Raped as a medical student

[NotAProgDirector]

As a first year medical student, I was attacked and raped a few days before my first set of exams as I was walking home from school. I probably didn't handle it exactly as I should have, but I did tell my school's administration who told me that my options were either take a leave of absence or else fail my exams (they weren't supportive or helpful at all unfortunately). I wasn't offered any make-up exams or even a few days of excused absences since my school has a mandatory attendance policy. I opted to try to take the tests anyways after I talked to a few professors who were more understanding as to why I wouldn't want to let this experience affect my life by taking a leave of absence and having all that free time to think of what happened to me, and I ended up failing a couple of classes due to my performance on that first set of exams, which meant that I had to retake those classes the following year and graduate a year late.

I'm now a full time 2nd year student and I'm thankfully doing well in school, but my life still feels like its a bit in shambles. I still can't sleep at night, I'm easily startled, I can barely hold my concentration, and I've been diagnosed with both PTSD and clinical depression. I was given a prescription for an antidepressant which I still haven't gotten filled because I heard that it will make me a poor applicant when it comes to residency. Due to the fact that I've failed several classes, I know that I'm already a poor candidate and I don't want to make my already weak application even worse.

So that leaves me with several questions. First, how badly will the fact that I failed classes hurt me when applying to residencies? Will they even consider such a bad student? Secondly, is my story something that I should disclose to programs in an effort to explain my academic performance? And lastly, should I avoid taking the medications that I was prescribed in order not to hurt my resume further? Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

First, it's horrible that you've had this terrible experience, and I wish you the best as far as recovery is concerned.

As far as your school's response, I don't think they honestly have much choice. You could have taken a leave of absence to help address the acute trauma of the event. If the school makes some sort of an exception for you (more time, delayed exams, etc), then they will need to start making exceptions for others -- someone who's parent becomes ill or dies, someone who breaks up with their spouse/SO, etc. It's a slippery slope to decide who "deserves" some sort of accomodation, and who doesn't. I'm not suggesting that your situation doesn't rise to the level that "something" could have been done, but hopefully you can see that this can lead others charging that their issues were not addressed fairly. So the fairest way to address this, for everyone, is via a leave of absence.

Regardless, addressing your questions:

First, how badly will the fact that I failed classes hurt me when applying to residencies? Will they even consider such a bad student?

It's clearly not good, but if you can recover, pass the second time, and do well on Step 1, you can certainly make the argument that the issue is behind you. You'll need to decide whether you plan to talk about this in your application at all.

Programs consider people who fail some 1st year classes all the time. Not all fields may be an option -- Derm, Rads, Ortho, Ophthal, Urology, etc are all quite competitive, and failures in medical school may mean that those fields are not options. But many fields will still be open if your performance improves. The key is to prove to people is that this issue will not affect your future performance.

Secondly, is my story something that I should disclose to programs in an effort to explain my academic performance?

This is a difficult question to answer. You certainly can, and if you do, it's almostr certain to come up at your interview. If you do disclose it (in your personal statement, or elsewhere), you're implicitly giving people permission to discuss it as part of your application. You'll have to decide whether you're ready to talk about it to complete strangers.

And lastly, should I avoid taking the medications that I was prescribed in order not to hurt my resume further?

Somehow, you have gotten some very bad advice. No one is going to care whether you are on antidepressants or not. In fact, no one is going to know, since you don't need to tell them. The most important thing is for you to succeed in medical school. With the symptoms you are describing, I worry that you really haven't recovered from your attack. You need to get your symptoms under control -- whether that will require medication, further counseling, a leave of absence, or some combination is unknown. But given what you've described above, I worry that if you don't address your problems, they will only get worse, affect your performance again, and then you'll have a real problem.

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[Goro]

I too am terribly sorry for your tragedy, and hope that time will bring you the blessing of healing.

I'd just like to offer this n=1 nit of news as a ray of hope:. one of my all-time worst students ever, one who failed and had to repeat an entire year, ended up in Anesthesiology, so if HE/SHE could do it, so could you.

In our experience, our graduates' academic performance in their first two years doesn't seem to matter much to residency directors. Board scores, clinical years perfomance, and LORs all seem to be the big thing for them.

Good luck!

First, it's horrible that you've had this terrible experience, and I wish you the best as far as recovery is concerned.

As far as your school's response, I don't think they honestly have much choice. You could have taken a leave of absence to help address the acute trauma of the event. If the school makes some sort of an exception for you (more time, delayed exams, etc), then they will need to start making exceptions for others -- someone who's parent becomes ill or dies, someone who breaks up with their spouse/SO, etc. It's a slippery slope to decide who "deserves" some sort of accomodation, and who doesn't. I'm not suggesting that your situation doesn't rise to the level that "something" could have been done, but hopefully you can see that this can lead others charging that their issues were not addressed fairly. So the fairest way to address this, for everyone, is via a leave of absence.

Regardless, addressing your questions:


It's clearly not good, but if you can recover, pass the second time, and do well on Step 1, you can certainly make the argument that the issue is behind you. You'll need to decide whether you plan to talk about this in your application at all.

Programs consider people who fail some 1st year classes all the time. Not all fields may be an option -- Derm, Rads, Ortho, Ophthal, Urology, etc are all quite competitive, and failures in medical school may mean that those fields are not options. But many fields will still be open if your performance improves. The key is to prove to people is that this issue will not affect your future performance.



