Parents will no longer pay for school

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Xe54

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Long story short: I got into a huge, drawn out fight with my parents and they will no longer pay for my undergraduate schooling. I have to pay $15,000 for the Fall semester by August 20th. I'm thinking of taking a break and figuring out what to do. They said that I can still live with them, but I have to pay for everything - food, clothing, gas, car insurance, et cetera. This I can do, but I cannot afford an undergraduate education on my own. What am I supposed to do from here on in? Should I take out student loans and apply for merit aid at a state school? I'm completely lost and need guidance. Any help is appreciated. Thank you.

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If I were you, I would take out a loan if your family is willing to co-sign. I took out all the loans up front each semester so I didn't have to worry about making enough to cover costs and then poured all my money that I made at my job into the loans whenever I had money to spare during the semester. Others are uncomfortable with high loans...

How many semesters do you have left? Most schools have monthly payment plans, if you hold down a job even part time you will be able to afford part-tuition and take the rest out in loans...thus smaller loans. This is likely the most sensible option if you are against large loans.

You can also take a year off and transfer to a cheaper institution/institution where you can get merit aid.
 
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Long story short: I got into a huge, drawn out fight with my parents and they will no longer pay for my undergraduate schooling. I have to pay $15,000 for the Fall semester by August 20th. I'm thinking of taking a break and figuring out what to do. They said that I can still live with them, but I have to pay for everything - food, clothing, gas, car insurance, et cetera. This I can do, but I cannot afford an undergraduate education on my own. What am I supposed to do from here on in? Should I take out student loans and apply for merit aid at a state school? I'm completely lost and need guidance. Any help is appreciated. Thank you.

Where are you in your schooling? If you only have one year to go, I'd suck it up and take out loans so you can finish. If you have more than that, it might be better to take a break, evaluate your options, and figure out if there is a better/cheaper way for you to move forward (transferring, applying for scholarships, appealing your financial aid package with your school, etc). Undergraduate debt can be very problematic so you don't want to pile on more than you have to.
 
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1) Try to get on good terms with your parents
2) Consider a state school with smaller tuition
 
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My parents are willing to co-sign on loans. I'll be a junior this fall, so I have four semesters left to go until graduation. I'm an engineering major, so I will be able to pay back the loans with relative ease once I get a full-time job. I'm putting medical school on the back burner for now.
 
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Loans. If you have multiple years left you could consider transferring, though that can often add time due to credit transfer issues
 
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take out loans
 
Take a drive to your school and visit the Financial Aid office. They'll advise you and maybe even help you out for the upcoming semester . Good luck!
 
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1) call your financial aid dept and have them walk you through loans
2) stop getting in fights with your sole financial provider, look at it like they were paying you $40k/yr plus room and board for the privilege of winning arguments
 
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+1 to talking to financial aid first. I know that my school sets aside some money they can loan specifically for sudden financial changes. Check if your school has something similar as the rates will be similar to that of subsidized loans.
 
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FAFSA

Now

Do it while you still have time
basically all of the above.

in rank of my preference:
1)make up with your parents... like someone else said, they are essentially paying tens of thousands of dollars for you. we all get in fights with our parents. there is no excuse that ever makes it right, and explain that to them. let them know that you just let your temper get the best of you and you regret ever talking to them like that. let them know you appreciate all of the overtime, cutting back on their own spending, taking loans out in their names, etc that they have done just so that you can get a good education.
2)check w/ financial aid then as they see fit, file your FAFSA differently now... as bad as this sounds, if there is government/private grant money available that would allow your parents to save the money even if they wanted to pay, why wouldn't you accept it? it's there for people who can't afford school without loans.
3)loans. if you can get government ones do that instead of private loans. last would be private loans since those are typically much higher interest.
 
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Through Sallie Mae you can do a pay as you go plan. The cost of each semester is broken down into monthly payments, the term of the 'loan' depends on how early you sign up for it.
I went to a state school and was able pay tuition this way. Your social life will take a hit though due to the time and monetary constraints.
 
1 - Like everyone else said, get in contact with your financial aid office. They'll walk you through what you need to do.

2 - Grovel. My parents were never in a position to help me pay for anything, but I'm sure my independence/self-respect/etc. is worth much less than tuition and car payments. I'm 33 with kids now, and I'd let them give me a curfew and a chore list if they were paying my way.
 
