Please help - having a hard time in "Group Sessions"

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nguyenkimphat

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Hello everyone :)

how are you? I hope that you are doing well. I was hoping that you could please help me with a problem that I have been facing.

My dental school is not like traditional dental schools. While other dental schools have traditional lectures, my dental school has something called group sessions, where a group of 6 students plus one professor would sit inside a room and discuss a case. The case is usually about a medical/dental patient who comes into see the doctor, and our job as students is to come up with ideas and research topics to better understand the condition and diagnosis of the patient.

We students actually do spend a lot of time in these Group Session, and my problem is that some of the people in PBL are becoming really rude and mean to each other. They are trying to fight to talk over each other - and sometimes, I feel as if my group members are becoming jealous and envious of each other - and it is emotionally draining to have to go through this.

I don't know if I am being too sensitive, but sometimes, I can sense the vibe in the room - from facial expression or tone of voice - there is a lot of tension and competition in the room.

There are some kids in the room who are actually really aggressive - they keep talking and talking and talking really loudly - but if you actually listen to the words that they are saying - they aren't really saying anything at all. Then there are other kids who are softer, and quieter - but when they do speak, they actually come up with good, scientific ideas.

And it gets me really angry when the softer, more quieter kids are getting picked on by the louder kids. Sometimes the louder kids would say things that sound like harmless jokes but are actually really mean insults to the quieter kids.

This whole situation of not having lecture - is really draining and so0o tiring. A part of me is so TIRED of this whole "group session" thing- and I do wish that my dental school was lecture based.

For me personally, I do feel a little bit of negativity - sometimes, when i am trying to speak and do say something intelligent, i feel as if my group members turn on me or quietly get angry at me for speaking. It's hard to explain, but I can feel it.

When school first started, a few months ago, I was getting along with my class mates really really well, and I was really looking forward to building new friendships - I thought the whole competition thing was only for high school and college, and i thought that the competitiveness would end in dental school, but I was so wrong. These groups sessions have made us so jealous of each other - and the constant negativity in the room and jealousy - is draining.

I feel so lonely - I was really looking forward to making good friends in dental school - and within the first few months, I really thought that I had found some cool good friends - but watching people in these Group Sessions bite at each other and at me - it hurts really badly inside - it has made me really sad. It has really made me think that the "friendships" that I had formed in the first few months of dental school were really superficial.

I feel so lonely - sometimes, I think that the only people that I have in my life are my family and God - I feel so lonely sometimes, and I think maybe this loneliness I feel is God's way of calling me to a deeper friendship with Himself. The world cannot satisfy my heart - only God can.

My question is - how do I deal with this whole Group Session thingy? Should I emotionally distance myself from all these people - and try my best to separate myself from my own emotions and feelings? Should I go through dental school trying to ignore my feelings and just do what I have to do?

How do I forget all the nasty, mean comments I've received from my class mates in the Group Session meetings?

Today, we had a 4 hour long group session - and I saw some of my best dental school friends say awful/mean things to me - I don't think that I see them as friends anymore - I'm so tired and hurt. Do you think that with time, I will be able to get over this?

Please keep me in your prayers.

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I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Maybe try to focus on finding one or two close friends, maybe outside of your group, to commiserate with. Or try to get your group to socialize together outside of class, once everybody gets to know each other as more than just classmates they might have a little more respect for each other. Like maybe try to get everybody together for lunch a few times and see if that changes anything. Good luck, I hope it gets better for you.
 
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My guess is LECOM or USC, but I doubt OP wants to share that information if they're already feeling ostracized in the event others at the school are reading this, too.
 
Trying talking to your facilitators about how you feel. Not only them, but your "best dental friends" as well. You need to let out how you feel to someone. I'm sure there is someone in your group that can empathize with you. You will be spending the next four years with these people - the best thing to do is to vocalize how you feel. If not, you're going to be very very miserable.

There are always going to be people that are more opinionated and aggressive than others. Don't focus on them. Let them spit out whatever nonsense they have to let it out of their system. Focus on your own learning and success. That is the best tip I have for you.
 
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Hi
I feel for you, same thing happened with me through out my dental school . I kept saying no they are my friends and they kept saying bad things about me or to me.
1st ask yourself ,have you ever hurt them initially? yes say sorry,, no ask them why they are doing this to you? if they give answer good enough, if not distant yourself. Take my point you will be more happy to be with yourself.
make friends out of the study session group. if you have to make friends in study session make acquaintances not friends.
don't get emotionally attach with them , once you get attach emotionally they will suck your blood and peace and you wont be able to release yourself from them.
look ,to be calm just tell yourself I am here to complete my dentistry and not to make friends. and if you crave for friend look for senior, junior or school friends.
talk to other people and m telling you people out of your study session wll be nicer to you, as you wont be their threat of stealing/getting patient , or coming into good eyes of prof.

feel bad . need a friend to talk. mail me at [email protected] I can be your anonymous friend.

try to be your friend and see how good you feel :D I learnt it hard way but when I some of my juniors approached me and appreciated me for being so care free of friends and being so independent .. Felt good :)

be happy on your own.. that's the key.. after 2 yr of school you wont even know where they are and what they are doing..
 
I have been given so much - I got accepted into one of the most prestigious dental schools in the world - why am I complaining? So what if these classmates in the group sessions are mean to me? I have no reason to complain. I am thankful.

I really believe that my loneliness is God's way of calling me closer to Him. Only God can satisfy my heart - no one else.
 
I have been given so much - I got accepted into one of the most prestigious dental schools in the world - why am I complaining? So what if these classmates in the group sessions are mean to me? I have no reason to complain. I am thankful.

I really believe that my loneliness is God's way of calling me closer to Him. Only God can satisfy my heart - no one else.

I'll omit commenting on the "God" stuff, and just repeat what I said to you in your "Am I being selfish and lazy?" thread -- I think you could really benefit from speaking with some sort of mental health professional. They are equipped to help provide you with skills and insight that no one here on SDN can give you. I'm not in your group sessions, so I can't comment on your classmates behavior. But take it from a fellow introvert, that sometimes we don't perceive behaviors the way they were intended - what may come off to you as aggressive and combative might just be emphatic and excited to someone else. If nothing else, treat this as practice for the real world; you will encounter people (in the general public and in your practice) throughout your entire life that are aggressive and combative with you. It's up to you to develop the confidence, tact, and general social skills to manage that behavior. That's where speaking with a professional could really help you. Instead of waiting for "God" to help you manage these problems you're facing, be proactive and take practical steps toward getting better. Best of luck, I hope you can find a way to embrace dental school and make it through.
 
I'll omit commenting on the "God" stuff, and just repeat what I said to you in your "Am I being selfish and lazy?" thread -- I think you could really benefit from speaking with some sort of mental health professional. They are equipped to help provide you with skills and insight that no one here on SDN can give you. I'm not in your group sessions, so I can't comment on your classmates behavior. But take it from a fellow introvert, that sometimes we don't perceive behaviors the way they were intended - what may come off to you as aggressive and combative might just be emphatic and excited to someone else. If nothing else, treat this as practice for the real world; you will encounter people (in the general public and in your practice) throughout your entire life that are aggressive and combative with you. It's up to you to develop the confidence, tact, and general social skills to manage that behavior. That's where speaking with a professional could really help you. Instead of waiting for "God" to help you manage these problems you're facing, be proactive and take practical steps toward getting better. Best of luck, I hope you can find a way to embrace dental school and make it through.

Thank you @free99 for your response. Please keep me in your prayers :)))
 
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