RIGHT WHAT M DOING OR WRONG...IT ALL HAPPEND UNEXPEXTEDLY...later my mom was really depressed for what happend and she was like ITS YOUR LIFE TAKE THE RIGHT DECISION NOW...YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO GO TO INDIA TO STUDY EVEN THOUGH WE SAID NO A YEAR AGO..WE GAVE U A CHOICE...AND AGAIN M SAYING THE SAME THING..ITS YOUR LIFE AGAIN..TAKE THE RIGHT DECESION...WHAT DO U WANT TO DO?i sat for a week in a room thinking alone...whole week....I TOLD HER MOM I WANT ONE MORE CHANCE ...I WANT TO STUDY COLLEGE AGAIN SAME SUBJECTS..I WANT ALL THE TIME THAT I WASTED....I WANT TO CHANGE MY PAST....BUT I KNEW ITS NOT POSSIBLE .....I HAD THIS FEELING DO I HAVE TO LEAVE MY GOAL?AM I A FAILURE?...MANY THOUGHTS N MY HEAD SO MUCH CONFUSION....BUT FINALLY .....I THOUGHT IT IS POSIBLE TO FIX MY MISTAKE CHANGE MY PAST..STUDY COLLEGE AGAIN.....I DECIDED TO COME BACK TO AMERICA..THATS THE ONLY WAY IF I WANT TO STUDY THEESE SAME SUBJECTS AGAIN....TAKING A SECOND CHANCE IN LIFE.... AND MY MIND WASNT SET YET FROM THAT DEPRESSION... i wasnt ready for reexam ANYWAYS .....i decided i ll come back to INDIA AFTER MY MEDICINE DEGREE FOR MY GOAL.....I M SURE ONE DAY IN MY LIFE WHEN I READ THIS PAGE BACK..I WILL DEFINATLY FEEL YESS I TOOK THE RIGHT DECISION THAT DAY.....HOPEFULLY IN 10 MORE YEARS I LL REACH MY GOAL AND COME BACK TO INDIA FOR MY SERVICE TO INDIA....AND MY OLD AGE HOME...WITH BLESSINGS OF SAIBABA..AN NRI UDJUSTING IN INDIA IS A TOUGH THING TO DO...AS I BELIEVE SO...AFTER COMMING BACK TO AMERICA,I STARTED MY BIOLOGY MAJOR,WORKING TOWARDS FINISHING MY 1ST SEM RIGHT NOW...AIMING FOR MCAT..HOPEFULLY IN NEXT 6 YEARS I LL BE A SUCCESSFUL DOCTOR..
I AM LOOKING FORWARD FOR ANY INDIANS WHO ARE STUDYING PREMED.UNDERGRADUATE COURSE RIGHT NOW AND HAS A GOAL LIKE MINE TO DO FREE SERVICE IN INDIA TO THE POOR AFTER FINISHING THEIR COURSE...IF I MEET SOME ONE WHO IS THINKING EXACTLY LIKE THIS..I AM REALLY LUCKY...HOPEFULLY SOME ONE WHO READ THIS ONE PERSON....WILL REPLY..