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1 - Like everyone else said, get in contact with your financial aid office. They'll walk you through what you need to do.

2 - Grovel. My parents were never in a position to help me pay for anything, but I'm sure my independence/self-respect/etc. is worth much less than tuition and car payments. I'm 33 with kids now, and I'd let them give me a curfew and a chore list if they were paying my way.

I feel like I'm missing an opportunity here...I'm totally willing to be anyone's kid, and I mean anyone right now for $40k/yr while I'm in school, pm me with offers!
 
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I'm more curious what you fought about ... Am I a bad person?
 
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I'm more curious what you fought about ... Am I a bad person?

I go to a top 50 school out-of-state that's expensive and I got a C in one of my summer classes (differential equations). I forget what the bill for this summer was, but it was high. He (my father) said that if I get another C, he won't pay my tuition. I told him that he was being ridiculous, as this is the only C grade I've ever received in college so far. We fought verbally back and forth until he said "F**k this. I'm not paying for you to go to college anymore. You don't study hard enough. All you do is goof off." I told him that I do not "goof off" and that this class was very difficult. We fought some more and he threw a punch at me and hit me in the nose. I told him to go f**k himself and never speak to me again.
 
I go to a top 50 school out-of-state that's expensive and I got a C in one of my summer classes (differential equations). I forget what the bill for this summer was, but it was high. He (my father) said that if I get another C, he won't pay my tuition. I told him that he was being ridiculous, as this is the only C grade I've ever received in college so far. We fought verbally back and forth until he said "F**k this. I'm not paying for you to go to college anymore. You don't study hard enough. All you do is goof off." I told him that I do not "goof off" and that this class was very difficult. We fought some more and he threw a punch at me and hit me in the nose. I told him to go f**k himself and never speak to me again.

You clearly didn't realize how nice you had it. Your parents were paying all of that money for you to go to college and you got angry when your father wanted to see you doing well? I would've been like, "sorry, Dad, I know it's a bad grade, but I didn't realize how hard the class would be and I thought it'd be okay to take it over the summer," especially if I was lucky enough to have my parents footing the bill. Or something along those lines. Either way, you just screwed yourself out of a lot of money, and telling him that he was being ridiculous was definitely out of line (given that it makes you seem like you'd be okay with another C when he's paying all of that money).
 
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I go to a top 50 school out-of-state that's expensive and I got a C in one of my summer classes (differential equations). I forget what the bill for this summer was, but it was high. He (my father) said that if I get another C, he won't pay my tuition. I told him that he was being ridiculous, as this is the only C grade I've ever received in college so far. We fought verbally back and forth until he said "F**k this. I'm not paying for you to go to college anymore. You don't study hard enough. All you do is goof off." I told him that I do not "goof off" and that this class was very difficult. We fought some more and he threw a punch at me and hit me in the nose. I told him to go f**k himself and never speak to me again.
Sometimes when a situation like this arises, it's better to say "okay" for the time being and broach your concerns a few days later when the emotional level has settled down for all those involved. What's happened has already happened, but maintaining a good relationship with your parents is important. Hopefully the next time things get heated, you'll have more experience with how to work your parents just the right way so that things pan out smoothly.

telling him that he was being ridiculous was definitely out of line (given that it makes you seem like you'd be okay with another C when he's paying all of that money).
I don't think so. Everyone makes mistakes, and earning a C grade does not automatically mean that you are lazy. While OP's dad has the right to decide when he will pay tuition, it's also true that he was being a bit harsh. It seems to me that OP's dad was just tense (worried, angry, etc.) after hearing about the C grade. He probably would have backed down a bit after he had time to cool off. But OP probably got overly defensive after his/her dad threatened to stop paying tuition (this is an understandable response, even if it isn't the ideal one), and things escalated from there.
 
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Sounds like you were the one being ridiculous. You clearly didn't realize how nice you had it. Your parents were paying all of that money for you to go to college and you got angry when your father wanted to see you doing well? I would've been like, "sorry, Dad, I know it's a bad grade, but I didn't realize how hard the class would be and I thought it'd be okay to take it over the summer," especially if I was lucky enough to have my parents footing the bill. Or something along those lines. Either way, you just screwed yourself out of a lot of money, and telling him that he was being ridiculous was definitely out of line (given that it makes you seem like you'd be okay with another C when he's paying all of that money).

