Relationship Center

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
Emiloo, I hate to ask this but...do you give him ideas of what you WOULD like? Or is he just being purposefully dense? :laugh:

Members don't see this ad.
 
Emiloo, I hate to ask this but...do you give him ideas of what you WOULD like? Or is he just being purposefully dense? :laugh:

:thumbup:

He's really bad about waiting until the last minute and then trying to scramble to find things and just picking out random crap. I personally don't even care if I get a gift, I would rather not have one, than know you went out and bought a bunch of shiz that morning. It's about the thought of it for me. Even if he just made dinner reservations in advance and set up a nice evening, that's enough for me. I told him to only get me something if there is something HE wants to get me. Not because he thinks I want a present. And I honestly feel that way. If it was purchased out of obligation it means nothing to me. If you purchase it because you can't wait to see how happy it makes me, than perfect.
And as I'm writing this I just got the sweetest message I've ever received in my life from him Daaaawwwwwww :love:
He's a great guy, just a PITA sometimes :D
 
Members don't see this ad :)
Ha! Yeah right. If the lame gifts were a new thing I might agree with you, but he just sucks at it plain and simple :laugh: Still love him like crazy though :D
Thanks ;)

I think you should get him perfume and girly things for gifts! ;)
 
Ha! Now we're going skiing at Whiteface and Saranac lake instead!! Even more excited!! :D

3 days and 3 nights and apparently it's a pretty swanky hotel :soexcited:
 
Last edited:
I would totally give my SO ideas if I could think of anything I actually wanted...
Maybe a puppy. That way we could buy stuff for the dog each year instead of this silly game!
 
So I met up with my boyfriend this weekend and we talked about everything. Hes just upset with the distance and how we cant just hang out any random night of the week but were going to try to visit eachother more while we can. Its just so hard because when were together were perfect but the distance is hard..I just kept telling him hes not in this alone. I really want this to work but Im still scared :scared:
 
Members don't see this ad :)
There's a painful lack of male input, or comprehension of the male perspective, on this thread.

Here's your chance, ladies.

Q and A.

Absolutely anything you want to know about:

-The male mind
-Our decision making process
-What we mean when we say "X"
-What we mean when we do "X"
-How you really look in those jeans
-All other minutiae

I have a dull night, and I want to help you learn.
 
This is serious business.

Get onboard the knowledge train.

train1-e1312573042617.jpg
 
There's a painful lack of male input, or comprehension of the male perspective, on this thread.

Here's your chance, ladies.

Q and A.

Absolutely anything you want to know about:

-The male mind
-Our decision making process
-What we mean when we say "X"
-What we mean when we do "X"
-How you really look in those jeans
-All other minutiae

I have a dull night, and I want to help you learn.

:thumbup: I'm trying to think of something good to ask you ... but of course now that this opportunity has presented itself I am forgetting all of the things my husband has ever done/said that have confused me :laugh:
 
There's a painful lack of male input, or comprehension of the male perspective, on this thread.

Here's your chance, ladies.

Q and A.

Absolutely anything you want to know about:

-The male mind
-Our decision making process
-What we mean when we say "X"
-What we mean when we do "X"
-How you really look in those jeans
-All other minutiae

I have a dull night, and I want to help you learn.

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

Oh, where have you been all my life?

Ok I'll bite. . .does it really freak guys out if the girl says the "L" word first, or is that just a stereotype?
 
There's a painful lack of male input, or comprehension of the male perspective, on this thread.

Here's your chance, ladies.

Q and A.

Absolutely anything you want to know about:

-The male mind
-Our decision making process
-What we mean when we say "X"
-What we mean when we do "X"
-How you really look in those jeans
-All other minutiae

I have a dull night, and I want to help you learn.


I'll bite also. As a guy, would you date a girl that is taller than you?
 
Why are you all so obsessed with kicking/punching each other in the balls?
 
:laugh::laugh::laugh:

Oh, where have you been all my life?

Ok I'll bite. . .does it really freak guys out if the girl says the "L" word first, or is that just a stereotype?

It depends if you say it under the 4-6 month mark.

Then... yes. Because that's probably a crazy thing to do.

If you say it after that, and he freaks, he probably doesn't love you, and he probably won't.

Ever.

That's how long it takes to know.
 
:laugh::laugh::laugh:

Oh, where have you been all my life?

