Planning a family and working in pharmacy

[magnetic]

I'm a 27 year-old woman who's trying to weasel her way into pharm school, and would like to have a kid within the next couple of years. I am anticipating a few tries at getting in to p-school, and if I'm just waiting around sucking up my husband's money for a couple of years, I may as well get in some quality time with a baby. I would like to work full-time after having kids eventually (but not immediately) - and my spouse isn't an option for at-home care, since his income may be the most dependable (as an attorney). I get the impression that pharmacy is a pretty flexible profession. A few more details on what I'm hoping will happen: I get pregnant in about July, have a kid the next Spring, and apply to my desired school. If that doesn't bear fruit, I'll stick around with the fruit I bore and depend on my spouse's income (maybe get some part-time work, who knows?) until I can apply again. Having a toddler while in p-school surely must be challenging in a household where both parents are occupied full-time. The lag-time would allow me a little time for nursing and mommying, and the kid would be in school by the time I was out of it.

Anyone have any advice? Or want to share their own strategy for having a family and a job?

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[wes011]

I'm a 27 year-old woman who's trying to weasel her way into pharm school, and would like to have a kid within the next couple of years. I am anticipating a few tries at getting in to p-school, and if I'm just waiting around sucking up my husband's money for a couple of years, I may as well get in some quality time with a baby. I would like to work full-time after having kids eventually (but not immediately) - and my spouse isn't an option for at-home care, since his income may be the most dependable (as an attorney). I get the impression that pharmacy is a pretty flexible profession. A few more details on what I'm hoping will happen: I get pregnant in about July, have a kid the next Spring, and apply to my desired school. If that doesn't bear fruit, I'll stick around with the fruit I bore and depend on my spouse's income (maybe get some part-time work, who knows?) until I can apply again. Having a toddler while in p-school surely must be challenging in a household where both parents are occupied full-time. The lag-time would allow me a little time for nursing and mommying, and the kid would be in school by the time I was out of it.

Anyone have any advice? Or want to share their own strategy for having a family and a job?

I am turning 31 this Saturday and will be starting pharmacy school in July. I am married with a 2-year old son. I want more kids, however, there is no way I will consider it till I am almost done with school. My advice, sit around and suck up your husband's money, get a dog and enjoy life till you are near done with pharmacy school.

 

[magnetic]

The reason I feel it's kind of urgent is that I don't want to delay having kids too long by saying "Oh, but my CAREER." I'd like it to just be a given that I'm going to have a rugrat or two around. Does anyone know much about discrimination against mothers and women of childbearing age in this profession? Like getting passed over for promotions, or "reduced" schedules not actually being reduced? I know most professions are rank with it. Even, or maybe especially, female-heavy ones. The only female professors I've had were childless and I don't think it's a coincidence.

 

[delano2000]

No kids for me until I am around 30 (9 more years to go), by then I should be completely done with school and residency and already working xf.

 

[wes011]

The reason I feel it's kind of urgent is that I don't want to delay having kids too long by saying "Oh, but my CAREER." I'd like it to just be a given that I'm going to have a rugrat or two around. Does anyone know much about discrimination against mothers and women of childbearing age in this profession? Like getting passed over for promotions, or "reduced" schedules not actually being reduced? I know most professions are rank with it. Even, or maybe especially, female-heavy ones. The only female professors I've had were childless and I don't think it's a coincidence.

From my understanding, females dominate pharmacy. You can earn a great wage and work a flex schedule so you have that work/life balance. Keep in mind pharmacy school is tough and you never know how your kids will turn out, if they are healthy or if they have colic or whatever.....so you might be devoting more time to your kids than you think you will have to while in pharmacy school.

Believe me, I understand what you are talking about.

 

[wes011]

No kids for me until I am around 30 (9 more years to go), by then I should be completely done with school and residency and already working xf.

That's a good plan Delano. I was 28 when AJ was born, your life changes a lot but I wouldn't trade that kid for anything in the world. They are totally worth it but make sure you are ready for that commitment because it is a lot of reseponsibility. If you can wait so that your education is complete and already working, even better.

 

[delano2000]

That's a good plan Delano. I was 28 when AJ was born, your life changes a lot but I wouldn't trade that kid for anything in the world. They are totally worth it but make sure you are ready for that commitment because it is a lot of reseponsibility. If you can wait so that your education is complete and already working, even better.

