Should I quiet?

[yellowbutterfly101]

Hi everyone! Not sure i'm posting in the right place so sorry if I have it wrong!

I'm about to go in to my final year studying medicine in Ireland. I love my college, I feel like I have settled in well making some friends and things. However recently I have been feeling like I would be far better off dropping out. I've always found what I am studying to be really interesting, and genuinely enjoy spending time talking to patients. But for the last few months while on placement I feel like I am not physically able/smart enough to be a doctor.

My grades are fairly rubbish - I have passed everything so far but always only scrapped through. It seems like no matter how much effort I put in it is never reflected in my grades. Each year I try to pick myself up and say I will do better, but I simply don't seem capable. I don't feel able to answer any of the questions the doctors ask me (even when I don't feel as if I'm particularly under pressure), and I seem to mess up even the most basic tasks on the wards. I'm clumsy and awkward, and have a horrible rate of success taking bloods. I feel sick most times I go on the wards - not that I don't enjoy it, but that I'll mess something up so badly that it was hurt a patient (I'm meant to be there to help not to cause pain!!). I wouldn't mind this at all if I hadn't been working hard. I've never skipped a clinic, I happily take on any task a doctor suggests and I study consistently from the beginning of term.

None of my friends seem to feel the same way. While I'm obviously not totally independent they seem to study less, spend less time on the wards and get phenomenal grades without the stress. This has been really getting me down - I'm 12 months away from internship and feel like I'm wasting my time. It's stopping me sleeping properly and I feel as if I have nothing to look forward to aside from a future of constant worry about whether I'm good enough. I care so much about my patients - I really am willing to give 110 per cent to them but I feel like that isn't enough.

My options are to quit now - save my self the money, effort and stress and just drop out. Obviously this will have huge ramifications. My parents will accept it and support me no matter what, but they certainly won't be happy. I'll be disappointed in myself for taking the easy way out and obviously I'll miss my friends - not to mention all the money and time I'll have wasted.

On the other hand could try to stick with it for another year - presumably deal with whatever comes up for another year and then work in an area of medicine where I can't possible mess things up. Would really appreciate any advice from anybody who has been in a similar situation. Thanks so much.

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[yellowbutterfly101]

And I've just noticed I misspelt the title. Can't even get that right! sorry.

 

[bashwell]

If I were you, I'd just try my best to stay the extra 12 months and graduate. 12 months really isn't that long, you can definitely do it! If you don't do medicine, at least you'll have the medical degree, which will open doors for you later down the road. I know of one or two people from my medical school who did that (e.g. one person used his medical degree to get into consulting with Accenture and I highly doubt Accenture would've taken him otherwise).

Coincidentally I also have a friend who actually went to an Irish medical school, but he dropped out with only 1 year to go until he graduated, just as you're currently contemplating. He then studied business/economics, graduated, and is now looking for a job. I think he regrets leaving med school since there's little likelihood he'll be able to go back now. The grass isn't always greener.

I think a lot of med students feel like they are clumsy, can't do things right, etc. But that's ok. That's why you're in med school, to learn how to do things right, etc!

Also grades don't ultimately matter as long as you pass and graduate. P = MD (or the Irish equivalent), right? If you can pass, then that fulfills the bar for what a competent intern or junior doctor needs to be able to function as a junior doctor.

Don't worry about what your parents or friends might think. Good friends will support you through your difficulties and struggles and understand if you can't always be with them etc.

It sounds like what you most need is just some encouragement. And maybe some help with all the stress. Please consider talking to a friendly counsellor you trust which most medical schools should be able to direct you to. It's a shame that so many medical students do suffer from stress and worse in medical school, but please also know there's almost always help around if you look for it too. If I were there in person I'd be happy to help you out if I could. I'm sure there are many others like that around your medical school or community. Just try to seek them out.

Med school in Ireland (like the UK and other nations in the Commonwealth) is ridiculously inexpensive compared to how much it costs in the US. If you're a local or domestic student, then the money really shouldn't be much of an issue, I don't think.