Ok I'll bite. . .does it really freak guys out if the girl says the "L" word first, or is that just a stereotype?

I'll throw out an opinion on this too.

Depends really. If it's a stable relationship and everything seems to be going well I don't think it's a big deal if the girl says it to me first. Might make me a little nervous, especially if I'm not ready to reciprocate just yet, but I won't be majorly freaked out by it or anything of the sort.

However, too soon is no bueno. Nothing makes us dudes say "oh hell no" like a girl coming off as too clingy and needy. If it's only been a month or two or whatever and that word starts getting thrown around I'll probably seriously reconsider this.

So no, it's not bad to go for it, but I would say that ladies might want to err on the side of caution. Better to take it a little slower than risk spooking him.
 
I'll bite also. As a guy, would you date a girl that is taller than you?

I'm 5'7''. I have absolutely no problem dating a tall woman. I may not be physically taller than you, but I'm likely one of the biggest people in the room. Unless the room is exceptionally awesome.

But I've found on several occasions that women have a problem dating someone who isn't, at least, of equal height. While the mantle of shallowness seems to rest squarely on the masculine shoulder, the real issue is often decided by the female inability to differentiate height from character or suitability as a mate.

It's vaguely frustrating to know that, were we 2-4 inches taller, we'd be your dream date. Skip the heels, and we're a Nicholas Sparks character.
 
It depends if you say it under the 4-6 month mark.

Then... yes. Because that's probably a crazy thing to do.

If you say it after that, and he freaks, he probably doesn't love you, and he probably won't.

Ever.

That's how long it takes to know.


So no, it's not bad to go for it, but I would say that ladies might want to err on the side of caution. Better to take it a little slower than risk spooking him.

For background, we've been together 10 months now and neither one of us has said it yet. But I think (hope?) we're both feeling it and waiting for the other person to say it first.
I might have to be the one to grow a pair and take the plunge. :rolleyes:
 
It goes both ways too--my very first boyfriend said it after 2 months. We broke up after 3 months. He was married to another girl within a year. Seems to me like he was looking for a girl to marry...I was totally not on the same page.
 
For background, we've been together 10 months now and neither one of us has said it yet. But I think (hope?) we're both feeling it and waiting for the other person to say it first.
I might have to be the one to grow a pair and take the plunge. :rolleyes:

The vast majority of men appreciate you taking the lead on emotional/romantic benchmarks.

If you've been together for 10 months, it's a 99% certainty that he knows how he feels about you. And unless there's some kind of awesome sex, or he has hyperbolic abandonment issues, he probably loves you back.

But... there's a stigma attached to the kind of guy who drops the L word first, especially if it's unsolicited. We're often painted as the emo, hyper-sensitive sissy who can't Clint Eastwood his feelings.

If you do the momentary hard part, and actually declare the emotion, it's much easier for the guy to release the emotions that are already likely there.
 
I'm 5'7''. I have absolutely no problem dating a tall woman. I may not be physically taller than you, but I'm likely one of the biggest people in the room. Unless the room is exceptionally awesome.

But I've found on several occasions that women have a problem dating someone who isn't, at least, of equal height. While the mantle of shallowness seems to rest squarely on the masculine shoulder, the real issue is often decided by the female inability to differentiate height from character or suitability as a mate.

It's vaguely frustrating to know that, were we 2-4 inches taller, we'd be your dream date. Skip the heels, and we're a Nicholas Sparks character.

Nicely put!
 
The vast majority of men appreciate you taking the lead on emotional/romantic benchmarks.

If you've been together for 10 months, it's a 99% certainty that he knows how he feels about you. And unless there's some kind of awesome sex, or he has hyperbolic abandonment issues, he probably loves you back.

But... there's a stigma attached to the kind of guy who drops the L word first, especially if it's unsolicited. We're often painted as the emo, hyper-sensitive sissy who can't Clint Eastwood his feelings.

If you do the momentary hard part, and actually declare the emotion, it's much easier for the guy to release the emotions that are already likely there.

Thank you, this is super helpful! I have been planning on saying it and just waiting for the right moment, but this definitely alleviates the anxiety. :thumbup:
 
It goes both ways too--my very first boyfriend said it after 2 months. We broke up after 3 months. He was married to another girl within a year. Seems to me like he was looking for a girl to marry...I was totally not on the same page.

