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S***, I think this is not for me.
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What year are you?
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second
Haha thats the problem. Im just finishing up second year.. it gets better from here... Hopefully
You got into it for a reason, and more than likely when you have time to actually focus on something other than path/pharm blah blah blah, that reason will come back to you. Second year kills some people, i just see it as one hell of a horrible bump in an already bumpy road.
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"it gets better." - Dan Savage
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Probably just the drain unless you REALLY hate working with patients and the material.
Also, working in real life is different than school.
Also, working in real life is different than school.
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I hope so. I really, really do. I feel so incredibly awkward lately and I never, ever understood how awkward people came to be that way. I now know. When you have so much to do that you can't focus on a convo and you spend most of your time with books certain portions of the brain apparently atrophy. I HATE how I've become and I don't even have the time to counteract the change and I'm pissed off for not attending to it earlier. I just hope things look up, b/c I am seriously debating walking away just because I can't stand this novel awkwardness I have developed. I have NOTHING to talk about with people and conversations just dwindle.
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I'd say of all things, "clicking" with colleagues is about the last thing to determine if a field is right for you. If anything, it probably just means you are a school that's a less than ideal fit for you. It happens and it's not a huge deal.
Truth be told, the end of second year is for most people, the lowest point of medical school. It's at the end of a grueling process, you have Step I hanging over your head and the next step (wards) is a big unknown - which makes it difficult to be excited about. It WILL get better. Not quite right away, but soon, trust me.
I felt the same way. I don't know if I expected medschool to be 'fun' or what- I was not enjoying it any of it. But once clinical years started, it was like a breath of fresh air, for reals. Wait until you spend some time on the wards, and if you're still really really REALLY hating it, you might be on to something.
OH and I feel you on the socially awkward thing.... I hope I get my groove back soon and don't totally lose the ability to interact socially with those that aren't medics/students. I feel like a loser sometimes but it's all good.
One of the attendings here said it best, patient interaction is important in most specialties, but if you completely hate interacting with patients, there is Pathology.
For what it's worth, I'm loving it now and I'm glad I didn't quit. All the best to ya
OH and I feel you on the socially awkward thing.... I hope I get my groove back soon and don't totally lose the ability to interact socially with those that aren't medics/students. I feel like a loser sometimes but it's all good.
One of the attendings here said it best, patient interaction is important in most specialties, but if you completely hate interacting with patients, there is Pathology
. For what it's worth, I'm loving it now and I'm glad I didn't quit. All the best to ya
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im at the end of my 2nd year too and i totally understand how you feel...
i feel as if the only thing i have in my life is med school and learning medicine and i cannot interact with normal. BUT i also feel like i cannot interact with medical students sometimes bc im just feeling very withdrawn and like i just want to be left alone.. i feel like i am wearing a sign that says "leave me alone" and i just go about my business. i leave lecture, walk to the library, study for a few hours, head to the caf to microwave my lunch, sit there by myself for 5-10 min to eat my lunch in silence, and then go back to the library. its a very solitary existence but im ok with it.
what makes it better for me is living with my boyfriend..
also, i dont care if i interact well with my classmates or anything. they dont matter in the grand scheme of things. having good PROFESSIONAL communication skills is what matters much more IMO.
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First and second were horrible. I was a non-trad with a prior career, so I really questioned what I was doing. I felt I was in undergrad (on steroids) all over again, and I really thought I was wasting my time. I hated small groups, lectures, and pretty much anything we were taught during those years.
When I got to third year, things got much better. Some rotations sucked (I'm looking at you, OB), but overall, it was a million times better than first and second year. I'm definitely glad I stuck it out. There are so many different career options in medicine, that I'm sure you can find something you like during your clinical rotations.
When I got to third year, things got much better. Some rotations sucked (I'm looking at you, OB), but overall, it was a million times better than first and second year. I'm definitely glad I stuck it out. There are so many different career options in medicine, that I'm sure you can find something you like during your clinical rotations.
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Many students start doubting themselves toward the end of second year. It's the constant studying. For some, it gets better. For others, it never does. This period does not reflect what the rest of medical school will be though, so hang in there if you can.
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Thanks everyone for all your supportive replies. I have to say I was expecting a bunch of "Quit now" replies, but it seems that maybe I am just burned out.
