Sexual harassment from interviewer

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ErzaScarlet

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Hi SDN,

So I have an issue, and I am mainly looking for the input of Adcom members, though I suppose advice from anyone is welcome. About a year ago I was at a party and was the victim of sexual harassment. A friend of my brother kept grabbing my boobs and groin and followed me around the whole night while making lewd comments about what he wanted to do to me. Later that night, when almost everyone had left, he cornered me in the garage and tried to force me to kiss him. I struck him hard in the face and that seemed to snap him out of it. He kind of laughed and slapped me on the butt, but he left the house after that. The whole incident left me upset and angry, but I didn't report it to anyone.
Fast forward to the present where I saw him again, this time as one of my student interviewers...I am really torn about what I should do. Should I report him to the school? I had no idea this individual was a medical student, and I am very concerned that he may abuse patients one day. On the other hand, I don't want to create such a ruckus that I am denied from the school. On the other other hand, who am I to ruin a young man's life for one night of stupid behavior? I would especially appreciate the input of @gyngyn @Goro @LizzyM @mimelim

Thank you

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No, please don't. Not that I think anything would be done about your report in the first place.
 
No, please don't. Not that I think anything would be done about your report in the first place.
Wouldn't this fall under "unethical behavior?" I dunno, AdCom members are going to have to comment on this one smh
 
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Probably the stupid question of the night, but is there any way to change dates, which could mean you end up getting another interviewer?
 
Probably the stupid question of the night, but is there any way to change dates, which could mean you end up getting another interviewer?
Sounds like she already had the interview.
 
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Wouldn't this fall under "unethical behavior?" I dunno, AdCom members are going to have to comment on this one smh
Textbook he said, she said though.
 
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Y'know, i expect that Erza Scarlet would be a lot more empowering and powerful young woman, enough to one-shot the student interviewer with ease for what he had done to you :naughty::naughty:

In all seriousness, this is a difficult and troubling scenario. You didn't report him when this incident happened so it's difficult to present your case effectively right now. Even if you accuse him of sexual assault privately to the adcom, you don't have much concrete evidence now since the long duration weakens your case.

I hope adcoms can prove my statement wrong
 
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Textbook he said, she said though.
It was in full view of at least two dozen people (except for the last part.) If I need people to come forward to substantiate my claims, I can do that. Why don't you think I should report it?
 
I'm sorry you experienced this, OP. And the fact that he was your brother's "friend" certainly adds salt to the wound...
 
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I'm sorry you experienced this, OP. And the fact that he was your brother's "friend" certainly adds salt to the wound...
If this were my "friend" doing this to my little sister, ho boy...
 
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Isn't it the interviewer's responsibility to report to the administration prior to the interview if they have been assigned to interview someone they already know? I'm a volunteer interviewer for my undergraduate institution and they absolutely forbid us to interview people we are already acquainted with in anyway whatsoever
 
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It was in full view of at least two dozen people (except for the last part.) If I need people to come forward to substantiate my claims, I can do that. Why don't you think I should report it?

Now i'm curious how he got away with this when he applied to medical school. Pretty sure with strong evidence presented to the adcoms, the student interviewer will likely be removed from the position and expelled in the best case. In the worst case, well, adcoms will just throw your complaint down the trash. But an applicant filing a complaint against a student interviewer on serious charges like sexual assault will be taken seriously so it can lead to a lot of complications

If this were my "friend" doing this to my little sister, ho boy...

I'm curious what OP's brother was doing during this incident.
 
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Isn't it the interviewer's responsibility to report to the administration prior to the interview if they have been assigned to interview someone they already know? I'm a volunteer interviewer for my undergraduate institution and they absolutely forbid us to interview people we are already acquainted with in anyway whatsoever
My name is a very common asian name, and he has only met me the one time. It probably just didn't click for him.
 