IT WAS JULY 25TH 2012...I graduated from high school n america..I went to India to study medicine…As a teenager the only reason I took that decision was because I thought I can complete the course in 5 years…According to my matchurity level at that point;that was the only reason I had in my mind…I dint know the meaning of the word DEDICATION or GOAL when I first came to india…INDIA showed me the real world,how to face the society,problems and especially taught me the meaning of this big word DEDICATION …I started my college in the month on august;staying in hostel…Everything changed …it was like a new world….When i first went to college the first thing I remember RAGGING..i remember how seniors asked me and this other NRI himaja to say jonny jonnie yes papa rhyme…in our American accent,how I had to play badminton with an imaginary racket,writing my selfdetails,singing ecg rhytm without opening my mouth humming(when I had no idea what ecg was),trying to dance…time when seniors woke me up at 12.30am and batting started again…and later they said its just interaction between senior and junior..it wasn’t really bad…I guess I enjoyed ragging frankly..but it was really hard being a NRI to call senior students as SIR AND MAM..or even professors(when I was n US we go by mr/ms) it was just so odd to me esp. calling senior students as sir and mam..and most of the times I forget and they ask me where is my respect?i had no idea that I was supposed to apolozize them eighter until the senior told me…one strange feeling for some days in the beginning of college….There were 3 NRI girls in our batch..reshma,himaja and me.. for all of us it was like a new world…later on time passed by met new friends at that point I fealt like nothing matters except friends,later on friends started ignoring me,later on every one hang out in groups as they got closer,I had no clue which group I was in…but I tried to talk to every one just like life in america…but later I realized people in india divide in groups and basically talk to u if ur in their group kinda thing….i was just so confused…about some of them ignoring me…I remember those days when ravindra anna took me and sujitha near reading room and how our ragging went by…when he asked me my hobbies,my smart answer garderning,hoping if I say singing or dancing he might tell me to do so…but unfortunately he told me go pull grass outside…m glad he was joking…tears ran through my eyes…don’t know why but I was really scared.ofcouse it’s a new life,everything is so different…later on roommates,how all 3 roommates were together talking and I fealt like I was all alone faced many problms with roommates in hostel whre I almost changed 3 rooms and finally got sneha akka…a senior…I was really lucky to get her and was so happy …she happened to be my family frnd..until october adjusting with people facing problms with roommates,homesick feeling,everything got set by November…UNFORTUNATLY exams,my scores were really low…compared to others..i didn’t know why it was so hard…living my life with multiple choice in America nd all in sudden writing pages and memorizing it was just one of the hardest thing for me…but slowly I got used to it…Sneha akka helped me for internal exams but every time I went to exam it was that question on the paper I decided to skip while studying…nd my badluck that same questions appears on the question paper…when I look at the girl in front of me she keeps writing,the guy behind me he is so into it that he keeps writing even after time is up..they writing so fast that they are sacred if they ll run out of time…and I was in a situation whre I had an hour left..waiting for the bell to ring….staring at the question paper…my internal exams went the worst…of the whole class….i ve wondered why people tell they don’t study but they actually study 24hours ,ace the exam and get top scores…..i remember my EVERY SUNDAY MORNING BENCH!! TIMES when i sat there alone no matter what every sunday morning...WITH MY COFFEE...LISTENING TO MUSIC...I used to sit there utleast HALF N HOUR nd take some time thinking about MYSELF...but i didn't realise at that point how much time i was wasting?? There were days when i was sitting there alone & i fealt so HOMESICK..when most of the hostlers PARENTS CAME to visit their children..they used to park their cars in front of that bench...on that road!!! I almost felt like crying looking up at sky thinking my parents cant come...NO one comes to VISIT ME...but i didn't let the TEAR DROP FALL......because i knew none of this will matter after 3 more years.
mean while I have seen the real india..i travelled alone during weekends just out of college …to have some peace from this stress and people,I saw life of poor people in india,how they struggle day and night begging on streets…I had this question for the first time when is poverty in india going to end? When I was on my shopping one weekend…I noticed this old man on road……I saw the DIFFRENCE...between RiCH nd POOR in CURRENT INDIA..That old man walking on the road begging but the car opposite to him just passes by thtz the diffrence!!
This man starts his day begging for every ruppe ,on his way those ppl passing n just like that car passing ahed ppl who are rich dont even open their windows when a begger is close by..NO ONE IS WILLING TO GET a SINGLE RUPPE OUT of their pockets in india today...now a days ppl stared to abuse them saying words out ..If you dont want to donate then don't but who are u to abuse them?SOCIETY IS CHANGING..as generations are passing……I have seen many situations like this in india that CHANGED ME INTO A NEW PERSON AND PROVOKED ME TO TAKE THIS DECISION….WHEN I WAS COMING FROM AMERICA TO STUDY MEDICINE I WAS NOT THAT MATURE OR DEDICATED TO BE A DOCTOR FOR A REASON…..BUT after seeing the REAL INDIA I WAS REALLY DETERMINED AND I HAD A FEELING THAT I WANT TO BE THE CHANGE I WISH TO SEE IN INDIA…I WANTED TO DO SERVICE BEING A DOCTOR AND HELP THE POOR OF THIS COUTRY BY DOING FREE TREATMENT AS MY SERVICE BEING A DOCTOR…..i didn’t know the meaning of goals or anything when I first came to india to study…my intension was just that I could complete the course in 5 years …that was the only reason I decided to come to india….but THEESE SITUATIONS I VE SEEN CHANGED ME INTO A NEW PERSON WITH A GOAL…I DECIDED TO STUDY HARD THAN BEFORE.......I recall a DAY AT CHURCH..on UGADI..LAST YEAR .. me and my friend bindu went to church for the 1St TIME on the eve of UGADI...it was a just one of those special feelingz sitting there..EVEN THOUGH we are not christians..... WHEN we BOTH went near jesus to pray UNFORTUNATLY i didn't know how to pray ....so i put my hands together and prayed like i do in TEMPLE...MY FRIEND was like what are you doing??? I said praying..& she laughed;at way i was praying!!! and showed me how to..SO I sat on the bench and closed my eyes as she told me for 5minutes talking to JESUS... It was one of the most quiet and peaceful TIME I HAD... I fealt like doesnt matter if you are under any religion...GOD IS THE SAME..HE iS NO WHERE but IN OUR HEART...
