Opposite Gender Student Host

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wasteofspace323 said:
It's different for girls.
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Lol, I'm aware. I don't think anyone, regardless of gender, just chills with a bunch of leather and booklets shoved down their underwearo_O
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To glazedonut and sb - I was responding to Not a Serial Killer and Monster Cat who brought up sexual assault. If you're just generally uncomfortable in the presence of the opposite gender for cultural reasons that's w/e to me, its saying youre afraid your med student will rape you as a reason to hesitate that I thought was ridiculous
 
efle said:
To glazedonut and sb - I was responding to Not a Serial Killer and Monster Cat who brought up sexual assault. If you're just generally uncomfortable in the presence of the opposite gender for cultural reasons that's w/e to me, its saying youre afraid your med student will rape you as a reason to hesitate that I thought was ridiculous
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Sexual assault is a very broad term, but I should have just said that going to a male stranger's house in another city puts you in a vulnerable position as a woman, and it's not absurd to think that something you don't want to happen could, med student or otherwise. Violent rape? Probably not. Something that makes you feel really uncomfortable? Not impossible at all. Even that isn't super likely, but it's not a 1/1,000,000 event that would be silly to worry about.
 
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efle said:
To glazedonut and sb - I was responding to Not a Serial Killer and Monster Cat who brought up sexual assault. If you're just generally uncomfortable in the presence of the opposite gender for cultural reasons that's w/e to me, its saying youre afraid your med student will rape you as a reason to hesitate that I thought was ridiculous
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I made the assumption about the culture thing based on ops parents, no idea if that's actually a factor

Definitely agree that a med student host is not likely to assault anyone
 
"Hey guys I asked for a student host and someone was willing to let a complete stranger sleep in their house for a night for absolutely no charge and no benefit to themselves. This makes me uncomfortable. How can I be as cheap as possible while being a princess who cannot bear to stay in the same place as someone of a different gender? Also I am still connected to my parents via umbilical cord even though by all means I should be a self sufficient adult"
 
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If he does something inappropriate you might have leverage over him. Might be able to get him to put in a positive word with the committee if you play your cards right. Might be worth it to just threaten him outright even if he doesn't do anything inappropriate.
 
No ones going to want to host after reading this thread
 
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The male host should be just as concerned about false rape allegations.
 
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xyphr said:
A person is allowed to feel uncomfortable for whatever damn reason they please, you don't get to decide that for them. How that equates to being cheap, a princess, or "connected to her parents via umbilical cord" is a completely nonsensical deduction. Get a clue.
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Exaggeration? Hyperbole? On the internet?!?

Mind = Blown
 
Idk I would be kind of insulted if I offered to host someone, They accepted my offer, then said "O wait your a man"? Furthermore PC principal would be furious!
 
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xyphr said:
A person is allowed to feel uncomfortable for whatever damn reason they please, you don't get to decide that for them. How that equates to being cheap, a princess, or "connected to her parents via umbilical cord" is a completely nonsensical deduction. Get a clue.
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A person is allowed to feel uncomfortable for whatever reason. People are also allowed to have opinions on whether or not they think that they're being unhealthily neurotic for worrying about being hosted in an opposite gendered person's home for a night.
 
Im just trying to imagine this the other way around. A guy staying at a female students house, I wonder how the guy would feel :D
 
xyphr said:
Fair enough, though I probably wouldn't go as far as calling spending a night with a random stranger who can easily physically outbody you "unhealthily neurotic." Is it likely to happen? Probably not. Is it a valid concern? Well, the world is a cruel place and crazier things have certainly happened.
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I agree that there is a non-zero chance of being physically assaulted. But you can't really go through life worrying about that. There are freak accidents where people are run over on the sidewalk. That doesn't mean that most people who walk on sidewalks are likely going to be hit. In fact, the vast majority of people are fine. But crazier things have happened.
 
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Ugh. As someone with conservative, strict South Asian parents, the amount of judgement I see on this thread is disgusting to me. Some people may not personally have an issue with staying with a person of the opposite gender, but they may actually want to take the opinions of their parents into account! Imagine that! Your parents feed you, clothe you, provide for you- your mother carries you inside of her for 9 months. Respecting their wishes doesn't mean that you're a codependent, neurotic idiot who's "still attached at the umbilical cord." Hell, I'm an extremely independent person, I see my parents maybe 3-4 times a year, and their input is still very important to me. If I can easily avoid doing something that clashes with their values, why not try?

For the record, the judgement I see from both sides is disgusting. This is why every person in the world needs to live in another country for at least 6 months.

