Hi Noeljan,
Everything I'm going to tell you is from my experience and in my opinion...
About kids and family... after residency you basically make your own hours, so it shouldn't be a problem. When it comes to applying and interviewing, sometimes there is some bias against people getting pregnant. So just don't address it - it's illegal for them to ask you about that. Still, they might, then it's up to you. Personally, I'd tell them what they want to hear, then do what you want when you're in the program.
Grades in medical school... mine were not super (some a little above average and some a little below) and I got a position. However, I had to get to know everyone and work my butt off on (neurosurgery) rotations. I'm talking first one there and last to leave, plus every weekend. Bottom line... to even get an interview you have to have great academics or have rotated there (and did a great job).
Focusing on a specialty... I did. But I was 100% for neurosurgery. I attended the national conferences and stuff every year. That really helped with networking. On the other hand, lots of people changed their minds over and over. So go with what works for you, there's really no right answer for this one.
Publications... anything helps, but they don't matter too much either way. I would suggest writing a paper for a resident or attending in the program you want. That's what I did. I'm not into research, so it was like selling my soul for a year, but it worked out. And about type of publication, neurosurgery > neuroscience > other science > fashion magazines
.
Intimidation... I know. You feel like who are you to speak with so-and-so. Some people will blow you off, but screw them. The ones worth getting to know will treat you well. It can't hurt to approach someone, go to their clinic, call, etc. My best advice though is to talk with residents (like this). They have the best and most current information. The attendings are often too far removed from what it was like to be a student trying to get a residency spot.
Anyway, I hope this helps. Please email with additional questions. If yo have a lot, I'll give my my number and we can talk it out.
Later,
-Jason
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