And him almost breaking my nose wasn't out of line because he got angry?
 
Sounds like you were the one being ridiculous. You clearly didn't realize how nice you had it. Your parents were paying all of that money for you to go to college and you got angry when your father wanted to see you doing well? I would've been like, "sorry, Dad, I know it's a bad grade, but I didn't realize how hard the class would be and I thought it'd be okay to take it over the summer," especially if I was lucky enough to have my parents footing the bill. Or something along those lines. Either way, you just screwed yourself out of a lot of money, and telling him that he was being ridiculous was definitely out of line (given that it makes you seem like you'd be okay with another C when he's paying all of that money).
Sounds like dude's Dad was being a little ridiculous as well. Guy ends up punching his kid in the face for a C?! Sounds like his old man needs to get a grip. (Yes I realize I have heard only 1 of the 3 sides of the story)
 
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And him almost breaking my nose wasn't out of line because he got angry?

Probably was out of line on his part, but you almost had to've escalated things in some way if he did that. Maybe you weren't the one being ridiculous (I retract my original comment), but you have to be able to keep things from getting escalated and heated when arguments arise.

I second allenlchs' advice - try to get back on good terms with your parents either way and learn from this situation.

I don't think so. Everyone makes mistakes, and earning a C grade does not automatically mean that you are lazy. While OP's dad has the right to decide when he will pay tuition, it's also true that OP's dad was being a bit harsh. It seems to me that OPs dad was just tense (worried, angry, etc.) after hearing about the C grade and probably would have backed down a bit after he had time to cool down. But OP probably got overly defensive after his/her dad threatened to stop paying tuition (this is an understandable response, even if it isn't the ideal one), and things escalated from there.

I agree with that and definitely don't think that his getting a C means he's lazy. Differential equations isn't just some run-of-the-mill class, and it seems a little ridiculous to act like doing well in that class over the summer is an easy task.
 
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Did you ever get Cs in high school?
 
1) call your financial aid dept and have them walk you through loans
2) stop getting in fights with your sole financial provider, look at it like they were paying you $40k/yr plus room and board for the privilege of winning arguments

3. Start to read up on personal finance so you don't become the new resident I spoke with a couple weeks ago who had just opened his first checking account when residency began (!). Start with whitecoatinvestor.com.
 
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Did you ever get Cs in high school?

I think I might have received one or two, but I went to a public HS in a town where taxes are low, so my Dad wasn't really that concerned. I always received As and Bs, otherwise. I think he just got really upset that I did poorly in DE and had to shell out a lot of money for the course. I don't attend an Ivy, but I go to a school where the out-of-state tuition is in the Ivy League range.
 
How do I get back on good terms with my parents so that they might reconsider paying my tuition? Things have cooled down a bit since the argument. I think today might be a good day to have a discussion about what to do going forward.
 
Well I don't believe that your parents really wish to screw you up big time. At the end of the day they have been putting up with you your whole life. It just doesn't make sense to invest in your child for so long and then stop the support near the end over a small argument.
 
And him almost breaking my nose wasn't out of line because he got angry?
I can tell you if I ever told my mother or father to "**** off", I would not be alive. I kid you not. They literally threw me out the car once when I said "could you please shut up, I'm trying to study" while on the car at age 16. Walked >5 miles home. I wouldn't put it above them to throw me out then run me over if I cursed at them.

(Threw me out of a moving car btw)

I would say the easiest way is to apologize and clarify. Sure he probably shouldn't hit you but I'm sure you were out of line too. Maybe they will still pay if you reword it ask some have suggested)
 
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I can tell you if I ever told my mother or father to "**** off", I would not be alive. I kid you not. They literally threw me out the car once when I said "could you please shut up, I'm trying to study" while on the car at age 16. Walked >5 miles home. I wouldn't put it above them to throw me out then run me over if I cursed at them.