Ar2388,
This is exactly how I feel. like wearing a "leave me alone sign" bc I have so much to do and every interaction in this stressed state is just not natural for me. Yet at the same time I was once a social person who did have a life but it is so hard to believe now.
Again, your replies were uplifting
Ar2388,
This is exactly how I feel. like wearing a "leave me alone sign" bc I have so much to do and every interaction in this stressed state is just not natural for me. Yet at the same time I was once a social person who did have a life but it is so hard to believe now.
Again, your replies were uplifting
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when you start seeing patients in your rotations it'll be much better. Just push through second year material. It's not too bad. You probably just need a break I bet. Seriously once step 1 is done you'll feel more relaxed.
But you also need to work on you attitude and ability to handle stress. Stop being so type A. you can't get 100s on everything anymore. Bs are good grades in medical school and it won't kill you. So yeah try adopting a more laid back approach to life as much as you can. You really shouldn't have to study more than 3 hours a day right now to do fine in school.
But you also need to work on you attitude and ability to handle stress. Stop being so type A. you can't get 100s on everything anymore. Bs are good grades in medical school and it won't kill you. So yeah try adopting a more laid back approach to life as much as you can. You really shouldn't have to study more than 3 hours a day right now to do fine in school.
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So everyone who keeps telling second years that third year is better is full of ****. Major cow sized ****. Sorry its longer hours, you still have to study and now people yell at you and treat you badly. Secondly you're finally exposed to the fast black hole that is medical politics, and of course insurance bull****. So honestly I can say if you don't find year one and year two to be good, third year is not the saving grace others say it is. It's just "different".
Today (Monday) I was yelled at for instance for not coming in on a Sunday to read the OR schedule. Because obviously I should take my one day off and come back to the hospital, I mean what was I thinking?
Probably about trying to have a life...
Today (Monday) I was yelled at for instance for not coming in on a Sunday to read the OR schedule. Because obviously I should take my one day off and come back to the hospital, I mean what was I thinking?
Probably about trying to have a life...
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...
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Haha thats the problem. Im just finishing up second year.. it gets better from here... Hopefully
You got into it for a reason, and more than likely when you have time to actually focus on something other than path/pharm blah blah blah, that reason will come back to you. Second year kills some people, i just see it as one hell of a horrible bump in an already bumpy road.
I thought 1st and 2nd year were the best years of all, but you may feel differently. In the first 2 years you get to hang out with your buddies all day. We'd drink beer in the afternoon and play poker. That doesn't happen anymore because everyone is on different schedules and at different locations during 3rd and 4th years.
Not to scare the OP or anything, but I also agree with the above poster. You get treated very well in the first two years, then in the second two, you get yelled at every day. Fun!
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So everyone who keeps telling second years that third year is better is full of ****. Major cow sized ****. Sorry its longer hours, you still have to study and now people yell at you and treat you badly. Secondly you're finally exposed to the fast black hole that is medical politics, and of course insurance bull****. So honestly I can say if you don't find year one and year two to be good, third year is not the saving grace others say it is. It's just "different".
Today (Monday) I was yelled at for instance for not coming in on a Sunday to read the OR schedule. Because obviously I should take my one day off and come back to the hospital, I mean what was I thinking?
Probably about trying to have a life...
Yeah, because no one actually enjoys working with patients?
We all expected this medical education thing to be a cake walk, right? Before applying none us shadowed doctors and residents and/or asked then-current medical students and residents how tough things would be? And none of them said it would be a degrading, absolute hell at many times, right?
Come on now, guys. I'm not trying to say hell isn't hell and that suffering isn't suffering, but you should've known what you were signing up for when you were first applying. Best to toughen up now because residency training will only be harder. There are tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of people right now who wish they could be in our (painful) shoes.
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Don't sweat it. Honestly, what you are experiencing is pretty par for the course for where you are right now. I'd even go as far to say that it's relatively "normal." I know I experienced what you did and so did a lot of my colleagues at my level or above. It has a lot to do with the stresses and rigors of medical school. You are probably a bit burned out, as well. Medical school is difficult and it changes you, for the better and sometimes for the worse. Few come through unscathed. We all handle it somewhat differently, though.
What you need to do is to talk to people who understand this crazy experience. Don't keep it to yourself. You need to get these things off your chest, or it will continue to dig in. Although it might not seem like it from the outside, I bet many people are having a similar experience. There's a lot of pleasure in sharing it, knowing you are NOT alone, and having someone listen. That's how we handle the difficult times during clinicals.