That is the plan. I just could not support a kid right now so I won't even go down that road right now.

Oh and that is my brother's name...

 

[pharmtechgirl26]

I'm a 27 year-old woman who's trying to weasel her way into pharm school, and would like to have a kid within the next couple of years. I am anticipating a few tries at getting in to p-school, and if I'm just waiting around sucking up my husband's money for a couple of years, I may as well get in some quality time with a baby. I would like to work full-time after having kids eventually (but not immediately) - and my spouse isn't an option for at-home care, since his income may be the most dependable (as an attorney). I get the impression that pharmacy is a pretty flexible profession. A few more details on what I'm hoping will happen: I get pregnant in about July, have a kid the next Spring, and apply to my desired school. If that doesn't bear fruit, I'll stick around with the fruit I bore and depend on my spouse's income (maybe get some part-time work, who knows?) until I can apply again. Having a toddler while in p-school surely must be challenging in a household where both parents are occupied full-time. The lag-time would allow me a little time for nursing and mommying, and the kid would be in school by the time I was out of it.

Anyone have any advice? Or want to share their own strategy for having a family and a job?

You have to just do what is best for you, and don't worry too much about what anyone else thinks. I'm 27 and a P1 in pharmacy school, and my husband and I are planning on starting a family pretty soon. I don't really care what anyone else thinks about it. I know that I can make the most out of school and still raise a child right. You just have to know your own limits.

 

[wes011]

You have to just do what is best for you, and don't worry too much about what anyone else thinks. I'm 27 and a P1 in pharmacy school, and my husband and I are planning on starting a family pretty soon. I don't really care what anyone else thinks about it. I know that I can make the most out of school and still raise a child right. You just have to know your own limits.

You make a very good point.

 

[SmKN808]

From my understanding, females dominate pharmacy. You can earn a great wage and work a flex schedule so you have that work/life balance. Keep in mind pharmacy school is tough and you never know how your kids will turn out, if they are healthy or if they have colic or whatever.....so you might be devoting more time to your kids than you think you will have to while in pharmacy school.

Believe me, I understand what you are talking about.

i agree... i mean, what if you end up getting tripletts instead??? YEAH... imagine that reality on TOP of pharmacy school? no, i'm not saying it's "impossible". but, WHY put sooo much stress on yourself, you know? because in the end[who knows?], whether you like it or not. you may very well be taking on more than you can chew but, i dunno... just my 2 cents though, what ever you do decide, i wish nothing but the very best good luck!...

so, have you guys thought of any names yet[boy/girl]?

 

[tm79602]

I am 24 years old with a 3 year old son. My husband is in the military and it was hard raising a child with both my husband and I in the air force. Now, I am going to school to finish my prereqs for pharmacy school. I applied to UMKC because it is where my mom and sister lives. I will have it easy in pharmacy school (if I get accepted), beacuse my mom is going to take care of everything financially for me and my family. She just wants my husband and I to concentrate on pharmacy and dentistry school. My mother is a CRNA, so she has the means to support us. I am very lucky to have a mom who is willing to do that and help me out with my child while I go to school. I am waiting to have more children once I become a pharmacist and my husband is far along in dentistry school. I have love for all of the mommies who are going for their goals and dreams. Do not give up!!! Good luck to everyone!!!

 

[TXPharmDStudent]

The reason I feel it's kind of urgent is that I don't want to delay having kids too long by saying "Oh, but my CAREER." I'd like it to just be a given that I'm going to have a rugrat or two around. Does anyone know much about discrimination against mothers and women of childbearing age in this profession? Like getting passed over for promotions, or "reduced" schedules not actually being reduced? I know most professions are rank with it. Even, or maybe especially, female-heavy ones. The only female professors I've had were childless and I don't think it's a coincidence.

It's legal, that's about it.



I don't plan on having kids until I can afford it. I can't afford it now and won't be able to afford it until awhile after I graduate.

 

[phathead]

My wife is pushing to have a kid in a year or so (we just got married this past July), but I can't get her to understand that I want to wait until I'm almost done with pharm school. It wouldn't be fair to the kid or my schooling to have to divvy up my time like that.

 

[busyizzy]

My wife is pushing to have a kid in a year or so (we just got married this past July), but I can't get her to understand that I want to wait until I'm almost done with pharm school. It wouldn't be fair to the kid or my schooling to have to divvy up my time like that.

