Spouse and Kids don't like the city, what to do?

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ELOVL4

Doc from the Ozarks
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I am a PGY-1 in New York. My Spouse and 3 y/o daughter tired of the city. They are pissed off by the rush and crowd. what to do?:confused:

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Which part of the city do you live in now? There are plenty of relatively family-friendly places around the city. In Brooklyn, you have Park Slope and Prospect Heights, the baby stroller meccas of the city. Queens has Astoria, which is pretty subway accessible, as well as Kew Gardens. Jersey has some family-friendly cities that are accessible to the PATH trains. Even Manhattan itself has slower paced areas, like Inwood; even Stuyvestant and Peter Cooper Village are nice, bucolic places with tons of amenities. Then if you go north, you can find some nice places in Riverdale, Yonkers, etc.
 
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How does a 3 year old have an opinion about a city?

Dear Santa,

Please may I have an an urban lifestyle in a rural setting and a group of cosmopolitan playmates. Please get mummy an organic cookbook as I am really getting into macrobiotic food. Please get Daddy some business books, something on stock trading and the pump and dump method so he can afford to get me clothes made of all natural fibres. I simply cant turn up to nursery in anything containing nylon or polyester ever again!

Your Gemmina,
2.5 yrs
 
Dear Santa,

Please may I have an an urban lifestyle in a rural setting and a group of cosmopolitan playmates. Please get mummy an organic cookbook as I am really getting into macrobiotic food. Please get Daddy some business books, something on stock trading and the pump and dump method so he can afford to get me clothes made of all natural fibres. I simply cant turn up to nursery in anything containing nylon or polyester ever again!

Your Gemmina,
2.5 yrs


Very funny, I live in cobble hill, and most kids behave like this, including my 5 year old daughter (I am not proud of this :p)

To OP, look likes there is some advice here:
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=875660
 
I am a PGY-1 in New York. My Spouse and 3 y/o daughter tired of the city. They are pissed off by the rush and crowd. what to do?:confused:

This is why I didn't even THINK about applying to NYC programs...or, in fact, any programs in cities that size (Chicago, Atlanta, LA, Dallas, etc). The largest we went were Indianapolis and Columbus (~1.7-1.8 million people)...and those are HUGE cities to us.

I love NYC, but it's simply too expensive, and not a good place to raise a family, IMO. Wonderful place to visit, and I hope to take many, many trips there once I have an income...

On a more constructive note: I would start looking for PGY-2 spots elsewhere...or tell your family to suck it up for 2-3 more years (2, if you want to fast track into child...). There is a website somewhere that has listing for open PGY-2 spots, where PD's advertise...

Good Luck!
 
Dear Santa,

Please may I have an an urban lifestyle in a rural setting and a group of cosmopolitan playmates. Please get mummy an organic cookbook as I am really getting into macrobiotic food. Please get Daddy some business books, something on stock trading and the pump and dump method so he can afford to get me clothes made of all natural fibres. I simply cant turn up to nursery in anything containing nylon or polyester ever again!

Your Gemmina,
2.5 yrs

You are aware that Americans think EVERYTHING is funnier if we read it in our heads in a British accent.
 
Thank you fellows. I just got back from on-call . I appreciate your inputs. I am sending my CV's to few places.
 
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NYC is considered one of the best, if not the best city in the world. They love you more than anything, and I'm sure you are getting an excellent training. Just tell them you love them and after you are done with your training that you will make it up to them (by moving to any city they want). Don't feel bad, you went there for a reason, it's just not evident now but it'll make sense at the end. Good luck.
 
New York is great if you are single, but its the worst city in America if you have a family and make less than ~ 150k per year.

I lived there as a single guy for a few years but when I got married and had kids I knew I could never live there again unless I ended up making a ton of money (~ 400k or higher)

A med student with a family, with rare exceptions, would be well advised to never rank an NYC residency program. Even if your family likes the big city, its just too ridiculously expensive to support a family there on a resident salary.
 
New York is great if you are single, but its the worst city in America if you have a family and make less than ~ 150k per year.

I lived there as a single guy for a few years but when I got married and had kids I knew I could never live there again unless I ended up making a ton of money (~ 400k or higher)

A med student with a family, with rare exceptions, would be well advised to never rank an NYC residency program. Even if your family likes the big city, its just too ridiculously expensive to support a family there on a resident salary.

Not true. I came to NYC for residency with 2 kids. Graduated last year. I've lived a comfortable life. I have no savings, however. If you come here and train at a "top" program, you have the potential to earn a lot in private practice, even if it's part time. You will spend a lot of it on living expenses. That's why things (including psychiatrist fees) are more expensive here. It's like another country with it's own exchange rate.
 
I'm seriously considering coming to new York with kids for residency. Luckily my spouse is guaranteed a job there, but still these posts give me pause.

Strangeglove, while this may sound like an obvious question, I'm wondering where you draw the line for "top" programs. Is it the usual suspects, Columbia, Cornell, and NYU?
 
I would look for a house or apt that was outside of the city area even if that meant a bit of a commute for you every morning. I would also explain to my family what this meant for us as a family once I was done with the residency and how much it meant to me personally. Family is #1, if you guys need to do some compromising to make it work then figure it out. It would cost more to live on the outskirts of the city, but I am sure if you really look you can find something. Try to find something in the city that interests your spouse as well, something that will make them excited about being near the city because come on...NY has an immense amount of things to offer. Find what they are passionate about whether it is cuisine or fashion or music or painting or tap dance or libraries...whatever...lol..has to be something they feel excitement about and I have no doubt you can find it offered in NY.

Make it work for both of you and the little one.
 
Agree with the above. NYC is great if you're single, but as you get older, I found the benefits to be less and less for my tastes.

What do to do? Hard to say, but being a resident locks you into the area unless you can transfer out and that will be a pain in the rear. I'd follow the above advice. Personally, I wasn't a big fan of Westchester but it's much more rural and may appeal to your family.
 
Consider living in Westchester.

As a person that had to spend 2 years learning with kids from Westchester, Fairfield and other counties near there, i have to say those kids live the freakin life.
 
Agree with the above. NYC is great if you're single, but as you get older, I found the benefits to be less and less for my tastes.

What do to do? Hard to say, but being a resident locks you into the area unless you can transfer out and that will be a pain in the rear. I'd follow the above advice. Personally, I wasn't a big fan of Westchester but it's much more rural and may appeal to your family.

Well, to each is own, Still NYC is now a cesspool of egotistical yuppies who do nothing but live in a giant mall. Magnaros closed recently, EC cutlets all the dive bars and classic places are now gone. Hell at least we have keens chophouse and Russ and daughters left. I can't imagine myself in Ohio, but my psychiatrist said i ought to move midwest for the people.
 
I would look for a house or apt that was outside of the city area even if that meant a bit of a commute for you every morning. I would also explain to my family what this meant for us as a family once I was done with the residency and how much it meant to me personally. Family is #1, if you guys need to do some compromising to make it work then figure it out. It would cost more to live on the outskirts of the city, but I am sure if you really look you can find something. Try to find something in the city that interests your spouse as well, something that will make them excited about being near the city because come on...NY has an immense amount of things to offer. Find what they are passionate about whether it is cuisine or fashion or music or painting or tap dance or libraries...whatever...lol..has to be something they feel excitement about and I have no doubt you can find it offered in NY.

Make it work for both of you and the little one.
Well, i went through a depressed phase and NYC was nothing but a cesspool, then i went through love and everything was much better. The trees were nicer, winter was gone and spring was my motto. I think if you want to be with your family, you could finish PGY-1 and start PGY-2 later.
 
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