Once you begin your clinical rotations, you will find more enjoyment. I know I did and so did the majority of my colleagues. Hang in there.
Also, make sure you SCHEDULE some time in for doing stuff other than medicine. This is very important. I know it's hard to think about stuff other than medicine when you are neck deep in the trenches, but I cannot underscore enough the importance of doing so. You must take care of yourself and make it a high priority. This is how you prevent burn out.
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I never did that, haha. I am envious of your early medical school experiences.
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I don't think the wards are nearly as bad as everyone makes them out to be. I feel like there's a lot of dissonance between academically strong medical students vs what the skills they must build clinically. It's unfortunate that people get so upset about criticism, you shouldn't take it personally.
The drudgery of years 1 & 2 through step 1 is only crushing because time passes so GD slow while studying. You have an "exact" amount of work to get done. Year 3 & 4 the time [should] pass much faster because you're [hopefully more] engaged, though the hours will indeed be longer.
The drudgery of years 1 & 2 through step 1 is only crushing because time passes so GD slow while studying. You have an "exact" amount of work to get done. Year 3 & 4 the time [should] pass much faster because you're [hopefully more] engaged, though the hours will indeed be longer.
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You could have taken 5 min at the end of your shift sat and checked it out, if you aren't prepared for the OR you aren't being the least bit helpful to your team, med students are good if they are net neutral in terms of team efficiency.
I saw my resident's notes the other day and he had pretty detailed notes on every patient in clinic, ~30 of them, plus every pt being operated on, even cases he wouldn't be scrubbing, and of course every pt on the floor. This is the big leagues, why shouldn't your residents and attendings be upset if you aren't as prepared as they are? They're sure as hell busier than you with a lot more responsibility.
I saw my resident's notes the other day and he had pretty detailed notes on every patient in clinic, ~30 of them, plus every pt being operated on, even cases he wouldn't be scrubbing, and of course every pt on the floor. This is the big leagues, why shouldn't your residents and attendings be upset if you aren't as prepared as they are? They're sure as hell busier than you with a lot more responsibility.
So everyone who keeps telling second years that third year is better is full of ****. Major cow sized ****. Sorry its longer hours, you still have to study and now people yell at you and treat you badly. Secondly you're finally exposed to the fast black hole that is medical politics, and of course insurance bull****. So honestly I can say if you don't find year one and year two to be good, third year is not the saving grace others say it is. It's just "different".
Today (Monday) I was yelled at for instance for not coming in on a Sunday to read the OR schedule. Because obviously I should take my one day off and come back to the hospital, I mean what was I thinking?
Probably about trying to have a life...
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well that your problem. Hold in there you will get through it, you made it this far. Second year blows, especially around the end of it. The pre-clinical years are tough, the endless studying, endless tests, the stress of step I and 3rd year on the horizon - its stressful and can wear you down, It did for me. But now is not the time to make any big decisions.
Third year is more manageable and you get a small taste of what your future career is like. If after third year you are still miserable, then you may be on to something, but you should still stick it out to graduation b/c 4th year is as good as it gets.
Ha ha ha!
You haven't even LEARNED anything yet! How can you think that medicine isn't for you when you've almost never seen an actual patient?
Third year is SWEET! And if you have no friends, don't sweat it. I really only have one friend in my actual class. The rest drink too much, and I don't really have much in common with them.
One of the best part of M3 is that you get to meet new people, too!
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third year is terrible, especially if you already have an idea of what you want to do going into it.
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I'm not in medical school yet, so maybe I'll get scArlet lettered for making this comment, but all I can say is don't ignore your feelings because as painful as it may be to think about the amount of time, effort and moolah you've put into your education, your instincts are there for a reason. I moved halfway across the country, ready to begin grad school in another state, but I had this nagging feeling that it wasn't where I was supposed to be and I "ignored it, pushed it away, and kept trying to justify it". Well, it didn't go away! Three months later, after leasing and furnishing an entire apartment, paying my $125 admission fee, and securing my financial aid mind you, I withdrew my admissions, packed my bags and came back home to go to grad school locally so I could save $$ and prepare for med school. I had this "treacherous feeling" that I was in the wrong program. I don't regret my decision one bit!
