Personal Statement

[the_fella]

I just wanted to provide a brief outline of my PS and get your opinions on it:

* Why I want to be a physician. Here, I tell a brief story related to why I decided to go into medicine.
* Background concerning the fact that I grew up in Appalachia and how lack of access to healthcare has affected the region. That I want to practice there after residency
*Background specifically concerning me. 1st person in my family to attend high school., First to go to grad school. Explanation of my change of major and why I went to grad school. The experience of grad school has helped me grow as a person, etc.
*Drawing the ADCOM's attention to the Cs I got in Ochem and pointing out that I am a lab tech for the freshmen and organic labs at my university (have been for about 3 years) and I have learned much more there than when I was taking classes. Also pointed out a D and F I got in two other courses and essentially accepted full blame for that and said that from those experiences I have learned "what not to do."

This all comes to 3670 characters (of 5300 allowed).

So does anyone have any suggestions as to what else I might say or anything I have said that I shouldn't have? Any advice at all would be helpful.

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[TheRhymenocerous]

I was told by my pre-med advisor that the personal statement should be more to show who you are, rather than explain why you want to go into medicine. They all have your transcript and resume, so walking them through your background doesn't add a whole lot to the application. This is just my advisor, so who knows if this is what other people would say, but I strongly got the impression that you should steer clear of "telling" why you want to be a doctor and try harder to "show" why through experiences. It'll be much more readable if you spend more time telling a story rather than explaining things.

Also, my opinion would be that this isn't the place to talk about bad grades, unless there's some sort of interesting story that explains it. It seems to me that it would be more beneficial to write a compelling, interesting essay that shows your good qualities rather than drawing attention to your weaknesses. An essay won't save you if your bad grades are going to be dealbreakers for a particular school, and for schools that are still interested, they can ask in interview.

 

[hoihaie]

don't explain your grades in your personal statement

 

[the_fella]

Good suggestions. I'll incorporate these later when I get off work.

 

[Heplayer92]

I just wanted to provide a brief outline of my PS and get your opinions on it:

* Why I want to be a physician. Here, I tell a brief story related to why I decided to go into medicine.
* Background concerning the fact that I grew up in Appalachia and how lack of access to healthcare has affected the region. That I want to practice there after residency
*Background specifically concerning me. 1st person in my family to attend high school., First to go to grad school. Explanation of my change of major and why I went to grad school. The experience of grad school has helped me grow as a person, etc.
*Drawing the ADCOM's attention to the Cs I got in Ochem and pointing out that I am a lab tech for the freshmen and organic labs at my university (have been for about 3 years) and I have learned much more there than when I was taking classes. Also pointed out a D and F I got in two other courses and essentially accepted full blame for that and said that from those experiences I have learned "what not to do."

This all comes to 3670 characters (of 5300 allowed).

So does anyone have any suggestions as to what else I might say or anything I have said that I shouldn't have? Any advice at all would be helpful.

You have a good story. As a fellow first-gen, I can tell you that it has definitely helped me out this cycle, especially with very average numbers. I would focus on your background, tell a story or two, how it has impacted you. I've read that adcoms like to read stories =D. Also, your PS isn't a place to address your grades. There are secondary essays that you can talk about there.

Since it's October and you're already working on your PS, I assume that you have a bit of time on your hands/like early preparation. In that sense, it might be wise to look through some of the secondary prompts for the schools that you want to apply to (in school-specific threads on SDN).

The wanting to practice in Appalachia after residency is questionable. If you put that in your PS, that means you should probably target schools that have a rural focus, or within the region of Appalachia. This makes it difficult for other schools to accept you, especially out-of-state public schools because they want out-of-state individuals who would eventually practice medicine in the state. It's up to you though. I think it's awesome that you want to go back and practice medicine there, and I hope you find the right medical school for you! Good luck!

 

[Holmwood]

*Snip*

And as others have said, focus on showing what kind of person you are. If you must describe life experiences, make sure you write an analysis sentence or two that redirects the reader to what kind of person you are. Even when you're reasoning out your thought process for becoming a physician, always focus on showing your character and personality. Never leave anything implied; be exact and thorough. And try not to do the storytelling as that tends to be very third-person, and try not to list. Lastly, you can effectively cut down 2-3 paragraphs of details into a sentence or two.

For grad school, you can talk about it in your "most meaningful experiences" section in AMCAS. You don't have to put it in the personal statement.

For the grades, leave it out of the personal statement. It's pretty irrelevant to the personal statement, unless you want to show that you're neurotic about grades (which isn't beneficial, mind you). There's a section on secondaries that gives you room to explain grade mishaps, as well as the circumstances that surround those mishaps.

And retake any courses you have done poorly on. Please and thank you with extra sprinkles on top.

 

[PlaqueBuster]

if you want me to look over it, i can really give you specific advice because most of the time its the writing not the ideas. if its too personal then its fine. I have already applied to schools so do not worry, I won't be stealing ideas. Here to help if you need it

 

[TxC]

Find people to read it and give you feedback.

 

[PlaqueBuster]

But to give you some general advice: a personal statement should focus on a theme. My theme was: how my activities (research and foreign medical clinic trip) have enforced my inclination towards medicine into a career in medicine. You do not want it tos ound like a resume and also you do not to include multiple ideas that just do not flow together. I feel like you may be running into that trouble with the various things you mentioned

 

[Goro]

I have found that any attempt to explain poor performance comes off as excuse making.

The PS should be "why you should invite me to for an interview." (kudos to the wise gyngyn.)