(Threw me out of a moving car btw)

I would say the easiest way is to apologize and clarify. Sure he probably shouldn't hit you but I'm sure you were out of line too. Maybe they will still pay if you reword it ask some have suggested)
moving car throwing is child abuse, not joking

telling you to walk at 16 after stopping the car is hilarious, also not joking
 
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moving car throwing is child abuse, not joking

telling you to walk at 16 after stopping the car is hilarious, also not joking
They are Asian - no such thing as child abuse... In their minds lol
 
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They are Asian - no such thing as child abuse... In their minds lol

I'm sorry you had to go through that...my parents were both from strict farming families, while they never got physical like that I was never confused about how fast all my clothes could be in the driveway if I ever refused their rules
 
3. Start to read up on personal finance so you don't become the new resident I spoke with a couple weeks ago who had just opened his first checking account when residency began (!). Start with whitecoatinvestor.com.
I can't comprehend this. My dad helped me open a checking account when I was 8 and proceeded to teach me about balancing a checkbook.
 
They are Asian - no such thing as child abuse... In their minds lol

Doesn't make it right/legal.

I was abused too (not Asian) and I guarantee you that I don't brush it off and act like it was no big deal, because it is.

In OP's case, he escalated an already tense situation. No, his father shouldn't have hit him but my inclination is that this isn't the first time this has happened. He knew what pushed his father's buttons, sometimes you get caught up in the heat of the moment. Ridiculous behavior or not, dad still holds the power, so you have to bend over backwards to get what you want. Student loans suck.
 
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Doesn't make it right/legal.

I was abused too (not Asian) and I guarantee you that I don't brush it off and act like it was no big deal, because it is.

In OP's case, he escalated an already tense situation. No, his father shouldn't have hit him but my inclination is that this isn't the first time this has happened. He knew what pushed his father's buttons, sometimes you get caught up in the heat of the moment. Ridiculous behavior or not, dad still holds the power, so you have to bend over backwards to get what you want. Student loans suck.

This is the first time I've ever gotten myself into a fight like this with my father. Sure, we've had quarrels every now and then, but nothing like this.
 
Sorry to hear this, Xe.

Time to get a job, work, save some money, and only then go back to school. CC credits will save on $ too. And take out loans as others have sagely suggested.

Joining the Armed Forces Reserves will also help with cash once your enlistment is up, I believe. Can any of our veterans elaborate?

Give the semi-toxic relationship with your parents, you might want to consider moving out once you're established.

Long story short: I got into a huge, drawn out fight with my parents and they will no longer pay for my undergraduate schooling. I have to pay $15,000 for the Fall semester by August 20th. I'm thinking of taking a break and figuring out what to do. They said that I can still live with them, but I have to pay for everything - food, clothing, gas, car insurance, et cetera. This I can do, but I cannot afford an undergraduate education on my own. What am I supposed to do from here on in? Should I take out student loans and apply for merit aid at a state school? I'm completely lost and need guidance.


Repeat after me: "Mom and Dad, you were right, I was wrong, and I still and will always love you."
How do I get back on good terms with my parents so that they might reconsider paying my tuition? Things have cooled down a bit since the argument. I think today might be a good day to have a discussion about what to do going forward.

Well, this is felony. Your dad is lucky he's not in jail.
And him almost breaking my nose wasn't out of line because he got angry?
 
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Others have already addressed how you might go about paying for school:
Loans, transfer, etc.

If you're still relatively new to school (2-3 years left), you could consider ROTC. 4 year repayment of service for 3 years of school is not too terrible of a trade. You may also qualify to repay your 4 years after medical school if you stay traditional and matriculate to medical school directly after undergraduate. This would be distinctly different from an HPSP-related military repayment and is difficult, but you get a guaranteed education and job after school if you don't make it into medical school. Alternatively I think you can sign up for both ROTC and the HPSP program (total of 8 years repayment); however, I tend to caution people (read: strongly warn against) going to medical school on HPSP scholarship.

EDIT: Goro beat me to military service.
 
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This is the first time I've ever gotten myself into a fight like this with my father. Sure, we've had quarrels every now and then, but nothing like this.

That's unfortunate. Something must have made him really snap. Sorry OP.
 
Sorry to hear this, Xe.

Time to get a job, work, save some money, and only then go back to school. CC credits will save on $ too. And take out loans as others have sagely suggested.

Joining the Armed Forces Reserves will also help with cash once your enlistment is up, I believe. Can any of our veterans elaborate?