I'm definitely not telling you to quit, but be 100% honest with yourself because at the end of the day, no other med student, resident, professor, friends, or family member can go through the experience for you. Make sure you're doing it b/c you reallyyyy want to and if you find it difficult to pinpoint your motivation, then you've got a decision to make. Maybe you're meant to be the next American Idol!!!
And if you are feeling burned out, seek some self-care for yourself (stress management, therapy, etc) because burnout is real and a b!@tch at any stage. I wish you the best!!
I'm definitely not telling you to quit, but be 100% honest with yourself because at the end of the day, no other med student, resident, professor, friends, or family member can go through the experience for you. Make sure you're doing it b/c you reallyyyy want to and if you find it difficult to pinpoint your motivation, then you've got a decision to make. Maybe you're meant to be the next American Idol!!!
And if you are feeling burned out, seek some self-care for yourself (stress management, therapy, etc) because burnout is real and a b!@tch at any stage. I wish you the best!!
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I think it's what you make of it... I've wanted to do rads since before I started med school but ive enjoyed all the rotations I've been on, even IM lol (even though after my sub-I, I'm never gonna do it again), if anything trying to find parallels between what you're doing and what you find interesting helps.
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I've enjoyed 3rd year a lot more than 2nd year and I decided on rads relatively early.
Of course there are aspects of it that I hate but I've learned a lot this year and have been gaining important skills and knowledge
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If debt is not an issue for you and you can walk away now, you should seriously consider it. The exclusiveness that medicine has established in your life will not end. It will be a constant struggle to stay abreast the rest of the world. It will continue to be difficult to know how to socially interact about things outside of medicine. It is possible, but it is something that has too be worked on, like a job of its own.
If you see that you can enjoy something else in your life... leave now. Don't look back. Enjoy it. One of the over riding lessons I have seen in medicine is how other people live their lifes, and in the world of psychiatry I ask on a regular basis to suicidal people "what do you live for?". The answers to that question are always family, friends, and loved ones. The things in life that bring happiness and bring joy are not exclusive to a career in medicine - it can be found else where and more readily.
Pursue happiness and what brings you peace. Anything else is just pissing away your life. Think hard and long. Walking away is not a failure, but the first day of the rest of your happy life. Think about it. Listen to your inner self.
If you see that you can enjoy something else in your life... leave now. Don't look back. Enjoy it. One of the over riding lessons I have seen in medicine is how other people live their lifes, and in the world of psychiatry I ask on a regular basis to suicidal people "what do you live for?". The answers to that question are always family, friends, and loved ones. The things in life that bring happiness and bring joy are not exclusive to a career in medicine - it can be found else where and more readily.
Pursue happiness and what brings you peace. Anything else is just pissing away your life. Think hard and long. Walking away is not a failure, but the first day of the rest of your happy life. Think about it. Listen to your inner self.
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I'm a 1st year and I feel the same as the OP, like certain parts of my brain are atrophied. I feel like I am no longer able to experience optimism about the future, trust my intuition, perform dynamic problem solving, or even interact with people in a normal way. It's kind of like being tortured with no hope of escape. Eventually you just withdraw and become vacant. The "awkwardness" mentioned by the OP, to me, is the manifestation of this withdrawal. I just question how readily I will bounce back, if at all.
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MedChic-
Have no idea how I stumbled upon this thread, but your post hit a lil' soft spot in me and made me come out of a 3 year SDN hiatus. First off, I'm really sorry you're feeling like this. I hope you get it all sorted out. I'm a 3rd year now, and I've felt that way for a big chunk of my time in med school. The things you're talking about- feeling 1 dimensional in life, not being able to let the BS go, feeling like you're surrounded by people of a different breed of people, etc.... If its any comfort you're not alone.
I don't know your debt situation, but if you can financially afford to leave, and have a solid plan B, then now is the time to do it. Don't wait. In retrospect, and knowing what I know now, I would've gone the PA route in a heartbeat. But I can't as I'm too deep in debt now. Don't get me wrong, its a privilege to be a medical student, and I'm still quite happy, but I never imagined my life being this 1-dimensional. Theres a lot more out in life, and it scares to hell out of me to think I might wind up like some of these surgeons who live in the hospital except when they take their yearly 2 week week 'vacation in can' trip to appease the family.