Individualists: "It's soooo pathetic how some kids are still attached by the umbilical cord!!!!!"

Collectivists: "It's soooo despicable how white people just let their parents rot in nursing homes after all they've done for them!!!!"

How about you just do you, and don't mock people online because they don't fit into your narrow worldview?
 
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Whats up Doc! said:
Im just trying to imagine this the other way around. A guy staying at a female students house, I wonder how the guy would feel :D
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Haha! I actually had this happen to me, which is why I was curious about the situation. I'm not sure how the girl (and her female roommate) felt, but it wasn't weird at all. I had an air mattress, some pillows, a blanket, and she got me to the school on time. She also gave me a few interview tips. That's really all you need. :)
 
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If OP had those concerns, she should have not selected a name which she could not identify gender with and not just go off on same high school same state. That said, request can be easily made (but OP will look silly to the coordinators as she selected the host). As posters said, OP will be a-ok in safety if she ends up with the male host.
 
BadgerBadger said:
Haha! I actually had this happen to me, which is why I was curious about the situation. I'm not sure how the girl (and her female roommate) felt, but it wasn't weird at all. I had an air mattress, some pillows, a blanket, and she got me to the school on time. She also gave me a few interview tips. That's really all you need. :)
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Yeah I figured guys in general would be okay with staying with girls, I know I would be!
 
chocoholicsoxfan said:
Ugh. As someone with conservative, strict South Asian parents, the amount of judgement I see on this thread is disgusting to me. Some people may not personally have an issue with staying with a person of the opposite gender, but they may actually want to take the opinions of their parents into account! Imagine that! Your parents feed you, clothe you, provide for you- your mother carries you inside of her for 9 months. Respecting their wishes doesn't mean that you're a codependent, neurotic idiot who's "still attached at the umbilical cord." Hell, I'm an extremely independent person, I see my parents maybe 3-4 times a year, and their input is still very important to me. If I can easily avoid doing something that clashes with their values, why not try?

For the record, the judgement I see from both sides is disgusting. This is why every person in the world needs to live in another country for at least 6 months.

Individualists: "It's soooo pathetic how some kids are still attached by the umbilical cord!!!!!"

Collectivists: "It's soooo despicable how white people just let their parents rot in nursing homes after all they've done for them!!!!"

How about you just do you, and don't mock people online because they don't fit into your narrow worldview?
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1422294536383.jpg
 
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Glazedonutlove said:
Obviously you're a guy
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Please, I'm a girl who has actually been assaulted and I think they were spot-on. That's not to say that we're automatically right or anything, just that your generalization here is just as inappropriate and inaccurate as you keep accusing everyone else to be.

Seriously, how do you run around calling people out on cultural sensitivity and then dismiss someone's perspective as "you wouldn't understand, cuz you're a guy" ?

Glazedonutlove said:
This is why I told that one person to google cultural sensitivity... Idk how people like this are allowed in professional careers
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Right, because finding their stance illogical while maintaining that they have every right to their feelings even without specific justification is absolutely heinous of me, totally on the same level as that hyperbolic post :rolleyes:

And for the record, not only have I lived in tons of different socioeconomic classes, parts of the country, and family setups, I've also travelled abroad, translated in hospitals, and am headed to go live in a different country for 6mo before med school specifically because I recognized how much cultural and language barriers can have a negative impact on healthcare experiences and outcomes here and I want to be able to provide better care to those populations.

But sure, because I have my own perspective and shared it on an online discussion thread, where I have no professional responsibility to OP and should feel free to discuss the actual topic, I'm an entitled @$$ despite specifically noting that they didn't need to justify their stance, just decide what to do.
 
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mehc012 said:
Please, I'm a girl who has actually been assaulted and I think they were spot-on. That's not to say that we're automatically right or anything, just that your generalization here is just as inappropriate and inaccurate as you keep accusing everyone else to be.

Seriously, how do you run around calling people out on cultural sensitivity and then dismiss someone's perspective as "you wouldn't understand, cuz you're a guy" ?


Right, because finding their stance illogical while maintaining that they have every right to their feelings even without specific justification is absolutely heinous of me, totally on the same level as that hyperbolic post :rolleyes:

And for the record, not only have I lived in tons of different socioeconomic classes, parts of the country, and family setups, I've also travelled abroad, translated in hospitals, and am headed to go live in a different country for 6mo before med school specifically because I recognized how much cultural and language barriers can have a negative impact on healthcare experiences and outcomes here and I want to be able to provide better care to those populations.

