SDN Members don't see this ad. (About Ads) Haven't had a good parody thread in a while so I started this one... Please feel free to add your own. Applicant: Persistent Old Man 70th time applicant, 91 years old, Male, California Applied: UC Davis, Western, WSU, Upenn Apps withdrawn: Western, WSU Interview: UC Davis, Upenn Accepted: UPenn Cum GPA @ time of application: 1.35 Last 45 credit hrs: 2.00 Science GPA @ time of application: 1.55 GRE: 1000. 400q, 600v, 1.5 AW Veterinary Experience: -69 years as a janitor at a small animal hospital -1 year as a clinic owner Animal Experience: -70,000 hours collecting road kill -20,000 hours chasing away pigeons from my window -100,000 hours cursing the raccoons opening my garbage -600,000 hours killing bugs. Extracurricular/Community Activities: -Santa Claus at the local mall -hot dog eating contest official janitor -Bowling league organizer 43 times. -Chased away at least 600 kids from my lawn Awards - employee of the week 18times - employee of the month 2 times - gold watch for retirement - gold star for perfect attendance 62 times. - awarded $180mm in lottery winnings. eLORS: 2 vets from the SA hospital I've worked at for 70 years 1 from the lottery ticket seller who I bought my winning lottery ticket from Other I am living proof you should never give up. I stink in the classroom and can't add without a calculator but I had a dream and I wouldn't let anyone convince me I couldn't do it. I kept on buying those lottery tickets every week for 70 years just in case I got into school, I knew I would need money. Luckily I won this year. Penn only required $100mm to fund their hospital from me. I thought I could stay in California, but Davis needed all the $180mm, and I just wasn't willing to give em everything. I mean, I am not that desperate. Also, by buying out the clinic I worked at last year, the vets were forced to give me a great recommendation, other wise I would have fired them!