And I will say this: it got a lot better in 3rd year for me, and hopefully it will for you too if you decide to stick it out. I think just simply not being surrounded by other medical students and working with a broader group of people made all the difference. Nurses are fun people. As are patients. So have confidence in yourself no matter what road you end up taking.
And finally, if you do press on, pick a specialty that lets you see some daylight and doesn't attract the egos. Anesthesia, Rads, Psych, EM, Family, PM&R, are all good ones off the top of my head.
Good Luck!
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My wife's a third year. It doesn't get better. You have far less time, far less control of your time, and you have to put up with rude people.
2nd year you feel like you're at the top of the student totem pole (compared to the undergrads, the first years). You feel like you're learning things and becoming a doctor. By third year, you're suddenly the lowest on a new totem pole for the next decade, and you realize most of the stuff you thought you were learning and oh so relevant aren't actually useful and that you've forgotten the few useful bits as well.
Medicine is like some curse where you are born again and again, but never reach an age when you can enjoy the fruits of your toils, before you get reincarnated as a gnat again.
2nd year you feel like you're at the top of the student totem pole (compared to the undergrads, the first years). You feel like you're learning things and becoming a doctor. By third year, you're suddenly the lowest on a new totem pole for the next decade, and you realize most of the stuff you thought you were learning and oh so relevant aren't actually useful and that you've forgotten the few useful bits as well.
Medicine is like some curse where you are born again and again, but never reach an age when you can enjoy the fruits of your toils, before you get reincarnated as a gnat again.
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Thanks for this advice. This has been on of the recurring themes for me in med school--that of feeling like I don't fit in, and simply don't have a big enough ego to be here. So if I am hearing you correctly, it gets better when you don't have to be around med students all the time? Wherever I go I seem to get along with everyone *except* med students. From the nurses all the way to the janitors, I'm fine with them.
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the personalities get a lot more nasty during the clinical years, at least in my experience. med students should be the least of your worries.
D
deleted263296
I hate medical school. I have hated it pretty much since day one and the clinical years have only been worse. I have done well nevertheless so I can get into a lifestyle specialty. But the first opportunity I have to get out of medicine, I will take it. Be that through business ventures, real estate, or stock trading.
I don't mind the amount of work medical school entails. I hate the busy mind-numbing work of inpatient medicine, the nasty personalities that overshadow the nice ones, the constant public humiliation, and the gunnerish medical students and residents.
I don't mind the amount of work medical school entails. I hate the busy mind-numbing work of inpatient medicine, the nasty personalities that overshadow the nice ones, the constant public humiliation, and the gunnerish medical students and residents.
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I'm just finishing up my first year and I'm kinda hating it, too. And it always ends up making me feel guilty, because I know there are so many people who would kill to be in my position. I do enjoy patient interaction and shadowing, though. I keep telling myself that preclinical years are not a reflection of the day to day job and life of an established physician, and that this time shall pass. Hang in there--wait till you've escaped preclinical years before you walk away from this. Otherwise you may wonder/regret your decision to leave (if that is what you decide) and never know what could have been. You've come this far--it would be such a shame if you threw it all away just before the good part! Stay strong.
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For me it definitely got better when I started working around a broader group of folks. It seemed there was a lot more to hang your hat on and find satisfaction in vs. just living from test score to test score and feeling like you're reliving high school part deux.
And sure you're pretty much useless as a third year med student in the wards (or at least I am!) .... but having a sense of humor about it and rolling with the punches helps. Appreciating the small stuff- shootin' the chit with patients, getting to sew up a lac in the ED, etc... Its fun. And its certainly is more fulfilling to me than the first two years. I had some dark days back then.
But definitely take what I say with a grain of salt...as it seems a lot of others on here have a different perspective as well. Overall I'd say I probably came off a little harsh in my earlier tone, but a good chunk of medical students can be some of the biggest brown nosing, narcissistic, uninteresting folks out there. I think someone said it well earlier...remember that they are not why you're there. Sounds like you can carry a conversation and get along with a diverse array of folks, and in my opinion that's half of doing well in 3rd year.
PS- Portland Rocks! Hang on to that location while you can!