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Hi SDN,

So I have an issue, and I am mainly looking for the input of Adcom members, though I suppose advice from anyone is welcome. About a year ago I was at a party and was the victim of sexual harassment. A friend of my brother kept grabbing my boobs and groin and followed me around the whole night while making lewd comments about what he wanted to do to me. Later that night, when almost everyone had left, he cornered me in the garage and tried to force me to kiss him. I struck him hard in the face and that seemed to snap him out of it. He kind of laughed and slapped me on the butt, but he left the house after that. The whole incident left me upset and angry, but I didn't report it to anyone.
Fast forward to the present where I saw him again, this time as one of my student interviewers...I am really torn about what I should do. Should I report him to the school? I had no idea this individual was a medical student, and I am very concerned that he may abuse patients one day. On the other hand, I don't want to create such a ruckus that I am denied from the school. On the other other hand, who am I to ruin a young man's life for one night of stupid behavior? I would especially appreciate the input of @gyngyn @Goro @LizzyM @mimelim

Thank you
Wow, what would this guy possibly do to his female patients in the future?!
 
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Why don't you think I should report it?
As inexcusable as his actions were, I don't think it's fair to try and ruin someones life based on the events of one evening that was successfully halted by your good response. You mention you've only met him once, ever. You don't know what he is actually like.
I'm guessing alcohol was also involved.
Now i'm curious how he got away with this when he applied to medical school. Pretty sure with strong evidence presented to the adcoms, the student interviewer will likely be removed from the position and expelled in the best case. In the worst case, well, adcoms will just throw your complaint down the trash. But an applicant filing a complaint against a student interviewer on serious charges like sexual assault will be taken seriously so it can lead to a lot of complications
Okay I think this is an overreaction here, this happens on a weekly basis at pretty much every college and in scenarios where nothing substantive happened this is not an earth-shattering accusation.

As much as I hate to say this current docs, especially those who were social in UG, probably have had drunken hookups. Much less drunkenly coming onto someone before being rejected.
 
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Now i'm curious how he got away with this when he applied to medical school. Pretty sure with strong evidence presented to the adcoms, the student interviewer will likely be removed from the position and expelled in the best case. In the worst case, well, adcoms will just throw your complaint down the trash. But an applicant filing a complaint against a student interviewer on serious charges like sexual assault will be taken seriously so it can lead to a lot of complications



I'm curious what OP's brother was doing during this incident.
I know! This is the main reason I am hesitating.

He wasn't there.
 
As inexcusable as his actions were, I don't think it's fair to try and ruin someones life based on the events of one evening that was successfully halted by your good response. You mention you've only met him once, ever. You don't know what he is actually like.
I'm guessing alcohol was also involved.

Okay I think this is an overreaction here, this happens on a weekly basis at pretty much every college and in scenarios where nothing substantive happened this is not an earth-shattering accusation.

As much as I hate to say this current docs, especially those who were social in UG, probably have had drunken hookups. Much less drunkenly coming onto someone before being rejected.
If I send a man after you to drunkenly grab your genitals for an hour is that a "come-on?" I have to go to school for a while, I will check the thread when I come back. Thank you everyone for your input.
 
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Okay I think this is an overreaction here, this happens on a weekly basis at pretty much every college and in scenarios where nothing substantive happened this is not an earth-shattering accusation.

As much as I hate to say this current docs, especially those who were social in UG, probably have had drunken hookups. Much less drunkenly coming onto someone before being rejected.

Not really an overreaction but just pointing out that a complaint from an applicant accusing a student interviewer of sexual assault isn't something adcoms will brush away.
 
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Report him to the admissions committee. It sounds like he actually interviewed you personally, right? Did you sense that he recognized you? He might throw you under the bus to cover up his own past behavior. I'm sorry you had to endure that, OP. It's always really disturbing when people don't understand what "no" means.
 
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If he did it in front of 12 people at a party then no one probably cared except you.

I'm always up for ruining other people's lives though so you should go for it.

I really doubt he'll be expelled for an unreported groping, if thats what you're aiming for though.
 