Biological clock goes tick tock tick tock....

 

[desmoulins45179]

Biological clock goes tick tock tick tock....

People can have kids in their late 30's and early 40's. So unless said poster is already in their late 30's I'm sure biologically they could wait for a few years.

 

[UES Girl]

Having nearly finished my first quarter as a pharmacy student I would say advise strongly against having children.

Honestly, I really want to get a cat or a dog, but realistically knowing our schedule now, I don't have time for either. I can't imagine you having time to actually have a child and raise the child well most importantly.

For once, imagine yourself taking 7-9 intense classes per quarter. Then add on a fact that you will have to do IPPEs. Then add on all the mandatory meetings and required seminars you have to attend. Then add on volunteer activities you may wish to participate in. Then add on participation in any clubs/groups you have joined. Where will you find time ?

Suppose you decide to pursue residency or a fellowship pafterwards, then grades are still important. So you still have to study and worry about your GPA in pharmacy school, it won't be any less competitive than undergrad.

 

[UES Girl]

My wife is pushing to have a kid in a year or so (we just got married this past July), but I can't get her to understand that I want to wait until I'm almost done with pharm school. It wouldn't be fair to the kid or my schooling to have to divvy up my time like that.

Tell her simply she will realistically be most likely doing most if not all of the parenting. Then ask her if she still wants to have a child.

 

[phathead]

People can have kids in their late 30's and early 40's. So unless said poster is already in their late 30's I'm sure biologically they could wait for a few years.

I'm 24, she's 23

Tell her simply she will realistically be most likely doing most if not all of the parenting. Then ask her if she still wants to have a child.

Knowing her, I'd be getting the guilt trip like a mofo for the next four years lol

 

[TXPharmDStudent]

I'm 24, she's 23



Knowing her, I'd be getting the guilt trip like a mofo for the next four years lol

What the heck dude, her biological clock still has a lot of time left. Why rush into something like this?


But don't worry, if a woman wants a baby then she'll have one. Get ready for skipping bc pills and holes poked in your condoms.

 

[Passion4Sci]

What the heck dude, her biological clock still has a lot of time left. Why rush into something like this?


But don't worry, if a woman wants a baby then she'll have one. Get ready for skipping bc pills and holes poked in your condoms.

Grind the pills up every morning in her breakfast.

It's worked for me for years so far!

 

[longhornatheart]

This thread caught my eye as I'm female, 27, engaged and will be applying to Pharmacy School next year. My fiancee wants to have kids before I'm done with school, but I don't really see how it's feasible for me to be the mom and student I'd want to be. I'm interested in critical care and emergency med so will definitely need to keep my grades up to get into the competitive residency programs. Even right now with pre-req courses and working, I don't feel like I have enough time for everything.

I had talked to several older female co-workers concerning this topic in the past before I made the decision to enroll back in school full-time and most women told me I'll regret waiting to have kids until I'm older (currently I'm thinking 35). It's not guaranteed that I'll be able to have a child, and if I do I won't have as much energy as when I'm younger. Even if I do have a child, I may not be able to have another one. Also, I'll be older once I retire and still perhaps be supporting my children through college. Basically, I still feel conflicted on what the best choice is and I'm hoping the answer will become clear as I dive deeper into school and more time passes.

 

[phathead]

What the heck dude, her biological clock still has a lot of time left. Why rush into something like this?


But don't worry, if a woman wants a baby then she'll have one. Get ready for skipping bc pills and holes poked in your condoms.

That's what I said! Plus I've been bustin' my behind for the last five years... I'd like to have at least a little time to relax at some point

 

[IrishRxMan]

I know a few women that have had kids while in pharmacy school and came back to finish. It all depends on the support system you have at home. Do you live close enough to the grandparents so they could watch your kid(s) while you are in class and studying? As for flexibility in work or being forced to work more shifts than you want to handle, you pretty much can work when you want. There are plenty of women that work only part time because they want to stay home more with their kids so they don't grow up in daycare. If you think you can do it, go for it.

 

[delano2000]

Grind the pills up every morning in her breakfast.

It's worked for me for years so far!

OMG!!!! P4Sci...do you really do that?

 

[Passion4Sci]

OMG!!!! P4Sci...do you really do that?