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It is what you make of it... if you take initiative and be useful, intelligent people will give you more responsibility (obviously there are a TON of dbags around, but there's a decent amount of smart and good folks around) it's just you realize how set in their ways and how big of egos people have, but then again you just have to deal with it unless you can perpetuate it
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Highroller,
I truly hope 3rd year is less like high school. I've never actually had the public school experience but I guess I never experienced people selectively only interacting with certain members of their group, so now I do the same just because every time I breach boundaries I feel like I'm disturbing some weird sense of equilibrium. It's amazing how people are set in their ways, even socially here - it's like people really like to cling to what they know. People even have self-assigned exam seats. I think it really affected my personality. I can't help feeling like I'm going crazy, yet every time I go outside of this environment I "magically" transform into myself. I really, really hope it's just school and not actual medicine making me feel like a freak. Otherwise, I'm getting out as soon as I can and exploring options.
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Thanks for this. As much as I love the encouraging posts to stay and not quit, a part of me still feels like my heart is no longer fully in this and I'm not sure if it's the second year depression others are talking about or a realization that I don't belong here and don't fit in.
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I liked 3rd year, in general. That said, here are some common complaints:
1) you have lots of busy work, no real responsibility, and constantly feel like everyone is going out of their way to allow you to do something totally useless and you need to thank them for it.
2) everyone who is having bad day can sht on you and you can't do anything about it but smile and ask for another.
3) long hours, lots of studying, your grades actually matter.
4) if you have already decided on a specialty, you're potentially doing lots of stuff that has absolutely no relevance to your future career but have to act interested and/or pretend you want to do a specialty if you want a decent evaluation.
the list goes on and on but that's a good start.
D
deleted263296
There is no way to summarize all the things that are wrong with it. I know that the major source of all my discontent lies in the fact that I am a reserved, introverted person and this personality is punished big time. Some major examples I can think of...
You are expected to take initiative and care about your patients when you have no responsibility for or impact on their care.
You are expected to maintaine peak intellectual curiosity for all specialties at all times or will face the wrath of an evaluation that says nothing else except "this student was not interested so deserves to be marginalized with a bad grade" no matter how competently you performed your duties
You are expected to ask for feedback, people don't offer it voluntarily except for surgeons
You will be expected to be quiet and do your job by some attendings but expected to ask any and all questions that come to mind by others; you have to constantly alter your way of interacting
Your grades matter but are hard to control for the above mentioned reasons
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Honey, everyone feels that way at some point. I would say, worst case scenario, at least get the degree, and use the MD for something else. There's about a thousand things you can do with it
Educating poor people around the world, consultancy, working for a partnership, business, hospital administration, driving to patients homes that are bedridden, becoming a counselor/public speaker to high school students, educating people about HIV/AIDS etc, research, publications, journals, abstracts, giving presentations at grand rounds, etc.
The possibilities are endless
Educating poor people around the world, consultancy, working for a partnership, business, hospital administration, driving to patients homes that are bedridden, becoming a counselor/public speaker to high school students, educating people about HIV/AIDS etc, research, publications, journals, abstracts, giving presentations at grand rounds, etc.
The possibilities are endless
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It's completely unlike high school; more like being in the "trenches." You're stuck interacting with and/or working with other med students who you might otherwise never interact with, and the common struggle is a powerful bonding agent. I didn't love every med student I worked with but I definitely made a couple friends that wouldn't have expected from my first 2 years.
I'm incredulous that 3rd year is behind me, and it was pretty much as tough as everyone told me it would be. It was emotionally draining more than anything. You get used to the constant pimping, the yelling, the awkwardness of not knowing wtf you're supposed to be doing, but by then you're spiritually numb and it becomes extremely difficult to put on a smile and pretend you'd really, really love to go disimpact that guy for the 3rd time this week. But you ****ing make it work and bust your ass like a soldier, which just makes it more tragic when you get your evals back and it's clear they've confused you with a classmate, and/or that attending who had nothing but good things to say to your face has finally found some time for some constructive criticism.
Then again, I feel like I can fake being a doctor pretty convincingly by this point. So if you're going to get into the quackery/confidence man game, I suggest toughing it out at least through 3rd year.
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Up till now I have been on here once since starting med school. I had forgotten all the negativity on these boards - which was the reason I never got on here after making my final decision on schools- alas, book buying questions sucked me back on.