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First off, let me state point blank that I am NOT an AdCom -- But you need to report it. If your description of his behavior is factually accurate and not embellished for emphasis, you need to report it.

Write an email to the Admissions Dean. Back it up with a paper letter; but do email now for timeliness. State your case plainly - as above. State that you were shocked to encounter this young man at your interview as you did not realize he was a medical student, and that you expect what you are about to say will torpedo your admissions chances at this school. (Though frankly, I don't think it will.) State that there were witnesses to some of the behavior, and that if the school chooses to investigate, you will be happy to provide contact information as you realize this is a serious charge.

But this IS a serious charge. And that was serious misconduct. Seriously unprofessional conduct that endangers the reputation of any school that graduates such a person.
 
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If I send a man after you to drunkenly grab your genitals for a couple hours is that a "come-on?" I have to go to school for a while, I will check the thread when I come back. Thank you everyone for your input.
Like I said, it's definitely not okay and totally inexcusable, but the reality is that it happens extremely often. Have you been to frat/sports/club parties? Are you familiar with the effects of alcohol?

I mean, for all you know he could be a fine person who had too much to drink. You successfully stopped him. I think without more evidence that he's a rapey mother****er, you should just move on.
 
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If he did it in front of 12 people at a party then no one probably cared except you.

I'm always up for ruining other people's lives though so you should go for it.

I really doubt he'll be expelled for an unreported groping, if thats what you're aiming for though.

Assuming the guy hasn't ruined other peoples' lives already.
 
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Let's be clear. You were not sexually harassed. You were sexually assaulted. I'm with @DokterMom.
 
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Like I said, it's definitely not okay and totally inexcusable, but the reality is that it happens extremely often. Have you been to frat/sports/club parties? Are you familiar with the effects of alcohol?

I mean, for all you know he could be a fine person who had too much to drink. You successfully stopped him. I think without more evidence that he's a rapey mother****er, you should just move on.

I've been drunk off my mind a few times...never got rapey though. What kind of stuff have you been drinking?
 
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Like I said, it's definitely not okay and totally inexcusable, but the reality is that it happens extremely often. Have you been to frat/sports/club parties? Are you familiar with the effects of alcohol?

Because its commons means it shouldnt be reported?...

I am a male, if I were in that position, i would report him. I hate frats and males in general who think they can get away with that ****.

Its sexual assault. The type of person who treats others like that is not doing so on a temporary basis.
 
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Like I said, it's definitely not okay and totally inexcusable, but the reality is that it happens extremely often. Have you been to frat/sports/club parties? Are you familiar with the effects of alcohol?

I mean, for all you know he could be a fine person who had too much to drink. You successfully stopped him. I think without more evidence that he's a rapey mother****er, you should just move on.
Being intoxicated doesn't excuse other bad behavior like DUI. Why should it here? I won't tell the OP what to do one way or another, but I don't think we can safely say that his behavior isn't a reflection of his personality.
 
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First off, let me state point blank that I am NOT an AdCom -- But you need to report it. If your description of his behavior is factually accurate and not embellished for emphasis, you need to report it.

Write an email to the Admissions Dean. Back it up with a paper letter; but do email now for timeliness. State your case plainly - as above. State that you were shocked to encounter this young man at your interview as you did not realize he was a medical student, and that you expect what you are about to say will torpedo your admissions chances at this school. (Though frankly, I don't think it will.) State that there were witnesses to some of the behavior, and that if the school chooses to investigate, you will be happy to provide contact information as you realize this is a serious charge.

But this IS a serious charge. And that was serious misconduct. Seriously unprofessional conduct that endangers the reputation of any school that graduates such a person.
Let's be clear. You were not sexually harassed. You were sexually assaulted. I'm @DokterMom.

Yeah i was hesitant in taking a stance here but given what is being presented, this was a sexual assault that happened not too long ago. Partying/drinking or not, it's a serious crime to sexually assault someone and the student interviewer will be a danger.