No, not at all... My wife and I agreed that there will be no children ever. It was a component of my marriage proposal and she is as equally opposed to children as I am (Wanting to be on the partner track of a law firm typically does that).

But it'd be a great idea, wouldn't it!?

 

[delano2000]

No, not at all... My wife and I agreed that there will be no children ever. It was a component of my marriage proposal and she is as equally opposed to children as I am (Wanting to be on the partner track of a law firm typically does that).

But it'd be a great idea, wouldn't it!?

That would be f'd up to do that. Well at least the decision was mutual.

 

[diastole]

I don't think it is that tough. I know lots of people in pharmacy school with children and we manage. You might not get to spend as much time as you want either studying or spending it with the kids but you find a way to get what you need done. If you want kids and don't want to wait, go for it. You might be pretty tired at times and maybe a bit grumpy but you will get through it.

 

[Passion4Sci]

That would be f'd up to do that. Well at least the decision was mutual.

Yeah, way less f'd up than lying about taking the pills properly or punching holes in condoms!

And yes, the decision was very mutual. When she's 25, she's having a tubal ligation.

 

[danisaur]

As people already said before, it's all about your support system and knowing your abilities.

My sister had 2 children while in pharmacy school away from home (we're from VA and she went to Temple in Philly). Her husband had just finished dental school when she started around 26 years old. I think they hired a nanny for certain times when neither of them could be there. I know that is not the ideal situation, but if you know that you're going to have a difficult time with the course load alone, then this might be your only choice if you decide to have a child. Being a full time pharmacist now, she has much more time with her kids, only working 3 or 4 days a week.

Also, I feel like you should take into consideration the toll that pregnancy takes on you physically. If you can handle all that, you can handle anything your kids throw at you. More power to super moms!

I'm 21, and my longterm boyfriend is 22 now. We planned on getting engaged no earlier than our 3rd year. I'm kind of hestitant still since he'll have debts from dental school, and my pharmacy school debt! But I don't wait to have kids too late either! It's not just my biological clock, but it's that I don't want to be too much older than my kids, I want to be able to keep up with them later!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

 

[SmKN808]

Also, I feel like you should take into consideration the toll that pregnancy takes on you physically. If you can handle all that, you can handle anything your kids throw at you. More power to super moms!

+1...

 

[busyizzy]

People can have kids in their late 30's and early 40's. So unless said poster is already in their late 30's I'm sure biologically they could wait for a few years.

But would you?

People CAN have kids at a late age. Doesn't mean people WANT to. If you're 40 and you have a kid, you'll be 60 when they go to college. Not to mention, that's a huge strain on your body at 40 years old. Not something I'd want to go through. Not to mention, after 35, the risks of having a kid with disabilities or diseases increases exponentially.

Of course, I wouldn't want kids when in school either. I couldn't handle it. And yeah, if she's 23, she's got plenty of time, especially if she got the "hard" part over with (ie. finding the right man!).

 

[sasmw2]

I have two children (27 months and 9 months old) and they ARE the reason I am applying for the Fall 2010 cycle. Working after my BS degree for 3 years in the pharmaceutical industry was just not my dream... I always wanted to become a pharmacist and I want to show my children that you can really do something if you put your mind to it. With that said, my husband and I picked out about 12 schools that seemed like a place we would be willing to relocate too. If accepted, I will treat pharmacy school like it is a full time job, and the kids will be in daycare. And they won't need to be in daycare that long during the day (compared to actually working) because some classes won't last all day. I plan on studying in the evenings after they are in bed and on the weekends a little bit while my husband can watch them.

Wanting children was MY FIRST goal.... I wanted them and nothing was going to stop me. If you really want children you will make it work. No excuses. If someone says they want to be financially ready - they will never be.... and they are just going to delay having children. Which also increases risks for the mother. Good luck to whatever you decide.

 

[rxlynn]

...
For once, imagine yourself taking 7-9 intense classes per quarter. Then add on a fact that you will have to do IPPEs. Then add on all the mandatory meetings and required seminars you have to attend. Then add on volunteer activities you may wish to participate in. Then add on participation in any clubs/groups you have joined. Where will you find time ?

Suppose you decide to pursue residency or a fellowship pafterwards, then grades are still important. So you still have to study and worry about your GPA in pharmacy school, it won't be any less competitive than undergrad.