Had a guy say it at the end of the first week. Following a conversation where he invited me to move in with him. And he said he was applying for jobs in an area where I'd like to live after vet school, because he knew I liked that area and he wanted to settle down somewhere I'd be happy.

I ran. Very quickly. And never looked back.
 
Had a guy say it at the end of the first week. Following a conversation where he invited me to move in with him. And he said he was applying for jobs in an area where I'd like to live after vet school, because he knew I liked that area and he wanted to settle down somewhere I'd be happy.

I ran. Very quickly. And never looked back.

Oh dear...

Well speaking of relationships in general.
New life plan:
Find med student whilst in vet school. Marry. Done.
 

Someone has to pay off my debt! Cumulatively we'll be worse off to start. But down the road we'll be golden. Plus I need someone smart and beautiful because I intimidate the mens with my forwardness, intelligence AND good looks. My life is so hard... :p
 
The stereotype is that when a girl says "nothing's wrong" something actually is wrong, and when a guy says it, it's really that nothing's wrong.

True for the guys?

(I can't say for all girls, but for me about half the time nothing's wrong, and half the time I genuinely don't want to talk about whatever's wrong.)
 
Substitute "already making the big bucks doctor" instead of "med student" and you are completely on to my plan ;)

I just figure I have to snatch one up while he's not so desirable. Then it's an investment and I have less competition :D
 
Oh dear...

Well speaking of relationships in general.
New life plan:
Find med student whilst in vet school. Marry. Done.

My bf and I joke about this a good bit since we're both vet students. He's declared himself and equal opportunity gold digger.


As for going with the idea of marrying a med student, that's totally my back up plan. Marry my ex in England who is currently in his 4th year and will have very little debt when graduating. He wants to possibly move to the US in the future, so it could totally happen not that I expect it to or anything like that.
 
Wild, I laugh because I am liking that idea.
 
My bf and I joke about this a good bit since we're both vet students. He's declared himself and equal opportunity gold digger.


As for going with the idea of marrying a med student, that's totally my back up plan. Marry my ex in England who is currently in his 4th year and will have very little debt when graduating. He wants to possibly move to the US in the future, so it could totally happen not that I expect it to or anything like that.

Haha. Except there is really no gold to dig if you guys are both at penn! But I'm secretly still rooting for you and your Brit boy.
 
The stereotype is that when a girl says "nothing's wrong" something actually is wrong, and when a guy says it, it's really that nothing's wrong.

True for the guys?

(I can't say for all girls, but for me about half the time nothing's wrong, and half the time I genuinely don't want to talk about whatever's wrong.)

Eh, trueish. I think us menfolk often tend to be more blunt if we're displeased with something. Really, it can depend on how someone will respond to me. I prefer to be open about issues, and if I don't feel like talking about it I'll say as such. The problem comes with the fact that some people just can't leave it alone. Basically if I don't want to talk about a problem right then but think that my wishes will be ignored, that's when I may say everything's fine.
 
My grandmother went to Barnhart when it was the women's school for Columbia. She said the strategy back then was for the women to "study" at Columbia's law and medical libraries. She and my Mom used to jokingly reprimand me for not doing the same when I was at undergrad. :laugh:
 
My grandmother went to Barnhart when it was the women's school for Columbia. She said the strategy back then was for the women to "study" at Columbia's law and medical libraries. She and my Mom used to jokingly reprimand me for not doing the same when I was at undergrad. :laugh:

The lawyers are not such a good investment at the moment though!
 
I dated a guy for a little over a year who wouldn't say he loved me (this was a year or so before I started dating my now husband). Anyway, when I broke it off with that guy because really I didn't see it getting any more serious (plus I was bored with his lack if emotions) he went completely emotional. Literally he was crying telling me he did love me and thought he would marry me and was suddenly listening to my favorite bands and watching my favorite shows. It took me breaking up with him for him to show any emotion but by then I was already 2 feet out the door. What the heck was up with that????
 
One of the vets I work with did this. It's a valid, achievable plan!

Her choice was extra good from a financial standpoint because while the guy's a great physician, he also has business acumen and spends part of his professional life consulting. You'll want to be looking for a fellow like this, I imagine.

One of the vets I work with did this too!! They met at Penn when she was in vet school and he was in med school. She jokes that she is quite the investment.
 
Top