Personal Statement Samples

[PlaqueBuster]

Many of you are embarking on an exciting, maybe long and cumbersome, medical school application process for the 2015-2016 cycle. I wish all of you the best of luck and thought I can help with this link I came across as I was searching on google. This pdf document gives 8 sample essays and most of these are pretty good. They represent different styles of writing and different experieces. Many of you that are stuck on how to write can be inspired from some of these. BUT PLEASE DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Use them as starting points to see what good writing looks like and what not to include in your own personal statements.

http://www.healthdiversity.pitt.edu/students-faculty/documents/snmapersonalstatementsvol2_2_.pdf

Hope this helps.

My favorites are sample 1 and sample 6.

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[dvoynik]

I'm a little surprised at the quality of these essays. Are they supposed to serve as a model for what constitutes good writing? They all seem to display a clichéd idea of "service" and there is a great deal of "listing experiences".

I would also add that I found the first essay particularly dreadful and chock-full of platitudes. Not only does it employ a very uncomfortable syntax (eg. Illness marks a point in many people’s lives where they are most vulnerable, thus making a patient’s faith and health care providers vital to their healing process.) the underlying theme (balance) is incredibly broad and doesn't exactly reflect deep contemplation. Did it really take an asthma attack for him to realize that a work/life balance is important?

 

[burntheblobs]

I'm Not an expert on personal statements, but I actually found essays 1 and 6 to be pretty bad. Number 1 doesn't seem to answer the prompt of "why medicine" at all, and number 6 seems to ignore it until the very end. Number 6 is also a difficult read due to the grammar/word choices used. I would hate the author if it was my 30th personal statement to read of the day. The others seemed pretty okay. Different strokes I guess.

 

[DrHart]

mmm i've read through these before. wasn't particularly impressed. from essay 1:
"My pursuit to blend the roles of science and religion formulate my firm belief that health care providers are caretakers of God’s children and have a responsibility to all of humanity."
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I'd agree that 1 and 6 are probably the best-written but none of the essays really jump out at me. just an opinion though

 

[ridethecliche]

mmm i've read through these before. wasn't particularly impressed. from essay 1:
"My pursuit to blend the roles of science and religion formulate my firm belief that health care providers are caretakers of God’s children and have a responsibility to all of humanity."
=
I'd agree that 1 and 6 are probably the best-written but none of the essays really jump out at me. just an opinion though

Burn it with fire!

 

[futuredoc331]

I've read these as well and feel they are too dramatized. Do most people write their essays like some kind of novel?

 

[Pacna]

I've read these as well and feel they are too dramatized. Do most people write their essays like some kind of novel?

Yes, and you should as well, though I agree not to that extent. Write it as if you're the protagonist, have a conflict, overcome it, and have a resolution. Making a single-spaced page stomach-able after the reader has read many before yours is a challenge. Writing it like a story isn't a bad way to mitigate that.

 

[PlaqueBuster]

I only recommended these for people to take a look. I am sure everyone has their own preference on writing styles. But I think for so long people are used to writing five paragraph essays and the ones I have been reading almost read like high school writing. Also, I personally believe that a medical school personal statement first should tell us something interesting about you then answer why medicine. It is very boring if the entire focus is on "why medicine" and it is structured with 3 activities as evidence.