I (and quite a few of my classmates) have children and have managed to make it through pharmacy school just fine. However, I think that cheburashka makes a very important point - one that I didn't truly appreciate when I started school. I really think that having a child or children may end up limiting your options when you exit pharmacy school. As it turns out, I have the grades to do it and the interest in a residency, but I have made the decision not to pursue one because I don't think it would be good for my marriage and it would involve moving my entire family for a year and thus having to move the children in school at least twice. If it was just me - I would be looking for a residency program right now.

I also think that how doable or not pharmacy school is may be dependent on how comfortable you and your spouse are with leaving your child in daycare for long amounts of time. My two have been in some sort of daycare since they were very young, but we made the decision early on that we would not live and work in a way that meant they would be there 40 or 50 or more hours a week. My school schedule allowed me to flex somewhat so they didn't spend a lot of time in after-school care these past few years - a residency, from what I can tell, would be an entirely different ball game in terms of the amount of time I spent away from home. So, be sure to assess the class schedules of your chosen schools carefully.

 

[wes011]

Yeah, way less f'd up than lying about taking the pills properly or punching holes in condoms!

And yes, the decision was very mutual. When she's 25, she's having a tubal ligation.

Wow...mutual indeed.

To each their own. I want kids, lots of them....but that is just me.

Funny how people will change their views on when they want or don't want kids.

My wife was on partner track at a top 4 accounting firm. In fact, she left because we needed more money with me going back to school....and they told her she'd have it in 6-7 years if she stayed. Here's the problem. She worked like a dog and since she was on the healthcare side hospitals state financials twice a year instead of once a year. So she was working 80+ hours per week January to April and then 60+ hours per week from July to September. It was tempting for her to stick around because she would have been the first female partner from Louisville, KY in their firm....which to her was enticing. In the end, the $400K starting partner salary wasn't worth her continuing her crazy travel schedule. Keep in mind this is a woman that was ready to go back to work 6 weeks after having our son and having to stay home the other 6 weeks nearly drove her completely crazy. And now......she craves that work life balance is happy with her salary and working 40 hour weeks....55 hour weeks at the end of QTRs. And now she wants more kids...

Kids are on hold because AJ always had problems. From his allergies to needing to wear a helmet because of the head flattening problem, to having pig flu, asthma, etc.....

The partner track was her dream but her outlook changed once she was a mother. If they told her she'd have it before I decided to go back to school maybe I'd just work 6-7 more years and then buy my Porsche and pick up some stupid game like golf. Now I am going back to school because I am finally living my dream that I gave up for her to be happy in part so she can work a flexible schedule so she can be happy.....funny how things work.

 

[sunflower85]

magnetic,
I read your post last night at work where, for some reason I can read this site but cannot post a reply. So, I've been thinking about you all night.

My advice is to figure out your priorities. I am 38 and was a stay at home mom for 10 years. A year ago, my youngest went to school all day and I jumped back in to take my prereqs (fortunately didn't need very many) and am applying to pharm school (have an interview on Friday!).

I've always loved the saying that "I can do it all...just not all at the same time." When kids are little, they need and deserve your time. Pharm school will also demand and require much time. I'm not saying that both cant be done concurrently, but neither will get the attention they deserve and you will be strung out.

It doesn't sound like you need to earn a living to survive. Maybe you are a workaholic like me and cant just sit around baking cookies while the kids are at school. I was satisfies as an SAHM (but was always involved in groups, classes, whatever to keep my brain busy, too). But the moment the went off to school, I jumped back into "what I want to be when I grow up". You may be thinking that you will be at a disadvantage if you wait till you are older to start, but in this field, I don't think so. On the other hand, if you wait until later to have kids, you face other risks, the least of which is being confused for your child's grandparent at graduation! We are so glad we had kids when we were younger so I could be at home with them, then when they had some years on them, we could go on vacations, back to school, whatever.

You will make the right decision for you and your family. Just don't feel like pharmacy is now or never. You have lots of time. pm me if you want to talk more privately.