File the report OP.
 
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As inexcusable as his actions were, I don't think it's fair to try and ruin someones life based on the events of one evening that was successfully halted by your good response. You mention you've only met him once, ever. You don't know what he is actually like.
I'm guessing alcohol was also involved.

Okay I think this is an overreaction here, this happens on a weekly basis at pretty much every college and in scenarios where nothing substantive happened this is not an earth-shattering accusation.

As much as I hate to say this current docs, especially those who were social in UG, probably have had drunken hookups. Much less drunkenly coming onto someone before being rejected.

She is not trying to ruin his life. She is considering reporting him for egregiously bad conduct that he did all on his own that has the potential to ruin his own life. It's like cheating on an exam. His conduct, not hers, will either have the appropriate repercussions or not.

A drunken hookup is one thing. An unwelcome advance, even a persistent one, is tolerable up to a point. Having someone actually grab your breasts, crotch and buttocks is sexual assault - physical, and criminal - and that goes way over the "drunken party boys will be boys" line. Way over the line.

"You don't know what he is actually like?"

You mean, when he's not drunkenly assaulting young women? Sorry, I know that his moral compass is not set correctly, and that's enough for me.
 
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Perhaps my UG's campus culture was just over the top masochistic. Since I seem to be the only dissenting opinion here, I will yield to the majority.

But I am under no delusions. This literally happens everywhere and is probably more common than studying on college campuses.
 
I really don't think you can do anything. It was a year ago. You didn't file a police report. I doubt you even could now.
His behavior was unacceptable, but there's really nothing to back you up or in any way prove that what you say is true.
For all the adcoms know, you're an old girlfriend looking to get back at your ex.

I could probably find 15 friends to vouch that I personally know President Obama. Doesn't make it true, just means that I have 15 friends.

There was a thread over in the Pre-DO board that had almost exactly this scenario. Some guy thought that an old friend with whom he had had a falling out was going to send a nasty letter to all the schools to which the first guy had applied.
Consensus was (and some adcoms chimed in) that adcoms would throw any letter in the trash if it was unsubstantiated and come from another student.
 
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Just because it's common does not make it right. I mean I doubt you still can go to the police, but at the very least this is a conflict of interest that affects your interview performance/report. I'll defer to adcoms though
 
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I'm with @md-2020, you guys must not hang out with a lot of college students... This kind of thing is very common at frat parties. I'll bet a few of the offenders are premeds too. It's not right, but the majority of the time people move on with their lives. Like OP would've done if she had never seen him again.
 
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Like I said, it's definitely not okay and totally inexcusable, but the reality is that it happens extremely often. Have you been to frat/sports/club parties? Are you familiar with the effects of alcohol?

I mean, for all you know he could be a fine person who had too much to drink. You successfully stopped him. I think without more evidence that he's a rapey mother****er, you should just move on.

Your opinions are dangerous and disturbing. Please stop advising young women how to deal with sexual assault.
 
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Like I said, it's definitely not okay and totally inexcusable, but the reality is that it happens extremely often. Have you been to frat/sports/club parties? Are you familiar with the effects of alcohol?

I mean, for all you know he could be a fine person who had too much to drink. You successfully stopped him. I think without more evidence that he's a rapey mother****er, you should just move on.
What a load of ****. Alcohol doesn't make decent people sexually assault others. It gives **** people confidence to sexually assault others.

Op, I think reporting it is a good idea, but in your shoes it's a tough decision to make. Good luck
 
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What the **** kind of party scene were you at, where 12 people would watch someone repeatedly molest you while you told them to stop? Any guy there with a sister or girlfriend should have felt the overwhelming urge to deck the ****er
 
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First off, let me state point blank that I am NOT an AdCom -- But you need to report it. If your description of his behavior is factually accurate and not embellished for emphasis, you need to report it.