Give the semi-toxic relationship with your parents, you might want to consider moving out once you're established.

Long story short: I got into a huge, drawn out fight with my parents and they will no longer pay for my undergraduate schooling. I have to pay $15,000 for the Fall semester by August 20th. I'm thinking of taking a break and figuring out what to do. They said that I can still live with them, but I have to pay for everything - food, clothing, gas, car insurance, et cetera. This I can do, but I cannot afford an undergraduate education on my own. What am I supposed to do from here on in? Should I take out student loans and apply for merit aid at a state school? I'm completely lost and need guidance.


Repeat after me: "Mom and Dad, you were right, I was wrong, and I still and will always love you."
How do I get back on good terms with my parents so that they might reconsider paying my tuition? Things have cooled down a bit since the argument. I think today might be a good day to have a discussion about what to do going forward.

Well, this is felony. Your dad is lucky he's not in jail.
And him almost breaking my nose wasn't out of line because he got angry?

Don't join the military for the money.
 
1-800-USA-ARMY


Welcome to the real world.
 
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I go to a top 50 school out-of-state that's expensive and I got a C in one of my summer classes (differential equations). I forget what the bill for this summer was, but it was high. He (my father) said that if I get another C, he won't pay my tuition. I told him that he was being ridiculous, as this is the only C grade I've ever received in college so far. We fought verbally back and forth until he said "F**k this. I'm not paying for you to go to college anymore. You don't study hard enough. All you do is goof off." I told him that I do not "goof off" and that this class was very difficult. We fought some more and he threw a punch at me and hit me in the nose. I told him to go f**k himself and never speak to me again.



Wow that was an ugly fight.

I was totally with your father until the punch part. Really? No shoving first? You didn't swing first?

As a father I can't imagine ever punching my kid in the face. Seriously.


Also, as someone who's parents were not in a position to help at all with paying for school (I had to rely on my rich uncle, Uncle Sam), I agree with the posters that recommend you think long and hard about how much your parents are doing for you. I plan on helping my kids with college, but if they go off to college and end up partying and getting C's, I plan on cutting off the funds.
 
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My gut reaction was to ask "are you sh*tting me?" I managed to keep it to myself.
You are a better person than I am. Although if they were genuine and not spoiled, I'd try not to be snarky but would probably have a million questions. Do you know how to pay bills? What about shopping for car insurance? Do you have to ask permission to go on a trip since it's not your money?

As much as I would have loved that my parents pay for anything past the age of 16, I guess I'm grateful they taught me skills I consider second nature by now.
 
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Don't join the military for the money.
No one joins the military for the money, you join it for the perks. Like free education, free healthcare, free-dom, and very low taxes.

EDIT: Forgot free housing.
 
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you could take out student loans or switch to a cheaper college (not sure where you live but in nyc, hunter is awesome for undergrad. awesome meaning biggest bang for your buck - science and math are universal regardless of which college you study them at). also, if i were a parent i would not cosign a loan. did you read about that girl who died in her 20s? her parents are stuck with 200k in loans. pops is a senior and he ain't gonna make it. don't assume that your parents are naive and don't realize the risk (not that you may die but you may flunk/drop out).

http://www.today.com/parents/after-...-forgiveness-her-200k-student-loan-1D79996678
 
I won't pay for my kid to get a C either...but I also won't punch them

try to make amends because they are your parents, but don't expect money to show up
 
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I would take out a loan, but that's just me. I've also had to use credit cards to cover some of my expenses, which has put me in some significant (not insurmountable, but significant) debt. It really sucks when you have to decide between working to pay your rent and light bill or getting an A in p-chem.

I would also try to resolve things with your parents. After all, you won't get a replacement set.
 
Well, I spoke with my parents and apologized for the fight and told them that I was the one being ridiculous. I reiterated that the class was difficult, but I could have maybe done a bit better. My father said that he overreacted, too, and was sobbing when he apologized for hitting me and that he, too, was out of line. We agreed that we were both out of line. He told me to try not to get any more Cs from now on, which I will try to do. I asked him if he would continue paying my tuition and he agreed to it. So, I don't need to join the army or apply for aid or transfer. I feel really blessed that my parents and I are back on good terms and that they will continue paying my tuition, barring the fact that I don't get too many more Cs on my transcript.
 
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