Finally for now I'd say it's better to regret the things you did than the things you didn't do. In other words, if you have to regret regardless of what you do, if regret is a foregone conclusion, then you might as well regret doing something (med school) than regret not doing something (leaving med school). At least that's my opinion.

You can also take a gap year and have time to think things through and sort yourself out before quitting can't you?

Hope that helps somewhat.

 

[neutropeniaboy]

Quit.

Sometimes it's the most difficult of tasks to actually complete. If your days now are consumed by self-doubt and you truly barely "get by," you will find that later in your career when the stakes are much higher that your self-doubt and struggles to find the answers will be compounded by a distinct lack of support among your colleagues. Sure, you'll get encouragement from colleagues, but you're not going through life together. It's not like a hike that has some peak and you just need to go a bit further.

They'll start depending upon you as you will depend upon them (residency). Later still, when you call the shots, there will be few or none to back you up. You'll have to call the shots, draw upon your fund of knowledge and experience and there won't be anyone next to you to say, "there, there..."

That's the stark reality of Medicine.

I don't recommend going into something you don't like (i.e., I want to be a cardiologist but I'll settle for X) just because you think it will be easier for you or so that you might not injure a patient or inconvenience a colleague. You will find that you've wasted years of your life and be too old to start a new career.

These are words of advice, not rants accusing you of being unable to cut it.

Otherwise, prove yourself wrong.

 

[J ROD]

This close I would get my degree and if you still feel that way in a year. Look for ways to use your medical degree without practicing. Like consulting.

You paid most of the dues might as well get it. Like I did with my PharmD

 

[deleted480308]

Finish

 

[neutropeniaboy]

Concord fallacy.

 

[Doctor Bob]

Concord fallacy.

It's things like this that keep me coming back to SDN...
10 minutes of googling Concorde Fallacy and *bam*, learned something new.

 

[deleted480308]

Concord fallacy.

That supposes a defense of a bad investment because of how deep you are. This is a good investment that they are deep in...

 

[neutropeniaboy]

It is a bad investment. He gets sick on the wards. He admits he's clumsy. He admits he barely passes. This is a recipe for disaster. There is no recovery from this pit. Why continue to invest when nothing good will come out of this investment?

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

 

[yellowbutterfly101]

*She*
Thanks so much for all your advice and help guys. I'll have to think about it for a while - i'm not due back in college til September so at least I have time to think about all angles. I don't see myself working clinically - no matter how much I want to some people just aren't able. But I like to think I can make a difference in other ways - which may be easier with a degree. I'll decide soon. Either way advice is greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys!

 

[justin1390]

Hey yellowbutterfly, I'd definitely get the degree at this point. Not sure how much schooling is, but if you are in the same shoes as us in America, you're in a deep amount of debt. With 4 years of post-undergrad training and a slip of paper to prove it, there WILL be a place for you outside of clinical medicine. One of my classmate's dad did that and has done very well for himself. I mean, very, very well. Consulting, pharma, etc. are just a few options.

That said, I totally understand where you are coming from in most aspects. I really, really struggle the first two years, and though I excelled on clinical rotation, at the end of third year I am beginning to regret the 7 years I'll spend in med school and residency training. I think I'll want it back, even though I enjoy clinical medicine. This is a huge problem among med students, and you are definitely not alone. I say give it one more year then bail for non-clinical medicine or another career path.

 

[hmockingbird]

I think it would make sense to stick around the year and get the degree, but this is also from the US where it can be an advantage to have an MD in other fields - I have no idea if that is the same in Ireland.

Regardless, before you decide, have you talked to anyone at your school about your performance? My school has formal positions for a doctor who helps with career counseling, and another person who helps with study skills (I think she has an education degree) - maybe your school has similar people? You could also consider talking to a doctor you worked with whom you think would give you good advice. I would also second the suggestion to talk to a psychological counselor (in the US, medical schools provide free and confidential mental health services). It seems like many of your problems stem from two things... performance anxiety and ineffective study techniques. It's possible that the career just isn't for you. However, I would try to address these underlying issues before you decide to quit, as it seems you are still interested in the career.