 

[wes011]

I have two children (27 months and 9 months old) and they ARE the reason I am applying for the Fall 2010 cycle. Working after my BS degree for 3 years in the pharmaceutical industry was just not my dream... I always wanted to become a pharmacist and I want to show my children that you can really do something if you put your mind to it. With that said, my husband and I picked out about 12 schools that seemed like a place we would be willing to relocate too. If accepted, I will treat pharmacy school like it is a full time job, and the kids will be in daycare. And they won't need to be in daycare that long during the day (compared to actually working) because some classes won't last all day. I plan on studying in the evenings after they are in bed and on the weekends a little bit while my husband can watch them.

Wanting children was MY FIRST goal.... I wanted them and nothing was going to stop me. If you really want children you will make it work. No excuses. If someone says they want to be financially ready - they will never be.... and they are just going to delay having children. Which also increases risks for the mother. Good luck to whatever you decide.

Words of wisdom right there. Very good points from top to bottom. I know that is just your situation you are sharing but being a father I can relate.

 

[Passion4Sci]

Wow...mutual indeed.

To each their own. I want kids, lots of them....but that is just me.

Funny how people will change their views on when they want or don't want kids.

My wife was on partner track at a top 4 accounting firm. In fact, she left because we needed more money with me going back to school....and they told her she'd have it in 6-7 years if she stayed. Here's the problem. She worked like a dog and since she was on the healthcare side hospitals state financials twice a year instead of once a year. So she was working 80+ hours per week January to April and then 60+ hours per week from July to September. It was tempting for her to stick around because she would have been the first female partner from Louisville, KY in their firm....which to her was enticing. In the end, the $400K starting partner salary wasn't worth her continuing her crazy travel schedule. Keep in mind this is a woman that was ready to go back to work 6 weeks after having our son and having to stay home the other 6 weeks nearly drove her completely crazy. And now......she craves that work life balance is happy with her salary and working 40 hour weeks....55 hour weeks at the end of QTRs. And now she wants more kids...

Kids are on hold because AJ always had problems. From his allergies to needing to wear a helmet because of the head flattening problem, to having pig flu, asthma, etc.....

The partner track was her dream but her outlook changed once she was a mother. If they told her she'd have it before I decided to go back to school maybe I'd just work 6-7 more years and then buy my Porsche and pick up some stupid game like golf. Now I am going back to school because I am finally living my dream that I gave up for her to be happy in part so she can work a flexible schedule so she can be happy.....funny how things work.

You see, your mistake is in bold. Had you not let her become a mother, you wouldn't be in predicament you're in

I respect people obeying the laws of nature telling them to procreate like bunnies. My wife and I just have a different outlook on it. We're both too selfish for children. If we want to hop a plane to Fiji, we don't want to have to worry about a kid's sitter, school, whatever. No worrying about whether she will get knocked up at 12 or whether he will bring a gun to school. Dogs give you the same "aww, so cute and cuddly!" feeling, without all the other crap. No buying the latest trends, no dealing with "YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE" emo teenager shenanigans.

A much simpler, more fun, life. Just our opinion!

 

[wes011]

You see, your mistake is in bold. Had you not let her become a mother, you wouldn't be in predicament you're in

I respect people obeying the laws of nature telling them to procreate like bunnies. My wife and I just have a different outlook on it. We're both too selfish for children. If we want to hop a plane to Fiji, we don't want to have to worry about a kid's sitter, school, whatever. No worrying about whether she will get knocked up at 12 or whether he will bring a gun to school. Dogs give you the same "aww, so cute and cuddly!" feeling, without all the other crap. No buying the latest trends, no dealing with "YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE" emo teenager shenanigans.

A much simpler, more fun, life. Just our opinion!

That's great. Classic.

 

[delano2000]

Yeah, way less f'd up than lying about taking the pills properly or punching holes in condoms!

And yes, the decision was very mutual. When she's 25, she's having a tubal ligation.

Well that's true because some people are very vindictive.

 

[Passion4Sci]

Well that's true because some people are very vindictive.

Yes, very, especially women when it comes to reproduction.

 

[Tinkerbell22]

This thread caught my eye as I'm female, 27, engaged and will be applying to Pharmacy School next year. My fiancee wants to have kids before I'm done with school, but I don't really see how it's feasible for me to be the mom and student I'd want to be. I'm interested in critical care and emergency med so will definitely need to keep my grades up to get into the competitive residency programs. Even right now with pre-req courses and working, I don't feel like I have enough time for everything.