 

[LizzyM]

You could compare and contrast your experience in Appalachia with the health problems you see here in the States, with special emphasis on medical disparities being a global issue. : /

Stating that you will want to return to Appalachia to serve the community there exclusively could be a problem, although mentioning that you would like to do mission trips there in the future seems to be okay. The reasoning I've heard is that there's already a problem of not having enough seats (both med school and residency) available for US students who want to serve the people here in the US. People are going to be even more reluctant giving away highly coveted seats to those who ultimately won't even want to serve in the US. That is partially the reason why very few foreign students matriculate in US medial schools, and those students tend to be quite exceptional. Correct me if I'm wrong.

You are wrong. Appalachia is a portion of the eastern United States.

http://theweek.com/article/index/255505/appalachia-the-big-white-ghetto

^that's what we get for dropping geography from the K-12 curriculum in America.


OP, don't discuss your grades. The work you've done as a TA will be in the experience section. Instead, tell us stories of the people you know who have suffered because of a lack of access to health care, or who have made a recovery due to exceptional effort. Don't fall into hero-worship of health providers you know but it is ok to say that Dr. ___ is a role model and someone you would like to emulate when you have completed your training. You could structure it as a story about what hasn't worked based on your experience living in that area, then a story about something that has worked and how this has inspired you to accept the challenge of becoming a physician who will serve the people of that area. Then a story about how you have tested the waters and determined that this is the right career for you. (Shadowing, courses in the sciences, scientific research, employment or volunteering that was in a service role).

 

[Holmwood]

You are wrong. Appalachia is a portion of the eastern United States.

http://theweek.com/article/index/255505/appalachia-the-big-white-ghetto

^that's what we get for dropping geography from the K-12 curriculum in America.


OP, don't discuss your grades. The work you've done as a TA will be in the experience section. Instead, tell us stories of the people you know who have suffered because of a lack of access to health care, or who have made a recovery due to exceptional effort. Don't fall into hero-worship of health providers you know but it is ok to say that Dr. ___ is a role model and someone you would like to emulate when you have completed your training. You could structure it as a story about what hasn't worked based on your experience living in that area, then a story about something that has worked and how this has inspired you to accept the challenge of becoming a physician who will serve the people of that area. Then a story about how you have tested the waters and determined that this is the right career for you. (Shadowing, courses in the sciences, scientific research, employment or volunteering that was in a service role).

Off topic: LOL. Thank you for clarifying that LizzyM. It surely is a problem that we dropped geography from the curriculum.

On topic:
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/official-personal-statement-reader-list-2014-2015.1077055/

Try your luck over there.

 

[the_fella]

And retake any courses you have done poorly on.

Should I pay for that with some of my gold bars or a couple of bags of uncut diamonds?

 

[baxt1412]

Should I pay for that with some of my gold bars or a couple of bags of uncut diamonds?

they were trying to give you advice.. they were trying to HELP YOU. stop being so rude. none of us know your financial situation.

 

[PlaqueBuster]

Should I pay for that with some of my gold bars or a couple of bags of uncut diamonds?

It is the reality. If you have poor grades you have to retake those classes to be competitive. If you cannot afford them, then how can you afford medical school? especially if you do poorly in medical school classes you will be expelled and lose that tuition you paid. So, unless you can show them you are mature and dedicated towards bringing your grades up, they may not consider your application (especially since sGPA is critical). My suggestion is if your sGPA is under 3.25, then retake classes or think of another career. A PS is not the most important thing in your application. Its you GPA (sgpa), MCAT, and LOR

 

[Holmwood]

Should I pay for that with some of my gold bars or a couple of bags of uncut diamonds?

I understand that you're upset with me, but that's fine. They sure do cost alot, especially if you've already graduated and are planning to take them open-university.

All I know is that if those failed courses are pre-med requirements, it is unacceptable. Mostly because you can't even fulfill the requirement unless you have a C or greater. : P

If they are not pre-med requirements, you may not need to retake it... but that's still debatable. As these mishaps tend to drag your whole grade down, many applicants consider retaking these courses or taking an upper-division course in the same area to boost their GPA and show that they are capable of doing well.

If your GPA is already competitive, then I wouldn't worry too much about the ochem. Cs aren't going to kill your application as much as you think, so long as you are consistently doing well in your other areas.... probably. The only sources I have are pre-med advisors and AMCAS anecdotes.

Any reasons for poor academic performance can be explained in the secondaries, so I second LizzyM's input. You should save your personal statement for something other than explaining your academic performance.

Lastly, the decision to take upper-division science courses to make up for a low sGPA should be discussed with an adviser since they would know your academic record better than we do. All I know is that people who've done poorly in the sciences during undergrad completed a special master's program to take upper-division science courses and prove they can handle the sciences. That is AN OPTION, and that certainly isn't the only one.

 

[Goro]

Work for a few years, bone up on the ECs, and then go back to school to demonstrate that you can handle a medical school curriculum. CC coursework will be OK.

Should I pay for that with some of my gold bars or a couple of bags of uncut diamonds?

 

[Meerkatology]

I was generally told to focus on the positives in these kind of things. Spending your personal statement talking ("making excuses") about bad grades might not be the most efficient use of this opportunity? And doesn't present yourself in a good light. It's like a teacher trying to break up 2 kids from fighting, the teacher doesn't care why or who started it, they just want it to stop so the class can move on to more productive things.

If they care about your C/D/F's they can ask during the interview. PS is a place for all the great things about you, not make excuses about your failures. Adcoms deal with grades, scores all day long, if I was an adcom that's the last thing I want to read in someone's PS. If you don't have anything particularly interesting to write, you can at least keep it positive and leave the reader in a good mood.