Sample Oral Boards Questions

[Birdstrike]

A gunman enters your ER ....

Let me modify your hypothetical scenario slightly, for the ethics portion of oral Boards next year:

A gunman (uninsured) looking for the admin office accidentally enters your ER while you are on duty 5 minutes before your night shift (7 of 7) ends, at a time that your waiting room is 30 patients deep, on a night the department coffee machine is filled with decaf. He opens fire, killing and wounding several people, one of whom is your spouse who works as a nurse there, and who dies 3 days prior to sending in a $500,000 life insurance packet. Your most reliable security guard Butch, who is one week from full retirement with a cushy grandfathered-in pension, and who happens to also mow your lawn insanely well for an un-frickin-believably low price, heroically takes him down with a sleeper-hold, yet due to the intensity of the struggle combined with his underlying coronary disease, flatlines in the process, leaving you with absolutely no lawn guy post-nights in mid-summer. Despite your ambivalence, you stay over shift and save the life of the intruder because from your disaster training, you determine that amongst all of the victims he is younger, still has vital signs and is clearly is the most salvageable, plus with EMTALA and being single coverage you're stuck (and you could use the RVUs). Amazingly, he lives to discharge, with fully intact neuro-status, however, in his Press-Ganey survey he dings you for not thinking to give him a Sierra mist, meal tray and Vicodin 6-pack to go like you gave "the homeless dude with a toothache" in the room next to his. Your ED director, who's trippin' balls 'cause C-suite has been all over his @ss lately due to metrics and volume being down 2 weeks before contract negotiations peak, confronts you. What's your next step?




"Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed -- most peculiar, mama" - Nobody Told Me, John Lennon

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[bad virus]

I was at an elementary school giving a talk for my baby brothers class and as usual, the conversation eventually transitioned to: "So what do you want to do when you grow up?"

"House Husband" was the smooth reply I gave back to the 9 year old who asked it.

My answer was very well rehearsed and practiced. Unlike most other adults who bury their dreams deep under their 9-5, SUV and white picket fence, my dream was still alive and well and being planned for.

See, while other kids dreamed of space and police cruisers, I fantasized about warm breezy afternoons on a Florida shoreline in a Villa, quietly skimming my wife's Olympic sized pool while working on my fantastic tan. My days would be spent carving out my chiseled abs, voluminous bi's and ,Arnold like pecs, while sipping of fruity concoctions, waiting for my powerful neurosurgeon/CEO of a fortune 500 wife.

While children idolized Buzz Aldrin, I looked up to K-Fed and what he achieved in such a short period of time.

The goal of every successful husband is to marry a beautiful woman at her peak (like Britney Spears), have two children from her and then divorce her and take them away from her along with half her wealth and sanity, and then get fat and comfortable for the rest of your life.

Here's to you K-Fed, oh king of men. Not all of us can be as brilliant and successful as you, but at least you showed us what can be done with a set of great abs, good looks and a descent smile.

******

In regards to the above post. Dood killed butch!?!!?! Nuff said. I don't know if you've ever had to mow a lawn in Houston during the summer, but it sucks? For that, you should have given the man a few love taps to the temple/hyoid with the tip of your steel toe. Remember, just the tip.

 

[glorfindel]

A gunman (uninsured) looking for the admin office accidentally enters your ER while you are on duty 5 minutes before your night shift (7 of 7) ends, at a time that your waiting room is 30 patients deep, on a night the department coffee machine is filled with decaf. He opens fire, killing and wounding several people, one of whom is your spouse who works as a nurse there, and who dies 3 days prior to sending in a $500,000 life insurance packet. Your most reliable security guard Butch, who is one week from full retirement with a cushy grandfathered-in pension, and who happens to also mow your lawn insanely well for an un-frickin-believably low price, heroically takes him down with a sleeper-hold, yet due to the intensity of the struggle combined with his underlying coronary disease, flatlines in the process, leaving you with absolutely no lawn guy post-nights in mid-summer. Despite your ambivalence, you stay over shift and save the life of the intruder because from your disaster training, you determine that amongst all of the victims he is younger, still has vital signs and is clearly is the most salvageable, plus with EMTALA and being single coverage you're stuck (and you could use the RVUs). Amazingly, he lives to discharge, with fully intact neuro-status, however, in his Press-Ganey survey he dings you for not thinking to give him a Sierra mist, meal tray and Vicodin 6-pack to go like you gave "the homeless dude with a toothache" in the room next to his. Your ED director, who's trippin' balls 'cause C-suite has been all over his @ss lately due to metrics and volume being down 2 weeks before contract negotiations peak, confronts you. What's your next step?

Awesomer hypothetical!

In order:

1) Retain assistance of counsel to sue for declaratory judgment against Butch's next-of-kin, that they have no negligence or conflict-of-interest claim against you for Butch's untimely demise in the above sad events.

2) Relate the following (or resonable paraphrase) to ED director, followed up with certified letter reiterating same: "You're welcome for acting in the best interest of the hospital in the recent unfortunate incident. It can be emotionally and physically difficult in some scenarios to adhere to the letter and spirit of EMTALA, but clearly I have demonstrated that I am up to the challenge. Consider whether others on your roster would have performed equally well in similar circumstances. XOXO, Glorfindel

PS: In return for my continued services to your department I will be willing to negotiate a substantial decrease in the number of night shifts on my schedule and/or a 20% increase in my night differential and/or a substantial lawn-care stipend.

 

[bad virus]

Awesomer hypothetical!

In order:

1) Retain assistance of counsel to sue for declaratory judgment against Butch's next-of-kin, that they have no negligence or conflict-of-interest claim against you for Butch's untimely demise in the above sad events.

2) Relate the following (or resonable paraphrase) to ED director, followed up with certified letter reiterating same: "You're welcome for acting in the best interest of the hospital in the recent unfortunate incident. It can be emotionally and physically difficult in some scenarios to adhere to the letter and spirit of EMTALA, but clearly I have demonstrated that I am up to the challenge. Consider whether others on your roster would have performed equally well in similar circumstances. XOXO, Glorfindel

PS: In return for my continued services to your department I will be willing to negotiate a substantial decrease in the number of night shifts on my schedule and/or a 20% increase in my night differential and/or a substantial lawn-care stipend.

Ditto, on the lawn care stipend.

 

[glorfindel]

See, while other kids dreamed of space and police cruisers, I fantasized about warm breezy afternoons on a Florida shoreline in a Villa, quietly skimming my wife's Olympic sized pool while working on my fantastic tan.

A worthy goal.

Even better if your wife is so interesting that you both stay happily married to each other until you're both killed and eaten by gorillas on an African safari in your mid-90s.

No SNF for you.

 

[bad virus]

A worthy goal.

Even better if your wife is so interesting that you both stay happily married to each other until you're both killed and eaten by gorillas on an African safari in your mid-90s.

No SNF for you.

Yes,this, I've seen Congo and you're totally right. Quick and merciful.

 

[RustedFox]

Yes,this, I've seen Congo and you're totally right. Quick and merciful.

Whoooaaa... brought me back to age 13.


...


Maaan.

 

[Birdstrike]

Okay, at least three people on planet Earth thought my mock oral boards question was funny:

dsoz, badvirus and glorfindel, you clearly rock!?@$#%€

And by the way, Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays to everyone!

(How's that for political correctness?)