I had talked to several older female co-workers concerning this topic in the past before I made the decision to enroll back in school full-time and most women told me I'll regret waiting to have kids until I'm older (currently I'm thinking 35). It's not guaranteed that I'll be able to have a child, and if I do I won't have as much energy as when I'm younger. Even if I do have a child, I may not be able to have another one. Also, I'll be older once I retire and still perhaps be supporting my children through college. Basically, I still feel conflicted on what the best choice is and I'm hoping the answer will become clear as I dive deeper into school and more time passes.

If waiting is what you truly want then I wouldn't listen to those women at all! My mother was almost 32 when I was born (I'm still an only child) and she is ecstatic with her choice to wait. She was able to get to a point in life where being a great mother was all that mattered. Pharmacy school will undoubtedly take up a very significant portion of your life. What if you regret not waiting? If they are much older women, then society was also quite different when they were of child bearing age, so that may be another reason they don't understand your choice to wait until your mid 30's. More and more couples are choosing to have children later on in life, and personally it seems like their children are better off for it, not worse.

You get to have your youth and free-time while you are in your 20's, and your children have the benefit of living a stable and comfortable life with parents who have built their life around providing for them. I don't see anything wrong with "Oh but my CAREER". The career is what is going to provide them with food, school supplies, college savings fund, a safe car to get to school, etc... especially now when the husbands salary is not always guaranteed.

I'm not saying it's wrong or bad to have children now, but I would definitely wait if you are leaning that way at all.

 

[Tinkerbell22]

But would you?

People CAN have kids at a late age. Doesn't mean people WANT to. If you're 40 and you have a kid, you'll be 60 when they go to college. Not to mention, that's a huge strain on your body at 40 years old. Not something I'd want to go through. Not to mention, after 35, the risks of having a kid with disabilities or diseases increases exponentially.

Of course, I wouldn't want kids when in school either. I couldn't handle it. And yeah, if she's 23, she's got plenty of time, especially if she got the "hard" part over with (ie. finding the right man!).

This is true, but I guess that is where a happy medium comes in. I don't see any harm in waiting until you are 30-35 years old to have children, and possibly longer if you are a male. If you take care of yourself then you will be able to keep up with your kids no problem when you are well into your 50's and 60's and they are in college.

 

[spacecowgirl]

We're planning on kids in about 2 years and I'll be 33. And we want to have more than 1 which puts me in the "advanced maternal age" category. I'm a little concerned about the risks, but that's how it's worked out in my life and having kids earlier was not an option. I seriously don't know how people have kids while in pharmacy school or residency!

Have kids because you're ready, not because other people are pressuring you. Being the oldest parents at graduation isn't the most appealing thing but having kids when I'm financially and emotionally prepared outweighs those other details.

 

[busyizzy]

This is true, but I guess that is where a happy medium comes in. I don't see any harm in waiting until you are 30-35 years old to have children, and possibly longer if you are a male. If you take care of yourself then you will be able to keep up with your kids no problem when you are well into your 50's and 60's and they are in college.

Oh I never said there's anything wrong with it. It's a personal choice. It's just a risk that you have to take into account tho - some people are comfortable with them, some people would rather not risk it, thus have babies earlier. Just a possible reason why someone would . And obviously, there are a whole lot of other variables that other people have mentioned including finances, school/residency, etc.

 

[sunnyd83]

26 year old mom of a 3 year old here. I would love to have another (one more) child and feel that there is no perfect time to have children. I plan on applying for the 2011 cycle and am about to start taking the rest of my pre-req's. I've come to the conclusion that women just can't WIN in the public's eye when it comes to children. Strangely enough, this conclusion only effects the women. We suck for being lazy stay at home moms and we suck for being selfish worker bees. Society will try to make you feel guilty either way. So, having said these things, I'm just going to go with the flow and keep myself from having an aneurysm by not thinking about it. If I happen to get pregnant...I'll just have to deal with it. I did get pregnant on my honeymoon after all. I suppose I'm used to ADJUSTING. I'm sure there are more difficult things in life than being with child or having a tot around during Pharm school. I'm also sure that there are some women who have children later in life who will swear by it. I think I'm tired of thinking.

 

[Passion4Sci]

It's so true. Society places a very unfair burden upon women... My wife and I, but mostly my wife, are harangued on a nearly daily basis because of our decision not to have children. She's called all sorts of names and is the target of much passive-aggressive derision in both of our families because she wants to pursue her life-long goal and doesn't want a child involved to get in the way.