To all the terrified people reading this thread -- I'm just finishing first year and I have to say it has (surprisingly) been the best year of my life. Sure I spend a lot of time studying. Sure there's a lot of frustrating things about how medical education is conducted. But I really and truly enjoy it - a lot. Which is funny because going in I anticipated the whole experience to be significantly worse. I thought I would have absolutely no life, I thought that my classmates would be drunken jerks (well, the drunken part might apply to a good percentage of them), I thought that I would get saggy and fat and pale from sitting in a library all day. Shoot, I still play piano, I'm training for a few triathlons, I spend plenty of time with my wife, I hang out with classmates, I rock climb on weekends that aren't before tests. Things are much, much better than I initially thought they would be. Now, to be sure I'm not the top student in my class - but I'm doing better than I thought I would and exerting less brute effort than I thought I would to be in my position.
Obviously, I totally cannot speak for second year or third year, and I'm pretty sure everyone knows fourth year is pretty sweet. I just try to study efficiently, stay on top of things, and use tons of different resources to ensure I understand as much as possible of the stuff I'm cramming in my brain. I also ensure that I spend time devoted to things other than medicine that make me happy. I worked two jobs senior year of undergrad along with studying for the MCAT and doing research though, so being able to just focus my energies on one subject at a time has been quite refreshing. Also, one of those jobs consisted of 12-hr night shifts every Friday and Saturday for two years. It was awesome to get to experience a weekend again once I started med school!
I really really hate that you are having such a miserable time and I wish I could offer you some advice. On the bright side... summer is quickly approaching! Maybe it will afford you an opportunity to recharge.
To the scared applicants or recently accepted folks - I can say pretty darn confidently that it seems the vast majority of people I spend a significant amount of time around in my class are enjoying the med school experience as a whole. Our class is very tight knit. Although, our year does have a reputation of being way more chill and laid back than the other three years. Med school's what you make of it. Try your best to enjoy what you're learning and try to enjoy the people who are going through all of it with you. Study smart and hard. A lot of folks don't do this in my class and got/get into trouble. They study in little groups and don't really crack down and focus, or they try to just read things over and over again without really making any connections as to why it's important (and thus memorable). Thus when I'm heading home to go to bed, they're just getting back from getting coffee to pull an all-nighter. I also would highly recommend studying without a computer-- this saves me so much time that it's totally worth not being able to quickly look at uptodate, epocrates, or wikipedia.
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Why do people always say that? Fourth year was definitely sweet, but also pretty challenging, at least prior to the match. It's not a walk in the park that some may make it out to be. It is what you make of it, and, of course, it helps to have 3 years of medical school behind you (and you now know the game), so you are ready and well-prepared for for it. Fourth year consists of a lot of electives, some of which are lighter, but they aren't all easy and carefree. I had some of my most difficult rotations during fourth year, including CC/ICU, EM/Urgent Care, and Cardiology, and some of my easiest (but also informative), for example, Radiology and Anesthesiology (mini-vacation). For the most part, at least in my experience, everyone expects you to act like an Intern and know what you are doing, even though, at first, it's still a bit of a stretch. It's more of the same, as third year, but you have to add the additional stress of boards, interviews, away rotations, and preparing for the match. The months leading up to the match can be pretty nerve-wracking. What's cool though, is that everything is pass/fail during fourth year.
After the match, though, it's pretty sweet and much more laid-back, especially combined with a healthy dose of Senioritis. You can kick back somewhat, and you know the game very well (and feel on top of it), until graduation (this is the part that everyone remembers, probably). At least that's how it went for me. I had a great time during my third and fourth years, and now feel like I can at least "play" a doctor pretty well. Felt more like a doctor in fourth year and got to get more involved in management than I ever have. I felt that my preceptors gave me a lot more freedom, but expected more also. What a gratifying feeling. I know this feeling is fleeting, since in a couple of months, I will be back to zero, as an Intern. That's how it goes in learning medicine, though.
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Oh I have no doubts that it'll be challenging. I say that it'll be sweet because the M4s that have taught my small group our physical exam "skills" (hard to type that without snickering) are very enthusiastic about how nice it is to have some semblance of control over scheduling, how nice it is to pick electives that interest you, and how nice it is to not be totally clueless about pretty much everything- like they felt most/all of third year.
And ever since match day... I've seen maybe two M4s, and that was as they left the hospital around lunchtime... the rest are at the beach i'm pretty sure.