But sure, because I have my own perspective and shared it on an online discussion thread, where I have no professional responsibility to OP and should feel free to discuss the actual topic, I'm an entitled @$$ despite specifically noting that they didn't need to justify their stance, just decide what to do.
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:thumbup:
 
chocoholicsoxfan said:
Ugh. As someone with conservative, strict South Asian parents, the amount of judgement I see on this thread is disgusting to me. Some people may not personally have an issue with staying with a person of the opposite gender, but they may actually want to take the opinions of their parents into account! Imagine that! Your parents feed you, clothe you, provide for you- your mother carries you inside of her for 9 months. Respecting their wishes doesn't mean that you're a codependent, neurotic idiot who's "still attached at the umbilical cord." Hell, I'm an extremely independent person, I see my parents maybe 3-4 times a year, and their input is still very important to me. If I can easily avoid doing something that clashes with their values, why not try?
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If one is frightened, in their twenties, at the thought of spending a night alone in the same house with a male because of what their parents might think, that doesn't exactly scream "independence" to me.

I for one hold the belief that you do not owe your parents complete control or oversight over your life simply because they raised you.
 
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chocoholicsoxfan said:
Ugh. As someone with conservative, strict South Asian parents, the amount of judgement I see on this thread is disgusting to me. Some people may not personally have an issue with staying with a person of the opposite gender, but they may actually want to take the opinions of their parents into account! Imagine that! Your parents feed you, clothe you, provide for you- your mother carries you inside of her for 9 months. Respecting their wishes doesn't mean that you're a codependent, neurotic idiot who's "still attached at the umbilical cord." Hell, I'm an extremely independent person, I see my parents maybe 3-4 times a year, and their input is still very important to me. If I can easily avoid doing something that clashes with their values, why not try?
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OP's parents would never have find out about this situation if she hadn't told them. And yes, it is quite ridiculous to be claiming that you are making X decision only out of respect for your parents, who are nowhere in sight and who would never find out about it. Should I not be gay because it might require my grandparents to (gasp) challenge their beliefs? What kind of nonsense logic is that? Doing stupid, provocative things like wearing revealing clothing in front of them is one thing. But neither OP, nor anyone else, should have to walk on eggshells or apologize for simply living their life.

I find it ironic (if typical) that the one telling others to not be judgmental is the one making the strongest condemnations.
 
Leave it to SDN to take a simple call or dont call question into a moralistic debate .. This site makes me wonder if i am way too simple to mingle with med students .. Its either call or dont.. Its up to you ..
Perks of growing up on a island I guess ? Life is much more simple
 
Glazedonutlove said:
I think we all have valid points honestly. How about we let op do whatever the f she feels is the right decision after this long thread
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Never!!! I have spent all day carefully hacking their IP in a dark room with a screen casting green light upon my face, so that I could hijack a government satellite to trace their physical location. Tonight, ninjas shall sneak into their room and confirm their hosting appointment, CCing their parents on the message for maximum impact!

Or, you know, what you said...yeah, that sounds like a lot less effort. :p
Fwiw, however, I always view these sorts of threads, once the initial 2 posts on the straightforward advice are done with, to be more like jumping-off points for discussion than anything else. This may be part of our disconnect...I see a thread like this and go "cool, OP's choices are pretty clear from here, now let's discuss the topic at hand" and if you don't view a thread that way, it looks more like trying to force the OP into doing what I'd do. If we just did question→the simple answer→cool no point in further discussion every time, though, this forum could easily be replaced by a robot scanning for keywords and copypastaing a few choice posts over and over, and where's the fun in that? I feel as if I learned something from talking with people (such as yourself) in this thread and OP got their answer within a post or two, win/win!
 
Chelsea FC said:
Leave it to SDN to take a simple call or dont call question into a moralistic debate .. This site makes me wonder if i am way too simple to mingle with med students .. Its either call or dont.. Its up to you ..
Perks of growing up on a island I guess ? Life is much more simple
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Oh aye, but people know that answer before asking, so if they're posting they're kind of requesting overcomplication, no?
98% of these sorts of simple questions are resolved by people at home going "I have these two options...it's up to me..." but we never see them.
 