Write an email to the Admissions Dean. Back it up with a paper letter; but do email now for timeliness. State your case plainly - as above. State that you were shocked to encounter this young man at your interview as you did not realize he was a medical student, and that you expect what you are about to say will torpedo your admissions chances at this school. (Though frankly, I don't think it will.) State that there were witnesses to some of the behavior, and that if the school chooses to investigate, you will be happy to provide contact information as you realize this is a serious charge.

But this IS a serious charge. And that was serious misconduct. Seriously unprofessional conduct that endangers the reputation of any school that graduates such a person.
OP I agree with this. Your chances may already be ruined if he sabatoges you. Reporting this may 1) bring to light that bias and 2) prevent this from happening again to others if he suffers consequences. I think it's in your best interest and your ethical responsibility to report.
 
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What the **** kind of party scene were you at, where 12 people would watch someone repeatedly molest you while you told them to stop? Any guy there with a sister or girlfriend should have felt the overwhelming urge to deck the ****er

According to some posts above, these types of things happen regularly at frat parties, where people get drunk and do stupid things. And OP's brother wasn't there in the scene
 
According to some posts above, these types of things happen regularly at frat parties, where people get drunk and do stupid things.
Yes, but I am also curious why "dozens" of people didn't feel the need to step in.
What the **** kind of party scene were you at, where 12 people would watch someone repeatedly molest you while you told them to stop? Any guy there with a sister or girlfriend should have felt the overwhelming urge to deck the ****er
 
What the **** kind of party scene were you at, where 12 people would watch someone repeatedly molest you while you told them to stop? Any guy there with a sister or girlfriend should have felt the overwhelming urge to deck the ****er
Seriously. If someone did that to my sister there's a solid chance I'd wind up in jail.
 
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Like I said, it's definitely not okay and totally inexcusable, but the reality is that it happens extremely often. Have you been to frat/sports/club parties? Are you familiar with the effects of alcohol?

I mean, for all you know he could be a fine person who had too much to drink. You successfully stopped him. I think without more evidence that he's a rapey mother****er, you should just move on.
Why the hell are you making excuses for this guy? Does it matter if he had too much to drink and "lost control" and sexually assaulted her? Most guys I know don't do that when they get drunk. This is not normal behaviour and certainly not excusable.
Op you should report him
 
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According to some posts above, these types of things happen regularly at frat parties, where people get drunk and do stupid things. And OP's brother wasn't there in the scene
I mean I've been to my share of frat and sports parties, the big issue is drugging/excessive drinking and date rape, not this kind of thing where a guy drunkenly follows a girl around grabbing her chest while she says "stop". That gets you tossed out immediately at the least

Seriously. If someone did that to my sister there's a solid chance I'd wind up in jail.
Exactly this
 
This literally happens everywhere and is probably more common than studying on college campuses.

Dear Rapist-Apologist,

Just because injustice is common doesn't make it right. Sounds like this medical student is doing his fair share of ruining other people's lives, and this incident may affect not only OP's chances of admission, but having him in a position of authority/power has also re-traumatized her. This A-hole may do this to other fellow students (whether alcohol is involved or not), peers, friends, sisters, neighbors, and women and teens.

Oh and his patients.

Please stop normalizing and excusing sexual assault. Think about if you had a sister. Or a daughter. Cousin. Or niece. One in four women has to deal with this nonsense at least once in her lifetime and maybe even more women are out there because few speak up, because people like you think it's normal.

Signed,

A survivor
 
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Yes, but I am also curious why "dozens" of people didn't feel the need to step in.
I mean I've been to my share of frat and sports parties, the big issue is drugging/excessive drinking and date rape, not this kind of thing where a guy drunkenly follows a girl around grabbing her chest while she says "stop". That gets you tossed out immediately at the least

Bystander effect. "Someone here will stop the crime but it won't be me!"

bystandereffect.jpg
 
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@md-2020 , Hey man dont want to twist your words but you seen to brushing this off as nothing . People get drunk and Rape girls on campuses that doesnt make it right .. *yes I know that was a hyperbole*
 
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