After 2nd internal I thought that I need to go for tuitions and get help with subject first….i decided to put everything aside ,stopped worrying about friends,and adjusting and everything I put aside….all I care about is my goal..to reach my goal I need to pass that was all in my mind…IT WAS MARCH 2013….I SAW MYSELF AS A DIFFERENT PERSON…I NOTICED THAT CHANGE…I CAN FEEL IT…IT WASN’T the old anisha 6 months back..how I was in US...enjoying,friends,partys,not that matured about thoughts…..6 MONTHS IN INDIA CHANGED ME…GAVE ME A GOAL…IT WAS IN MY HEART..that i have to do it...One day while travelling on a weekend, That was the 1St nd LAST TIME i was travelled n an RTC BUS....sitting beside a lady with her FISHES BASKET whoz lifestyle is earning money by selling those fishes....THE BUS was crossing that bridge but stopped exactly on tht BRIDGE that evening because of train crossing gate ahed!! Sitting beside tht lady On that day i fealt like life is not the same for everyone...their struggle for money.. Just made me feel emotional seeing REALISTIC LiFE....of people n that bus...with common people.IT WAS JUST a DIFFRENT FEELING that I NEVER HAD IN MY LIFE!!!so i started my tutions,during march,i decided my preparation for 3rd internal should be differnt and i worked really hard...i recall those early mornings at 5am,when i went to anatomy tutions,when the roads of vja were empty and pleasant mornings with MORNING SUNRISE!!! ISnt it Such a beautiful thing to start your day with?...it was def.for me...There will be many ppl n our lives like those passing clouds ...which are tying to cover the rasing sun..But never forget we are like that bright sunshine that makes a diffrence in this world..Those passing clouds should never change our beautiful lifez... Those days when me and my friend charita came for ANATOMY TUTION...They were the MOST beautiful days whre we sat on terrace every morning,feeling may be we were the 1st one in the world to see this beautiful sunshine today...BEST MEMORIES!!...I REMBER those days when i knocked the gate every morning waking watchman up and waiting for him to unlock the gate!!!...ME and my friend saw mornings when mother nature was quiet nd pleasant and other days when those ferocious winds blew our papers around the terrace......pigeons walking around the terrace walls every morning &crows waiting for their food parimala mam gets every morning...i remember those days when the sky looked like its about to rain dragonflies wandering in air around our terrace...The best part is when mams younger son kartick comes and gives us entertainment n middle of our tuition...His words made us laugh almost every morning..and i can never forget those days when i didn't study what i was supposed to and came to tution...and when mam asks if i studied ;those,were the most confusing days when i couldn't decide whether to LIE OR TELL THE TRUTH....When i think of TIMES when i cried and DAYS WHEN mam gave me lecture about LIFE made me feel like there will probably be no teacher; who,cares about their students wellbeing as much as mam.....i recall those days when me and charita talking about people n our college and thinking about us passing finals...