This is a difficult question to answer. You certainly can, and if you do, it's almostr certain to come up at your interview. If you do disclose it (in your personal statement, or elsewhere), you're implicitly giving people permission to discuss it as part of your application. You'll have to decide whether you're ready to talk about it to complete strangers.



Somehow, you have gotten some very bad advice. No one is going to care whether you are on antidepressants or not. In fact, no one is going to know, since you don't need to tell them. The most important thing is for you to succeed in medical school. With the symptoms you are describing, I worry that you really haven't recovered from your attack. You need to get your symptoms under control -- whether that will require medication, further counseling, a leave of absence, or some combination is unknown. But given what you've described above, I worry that if you don't address your problems, they will only get worse, affect your performance again, and then you'll have a real problem.

 

[Doodledog]

You should follow the medical advice you trust and take the medications you need to maintain your health.

Best wishes for a full and complete healing.

 

[Leforte]

I agree with all that has been said from the senior faculty here.

The first priority is your health and recovery. If you are seeing a mental health professional, and their suggestion is to try medication to assist in your recovery - than this is really a moot point when it comes to residency and licensing. Your residency applications need not know of any of the trauma that you have undergone - unless, of course, you choose to disclose this in your application. As far as licensing is concerned - as long as it does not impact your ability to practice (which will be in a few years) - than you can safely answer the screening questions. To those colleagues or advisors who are suggesting that taking a needed medication to work through acute trauma would be detrimental to your career are simply misinformed. And I would ague that they may even be damaging your recovery.

Talk with your physician who is managing this - discuss your concerns, their commitment to patient confidentiality and how best to start to recover from the event. They will be far more accommodating than what you have been led to believe.

If, however, you need to take some time away - there are ways to ensure the time is productive, yet still give you the personal time that you need. You can always delay both the remainder or MS2 and Step I. The impact on your future career will be minimal in the long term.

 

[floridakmm]

I want to say I am sorry. And that academics is the worst place to report and sexual misconduct. Believe me., I have been sexually harassed and reported it. I was then told that maybe I liked it and I asked for the harassment. I would look into a lawyer. Your school should not be allowed to be anything but supportive. I wish I had sued my school for how they acted. You should take time off and get the help you need. As for failing classes, if they are preclinical you are fine. I ended up becoming severly depressed during my clinicals and making a C. I have not applied to residency yet but I want you to know that I still hold hope with my poor grade and time off. You are not alone. You can do this. And you should not be asking people like aprogramdirector, that has not idea what it is to be sexually harassed/raped, on their opinion about your application. He has given me really offensive advice about my harassment in the past.
Get a lawyer. Say you want your F's erased. It happens all the time. Recently, someone sued over a poor grade and won in court. Fight for yourself. You deserve it. Please be safe

 

[Gauss44]

There are some amazing people who have survived rotten experiences. I hope you will be one of them, or perhaps you already are. In an attempt to provide some hope, I wanted to share this: http://www.aswaterspassingby.org/notablesurvivors.html

While reading your post, I was asking myself, "If this were me, what would I do?" (Or what would I hope that I would do?) My answer: Get plenty of talk therapy (counseling) to deal with lingering feelings, trauma, etc., and to understand what happened. Try out different counselors and pick the most effective one. Since I am spiritual, I would go to church to refuel my hope, belief in good, etc. I would try to emerge from this event with new knowledge to compliment my career choice as a doctor, and with new personal strength and growth. If I had PTSD, depression, and was failing exams, I would find time to apply for social security disability too. The worst they'll say is, "no." If they say, "yes," you can get some money for your trouble. And you can go to school while on disability. Should you doubt my words, google it.

And I truly wish you the best. Good luck!

As a first year medical student, I was attacked and raped a few days before my first set of exams as I was walking home from school. I probably didn't handle it exactly as I should have, but I did tell my school's administration who told me that my options were either take a leave of absence or else fail my exams (they weren't supportive or helpful at all unfortunately). I wasn't offered any make-up exams or even a few days of excused absences since my school has a mandatory attendance policy. I opted to try to take the tests anyways after I talked to a few professors who were more understanding as to why I wouldn't want to let this experience affect my life by taking a leave of absence and having all that free time to think of what happened to me, and I ended up failing a couple of classes due to my performance on that first set of exams, which meant that I had to retake those classes the following year and graduate a year late.

I'm now a full time 2nd year student and I'm thankfully doing well in school, but my life still feels like its a bit in shambles. I still can't sleep at night, I'm easily startled, I can barely hold my concentration, and I've been diagnosed with both PTSD and clinical depression. I was given a prescription for an antidepressant which I still haven't gotten filled because I heard that it will make me a poor applicant when it comes to residency. Due to the fact that I've failed several classes, I know that I'm already a poor candidate and I don't want to make my already weak application even worse.

So that leaves me with several questions. First, how badly will the fact that I failed classes hurt me when applying to residencies? Will they even consider such a bad student? Secondly, is my story something that I should disclose to programs in an effort to explain my academic performance? And lastly, should I avoid taking the medications that I was prescribed in order not to hurt my resume further? Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.