Staying together through med school

[shona228]

First off, I just wanted to say this forum is awesome and so supportive! You guys give me hope.

So my bf just started med school and I just started graduate school (PhD). We've been best friends since our first year of undergrad but started dating our 4th year so we've been together a little over 1 year. We got lucky and moved to the same city after undergrad and even though it's a 30-40 min commute to see each other, at least it's something. However, starting next year he and I will be on opposite sides of the city (1 hr apart). Another added complication will be that his mother will be living with him from next year onward so we can't move in together at any point and seeing him will be more difficult since he has to take care of her. But we will probably be able to see each other most weekends.

But honestly, I'm still scared. I know how hard and demanding both our schooling will be and I really just want to get through and be prepared for the next 3 years. What can he and I do to make this easier on both of us without sacrificing our relationship or schoolwork? What can I expect during his rotation year? He's my best friend and the love of my life and I want to stand by him and he wants to stand by me. We've talked about a future together and I think it's what we both want in the long run. We just have to get through the next few years.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[PIacebo]

Understand that it will definitely be tough. You may have to be the one traveling to see him way more than him coming to see you due to limited time he will have as a med student. Sometimes it probably won't be enough time and will have to Skype/FaceTime. If his mom is there, he should be studying at school and/or library. You should talk about setting up a time to have with each other at least 2-4 hours a week, which may come in the form of a Friday night. In which case he would need to be studying constantly the rest of the week. PM me for more insight. I am in this situation currently, though without the mother part.

 

[Seth Joo]

I think money was the biggest problem while you are in graduate school, I used to earn a fairly good income, comparable to a primary care physician salary. My wife at the time was not happy that I wanted to change professions and become a doctor. We wound up separating and then divorcing.

Medical school is a tough experience and its even harder when you have the added pressure of a spouse and children. We luckily had no children so my divorce was very painless.