It was time for 3rd internal...but this time i was shocked..I KNOW EVERYTHING ON THE PAPER...I JUST COULDNT BELIEVE THAT I RAN OUT OF TIME...IT WASNT LIKE EVERY OTHER TIME,LIKE PREVIOUS INTERNALS WHERE I HAD AN HOUR LEFT WAITING FOR THE BELL TO RING...BUT IT FEALT REALLY GOOD INSIDE HEART....THAT I WAS REALLY HAPPY FOR MY HARDWORK..it was time for results...i was shocked once again...my scores went up from range on 3-4 to all in sudden 17-20..qualified...i had that confidence i could do it in finals...eventhough i wased 6 months o time 1 month of my effort for tutions and learing the subject changed my scores drastically...i thought 2 more months of my preparation holidays if i focous and work day and night studying..i ll def.pass....I HAD THAT CONFIDENCE AFTER SEEING MY SCORES...WHICH I DREAMT OF AND THOUGHT IT WAS IMPOSIBLE 3 MONTHS BACK.....I FEALT THIS WAS ONE OF BEST MEMORY OF MY LIFE AMMA old age home...my fav place in this world.. I remember that 1st day i met them..one day while passing though my clge i noticed this place...when ever i feel depressed or stressed out i used to go out of clge...there alone to spend some time with them.. When ever i go there i just forget myself...its feels like a new world...somewhere i find my true happiness...Thre are diffrent casts old age people here...with diffrent problms,where none of their family members come to visit them....but all of them live like a family..no matter how much pain they hav in their heart ...hoping for their families to visit them before they die...BUT years passed on &this old age home created a family for them...sometimes they laugh at eachother making jokes,watch TV,gardening,times they fight,&after an hour end up forgetting wht happend,evening walk..every thing just makes their day...n the begging when i went thre to spend some time they shared their problems with me their families how they found this old age home in what situations...tears i tried to control that day...i could never forget...one saturday evening when i went thre i recall a new lady who was 26 yrs came thre with her 4 year old daughter..i asked them who is she none of them replied they said we dont knw....i went to that lady sat beside her and asked her what happend?she started crying holding my hand...i said listen i ll help u tell me what happend...she says he left me my husband...me and my daughter were on road last night...so i went to temple last night nd slept ther...a random man tried to rape me last night i ran frm temple nd on my way i found this place for shelter...she was holding my hand nd she asked me can u show me some job pls....i said yes i will...nextnext day i went to clge trying to talk to maneger n my canteen..but no use i asked n clge for any cleaning works or rpf works...i couldnt make it....later i went back to tell her dont worry give me 2 days time ll find somejob...nd we ll join ur daughter in free daycare school ...BUT by the time i went ther she is gone...dont knw whre she went or wht happened...i asked every one thre but they said she left ....i fealt really depressed....tht night..One more situation whre one lady was really happy that their family is coming back to take her home...how every one were happy that one of them is leaving..&i rember how they gave her send off happily.. This year times i spent in this place with them calling evryone grandma nd grandpa ...they treated me like their daughter....when ever i came to visit their hapiness in their faces tears in their eyes,how happy they feel when i hold their hands tight....saying m here nd ill be for you forever....everything all these momemnts and memories never leave my heart.....This photo was shot when i visited them to tell them m leaving to america...i rember how they asked your not going to come back...how they said dont leave and i said i m not leaving ll call you evrry week...i ll be thre for you ...till the end...&i introduced my frnd to them saying this is me from today......she ll visit u every month just like how i used to...but they miss me nd i ll miss them...so much One word they said are we going to be alive by the time u come back?i said yes all of you will stay here n this amma old age home...& i ll def.come back for all of you...my hopes and dreams will never die....BELIEF very important part n my life which i ll never leave behind!! ...many more memories n this place i could never forget n my lifetime!!
MY ROOM MATE SNEHA AKKA..SHE MADE MY LIFE AT COLLEGE...NO MATTER HOW MANY FRIENDS I WENT AROUND AND HOW MANY FIGHTS I HAD WITH THEM SHE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME..I rember the first day you ragged me when i looked at you like i dont care if your a senior...nd i ended up crying....i recall later whn SHE said i am the 1st person you ragged n this clge.....later after facing many isues with my roommates .....i got in her room moved in this room ..that morning n october when i walked in this room with saibabas photoframe n my hand hoping i shouldnt face those problems with my new room mate.....again !!! after shifting 2 rooms this is my 3rd room..during this i recall how i faced many rumors oh she does t stay in anyones room more than a month...how ppl laughed about me....