You guys are damned if you do and damned if you don't really.

There's a big bias... in a 2006 study I read, 98% of "partner plus" executive level men had children, compared to a dismal 7% of women. Women in these levels just can't have kids, and that's a very sad statistic.

26 year old mom of a 3 year old here. I would love to have another (one more) child and feel that there is no perfect time to have children. I plan on applying for the 2011 cycle and am about to start taking the rest of my pre-req's. I've come to the conclusion that women just can't WIN in the public's eye when it comes to children. Strangely enough, this conclusion only effects the women. We suck for being lazy stay at home moms and we suck for being selfish worker bees. Society will try to make you feel guilty either way. So, having said these things, I'm just going to go with the flow and keep myself from having an aneurysm by not thinking about it. If I happen to get pregnant...I'll just have to deal with it. I did get pregnant on my honeymoon after all. I suppose I'm used to ADJUSTING. I'm sure there are more difficult things in life than being with child or having a tot around during Pharm school. I'm also sure that there are some women who have children later in life who will swear by it. I think I'm tired of thinking.

 

[Tinkerbell22]

Honestly, I really want to get a cat or a dog, but realistically knowing our schedule now, I don't have time for either. I can't imagine you having time to actually have a child and raise the child well most importantly.

I'm sure pharmacy is a lot more demanding than undergrad, but nonetheless I thought the same thing my last year in college. I really wanted to adopt a cat or two (to keep the other company) but I was scared that it would be too much and add to my stress. I ended up adopting a cat that I found locked in someone's garage that I knew, and asked if I could take them since it was obviously being mistreated. I now have a new kitten that I got from the shelter as well. Cats are really independent so they are very content to stay at home and sleep while you are at school or working. They've actually been a lifesaver to me through the past year because they really do relieve a lot of stress when I come home after a long day and have to sit at the computer all night and study. You can get really active cats that like to play a lot, or you can get a nice calm cat that likes to sit near you and sleep. The only thing is you can't really leave them alone for more than 2 days because they'll run out of food and the litter box will be gross. They don't eat much, but litter, toys, and food will also add to your monthly grocery bill. Plus any unexpected visits to the vet for ear mites, allergies, etc.

If you can afford this and handle the daily feeding and litter box changing (it's not gross at all, I have two cats and they both clean themselves and smell great lol) I would definitely recommend getting a pet if you are looking for company while you are in school. Dogs are a lot more work in my opinion, especially for a girl living alone, but I know some girls who have very small dogs. It also depends where you live because some apartments or condos make you pay a deposit for pets, or don't allow them at all, but usually they will be understanding especially for college students who want a pet.

 

[Tinkerbell22]

There's a big bias... in a 2006 study I read, 98% of "partner plus" executive level men had children, compared to a dismal 7% of women. Women in these levels just can't have kids, and that's a very sad statistic.

Wow that is crazy. I knew there was a trend like that, but I didn't think the numbers were that lopsided! That is kind of sad because a lot of those women probably DO want children but they can't risk their careers. I read this article about a woman living in Connecticut I believe, who commuted to NYC everyday to work on Wall Street and she said that after her divorce she had to cut a lot of luxuries, but her 40,000 per year expense on a nanny was a necessity because she couldn't pack lunches, drive to school, do laundry, etc because of her job. Unfortunately most woman can't or aren't willing to hire a nanny to take care of her children so they just don't have them. In my case I just really don't want kids, no matter what career path I'm on, but I'm sure that I'm in a minority among most girls. When I was preparing to begin my application process I was talking to a woman I know who was on an adcom a long time ago and she said that she loves her job (now working at her family's pharmacy) because she has time to raise her two young children and be a family person as well as having a great job. So I think pharmacy is a good choice for women who want kids, I just think that it's not a bad idea at all if you are still in your 20's and decide you want to wait until after school.

 

[UES Girl]

She's called all sorts of names and is the target of much passive-aggressive derision in both of our families because she wants to pursue her life-long goal and doesn't want a child involved to get in the way.

I would have said if I was in your wife's position: "You may never understand my decision, but have enough decency to respect it."

 

[Passion4Sci]

I would have said if I was in your wife's position: "You may never understand my decision, but have enough decency to respect it."

She has replies that are canned because it comes up so often.