Lol well I can try to explain, but I'm warning you, it might seem weird to most people here. So, I'm not sure if you guys would understand haha but basically, I'm Indian from a traditional family. I'm not even allowed to date Indian guys! And unfortunately, the guy I like is an Arab Muslim also (I think) from a traditional family. That itself should explain a lot
But to make things even more complicated, he's from Saudi on a sponsorship and according to his strict govt rules, he can't ever date/marry a foreigner during his time here. If he did and was caught, he would be sent back. If he didn't, he's required to go back afterwards anyways. His entire family still lives in Saudi, and all his relatives study here and go back, so I'm like 98% sure he's going to leave for good.
I feel like all the stuff I just mentioned was why I hesitated so much in the first place. I'm not a type for flings…when I like someone, I feel it completely. I'm not some model, but I think I'm attractive enough and fun to be with. So, I feel he would have liked me back, esp based on the convos we had over text. If he forgave me, and we got involved, I'd be swept away. I have a huge crush on him. He's extremely charming and hard to stay away from
Realistically speaking though, if it became serious, I'd have to convert religions, leave my family behind, forget med school, and suffer the social stigma that comes from a loss of honor within Indian society. Knowing me, I fear that I
would do all those things. And that's where the disownage part comes in.
Hence, the reason why I'm trying to nip it in the bud now. I'm probably overreacting, but if there's no hope for a future, there's no point right? Plus, I don't know what his intentions are. If he was just looking for a fling, and left me afterwards, I wouldn't be strong enough to take it. Believe me, I'd LOVE to go out with him, but it's not a good idea.
I know it's complicated and probably sounds silly, but that's why