TIME passed on ..But in the beggining i didnt knw she is a senior i fealt like how to adjust with her....she looks so strict all her rules...i rember times when you said braid your hair,style a...× when she said i ll tell aunty(my mom) that m not studying seriously,when i said i don't wash my clothes..nd her expression that day like what??? U serious Its not US its india...nd how she made me get used to dumping em every day in wash basket for dobhi aunty..That day when both of us sneaked out of auditoriums side door to escape from that lecture n gallery in rain.....i recall those days when we went to librearys on sunday mornings..TImes when i was in serious issues with a person and i lied to you about it even after a promise and got myself stuck up with that issue..wasting so much time i couldnt realize at that point...time passed and friends who used to talk to me ,everyone just changed i fealt like they are not giving me importance AS THEY USED TO IN THE BEGGINING....m just feeling too much about them thinking they are true friends,How i went to buy them giftz...times you helped me pack gift that night when i dint knw how to wrap a gift cover,i recall how i used to get phone balence from tuckshop every evening to call them just for timepass....times when i walked beside hostel nd nursing hostel talking to them...but didnt realize how hard they are studying going to tutions while talking to me....TIMES when i got scared of lizards and yelled at security and how i ran all around the room freeking out...i recall how we ate pulkas chandu anna got some nights....biriyani timez parcels how i was lazy to wash my plate spoons and cups after using em...nd how i waited for all the flies nd ants to get n my milk cup from days before..hahaa.....times when she got mad after looking at that mess...saying ahh most NRIS. are way better than you...nd even when she got mad times when i laughed...i still remeber when she closed the curtain...nd dint open.....when we aurgued. she said what to do m trying to be serious but if i look at your face m going to laugh...thats why....TIMES we laughed...i recall that day when i got ready for that fashion show but m not a participant....i rember those days i talked with chandu anna about those race nd caste issues....TIMES when you set the alaram up to wake. Me up to study but i never woke up saying akka pls ll wake up n morning...Times when i went for a morning walk nd did yoga n that ground alone on the (stage area)....TIMes when i cried saying why are these ppl n india so artificial...i remberr that night...
Times when i went up and down to give books when i was in middle of watching badshah movie...days when she had my bank book &i had to get it from you every time and times mom called her saying dont let me go out alone....i recall those days when i skipped labs and lied to her....&suprisingly she figured out....times when i got parcels from canteen insted of eating lunch n mess....times when i got less scorings n internals...times i was depressed....when HOD yelled at me in front of everyone in class...nd i recall tht afternoon how she knew all that with out asking me what happend...TImes i said enti e akka ki annai telisipotayi.......Days she went home nd times i missed her alot staying lonely....nd those days whn her grandma holded my hands saying iddaru kalisi akka chelela undadndi....near the car n front of hostel that night.....in may when i left hostl times i texted her saying m studying nd how i loved physiology after learning subject...how i said i was going to tutions...nd i still recall how i sat on that bed mrnings during 3rd internal ...comming from home to write internals...i can never forget how she wished me all the best for every single exam...last day of final exam how happily i left the room for vacation.and now after results how i vacted the hostel room november 6th on gratitude party when all my class people are celebrating that day...day i tried to control my tears when they are parting.....but all i knw is i have changed myself...day 1 when i moved in your room nd last day when m vacating the room...I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON...how silly i was when i look back now....but i ll def come for her one day n my life to show that i did it....I like those old days how i was with her silly fights jokes many memories dont knw whre to put a end to them........its all different now...TIME &situations just changed me...but my last words she is always n my heart
IT WAS TIME FOR FINALS..AFTER MY PREPARATION...FOR 2 MONTHS WHERE I MOVED OUT OF HOSTEL STAYED WITH MY DAD ;HE CAME FOR MY EXAM PREP.HOLIDAYS FROM U.S...i studied day and night..tutions for anatomy at 5.00 am and mid afternoon hot summers i recall how i went for biochemistry tution...almost 2 times every afternoon...it was really the hottest summers frankly,and night for physiology tution...and all the time i had left to study was during night until 2.00 pm and had sleep of 3 to 4 hours....barely..