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Chelsea FC said:
Leave it to SDN to take a simple call or dont call question into a moralistic debate .. This site makes me wonder if i am way too simple to mingle with med students .. Its either call or dont.. Its up to you ..
Perks of growing up on a island I guess ? Life is much more simple
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We're all intellectually curious; comes with the territory. I'm just obnoxious:p
 
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xyphr said:
A person is allowed to feel uncomfortable for whatever damn reason they please, you don't get to decide that for them. How that equates to being cheap, a princess, or "connected to her parents via umbilical cord" is a completely nonsensical deduction. Get a clue.
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I didn't say anything about what someone is allowed to feel. What a bizarre argument. If you feel uncomfortable about a situation that you would be willingly be putting yourself in then don't do it. I'm not sure what all the culture warriors think they're doing in this thread but this is a very simple problem with a simple solution. Stop being ungrateful and get a hotel room or call the school and ask for a different host. It's not rocket surgery kid

If you're going into a profession that is about making decisions and you can't make a simple decision without polling the Internet you're doing something wrong
 
chocoholicsoxfan said:
Ugh. As someone with conservative, strict South Asian parents, the amount of judgement I see on this thread is disgusting to me. Some people may not personally have an issue with staying with a person of the opposite gender, but they may actually want to take the opinions of their parents into account! Imagine that! Your parents feed you, clothe you, provide for you- your mother carries you inside of her for 9 months. Respecting their wishes doesn't mean that you're a codependent, neurotic idiot who's "still attached at the umbilical cord." Hell, I'm an extremely independent person, I see my parents maybe 3-4 times a year, and their input is still very important to me. If I can easily avoid doing something that clashes with their values, why not try?

For the record, the judgement I see from both sides is disgusting. This is why every person in the world needs to live in another country for at least 6 months.

Individualists: "It's soooo pathetic how some kids are still attached by the umbilical cord!!!!!"

Collectivists: "It's soooo despicable how white people just let their parents rot in nursing homes after all they've done for them!!!!"

How about you just do you, and don't mock people online because they don't fit into your narrow worldview?
Click to expand...

"I'm judging you for judging someone, you need to stop judging people! My opinion is that your opinion is invalid! Look at me I'm so inclusive and worldly!"

Maybe I would take you seriously if you knew how to spell judgment properly.
 
Psai said:
"I'm judging you for judging someone, you need to stop judging people! My opinion is that your opinion is invalid! Look at me I'm so inclusive and worldly!"

Maybe I would take you seriously if you knew how to spell judgment properly.
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Oh man! I used a perfectly acceptable spelling of a word with Swype on mobile after being up for 36 consecutive hours! I'm so stupid! **** off.

And sorry, but you don't get to play that card. You can't be a xenophobic ass and then yell at ME for calling you out on it. That's like if I judged you for being a racist and then you said "god!!1! Just let me believe what I want to believe, ok?!"

That's the thing, ALL of you responding to me are telling me OP is wrong for taking her parent's opnions into account, and using your own PERSONAL opinions to tell me why I'm wrong (eg I don't think you owe your parents anything just because they raised you.) COOL. That's what you think. It doesn't have any bearing on the cultural context in which OP is presenting her problem to us. I saw no entitlement in OP's post about the school needing to place her with a different host. It's not like she said "how dare they not give me a female!" She simply asked what to do, probably more worried about if being so fickle would affect her admissions decision more than anything else. My advice to her is simple. Call and ask. If they say yes, then you're golden! If they say no, decide whether saving $100 on a hotel is more important to you or listening to your parents. They might even offer to pay. It's not that complicated.
 
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I have no idea about what card you are talking about or where you are getting xenophobia from anything I said. I have no idea about the race or national origin of the op. I also don't recall any cultural context in the op. You can take your deluded raving and gratuitous capitalizations elsewhere thanks
 
By all means, continue being a bigot! Just try not to get any kids arrested for bringing homemade clocks to school, m'kay?
 
"Hi, I'm so sorry, but I made a mistake filling out the form, and I'd be more comfortable staying with a female student. Would it be possible for me to switch hosts?"

Awkward, but not the end of the world. I don't think OP would be unsafe, but if she's uncomfortable with the situation it's not unreasonable to ask for a switch.
 
chocoholicsoxfan said:
By all means, continue being a bigot! Just try not to get any kids arrested for bringing homemade clocks to school, m'kay?
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What? Nothing you say makes any sense. Do you even know what a bigot is?
 
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Are you going to see male patients alone or will you need the buddy system?
 
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sb247 said:
I get the joke but chaperoning is a well established medical practice
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I've personally never seen a female doc need a male chap in my 3+ years volunteering. Not to say it doesn't happen, but there's definitely less of it.

But guy made the same comment I was going to and I got a chuckle.
 
If I went to a doctor or NP who was uncomfortable seeing me in an exam room alone, I would immediately transfer my care elsewhere.
 
ChrisMack390 said:
If I went to a doctor or NP who was uncomfortable seeing me in an exam room alone, I would immediately transfer my care elsewhere.
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I'd probably do the same. If it was a med student, a chap is expected. But a licensed resident? Get over yourself.
 
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