Last edited:
basically commencement is for family ,esp your parents, more than it is for you…so you have to ask yourself who is more important to you?
you may not think your parents or family will think its important …but they do…my school allows for us to have someone hood us if they are a physician…you could have popped my dad with a pin he was so proud and excited…not something i would have wanted to deprive him of…its a bit selfish on your part to deprive your parents of the same feeling.
go to commencement, then go to the reception if you must...
Ha this will be me. Can't f*cking waitMine was "required," but I didn't go as I was across the country on vacation as I used my "interview month" block at the very end to finish a month earlier. No regrets whatsoever. So glad med school is over. Residency is a 1000x better. I'm actually learning what I want and I get paid doing it!
Aww, that's so nice!!! Most Deans aren't that caring.EDIT UPDATE: If you're lucky like me, you'll have a Dean who's willing to speak to you at 10PM and make a plan that will satisfy my parents, and get me to the ceremony on time. Moral of the story - have a little faith in your medical school. I didn't even think it was a possibility.
You did say that your parents are very upset that you are thinking about not attending graduation. And the wedding is of 2 friends...I don't know that your relationship is with your family...some people after all look at their friends to be more their family than their actual blood family...but in my eyes putting your friends over your family IS a bit selfish...after all putting your desire over that of someone else is by definition selfish isn't it?I appreciate your feedback. I will forgive you implying that I am selfish because I couldn't (and didn't want to) paint a more detailed picture of how close I am to the couple that is being married. Of course I don't want to deprive my parents of a special feeling. If it were an easy decision I wouldn't have come to StudentDoctor.net for advice. Seriously...I'm on SDN looking for personal advice. But I'm sure I'm not alone on SDN when I say that I've had to sacrifice a personal life in favor of professional obligations. When I said that it's a "social event," that's because it was a much more simple way to describe it. And even if I'm selfish for wanting to stand in a close friend's wedding, I can live with that. I know it would mean a lot to both of them. Like I said, I appreciate your feedback. But try not to judge me over the internet.
Thanks to everyone else for the feedback as well. I'm literally sick to my stomach over it.
EDIT UPDATE: If you're lucky like me, you'll have a Dean who's willing to speak to you at 10PM and make a plan that will satisfy my parents, and get me to the ceremony on time. Moral of the story - have a little faith in your medical school. I didn't even think it was a possibility.
Can your friends not change the start time of the wedding by a few hours (or even get married a different day) to accommodate your graduation? Particularly if they want you to be in the wedding party, wouldn't it behoove them to ensure that you could attend the ceremony? And if they're such good friends that they're like family, and it's only an hour drive away, then why aren't they planning on attending your med school graduation?
It's only "one of the most cumbersome things a person has to do" if they choose to make it be so. Regardless, you seem to have found a solution that satisfies you, and in the end, that's the only thing that really matters. Congrats on that, as well as on graduating from med school.Well, I don't exactly consider my med school graduation to be such an enormous event. That's basically where I was coming from. I understand that it's big for my parents, but I wasn't planning on inviting a single person outside of parents and siblings who live in-state. They'll be at my wedding though
Also, scheduling a wedding is one of the most cumbersome things a person has to do. They were looking at different venues in different cities in different months. I did actually tell them to try and avoid this day, but there are so many other people to please and variables to consider it must have been forgotten. That doesn't mean I'm not very important to them. It just means that there are other people who are too, and many other variables to consider.
I'll put this thread to rest. I do appreciate the opinions and support. Thanks everybody and good luck.