.FINALLY IT WAS FINALS TIME..THE EXAM DAY HAS COME...AND I KNEW EVERYTHING ON PAPER..IT WASNT THAT HARD AS I EXPECTED...BUT ANATOMY M SURE I DIDNT DO GOOD ON PAPER 1 IT WAS TOUGH FOR EVERYONE SO ITS EVEN TOUGHER FOR ME...other subjects biochem and physio i did the best..i knew i ll defianlty pass...I WAS REALLY CONFIDENT...I LL PASS...i still went to anatomy tution after finals...because i had a doubt i might have to go thr reexam for anatomy...waking up at 5.00 again...from 4 months i just got used to it...sleepless nights...i fealt the pain during those days..in my heart i had this feeling if i would ve studied from begging on college i wouldnt have had to gone through all this stress now....but evry thing happend for a reason...i believe....LATER RESULTS CAME OUT...IT WAS SEPTEMBER 9TH 2013...THAT NIGHT I WAS REALLY DEPRESSED..I FAILED ALL 3 ..MISSED BIOCHEM WITH 1 POINT..JUST 1 POINT..IT REALLY HURTS..AND OTHER SUBJECTS TOO REALLY CLOSE...I CRIED FOR 5 HOURS FOR 1ST TIME N MY LIFE....I TOOK A DECISION N THAT MOMEMT..WHICH WAS REALLY FOOLISH TO DO SO...BUT IN THAT DEPRESSION I WASNT IN A SITUATION TO THINK IS IT RIGHT WHAT M DOING OR WRONG...IT ALL HAPPEND UNEXPEXTEDLY...later my mom was really depressed for what happend and she was like ITS YOUR LIFE TAKE THE RIGHT DECISION NOW...YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO GO TO INDIA TO STUDY EVEN THOUGH WE SAID NO A YEAR AGO..WE GAVE U A CHOICE...AND AGAIN M SAYING THE SAME THING..ITS YOUR LIFE AGAIN..TAKE THE RIGHT DECESION...WHAT DO U WANT TO DO?i sat for a week in a room thinking alone...whole week....I TOLD HER MOM I WANT ONE MORE CHANCE ...I WANT TO STUDY COLLEGE AGAIN SAME SUBJECTS..I WANT ALL THE TIME THAT I WASTED....I WANT TO CHANGE MY PAST....BUT I KNEW ITS NOT POSSIBLE .....I HAD THIS FEELING DO I HAVE TO LEAVE MY GOAL?AM I A FAILURE?...MANY THOUGHTS N MY HEAD SO MUCH CONFUSION....BUT FINALLY .....I THOUGHT IT IS POSIBLE TO FIX MY MISTAKE CHANGE MY PAST..STUDY COLLEGE AGAIN.....I DECIDED TO COME BACK TO AMERICA..THATS THE ONLY WAY IF I WANT TO STUDY THEESE SAME SUBJECTS AGAIN....TAKING A SECOND CHANCE IN LIFE.... AND MY MIND WASNT SET YET FROM THAT DEPRESSION... i wasnt ready for reexam ANYWAYS .....i decided i ll come back to INDIA AFTER MY MEDICINE DEGREE FOR MY GOAL.....I M SURE ONE DAY IN MY LIFE WHEN I READ THIS PAGE BACK..I WILL DEFINATLY FEEL YESS I TOOK THE RIGHT DECISION THAT DAY.....HOPEFULLY IN 10 MORE YEARS I LL REACH MY GOAL AND COME BACK TO INDIA FOR MY SERVICE TO INDIA....AND MY OLD AGE HOME...WITH BLESSINGS OF SAIBABA..AN NRI UDJUSTING IN INDIA IS A TOUGH THING TO DO...AS I BELIEVE SO...AFTER COMMING BACK TO AMERICA,I STARTED MY BIOLOGY MAJOR,WORKING TOWARDS FINISHING MY 1ST SEM RIGHT NOW...AIMING FOR MCAT..HOPEFULLY IN NEXT 6 YEARS I LL BE A SUCCESSFUL DOCTOR..
I AM LOOKING FORWARD FOR ANY INDIANS WHO ARE STUDYING PREMED.UNDERGRADUATE COURSE RIGHT NOW AND HAS A GOAL LIKE MINE TO DO FREE SERVICE IN INDIA TO THE POOR AFTER FINISHING THEIR COURSE...IF I MEET SOME ONE WHO IS THINKING EXACTLY LIKE THIS..I AM REALLY LUCKY...HOPEFULLY SOME ONE WHO READ THIS ONE PERSON....WILL REPLY..
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nd not psychiatrist..surgeon
